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Women’s Guide to NYC Dating
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Somehow, I ended up seeing this article by Richard Florida about the singles scene and it had this really interesting map on it, which got me thinking about supply & demand:
Fortunately for meeeeee, NYC happens to be THE PLACE TO BE with an excess of females to the tune of 210,820 more single women than men! :D
Sucks to be YOU if you live in Los Angeles, where the map indicates there are 89,459 more single men than women. Ah well… C’est La Vie! :D
This is one of the reasons why the stuff I talk about doesn’t apply to everyone. Life just isn’t fair! :D You can’t throw a rock in NYC without… well… you know what I mean… with numbers like that, there are literally tens of thousands of surplus GOOD-LOOKING chicks in this town. And that’s only the women that IDENTIFIED THEMSELVES as single.
So the supply of men here is short, so the demand by women is higher… Or, to think about that another way, there are too many women here for them to gain any leverage. This means that guys in New York get to “act the fool”, and for every woman that decides she’s not going to date you, there are like 3 more within eyeshot that are waiting to meet you as soon as this chick gets out of their way. :D
So… What can the ladies do to improve their chances at scoring a date in NYC?
1) Be a nice person. This isn’t Los Angeles. You’re not in demand. WE are! :D There’s no reason to play the stuck up role or try to ignore a brotha like he just asked you for change so he can get something to eat. If his presentation is proper, and he steps to you respectfully, consider at least acknowledging his presence. Yes… We know he’s trying to have sex with you regardless of what he says, but at least give the guy some credit for being a gentleman about it.
2) Have interesting things to say. A lot of women skate through life on their looks and are never required to be decent people or have a charming, intelligent personality. Separate yourself from the crowd by knowing something about something USEFUL… like football! :D Know something about the stock market or motorcycles or tech gadgets. Come up with SOMETHING so the guy sees you as someone cool and interesting and not just a target. Women are always complaining about being seen as “sex objects”. You know how to avoid that? Show him there’s more he can do with you or talk to you about than sex.
3) Eat when you go out to a restaurant. You know what I mean, too. Not just a salad when you’re sitting there staring at my cheeseburger, “hungry than a mug”. What you eat right now is NOT going to make you look any different. You’re not going to look slimmer with a piece of lettuce at the end of your fork or holding a stalk of celery. It’s already apparent that you like to “get your eat on”, so DO YOU! Go for what you know! Order more than your date does and scarf it down. Get that napkin, tap the corners of your lips and ask him what’s for dessert!
We know damned well that AS SOON AS y’all leave us, you scramble to the nearest restaurant to stuff your faces, so you’re better off keeping it REAL. He’ll respect you for that.
4) Be athletic. Yes, there are lots of guys that like women with no muscle tone. There are also guys that like athletic women. Why is that? Because you can actually DO THINGS WITH THEM! You know why you don’t get invited to the batting cages?… Because YOU CAN’T BAT! Same thing for the Jiu-Jitsu class and when he goes to play roller hockey or ultimate frisbee in the park. This isn’t the 1930’s, with the guys all on the football field and the ladies sitting together in a bunch on a bench under a tree fixing cold cut sandwiches for lunch. Nope. Pick up that football and step on the field. Go for that 5-and-across and burn your date for the winning touchdown! :D Let him know what time it is. Trust me. His friends will buy YOU more beers than they’ll buy for HIM after the game!
5) Last, but certainly not least… Actually, probably the most important…
LOOK GOOD!
Look good. You would be surprised, out of our NYC surplus of 210,820 women, HOW MANY OF THEM schlep around town in an appalling state of disrepair. :( Somebody lied to y’all and told you that you could look like anything and still get raps. Nope. Not THIS day and time, my sistah! If you want to look bad and still get attention, move to L.A. or anywhere with one of those large BLUE dots. NYC isn’t for you. In fact, according to that map, there’s no place for you on the entire Eastern Seaboard. You’d better go visit Prince in Minneapolis! See if he’ll sing you a song or something, ’cause you’re done around these parts.
Don’t worry about whether a guy’s going to buy you a drink at the club… YOU have to worry about GETTING IN the club to begin with. Paying off the bouncer might work… Anyway… Stop being lazy. Accentuate the positive & play down the negative. Stop dressing like a beatnik and carry yourself like the successful businesswoman you are. Stop getting haircuts because you saw it in a magazine if it doesn’t work with YOUR face. Hit that gym on a regular basis. Do whatever you have to do to catch a guy’s eye, because if you don’t…..
There are 210,819 women ready to steal YOUR man. :D
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38 Responses to “Women’s Guide to NYC Dating”
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Love this topic. But, one thing to ask?
“Single” could be “single by choice”. May not mean “eligible” or “available.” Are you saying that ALL those gorgeous women I seen when I lived on the EastCoast were “available”?
But, this article could explain the “Sex in the City” show.
Good point, Derek… about “single by choice”. However, that makes it a guy’s responsibility to make the woman choose HIM over being single.
Also, her being single doesn’t mean a guy can’t get on. It just means you still don’t have a so-called “relationship” with her after doing the deed. :)
As far as “Sex and the City” (the series, not the movie), Carrie’s problem was that she was chasing “Mr. Big” but never realized she was expendable. NYC is the capitol of the planet. :D We probably have women from every single country here, hahaha
It’s one thing for her to get him to mess with her. It’s an entirely different ballgame to try to get him to NOT mess with other chicks. Having money, looks and opportunity, why should he choose?
Hey, the chicks look good in LA LOL.
Odd tho, I get way more raps in NYC than I do in LA. It should be the other way around, right? Maybe the NYC heads sense my Cali glow.
Alas, Bill, I brought sand to the beach when I lived in NJ. I’ll just have to take your words for it. ;-)
Women have to be tougher to live in the east coast than the west. Maybe they like the challange of getting men also.
[...] good looking girls per capita… it’s merely by population density. As I mentioned in the women’s guide to NYC dating, NYC happens to be THE PLACE TO BE with an excess of females to the tune of 210,820 more single [...]
[...] Read this awesome post by Bill Cammack on a Woman’s Guide to NYC. [...]
Awesome article. It’s a shame though, because I know nobody will use that great advice :)
Thanks Ian. :)
‘Tis true. Around here, the song remains the same. Supply and demand is not in the women’s favor around here, but a lot of them still act like it is. It’s only *their* loss when guys don’t want to kick it with them because of how they carry themselves.
PS – Thanks, Lindsey, for the reblog haha ;)
[...] as if what they’re doing has ANY meaning, whatsoever. I was hanging out with one of the 210,820 extra chicks in this town last night, and, as usual, there were numerous packs of 3-5 chicks scampering around the city from [...]
[...] or thought. I might use other people’s material as a foundation for what MY point is, like in Women’s Guide to NYC Dating, but I make a CLEAR distinction between what someone else posted and what’s coming directly [...]
For those that troll the internet for fast, easy hook-ups, NYC has by far anything and everything to be had sexually…even depravity. However, for those of us who truly want to find a lasting mate to share life with, relate to, to feel comfortable and safe with, NYC is virtually a cesspool of players, liars and sex exploiters. These men lurk on conventional dating sites as well, not to mention the alternative sex sites that are cropping up all over the place. I had an experience that has left me scarred. We met on a site while he was in LA…started out as long-distance. He explained his desires as being mutual for a long-lasting relationship, mentioning all the niceties that a woman wants to hear. Sharing, similar goals, etc. We chatted every few days, then daily. This went on for 3 months. He was BRITISH, in the fashion business and traveled extensively around the world and seemed sincere. ALOT of text messaging every day…how impersonal. We finally agreed he come to me in Denver. He initiated the conversation about getting tested for STDs. It was too good to be true…we had SO much in common. All seemed glorious. It was VERY clear he had much sexual experience. Another 3 months of daily communicating and I agreed to see him in NYC. When I arrived tho, he seemed extremely nervous. My instincts by this time were becoming louder. I had already experienced the gut feelings and little red flags, but when endorphins take over, the brain gets muddled. That weekend in NYC, I found out purely by accident, he had a daughter in London and he was a fetishist. This was clearly not what I signed up for…so watch out and be safe…lying freaks in NYC are plentiful!
Thanks for the comment, nycmaiden.
I’ve yet to post about “online dating”, because it’s clearly THE WORST! There’s no reason AT ALL someone that types to you on a keyboard or sends text messages to you would necessarily feel any goodwill towards you whatsoever. There’s no real connection between you. Also, there’s no sense of potential loss. If they mess up the rap to you… who cares? They’re kicking it to at least 20 other chicks anyway and whatever pans out pans out.
The best bet in dating is to date people who friends of yours already know. Checks & Balances. That way, if the person’s a jerk, your friends can tell you so off the bat. Also, they’re less likely to cross personal boundaries of yours because besides not getting on with YOU again, they lose face in front of their friends that know you and the rest of their community.
NYC isn’t just a haven for freaks and liars. It’a a haven for ACTORS. There are a lot of people here who try to live into roles that aren’t natural to them. Unfortunately, the only way to tell what’s what is to hang out with someone and find out what they’re really like.
Don’t believe all that you heard
Or half of what you see
It’s a waste of time
To criticize
Don’t De-Rock ME! :D
~Tesla
[...] there were a bunch of unattractive females with lame personalities = you lose business. There are literally too many extra women in this town to interact with unintelligent or crabby females…. 210,820 extra, to be [...]
[...] an endless supply of chicks in this town. By one report, there are 210,820 excess single women in NYC. This means that when it comes to kicking game, women are completely expendable. You can ruin a rap [...]
Great article, Bill! You’re so right about looks – what a shame people don’t get that if the secret to a great love life, (ahem – correction) to a great life, is going out with an attitude of “What can I give?” not “What’s in it for me?”
So many men & women wait for love by playing the “when/then game” – that’s “When someone gorgeous finds me, THEN I’ll look great.”
It doesn’t work that way – as you beautifully pointed out!
Hope someone listens to ya!
Trev.
Thanks Trevor. :)
hmmmmm… That’s a great concept… “The when/then game”. That totally makes sense.
It also comes into play when people are currently IN relationships and “let themselves go”. They think that when they get back out on the market, they’re the same hot property they were when they got scooped up, but they’ve made it magnitudes tougher on themselves to get people’s attention because they look so horrible now, which is part of the reason they’re getting dumped in the first place. :)
Dude – have you seen this map?
http://www.xoxosoma.com/singles/?n=0&x=9&a=1
It sort of blows away every thing you have said here. I’m not looking to burst your bubble or make you feel bad but I’m curious what your comments are?
In fact the map I added actually was built based on the mistakes of the map you are referring to.
What it says is that all of these women you are talking about being single are actually 45 or older with most of them being in their 60s.
Here are my comments about the interactive map, “Ford”. Thanks. :D
[...] “Ford” left a comment on my “Women’s Guide to NYC Dating” and pointed out an interesting article by [...]
There may be statistically more women…but, they tend to be fat and butt ugly. What you should do is compare the amount of horny males to actual, good looking, available women. Then, you’ll realize that men clearly out number this group. This city tends to attract very LARGE females. They think that because the buildings are so big that maybe their 250 lb. bodies won’t appear quite so out of place. Also, there are a lot of uneducated males in this city. So, basically you have a very large category of sub human animal species. You’d have to incorporate that into your statistical bin as well. In the end there are very FEW intelligent, good looking males & females. The rest are simply a cess pool of humanity called “New York City”. Oh, you think I’m wrong about this? Ever been to jury duty? How about the INS building? You can look back a million years into some of those faces.
Jett! I have never laughed so hard in my life. I can’t agree completely since I have lived in both the East Village, SoHo/Chinatown border / and now on the UES- they women that walk around all appear to be between 25 and 35 and are super good looking, thin, smart…. it’s endless. However, I still meet tons of women with unrealistic standards who are not very nice. Do you have a blog Jett?!?!?
Hey Jett, E.H…. I could have sworn I already replied to this.
The point isn’t how good looking the women are. Granted, NYC has a very low percentage of good-looking women, but that doesn’t matter because there are so many of them. The market’s virtually flooded.
For this reason, there’s no reason to chase a better-looking chick to try to get something a few weeks from now that a less-attractive chick will do for you right now.
They’re all in competition with each other, which is why “Nice Gals Finish First!” :D
[...] one single girl for every one single guy in NYC…. Now, on to the quality issues: Jett: “There may be statistically more women…but, they tend to be fat and butt ugly. What you [...]
[...] ruining your opportunities. I keep saying, and people keep trying to dispute that there are too many available, attractive women in New York City for y’all to be slackin’ in the looks department and think you’re going to catch [...]
[...] I woke up this morning thinking about this song, because for me, it exemplifies the mercenary nature of dating in New York City. [...]
[...] we’ve discussed before, there are literally hundreds of thousands of women on the NYC dating scene. You can’t “throw a rock” without hitting a chick you might like to hook up with [...]
Bill you won’t get a quality woman in NY that’s for sure… you can’t even spell
First of all, ANONYMOUS PERSON… :D
I’ve never, *EVER* been subjected to a spelling test by a female in my entire life, and I don’t know ANYONE who ever has, so your argument is retarded. :)
Second, please feel free to inform me of anything I’ve misspelled haha Thanks for the free typographical error proofreading.
Third, don’t try to count my Twitter account, because if you see “RT” in front of what I posted, that means I’m only copying what someone else wrote, so I won’t accept ANY responsibility for someone else’s illiteracy. :D
Wow, “never”? Then you haven’t met that many women. :)
How many times have *YOU* been quizzed on spelling by a chick you wanted to bang? Zero. That’s how many. Stop being a clown. :) If you have something relevant to add, do it.
Thanks for the comments :)
Much sooner than later women in NY realize that guys in NY are the lowest on the global totem pole.
Hi Bill,
to add my two cents to this spelling discussion: When I was looking for a dancepartner via the internet, first of all I eliminated all candidates who could not spell properly. One of them spelled the word “jive” like this: “chive”. Deleted his e-mail right away, even though he had the right height and lived nearby. I don’t like to hang out with retarded people.
And one of the things I find attractive about you – even though we have never met and probably never will – is your writing style and the fact that you spell better than most of your commenters.
But then again, I am a geek chick, so my opinion might not be representative….. :-)
Hmm… I heard that both Bill Gates and Kevin Rose were bad spellers. Oh, well.
That’s probably true, Derek :D
However, both Bill Gates (I can’t believe you actually mentioned that OTHER Bill on MY blog! :O hahaha What’s next? Somebody brings up Clinton too?) and Kevin Rose are…. RICH.
The original comment by the troll was that I wouldn’t be able to get a quality woman in NYC (I’ll add the C for them, because they probably don’t realize that NY indicates New York, which means the entire state, including the sticks) because I can’t spell. That’s DOUBLE-RETARDED, because first of all, I spell perfectly well 99.9999999998799% of the time, and second of all, when you meet chicks on the fly that have no access to your Social Media where you’ve spelled things on the net for years, there’s no way they can judge you on your spelling, and I have NEVAR (hehe) been asked by a single chick in my entire life… NOT ONE… whether I can spell or not. However, that’s normally because if a chick wants to know something like that, the first thing she’s going to ask is what school I went to and then when she hears the list, including MIT, she gets the clue that I’m probably smarter than most of the guys she’s messed with in her entire life, so whatever erotic fantasies she had of giving me spelling tests go right out the window.
So, while I see what your argument is.. Nobody cares whether Rose or Gates can spell. However, you DO bring up a very interesting question.. Whether a chick wouldn’t date a rich, popular guy because she read his personal blog and he was functionally illiterate. Like I said to Fishingrod, I (and most guys) have the luxury of not caring whether a chick can spell or not as far as bootie-call status, but a chick isn’t going to get any kind of leadership position with me if I don’t consider her SOMEWHERE CLOSE to my level of intelligence, or at least, if not intelligence, DILIGENCE in school!
Actually, I rather enjoy hanging out with women that I consider to be smarter than I am, or at least more dedicated to something than I am to the degree that they’ve done their studies and research and know way more about that topic than I do. It’s an incredibly different experience from talking to a chick like a bat and watching your voice echo off her face, because she has nothing to say because she didn’t understand anything you’ve said for the last five minutes. :D
@Fishingrod: haha Thanks for the two cents! :D
The thing that’s so stupid about that troll’s statement is that I’m virtually impeccable when it comes to spelling. That’s because I hate dummies just as much as you do. It’s a complete turnoff. It’s like “did you go to school past the first grade?” I just can’t take it.
Yet and still, I was willing to entertain the troll’s comment out of respect for the fact that he or she came to my blog and commented. I know what they’re saying is ridiculous, because percentage-wise, out of all the things I’ve written, my spelling error percentage is ZERO. Also, when I DO make mistakes….. they’re MISTAKES, so if they’re pointed out to me, I’ll thank the person, correct it and hopefully not make the same mistake again. It was clear that that clown was trolling, so I didn’t bother to hand out this explanation.
There are things I misspell intentionally, such as fellaz, but that’s attempting to print slang. That’s spelling words that don’t exist, not misspelling words that do.
The funny thing is, now that you bring up what you said, I hadn’t considered VISUALLY being tested for spelling. You’re absolutely right. I’m sure I’ve been ‘graded’ on my spelling by women that have come here and read my material for the past two years. I do the same thing. If a chick doesn’t know the difference between there & their or who’s and whose or your & you’re, they go right in the mental garbage can as far as dating.
Luckily for me, I’m a guy, so I have the luxury of not giving a damn whether a chick is smart or not as long as she looks good. Women don’t have it that easy, because y’all are (subconsciously or not) looking for guys to have kids with and, by nature, y’all know that it’s better for your kids to inject yourself with intelligent genes instead of producing kids that will most likely be dumber than you currently are. This is why I advocated for y’all to only date guys better than you are.
Dating Dummies is a major mistake, however, for guys as well. It all depends on how much you’re going to depend on her to do ANYTHING other than cook and have sex. Same thing goes for dating liars. I’m going to get into this at length, probably next week, because I’ve been working on a project recently that got its delivery date pushed up HALF A MONTH, and I should finally be done with it later tonight, so I can get back to writing.
So, Fishingrod.. Thanks to your INTELLIGENT comments about the topic, I have a new topic to write about.. “Are you being tested via your Social Media?”.
Thank You! :D
For such a surplus of women in NYC they certainly not the friendliest human beings around. If you dont work with them they really dont want to be bothered with you. I dont see them being very attractive either. Go to other big cities and youll see alot more attractive women whom you have a better shot at.
Absolutely true, Joe.. On both counts! :D
NYC doesn’t have a high PERCENTAGE of attractive women… It’s just that with MILLIONS of women in this area, even a low percentage of hawt chicks is going to yield an infinite supply… Especially when you add in migrants and tourists.
They’re not friendly because they don’t see any need to be. They’re all hanging on to this pipe dream of landing this incredible guy that actually doesn’t exist en masse in NYC. If you don’t appear to live up to those standards in their estimation, you “gets no love” from them.
Having said that, they’re also not friendly because guys are trying to kick it to them all day every day. By the time you try to talk to them as a nice guy, a thousand other guys have already approached them with the “nice guy” style and eventually revealed that they were mainly trying to get laid. NYC Chicks have too many interactions like this and eventually don’t want to hear JACK from ANY guys at all.. Unless, like you said, you work with them or they know you through other people.
[...] to New York City, where MILLIONS of people live, and according to disputed reports, there are 210,820 more single women than men, and it just so happens that you sit down on a couch inside a studio with SECURITY, where nobody [...]