Bill Cammack

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Stephanie & Bill, originally uploaded by Bill Cammack.

Stephanie Frasco & Bill Cammack

Joyce, Julia, Jesse, Laura, Bill & Suki, originally uploaded by Bill Cammack.

Joyce Bettencourt, Julia Roy, Jesse Chenard, Laura Fitton, Bill Cammack & Suki Fuller

Chris & Bill, originally uploaded by Bill Cammack.

Christopher Prince Boucher & Bill Cammack

Bill & Caroline, originally uploaded by Bill Cammack.

Bill Cammack & Caroline McCarthy
FlashMashMeet – NYC, January 29, 2008

I’m co-hosting this week’s:

“The Shirtless Apprentice” #28: “Matching Color Hue in Final Cut Pro”

Permalink: www.TheShirtlessApprentice.com

Now… Soda is good! :D Pop Rocks are FUN! :D (do they still make those?)… However….. They’re best when they’re kept separate. Do NOT drink soda with Pop Rocks! :D

Was that a public service announcement? No. It’s illustrative of a point… which is…..

Messing with attractive chicks is GOOD! :D Having a circle of friends is ***GOOD**!!! :D …. Messing with attractive chicks within your circle of friends?… No Good! :( :(

Of course, there are exceptions to this, like if you’re really, REALLY, *REALLY* into politics and the chick makes up weirdo recipes, cooks and eats them. Other than that, it’s particularly poor policy to mess with (or, some would say “date”) attractive chicks who have the exact same set of friends that you do.

There are *MANY* reasons for this. For the first one, I will refer to a classic statement about prostitution. I wish I knew who made it up, but I don’t, so I can’t attribute it. All I know is that DatingGenius didn’t make it up and doesn’t deserve any credit for it. :) The statement about prostitution reads:

“You don’t pay a woman to have sex with you… You pay her to go away afterwards! :D”

This is the first benefit of messing with chicks that are not your friends…. um… no, not that you get to pay them. Everybody pays for sex. When you take a girl out and pay for her dinner, you’re angling to get sex from her, so put that on the tab. When you buy a fancy car so you can pull better chicks, put that on the tab. When you buy a girl a drink at a bar in hopes that she’ll stand still long enough to listen to your sap rap about why she should date you, put that on the tab. When she stays at home playing XBOX Live while you’re working your 9-5? That’s right. Add that to the tab.

So you’re paying for sex either way, however, if the chick isn’t in your circle of friends, after you tap that, she goes away, and she STAYS away! :D You have your friends, she has hers. If you FEEL like overlapping them, you can. If you DON’T feel like overlapping them, there’s no chance she’s going to randomly appear at your regular haunts. This is good for when you want to relax and chill with friends without the spectre of some chick you’re messing with showing up in the middle of one of your knock-down, drag-out arguments against five people at a time. It’s also good on the off-chance that an attractive chick that you’d like to kick it to is going to randomly show up in a bar where you have to be quiet. :D

So, yes, you want your world to be as separate from hers as possible. Not only so you can get on with other chicks and maintain the status-quo of your more-important relationships, but because you want to have the freedom of choice to socially interact with her as opposed to knowing that the same people that invited YOU out invited HER out.

Another benefit is in the oh-so-unlikely case that you ever break up. Well… That statement assumes you were “dating” her in the first place, so let’s say “in case you don’t feel like messing with her anymore, or vice versa”. :D In either case, now, you have a chick that you used to have physical dealings with sitting around like a bump on a log while you feed grapes to some chick sitting on your lap that you met at the “don’t walk” sign while you were waiting to cross the avenue to come to the bar just now. Poooooor policy! :D See that? If you had just not eaten the Pop Rocks with the Soda, you would have been aiiite! :D

So, now, you can’t afford to get up and get a drink and leave the new chick with YOUR friends, because YOUR friends are HER friends, AND she’s sitting right there! :D You also can’t afford to let her go to the bathroom by herself, lest she suffer the slings and arrows of cockblocking females on the waiting line. :/ So, now, you’re basically tethered to this chick every time you bring her around your mutual friends like how those chicks put dog leashes on their babies and let them run around in the streets and think that it has no psychological effect on their kids to be walked just like actual dogs they see on leashes when they go to the park or on television. No good. Quality of life is LOW! :(

Benefit #3 is based on the fact that chicks can’t keep their mouths shut about stuff… ESPECIALLY if they’re getting “hit off proppah”. So, if you want every chick that you know to hear the details about how you ‘dish it out’, go ahead and mess with girls in your circle. When you start getting those funny looks out of the corners of their eyes like they know something that you don’t know they know… That’s what happened. Under normal circumstances (read: The chick is NOT in your circle of friends), this is a *great* thing, because whether they admit it to her or not, her friends are going to want you to do to THEM what you did to HER! :D In this case, it’s the absolute worst because now you’ve created MORE potential Pop Rocks & Soda situations instead of FEWER, or prefereably NONE! :D

Now, this doesn’t mean to *only* ‘date’ enemies. Dating enemies comes in handy because after y’all stop messing and they’re mad at you, nothing’s different because they were mad at you before you tapped it. :D How convenient is THAT? :D Dating enemies is also uniquely useful for “I Hate You sex” and “Make-Up sex”, but that’s an entirely different topic! ;)

DatingGenius

I had this same conversation at least three times last week, so I may as well write it down so next time it comes up, I can save my breath and point the chick to this post. :)

Here is something very important that women need to know that could save you HOURS of wondering about why some guys do the things they do. This is a major stumbling block, and if you can get over it, you’ll be more effective in dealing with men…. especially men you aren’t interested in hooking up with. Ready? :D Pay attention, now………..

When it comes to ‘getting on’, Guys.Do.Not.Care.What.Chicks.Think.

That’s it. Period. That’s the tip that will save you HOURS of confusion and commiseration with your girlfriends over Haagen Dazs. Guys do *NOT* care AT.ALL what you think.

Now, let’s go over some typical and oft-repeated statements that women make:

“Didn’t he see my wedding ring?”
“I told him I only saw him as a friend”
“I wasn’t dressed sexy, but he still tried to get my number”
“Every time I talk to him, I only give short answers”
“I told him I wasn’t interested in him, romantically”
“I told him I was a lesbian and introduced him to my girlfriend”
“What makes him think I’ll date him after he dated my sister?”
“We can’t XYZ… We work together!”
“How dare he ask me out when I know he has a girlfriend?”

Yadda Yadda Yadda Blah Blah Blah EVERY.SINGLE.EFFIN’.DAY, some chick is confused about why a guy keeps trying to kick it to her. It’s very simple. He’s kicking it to you because HE.WANTS.TO.GET.WITH.YOU, *PERIOD*! He’s not interested in what you think about it. He’s not interested in what you have to say about it. Let’s look at what floats a lot of guy’s boats… pornography.

Pornography is ‘what?’ for the most part?….. Pictures & Videos. There may be audio content as well, but the audio pertains to the sex. These things are flying off the shelves. Pornography is BIG BUSINESS. Now, let’s think about how many of these publications (… I almost spelled pubications just now :/) and videos include chicks talking, or expressing their thoughts about something intelligent like the stock market or taxes or computer programming……. NONE. Why? Because when it comes to getting on, NOBODY CARES what you think. They care about what you look like and what you’re going to do. Period.

Now, let’s revisit some of our typical chick quandaries above, in relation to pornography:

“The porno chick had on a wedding ring?”
- So what?

“The porno chick wasn’t dressed sexy, but he still tried to get her number”
- The plan is to get her OUT of her clothes in the first place, so what difference would it make to a guy whether a chick has on pumps or sneakers? What difference does it make if she has on a leather mini or baggy sweats? None.

“The porno chick only gives him short answers to his questions”
- Short answers are better than NO answers. You’re still in the game if you’re getting ANY answers at all. That’s the whole point, to stay in the game until you can get on by hook or crook….. mostly, CROOK! :D

“The porno chick told him she wasn’t interested in him, romantically”
- He’s not interested in HER romantically, either. He just wants to hit it. Women tend to confuse a guy being physically interested in her for sex with liking her as a person. More on that in another post. Let’s just say that one has nothing to do with the other.

“The porno chick is a lesbian”
- Good. That way she’ll mind her own business when I meet other chicks, OR she’ll bring extra chicks, and I won’t have to do any work to hook up with them. Regardless of what she claims she’s into, a hot chick is a hot chick. Lesbianism is merely an accessory… a fringe benefit. :D

“What makes him think the porno chick will date him after he dated her sister?”
- See the lesbian section, above. The more, the merrier. Extra points if they’re related.

“How dare he ask the porno chick out when she knows he has a girlfriend?”
- There are enough chicks out there that will mess with “taken” guys or married guys or whatever. I mean, that’s NOTHING… If you take a look around the internet, you’d be SURPRISED at some of the stuff they can get chicks to do, like not even with PEOPLE! :O So, having it be known that you have a significant other doesn’t lessen your odds of getting on one iota. In some cases, it makes you MORE attractive to chicks for several reasons, including that it seems like a challenge to try to get “some other chick’s guy” to hook up with her.

So there you have it. Of course, some of y’all tuned out to the analogies because you don’t consider yourselves porno chicks. This is like the phenomenon where women will go out to a club and dance happily and sing along with “Bitches Ain’t ish But Hoes & Tricks”… because… say it with me, ladies!!! :D

“Oh… He’s Not Talking About *ME*!!! :D”

hahahahahaha

So that’s the trick that leads to your enlightenment about those guys that try to pick you up at the club or the gym or the supermarket or waiting for the bus or in the street in the middle of the night near Port Authority, when it’s time for the runaways to beat the clock for the last bus heading back to their part of Jersey….. um… what was I talking about?….

DatingGenius

I’m co-hosting this week’s:

“The Shirtless Apprentice” #27: “Color Correcting Whilte Balance in Final Cut Pro”

Permalink: www.TheShirtlessApprentice.com