A reader writes:
“I’m a guy. Why don’t women approach me?”
That’s always situational. It depends on what she likes and it depends on what you’re like. The first place you want to go is to read life isn’t fair. If you aren’t cute or well-built or have a great personality or sense of humor (or, of course, all of the above! :D) then you’re at a SERIOUS disadvantage to begin with.
The problem is that everybody wants to date the top chicks. A LOT OF WOMEN are being completely overlooked and underdated because they fall outside of a certain range of what guys consider HOT/HAWT. This means that unless you can envision and internalize your station in life, you’re going to delude yourself into thinking that you can get the same girls the next man can get, when, in reality, you’re like a little league player batting against a MLB pitcher.
So, the first thing you might want to recognize is that you’re not “fly”, so chicks aren’t SUPPOSED to be approaching you.
If that’s the case, then you need to make moves to accentuate the positive. One way to do that is to dress better. Chicks like colorful things, also things that sparkle. Distract them from your looks with stylish gear & maybe a nice watch if it fits your persona. Also, be a really, really, REALLY nice guy. This is to your advantage because often, when guys “have it like that” that chicks just like them off the bat, they get souped up. Due to the fact that they can pick up a new chick in, like, 5 MINUTES, women are romantically expendable to them and it shows in their demeanor. By being a nice guy and appreciating women, regardless of how wack you look, you have a chance.
Another good trick is to find out what her hobbies are and feign interest. Of course, this only works if you know something about her ahead of time. So next time you go the bar, bring a copy of the book you heard her talking to her friends about. Flip to a page around 3/4 of the way through the book so it looks like you’re deeply engrossed in it. Watch her make her way over and strike up a conversation 😉
… Oh yeah… Buy the cliff’s notes too, in case you ACTUALLY have to talk to her ABOUT the book. 😀
So that covers it if you’re not a good-looking guy to begin with. She’s not approaching you because…. she doesn’t feel like it! So make sure you attract her with gimmicks, smoke & mirrors. However, what if you ARE attractive, and she’s STILL not approaching you?
Well, first of all, you might not be HER type, physically. Just because a lot of chicks give you compliments doesn’t mean that ALL of them want to hook up with you. Assuming that’s not the case, you just might be too much for her to handle, and she knows damned well that she’s not going to have *ANY* control over you, so she doesn’t dare step to you and let you know what she wants. Women like mentally strong guys, but they need to feel like they have some say in what goes on. They need to feel that they have some sort of effect on you, or perhaps leverage. Without that leverage, they feel like their relationship could end any day when you just say “Nah… Not interested. Don’t feel like seeing you this week. Later.” If a gal can’t see in her mind’s eye being with you and having there be SOMETHING about her that’s unique and compelling you to stay with her, she’s not likely to step, because she’s already seeing the end of her relationship with you before it even starts.
Finally, although there are probably another million reasons a chick might not step to a guy she likes, as much as we hate rejection as guys, women hate it MUCH, MUCH, MUCH MORE! 😀 You have to consider that they’re brought up to get stuff for free just from their looks. Get into parties for free. Have drinks bought for them for free. Get taken shopping for free. Get invited out on yachts for free. Get put up at a Jersey Shore beach house over a three-day weekend for free…… So they’re VERY used to people just giving them things. That includes raps.
The fact that you haven’t already approached her to throw your hat in the ring is a red flag to her. In her experience, a guy that’s interested in her offers her some kind of bribe to “listen to his demo”. If she knows that you’ve seen her, and you haven’t come over and introduced yourself, that means she might very well walk up to you, try to strike up a conversation and get rejected. 🙁 Hate it when THAT happens! hahahaha 😀 So it’s the safer play to hang out with her girls or whatever group she came out with and keep checking you out, but never actually step to you.
Having said that, don’t expect her to walk all the way over to you unless she’s just that confident about herself, which is a fantastic thing! 😉 For the most part, chicks will put themselves within striking distance for *YOU* to rap to them. You still end up doing the work, but what she did to facilitate that was to make herself available. She deserves credit for not sitting on a couch against a wall all night, surrounded by friends she’s never going to hook up with anyway… looking like the king surrounded by the rook and a row of pawns. So acknowledge her gesture with a smile and “hello” and then it’s business as usual from there. 😉