OK Fellaz… Today, we’re going to talk about how to break up with your girlfriend or the chick you’re seeing or dating or whatever you’d like to call it.
Actually, let’s start with something easy. Here’s what a female needs to do if she wants to get rid of her boyfriend:
Now that we’ve covered that, :D let’s get on to the tough part, which is a guy getting his girlfriend to vamoose.
This is a very delicate process, assuming you still like her as a person and want to retain her as a friend. It’s even further complicated if you just happen to be a nice guy that doesn’t enjoy breaking hearts. You have to figure out how to extract her from the “romantic” aspect of the relationship WITHOUT her throwing out the friendship aspect along with it.
There’s a biological reason why chicks tend to overdo it when it comes to relationships. It’s not their fault. :) According to “Go Ask Alice”:
“Unlike men, who produce new sperm daily throughout most of their lifetime, women are born with all their eggs in one.. okay, two baskets (ovaries). To be more precise, a woman is born with about one to two million immature eggs, or follicles, in her ovaries.
Throughout her life, the vast majority of follicles will die through a process known as atresia. Atresia begins at birth and continues throughout the course of the woman’s reproductive life. When a woman reaches puberty and starts to menstruate, only about 400,000 follicles remain. With each menstrual cycle, a thousand follicles are lost and only one lucky little follicle will actually mature into an ovum (egg), which is released into the fallopian tube, kicking off ovulation. That means that of the one to two million follicles, only about 400 will ever mature.
Relatively little or no follicles remain at menopause, which usually begins when a woman is between 48-55 years of age. The remaining follicles are unlikely to mature and become viable eggs because of the hormonal changes that come along with menopause.”
So, basically, women are biologically inclined to be selective as far as whom they have sex with because they have a finite number of opportunities to have kids. When you add that to the pressure of patriarchal societies for women to only have sex with one guy or be “called out they name”, you can see why it’s so tough to get rid of a chick once she’s decided you’re “the one”.
So now, you’re in a situation where you don’t want to delete her entirely… just roll her back to a previous version of your relationship… You know, like going back to Tiger from Leopard.
First of all, to do this AT ALL, you have to know WHY your girl likes you. Most guys don’t know this, as evidenced by their paranoid behavior, trying (unsuccessfully) to keep tabs on their girl and keep her from giving some to the next man. There’s no reason to worry about your girl hanging out with other guys IF you’re offering her something unique that other guys aren’t. If you got the rap by talking about your car and your house, you may lose out to a guy that has a BOAT and a house, but that’s an entirely different issue.
So, assuming you have this list of great qualities that you have that made her choose you instead of the other guys that were trying to get on, use that list to figure out which qualities you need to subtract from your personality in order to get her to start seeing you as NOT “the one” and shift her romantic focus to some other guy or several other guys. :D
Once you’ve got it figured out, change your personality and hold the line. There’s no telling how long this is going to take, so you may have to remain “in character” for months. Eventually, she’ll question her own judgement about selecting YOU as “the one”, and then the questions start… “Where is this relationship going?” “What are we to each other?” “What are we doing?” blah blah blah Just remain friendly towards her and blase about your “relationship” and eventually, the understanding that YOU are not “the one” will solidify for her, and she’ll be ready and willing to break up with you. [insert dancing smiley]
Now, of course the chicks are going to complain that this is underhanded and sneaky and cowardly. :) In reality, it’s in THEIR best interest. This way, THEY get to break up with YOU and give themselves the props for ejecting from a situation that THEY figured out wasn’t working FOR THEM. Meanwhile, you know the truth, and everybody’s happy! :D
Just don’t lull yourself to sleep while you’re waiting for her to dump you. When it happens, it’s going to be out of the blue. It’s going to be some time and place that you’re not ready for her to break up with you, so you need to be vigilant. It’s CRITICAL how you “handle” the breakup. If your demeanor is OH, THANK *GOD*!!! IT’S ABOUT TIME! :D then you did all this for nothing. :D
When she lets you know what time it is, you want to be a combination of confused, dismayed and “lost”. Don’t overdo it, though. You don’t want her to change her mind! :O Let her know that you understand why she has to do what she has to do and that you still love and care about her “as a friend”. Make sure everything’s smooth between you, and you’ve successfully rolled her back. :D You’re still friends and everyone’s happy. :)
YOUR job isn’t over, though… It takes chicks a while to get over relationships, so be a gentleman and don’t sport your new chick in public until you’re sure your ex is cool with it. ;)