How To Tell He’s Cheating

It seems that here, in NYC, we can’t get away from news about “cheating”, infidelity, whatever you want to call it when guys (or gals) go outside of the limits that they agreed to with their current “significant other”.

First, we had the Governor of New York, Eliot Spitzer getting caught renting chicks. If you’re interested in that sort of thing, check out the actual affidavit on TheSmokingGun.com.

So then, when Eliot Spitzer resigns, David Paterson takes over as Governor and immediately holds HIS OWN PRESS CONFERENCE admitting extramarital affairs. That shouldn’t be a problem for him because getting laid isn’t against the law…. paying for it *IS*. Unless, of course, you’re in an area of the United States where they decided to legalize prostitution or you’re “acting” in a porno movie.

So anyway, you get the picture… Guys (and gals) are gonna do whatever they *want* to do, regardless of what they told YOU they were gonna do. Now, we’ve already gone over “How to cheat properly” for the fellaz….. So this time, we give some hints to the chicks out there that are always wondering to themselves “How do I know he’s cheating?” πŸ˜€

Well, first of all, tune in to the Maury show, if it’s still on the air. You will find an incredible assortment of imbeciles that somehow find new and innovative ways to get caught cheating.

Next, you could do the old “Find condoms amongst his belongings when he doesn’t use any with you” trick. Guys slip up on this one all the time. They forget how hard they worked and begged and pleaded and did everything their girlfriend wanted in order to get her to start taking the pill so he could stop using condoms. We’ll skip the part about how stupid this is, because if YOU can get her to not use condoms, so can everybody else. So anyway, it doesn’t occur to guys that now that they’ve succeeded they can’t play off owning boxes of condoms anymore as if they were planning to use them on their girl…. Especially when it’s a 3-pack and there’s only one left. πŸ˜€

Then there’s the old “Find women’s lingerie in your crib that you’ve never seen before AND isn’t anywhere near your size” trick. Due to the excitement of the circumstances, guys tend to be lax in taking inventory on what a chick walked in the door with and making sure she walks back out the door with the same stuff. Also, since guys don’t normally buy lingerie for their women, how are they supposed to know what’s yours and what isn’t? Meanwhile, if he did the right thing by her in your bedroom, she was too delirious to remember to put her panties on before her jeans, or that she ever owned panties in the first place. πŸ˜€ For a primer on what said lingerie might look like, Ask Frasco… she knows! πŸ˜€

The next tip would be a lack of reaction to your trying to withhold sex from him. If you get mad at him for not taking out the garbage or something and announce that you’re not going to give him any, if he says “cool” or says absolutely nothing at all, trust and believe he has contingency plans for the possibility of a shortage of sex. Same thing goes for if HE suddenly doesn’t want to have as much sex with you as he used to. Sure, he might be more stressed at work or whatever, but it’s also possible his physical attention’s focused on an L.A. face with an Oakland bootie…. Neither of which, YOU happen to own…..

Another problem for YOU is if all of a sudden your boyfriend starts improving his appearance. He’s been the same dude for ages, but NOW he wants to lose that weight….. Now he wants to buy new clothes…. Now he wants to get in shape…. Now he wants to hook his hair up…. These are primitive mating rituals, like how when a chick’s sweating you, she starts playing with her hair. It’s not likely that one day, he passed a mirror and was like “DAG! I FELL OFF!!!” and started hooking himself up. He was already in good enough shape to get you to mess with him, so it’s not that either.

It could also be a bad thing if he DOESN’T improve his appearance, hahaha… Meaning that if he’s telling you he’s going to the gym three nights a week and he’s just getting fatter and fatter, he might be eating well over at the next chick’s house and you might be hurtling towards the asteroid field of replacement.

Of course, as Client 9 found out, his cell phone / PDA is a veritable treasure trove of information. Lots of guys leave their phones unlocked, so feel free to rummage around and cross reference his onboard address book with recent and frequent incoming and outgoing calls…. Especially the ones that occurred during the wee hours of the morning….

So, basically, there are a million clues… You just have to know what you’re looking for, and in most cases, what you’re looking AT, because it’s happening right in front of your face. πŸ˜€ Numbers on papers left in pockets… Lipstick-stained shirt collars that smell like perfume you don’t own… Receipts from plane reservations with other chicks’ names on them…. Room service charges from a different state than he told you he was going “with the fellaz”…. *YAWN*… Oh… Make sure you meet his family as quickly as you can. Get in good with them so that one sunny day when you’re all hanging out sippin’ lemonade and you bring up his cousin Sheila, his family goes

“Who?”

DatingGenius

12 thoughts on “How To Tell He’s Cheating”

  1. lol. don’t forget the smelling like soap at 3am in the morning. if your man is at a bar with friends his hands MIGHT smell like that industrial strength soap they have in the bathroom BUT if he smells like “house soap”, try being coy and slide your hands into his underwear… that should be sweat on your finger tips not Lever 2000! lol

  2. Uh-OHHHH! :O A brotha’z givin’ away TRADE SECRETS NOW!!! πŸ˜€

    I mean, I try to be helpful to the ladies, but that’s practically Benedict Arnold status, right thurrrr! πŸ˜€

  3. LOL, oooooops! but if the fellas AMP up their game, this secret is not dangerous. keep wipes (old spice, lever, zest, etc…) handy. scrub your hands, neck and crotch area around your woman. establish the i like to be clean pattern…
    enjoy desert.

    and i beg your forgiveness! will not happen again… πŸ™‚

  4. I think even if you used soap or any old remedy, women can still tell by your body language, that always gave you away, and we always forget the lie we told yesterday.

    1. Theres another blog posting somewhere on here where the first thing I say is… If you change your game up thats when they know. A real “playa” has the same relaxed cool look while talking about dinner, after sex, while defending himself in an argument and when he walks in the door. If you find that your body language is slightly off then lying or being a player is not your game. You should be on an even keel at all times. FYI: sometimes YOU ARE! Girls are notorious for saying/accusing a guy about something JUST too see how you react. If she is right or wrong in playing her guessing game, you should never veer to far in any direction while discussing!

      1. Yeah, this is one of the funny things about the whole dating situation. Women think they’re so smooth at catching men doing what they dIZo that they don’t understand they’re only catching the men that aren’t that slick. Same goes vice versa, of course.

        The trick isn’t actually IN the washing up, it’s in your demeanor, as Frank said. The only good washing up does you is it makes it way less likely that you’re going to be questioned when you get home. Also, showing up at a certain time helps you out. If you’re expected home at 10pm, don’t show up at 1am, talking about you were playing poker with the fellaz and lost track of time.

        As far as “Somebody”s point about lies told yesterday, proper preparation makes it so that lies never have to BE told, and thus never have to be remembered…..

    2. This person sounds like an old guy, If your game is tight you will never get caught, I with what frank says, we can all learn from Frank!

  5. A real Ò€œplayaÒ€ has the same relaxed cool look while talking about dinner, after sex, while defending himself in an argument and when he walks in the door – Are you a real “playa” or what?

  6. Unfortunetly, the phrase playa has ONE main definition which forces me to say, NO IM NOT! Am I a full fledged veteran player in this game called life? Yes Indeed I am. have I been told by a medical doctor that I needed some kind of testing to determine if i was ok? yes. have I been approached late night on the street by some dude I didnt even know and told “wow, thats a nice watch…”, yes I have. Have i been someplace where there was some drop dead looker and barely acknowledged her presence. Of course. My demeaner almost never changes. i might laugh or engage you in a eventful conversation but you would never know i was eyeballing you until i was ready to move in for the kill. The guy who asked about my watch, he just wanted me to panic and be afraid of the possible mugging. I want and he caught the hint. Im still looking at my gucci and singing its about that time…

    Am I a playa, absolutely not! I just happen to be very good at playing whatever game is put in front of me. And if i cant compete with you with in your comfort zone, I re locate the game into mine.

    As that beautiful rap by Big pun goes… Im not a playa I just crush alot! lol

    1. haha Nice! πŸ˜€

      I just had a situation like that happen to me yesterday. I was hustling through Port Authority and without looking left to right, I was aware of the people around and what they were doing. Some guy had been standing against the wall and when I passed him, he started walking right next to me…. I mean RIGHT next to me, stride for stride, hahaha.

      I let him get a grand total of 3 steps in before I turned my head to tell him he was violating…

      I didn’t get to say anything, because I realized it was my client that I was there to meet. I had walked right by him and even though I physically knew SOMEONE was there, I didn’t know it was HIM! πŸ˜€

      But yeah, that’s how it works… The better you get at the game, the better the chick’s going to have to be with HERS to catch you out there doin’ what you DO! πŸ˜€

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