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Women’s Guide to NYC Dating


Somehow, I ended up seeing this article by Richard Florida about the singles scene and it had this really interesting map on it, which got me thinking about supply & demand:

Fortunately for meeeeee, NYC happens to be THE PLACE TO BE with an excess of females to the tune of 210,820 more single women than men! :D

Sucks to be YOU if you live in Los Angeles, where the map indicates there are 89,459 more single men than women. Ah well… C’est La Vie! :D

This is one of the reasons why the stuff I talk about doesn’t apply to everyone. Life just isn’t fair! :D You can’t throw a rock in NYC without… well… you know what I mean… with numbers like that, there are literally tens of thousands of surplus GOOD-LOOKING chicks in this town. And that’s only the women that IDENTIFIED THEMSELVES as single.

So the supply of men here is short, so the demand by women is higher… Or, to think about that another way, there are too many women here for them to gain any leverage. This means that guys in New York get to “act the fool”, and for every woman that decides she’s not going to date you, there are like 3 more within eyeshot that are waiting to meet you as soon as this chick gets out of their way. :D

So… What can the ladies do to improve their chances at scoring a date in NYC?

1) Be a nice person. This isn’t Los Angeles. You’re not in demand. WE are! :D There’s no reason to play the stuck up role or try to ignore a brotha like he just asked you for change so he can get something to eat. If his presentation is proper, and he steps to you respectfully, consider at least acknowledging his presence. Yes… We know he’s trying to have sex with you regardless of what he says, but at least give the guy some credit for being a gentleman about it.

2) Have interesting things to say. A lot of women skate through life on their looks and are never required to be decent people or have a charming, intelligent personality. Separate yourself from the crowd by knowing something about something USEFUL… like football! :D Know something about the stock market or motorcycles or tech gadgets. Come up with SOMETHING so the guy sees you as someone cool and interesting and not just a target. Women are always complaining about being seen as “sex objects”. You know how to avoid that? Show him there’s more he can do with you or talk to you about than sex.

3) Eat when you go out to a restaurant. You know what I mean, too. Not just a salad when you’re sitting there staring at my cheeseburger, “hungry than a mug”. What you eat right now is NOT going to make you look any different. You’re not going to look slimmer with a piece of lettuce at the end of your fork or holding a stalk of celery. It’s already apparent that you like to “get your eat on”, so DO YOU! Go for what you know! Order more than your date does and scarf it down. Get that napkin, tap the corners of your lips and ask him what’s for dessert!

We know damned well that AS SOON AS y’all leave us, you scramble to the nearest restaurant to stuff your faces, so you’re better off keeping it REAL. He’ll respect you for that.

4) Be athletic. Yes, there are lots of guys that like women with no muscle tone. There are also guys that like athletic women. Why is that? Because you can actually DO THINGS WITH THEM! You know why you don’t get invited to the batting cages?… Because YOU CAN’T BAT! Same thing for the Jiu-Jitsu class and when he goes to play roller hockey or ultimate frisbee in the park. This isn’t the 1930’s, with the guys all on the football field and the ladies sitting together in a bunch on a bench under a tree fixing cold cut sandwiches for lunch. Nope. Pick up that football and step on the field. Go for that 5-and-across and burn your date for the winning touchdown! :D Let him know what time it is. Trust me. His friends will buy YOU more beers than they’ll buy for HIM after the game!

5) Last, but certainly not least… Actually, probably the most important…

LOOK GOOD!

Look good. You would be surprised, out of our NYC surplus of 210,820 women, HOW MANY OF THEM schlep around town in an appalling state of disrepair. :( Somebody lied to y’all and told you that you could look like anything and still get raps. Nope. Not THIS day and time, my sistah! If you want to look bad and still get attention, move to L.A. or anywhere with one of those large BLUE dots. NYC isn’t for you. In fact, according to that map, there’s no place for you on the entire Eastern Seaboard. You’d better go visit Prince in Minneapolis! See if he’ll sing you a song or something, ’cause you’re done around these parts.

Don’t worry about whether a guy’s going to buy you a drink at the club… YOU have to worry about GETTING IN the club to begin with. Paying off the bouncer might work… Anyway… Stop being lazy. Accentuate the positive & play down the negative. Stop dressing like a beatnik and carry yourself like the successful businesswoman you are. Stop getting haircuts because you saw it in a magazine if it doesn’t work with YOUR face. Hit that gym on a regular basis. Do whatever you have to do to catch a guy’s eye, because if you don’t…..

There are 210,819 women ready to steal YOUR man. :D

DatingGenius


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Reader Comments

Love this topic. But, one thing to ask?

“Single” could be “single by choice”. May not mean “eligible” or “available.” Are you saying that ALL those gorgeous women I seen when I lived on the EastCoast were “available”?

But, this article could explain the “Sex in the City” show.

Good point, Derek… about “single by choice”. However, that makes it a guy’s responsibility to make the woman choose HIM over being single.

Also, her being single doesn’t mean a guy can’t get on. It just means you still don’t have a so-called “relationship” with her after doing the deed. :)

As far as “Sex and the City” (the series, not the movie), Carrie’s problem was that she was chasing “Mr. Big” but never realized she was expendable. NYC is the capitol of the planet. :D We probably have women from every single country here, hahaha

It’s one thing for her to get him to mess with her. It’s an entirely different ballgame to try to get him to NOT mess with other chicks. Having money, looks and opportunity, why should he choose?

Hey, the chicks look good in LA LOL.

Odd tho, I get way more raps in NYC than I do in LA. It should be the other way around, right? Maybe the NYC heads sense my Cali glow.

Alas, Bill, I brought sand to the beach when I lived in NJ. I’ll just have to take your words for it. ;-)

Women have to be tougher to live in the east coast than the west. Maybe they like the challange of getting men also.

[...] good looking girls per capita… it’s merely by population density. As I mentioned in the women’s guide to NYC dating, NYC happens to be THE PLACE TO BE with an excess of females to the tune of 210,820 more single [...]

[...] Read this awesome post by Bill Cammack on a Woman’s Guide to NYC. [...]

Awesome article. It’s a shame though, because I know nobody will use that great advice :)

Thanks Ian. :)

‘Tis true. Around here, the song remains the same. Supply and demand is not in the women’s favor around here, but a lot of them still act like it is. It’s only *their* loss when guys don’t want to kick it with them because of how they carry themselves.

PS - Thanks, Lindsey, for the reblog haha ;)

[...] as if what they’re doing has ANY meaning, whatsoever. I was hanging out with one of the 210,820 extra chicks in this town last night, and, as usual, there were numerous packs of 3-5 chicks scampering around the city from [...]

[...] or thought. I might use other people’s material as a foundation for what MY point is, like in Women’s Guide to NYC Dating, but I make a CLEAR distinction between what someone else posted and what’s coming directly [...]

For those that troll the internet for fast, easy hook-ups, NYC has by far anything and everything to be had sexually…even depravity. However, for those of us who truly want to find a lasting mate to share life with, relate to, to feel comfortable and safe with, NYC is virtually a cesspool of players, liars and sex exploiters. These men lurk on conventional dating sites as well, not to mention the alternative sex sites that are cropping up all over the place. I had an experience that has left me scarred. We met on a site while he was in LA…started out as long-distance. He explained his desires as being mutual for a long-lasting relationship, mentioning all the niceties that a woman wants to hear. Sharing, similar goals, etc. We chatted every few days, then daily. This went on for 3 months. He was BRITISH, in the fashion business and traveled extensively around the world and seemed sincere. ALOT of text messaging every day…how impersonal. We finally agreed he come to me in Denver. He initiated the conversation about getting tested for STDs. It was too good to be true…we had SO much in common. All seemed glorious. It was VERY clear he had much sexual experience. Another 3 months of daily communicating and I agreed to see him in NYC. When I arrived tho, he seemed extremely nervous. My instincts by this time were becoming louder. I had already experienced the gut feelings and little red flags, but when endorphins take over, the brain gets muddled. That weekend in NYC, I found out purely by accident, he had a daughter in London and he was a fetishist. This was clearly not what I signed up for…so watch out and be safe…lying freaks in NYC are plentiful!

Thanks for the comment, nycmaiden.

I’ve yet to post about “online dating”, because it’s clearly THE WORST! There’s no reason AT ALL someone that types to you on a keyboard or sends text messages to you would necessarily feel any goodwill towards you whatsoever. There’s no real connection between you. Also, there’s no sense of potential loss. If they mess up the rap to you… who cares? They’re kicking it to at least 20 other chicks anyway and whatever pans out pans out.

The best bet in dating is to date people who friends of yours already know. Checks & Balances. That way, if the person’s a jerk, your friends can tell you so off the bat. Also, they’re less likely to cross personal boundaries of yours because besides not getting on with YOU again, they lose face in front of their friends that know you and the rest of their community.

NYC isn’t just a haven for freaks and liars. It’a a haven for ACTORS. There are a lot of people here who try to live into roles that aren’t natural to them. Unfortunately, the only way to tell what’s what is to hang out with someone and find out what they’re really like.

Don’t believe all that you heard
Or half of what you see
It’s a waste of time
To criticize
Don’t De-Rock ME! :D
~Tesla

[...] there were a bunch of unattractive females with lame personalities = you lose business. There are literally too many extra women in this town to interact with unintelligent or crabby females…. 210,820 extra, to be [...]