Friends with an Ex

Posted by Bill Cammack On January - 10 - 2007

re: http://www.sexerati.com/2007/01/08/how-to-be-friends-with-your-ex/

You’re absolutely right that “let’s just be friends” means that he’s
not interested in hitting it anymore. The reasons aren’t important.
It may be because your body has changed and he’s not physically
attracted to you anymore, or he’s met someone that turns him on a lot
more than you do so that sex with you would be hehe anti-climactic. :)

It’s entirely possible to be friends with someone after your
“relationship” has gone south. First of all, it’s not the
relationship that went south, it’s his desire to have sex with you.
That has nothing to do with whether he likes you as a person or would
spend time with you like any other person he’s met in life and likes
personality-wise. Second… It all depends on whether the two of you
were ever friends in the first place.

As the saying goes, women give sex to get relationships and men give
relationships to get sex. When they’re no longer interested in the
sex, there’s no reason for the guy to fake being in a relationship
with you. Or, if you don’t like the term “faking”, the only thing
that was causing him to consider you as “special” is now gone, and he
becomes either a free agent or has a new “special someone” that he’s
devoting his physcial time to. That doesn’t mean he won’t hang out
with you or talk to you on the phone or check out a movie with you IF
he feels friendly towards you without the impetus of ‘getting on’.

There are lots of reasons people declare that they’re in a
relationship with someone, including loneliness, horniness, and the
fact that they just can’t get anyone else to have sex with them. If
that’s why he was with you, you’re short. If he liked you as a
person and felt that you were worthwhile to hang out with regardless
of whether he’s having sex with you, he’s going to have just as much
respect and esteem for you “after the fact” as he did when it was on.

It’s funny how you often don’t find out what’s really going on in a
relationship until it’s over. :D

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