Reader Lisa writes:
Lisa: “I use the number as a guide to tell the odds if he is clean or not. I would love to know how many woman a man is messing with CURRENTLY but guys will lie about that.
Any tips on how to get a man to tell the truth about how many women he’s messing with currently? I wouldn’t care about the past if I he is being honest about the present.”
Here’s how to get a guy to tell the truth about how many women he’s messing with currently…..
wait for it…… (yes, Tyme, I bit your style. Too Bad So Sad)
Date an honest guy.
Thanks for reading. Enjoy your evening! 😀
Random picture of Masako, Masami & Bill, having nothing to do with this article and linked to my video player page. 🙂
That’s it. That’s all. That’s the ENTIRE key to getting a guy to tell the truth. It has to be a part of his character from the get. If you create an alliance with someone, you have to start with the proper foundation, or you’re building your house on sand… if not QUICKSAND.
Women have lots of completely wrong beliefs about relationships that make them susceptible to the simplest deception.
For instance, “I love you” is one of the most devastating things you can say to a woman because she attaches meaning to it on her own. It doesn’t have to mean JACK to you when you SAY it, because she’s conditioned by movies, television and “old wives’ tales” to believe that there’s no way a guy could say that to her if it wasn’t the truth. Meanwhile, guys know this. We see you coming. It’s no tougher for us to say “I love you” than it is for us to say “pass the salt”.
So… Easy way to get laid? Tell a chick “I love you”.
I guess that was a bonus tip hahaha 😀 I meant to talk about truth and ended up talking about deception.
The only way to “get a man to tell the truth” is… you can’t.
YOU have ZERO control over the situation. Here’s the proof… Let’s say your little sister visits you and stays over your crib. Let’s say you COUGHfoolishlyCOUGH leave your man alone with her. When you come back and ask your boyfriend if he tapped that while you were gone, assuming he answers the question AT ALL, there are only two things he can say. YES or NO. Now… There are only two things he can be… A liar or a truth-teller. Here’s the matrix:
He hit it and he’s a truth-teller: “Yes, I screwed your sister.”
He didn’t hit it and he’s a truth-teller: “Nope”
He didn’t hit it and he’s a liar: “Nope”
He dogged your sister ALL DAY LONG and he’s a liar: “Nope”
See how that works? Your finding out the truth has nothing to do with what actually happened. It has to do with who he was as a person before you met him. It has to do with whether he values the truth over doing what he wants to do in life… In this case, screwing your sister. 😀
The ‘problem’ with the above scenario is that in the case of the guy being a truth-teller, he already KNOWS he’s a truth-teller. He already knows that if you ask him if he messed with your sister, he’s not going to lie to you. Therefore… he’s NOT.GOING.TO.DO.IT! 😀 The same thing that makes him tell the truth is the same thing that’s going to prevent him from screwing your sister, so the only situation where a guy is going to say “Yes, I screwed your sister” is a virtual impossibility. Approximately 0.00%
Relationships *SHOULD* be built on truth, but for the most part, they’re built on mutually parasitic behavior. A guy sees a girl he’s attracted to and wants to hook up with her. A girl sees a guy she wants to be in a relationship with and hooks up with him. They both have their goals in elevating the other person past “friend” status to “significant other”. Truth has nothing to do with relationships, and is rarely discussed at all. When was the last time you asked someone you were dating “are you a liar?”….. Think about it….. Let’s go back to our matrix:
He’s a truth-teller: “No, I am not a liar”
He’s a liar: “No, I am not a liar”
You see how that works? The liar is going to LIE about being a liar and represent himself as a truth-teller, hahahahaha 😀
So, like I said, there’s no way to GET someone to tell the truth. All you can do is spend time with someone that’s naturally a truth-teller. You need someone that values truth ABOVE the current status of his relationship to you. If he went to that bachelor party and had girls all over him all night, he’s gonna come back home and tell you nothing happened and he was bored… Like playing poker or something… Electronic Monopoly! Why should he tell you the truth so you can get upset about it? Why would he decrease his physical access to you? What’s HIS benefit in telling you the truth? WHY should he?
This is why you want the guy to value the truth OVER his relationship to you. You want him to be willing to lose you if it means that he remains truthful to himself and congruent with his stated set of values. A friend of mine is like that. He has tons of chances to “cheat”, but he hasn’t and he WON’T, because he wouldn’t be able to look his girl in the face and lie to her. That’s cool. 😀 That’s admirable, IMO. I also consider it an anomaly.
The other thing that gets females into trouble is trusting “women’s intuition”. 😀
Basically, y’all convince yourselves that you’re good judges of character. The effect of this is that once you believe a guy, he can sell you ANYTHING and you’ll eat it up. To disbelieve him is to disbelieve yourself because of cognitive dissonance. This is why y’all KNOW you’re in a TRASH relationship, but hang on to it anyway. To admit that your man is TRASH means that *YOU* are a POOR JUDGE OF CHARACTER, so you hang on as long as you can in the hopes that eventually, you will prove yourself right.
My only advice to women in the area of trust and truth is Checks & Balances. Don’t date guys that nobody knows! 😀 There needs to be a “chain of custody”, like they DIDN’T HAVE in the O.J. Simpson trial. SOMEBODY needs to be able to vouch for this dude. Somebody YOU trust.
There are lots of chicks that ended up on The Maury Povich Show because they THOUGHT they knew something about their man…. but they DIDN’T.