Bill Cammack

Reader Lisa writes:

Lisa: “I use the number as a guide to tell the odds if he is clean or not. I would love to know how many woman a man is messing with CURRENTLY but guys will lie about that.

Any tips on how to get a man to tell the truth about how many women he’s messing with currently? I wouldn’t care about the past if I he is being honest about the present.”

Lisa, :)

Here’s how to get a guy to tell the truth about how many women he’s messing with currently…..

ready?…..

wait for it…… (yes, Tyme, I bit your style. Too Bad So Sad)

Date an honest guy.

Thanks for reading. Enjoy your evening! :D

Random picture of Masako, Masami & Bill, having nothing to do with this article and linked to my video player page. :)
That’s it. That’s all. That’s the ENTIRE key to getting a guy to tell the truth. It has to be a part of his character from the get. If you create an alliance with someone, you have to start with the proper foundation, or you’re building your house on sand… if not QUICKSAND.

Women have lots of completely wrong beliefs about relationships that make them susceptible to the simplest deception.

For instance, “I love you” is one of the most devastating things you can say to a woman because she attaches meaning to it on her own. It doesn’t have to mean JACK to you when you SAY it, because she’s conditioned by movies, television and “old wives’ tales” to believe that there’s no way a guy could say that to her if it wasn’t the truth. Meanwhile, guys know this. We see you coming. It’s no tougher for us to say “I love you” than it is for us to say “pass the salt”.

So… Easy way to get laid? Tell a chick “I love you”.

I guess that was a bonus tip hahaha :D I meant to talk about truth and ended up talking about deception.

The only way to “get a man to tell the truth” is… you can’t.

YOU have ZERO control over the situation. Here’s the proof… Let’s say your little sister visits you and stays over your crib. Let’s say you COUGHfoolishlyCOUGH leave your man alone with her. When you come back and ask your boyfriend if he tapped that while you were gone, assuming he answers the question AT ALL, there are only two things he can say. YES or NO. Now… There are only two things he can be… A liar or a truth-teller. Here’s the matrix:

He hit it and he’s a truth-teller: “Yes, I screwed your sister.”
He didn’t hit it and he’s a truth-teller: “Nope”
He didn’t hit it and he’s a liar: “Nope”
He dogged your sister ALL DAY LONG and he’s a liar: “Nope”

See how that works? Your finding out the truth has nothing to do with what actually happened. It has to do with who he was as a person before you met him. It has to do with whether he values the truth over doing what he wants to do in life… In this case, screwing your sister. :D

The ‘problem’ with the above scenario is that in the case of the guy being a truth-teller, he already KNOWS he’s a truth-teller. He already knows that if you ask him if he messed with your sister, he’s not going to lie to you. Therefore… he’s NOT.GOING.TO.DO.IT! :D The same thing that makes him tell the truth is the same thing that’s going to prevent him from screwing your sister, so the only situation where a guy is going to say “Yes, I screwed your sister” is a virtual impossibility. Approximately 0.00%

Relationships *SHOULD* be built on truth, but for the most part, they’re built on mutually parasitic behavior. A guy sees a girl he’s attracted to and wants to hook up with her. A girl sees a guy she wants to be in a relationship with and hooks up with him. They both have their goals in elevating the other person past “friend” status to “significant other”. Truth has nothing to do with relationships, and is rarely discussed at all. When was the last time you asked someone you were dating “are you a liar?”….. Think about it….. Let’s go back to our matrix:

He’s a truth-teller: “No, I am not a liar”
He’s a liar: “No, I am not a liar”

You see how that works? The liar is going to LIE about being a liar and represent himself as a truth-teller, hahahahaha :D

So, like I said, there’s no way to GET someone to tell the truth. All you can do is spend time with someone that’s naturally a truth-teller. You need someone that values truth ABOVE the current status of his relationship to you. If he went to that bachelor party and had girls all over him all night, he’s gonna come back home and tell you nothing happened and he was bored… Like playing poker or something… Electronic Monopoly! Why should he tell you the truth so you can get upset about it? Why would he decrease his physical access to you? What’s HIS benefit in telling you the truth? WHY should he?

This is why you want the guy to value the truth OVER his relationship to you. You want him to be willing to lose you if it means that he remains truthful to himself and congruent with his stated set of values. A friend of mine is like that. He has tons of chances to “cheat”, but he hasn’t and he WON’T, because he wouldn’t be able to look his girl in the face and lie to her. That’s cool. :D That’s admirable, IMO. I also consider it an anomaly.

The other thing that gets females into trouble is trusting “women’s intuition”. :D

Basically, y’all convince yourselves that you’re good judges of character. The effect of this is that once you believe a guy, he can sell you ANYTHING and you’ll eat it up. To disbelieve him is to disbelieve yourself because of cognitive dissonance. This is why y’all KNOW you’re in a TRASH relationship, but hang on to it anyway. To admit that your man is TRASH means that *YOU* are a POOR JUDGE OF CHARACTER, so you hang on as long as you can in the hopes that eventually, you will prove yourself right.

My only advice to women in the area of trust and truth is Checks & Balances. Don’t date guys that nobody knows! :D There needs to be a “chain of custody”, like they DIDN’T HAVE in the O.J. Simpson trial. SOMEBODY needs to be able to vouch for this dude. Somebody YOU trust.

There are lots of chicks that ended up on The Maury Povich Show because they THOUGHT they knew something about their man…. but they DIDN’T.

DatingGenius

Joey Hardcore & Bill Cammack

Suzy Hotrod & Sanford Dickert

Julia Roy & Amanda Gravel

I’ve been planning on doing a few different shows for quite a while now. Just about everything is in perfect position… however, before going forward, there’s an important consideration… scaling.

My friend Tyme White is always yakking about scaling. “How does it SCALE?” “That’s not going to SCALE!” blah blah blah blah blah…… Unfortunately (fortunately?) she’s right IF you’re looking at your show being a success from when you’re still in the early planning stages.

The way I’m going to define scaling for the purpose of this article is the ability to grow your show, social site, whatever. Just GROW it. Increase your membership. Increase your viewership. Improve your google rank. Get more people interested. Receive more UGC (User-Generated Content). Get more page hits…..

The reason scaling is important… Rather, the reason that YOU should consider your project’s ability to scale is that you might be broadcasting to a niche market. Let’s say, for instance, you want to make a show about DiY Clothing (DiY = Do it Yourself). There are only going to be a certain number of people interested in making their own clothing. A segment of that population watches videos on the internet. A segment of that population will be aware of your show. A segment of THAT population will like your show and recommend it to other people and/or come back and watch it again. A segment of THAT population will become ‘passionate’ about your show and become your core fans.

Threadbanger.com => Rob & Corinne, Justin & MarissaThat’s great for a start, but once you have an audience, what do you do next? How do you get MORE audience? Can you get more? ARE THERE any more people that don’t know about your show already that might be interested? How can you find them? How can you get them interested? What can you change about or add to your show that will reel in an entirely new set of passionate, core fans?

I remember when I became aware of / fascinated by the concept of scaling. I was hanging out in Bed, Bath & Beyond…. I know, I know. It wasn’t my fault. Blame it on Dan McVicar. :/

Bill & Dan

Anyway… I’m hanging out by the checkout line, and there’s this endless stream of people slowly making their way to the register to pay. So I start imagining how many people are passing me, and it occurs to me that it’s A LOT! :D Then it occurs to me that more people passed me in the last 5 minutes than the total number that subscribe to my show in iTunes. :/ THEN, it occurs to me that if I stood there all day, the number of people that passed me would be greater than the number of people that subscribe to many popular, established internet shows. What I took away from that contemplation was that even if you’re considered popular within your own space or echo chamber, there are still more people to reach…. A LOT more people.

One of the most successful internet video shows that I’m aware of is Rocketboom. In 2006, each daily episode was being downloaded ~300,000 times. Even with numbers like that, comparisons were being made to cable television shows, not network shows, which count their viewers by millions. Recently, this show called “Quarterlife” got booed off the stage for ‘only’ pulling in 3,860,000 viewers on NBC… Obviously more than ten times the daily Rocketboom viewership.

Of course, none of this means anything to people that are expressing themselves by putting video on the internet and have no interest in numbers, stats, revenue-sharing, sponsorships, etc. For those that do care, and whose show’s future may very well depend on scaling, it’s important to consider the “what if?” of potential success.

Actually, before you figure out whether your show is scalable, you need to figure out if your show is SUSTAINABLE, which is an entirely different issue. For the most part, there are no “seasons” in internet-show-biz. It’s a new week… You need a new show. Period. Whatever your cycle is… daily, weekly, monthly… you need to come up with a concept that you can produce consistently and deliver on a regular basis. If you can’t do that, scaling’s useless because your viewers will drift away due to lack of output on your part.

So, do like Tyme does… “Ask NOT, Will it Blend?… but Will it SCALE?”

Emilio Mahomar & Bill Cammack

Ellen Cohen & Bill Cammack

Bill Cammack & Noel Hidalgo

It seems that here, in NYC, we can’t get away from news about “cheating”, infidelity, whatever you want to call it when guys (or gals) go outside of the limits that they agreed to with their current “significant other”.

First, we had the Governor of New York, Eliot Spitzer getting caught renting chicks. If you’re interested in that sort of thing, check out the actual affidavit on TheSmokingGun.com.

So then, when Eliot Spitzer resigns, David Paterson takes over as Governor and immediately holds HIS OWN PRESS CONFERENCE admitting extramarital affairs. That shouldn’t be a problem for him because getting laid isn’t against the law…. paying for it *IS*. Unless, of course, you’re in an area of the United States where they decided to legalize prostitution or you’re “acting” in a porno movie.

So anyway, you get the picture… Guys (and gals) are gonna do whatever they *want* to do, regardless of what they told YOU they were gonna do. Now, we’ve already gone over “How to cheat properly” for the fellaz….. So this time, we give some hints to the chicks out there that are always wondering to themselves “How do I know he’s cheating?” :D

Well, first of all, tune in to the Maury show, if it’s still on the air. You will find an incredible assortment of imbeciles that somehow find new and innovative ways to get caught cheating.

Next, you could do the old “Find condoms amongst his belongings when he doesn’t use any with you” trick. Guys slip up on this one all the time. They forget how hard they worked and begged and pleaded and did everything their girlfriend wanted in order to get her to start taking the pill so he could stop using condoms. We’ll skip the part about how stupid this is, because if YOU can get her to not use condoms, so can everybody else. So anyway, it doesn’t occur to guys that now that they’ve succeeded they can’t play off owning boxes of condoms anymore as if they were planning to use them on their girl…. Especially when it’s a 3-pack and there’s only one left. :D

Then there’s the old “Find women’s lingerie in your crib that you’ve never seen before AND isn’t anywhere near your size” trick. Due to the excitement of the circumstances, guys tend to be lax in taking inventory on what a chick walked in the door with and making sure she walks back out the door with the same stuff. Also, since guys don’t normally buy lingerie for their women, how are they supposed to know what’s yours and what isn’t? Meanwhile, if he did the right thing by her in your bedroom, she was too delirious to remember to put her panties on before her jeans, or that she ever owned panties in the first place. :D For a primer on what said lingerie might look like, Ask Frasco… she knows! :D

The next tip would be a lack of reaction to your trying to withhold sex from him. If you get mad at him for not taking out the garbage or something and announce that you’re not going to give him any, if he says “cool” or says absolutely nothing at all, trust and believe he has contingency plans for the possibility of a shortage of sex. Same thing goes for if HE suddenly doesn’t want to have as much sex with you as he used to. Sure, he might be more stressed at work or whatever, but it’s also possible his physical attention’s focused on an L.A. face with an Oakland bootie…. Neither of which, YOU happen to own…..

Another problem for YOU is if all of a sudden your boyfriend starts improving his appearance. He’s been the same dude for ages, but NOW he wants to lose that weight….. Now he wants to buy new clothes…. Now he wants to get in shape…. Now he wants to hook his hair up…. These are primitive mating rituals, like how when a chick’s sweating you, she starts playing with her hair. It’s not likely that one day, he passed a mirror and was like “DAG! I FELL OFF!!!” and started hooking himself up. He was already in good enough shape to get you to mess with him, so it’s not that either.

It could also be a bad thing if he DOESN’T improve his appearance, hahaha… Meaning that if he’s telling you he’s going to the gym three nights a week and he’s just getting fatter and fatter, he might be eating well over at the next chick’s house and you might be hurtling towards the asteroid field of replacement.

Of course, as Client 9 found out, his cell phone / PDA is a veritable treasure trove of information. Lots of guys leave their phones unlocked, so feel free to rummage around and cross reference his onboard address book with recent and frequent incoming and outgoing calls…. Especially the ones that occurred during the wee hours of the morning….

So, basically, there are a million clues… You just have to know what you’re looking for, and in most cases, what you’re looking AT, because it’s happening right in front of your face. :D Numbers on papers left in pockets… Lipstick-stained shirt collars that smell like perfume you don’t own… Receipts from plane reservations with other chicks’ names on them…. Room service charges from a different state than he told you he was going “with the fellaz”…. *YAWN*… Oh… Make sure you meet his family as quickly as you can. Get in good with them so that one sunny day when you’re all hanging out sippin’ lemonade and you bring up his cousin Sheila, his family goes

“Who?”

DatingGenius