Don’t get me started on how rude and spoiled people are who *come* here (no offense to you, tatiana, Im mostly thinking of the men who vacation here or even the bridge and tunnel crowd who treat Manhattan like a college campus). My family has been in NYC for nearly a century, working, socializing, getting married and raising children. It just shouldn’t be that hard. I’m trying to get my mom to move down here when she retires…with the recession everyone in my family has been pretty much priced out and left with a generally bad taste in their mouths regarding the homeland of our ancestry. Well, I guess it’s time to move on right..

The trouble with this premise is that it presupposes that whether or not men are seeking relationships to begin with is simply due to the availability of hot chicks. While the statistics may be part of it (hell it’s hard for *me* to keep looking at my boyfriend sometimes when I’m overrun with young male hotties everywhere! Oh MAN is it nice to have the tables turned!) — I have a sense that alot of how men view relationships has to do also with other aspects of their environment, upbringing and individual psychology. What they learned to expect, their previous experiences and how they’ve learned to view women in general. Many men have friends who are married, or sisters and try to act in a way that would be fair to them, and are taught to treat women a certain way since they were children, and many of them try hard to keep us happy so we don’t cheat on *them*. It also has to do with how you vibe with that person, how happy you are with them and how great your connection is. It’s only logical to expect that psychology plays a part in how willing men are to commit; to discount this is the height of denial.

Other women have brought up this point, and I will again assert that not all men are the exact same. This is pretty misandrous and I don’t buy it anymore than *all* women always love babies and romantic comedies and doing our nails while chatting about how Heidi Montag ruined her looks. Personally I’d rather kill myself. Sure I like dressing up and doing my hair but give me a book about mushrooms or a Nova episode about the ancient Mayans and I’m happy. Neither men nor women are entirely the same, not even about our sexuality or romantic desires. Some of us even *gasp!* care about having a partner!!!!!

My boyfriend actually hasn’t dated in years, and had some qualms about ‘committing’ after being hurt a long time ago, but look how easily he fell into it after meeting me, as long as we were moving a bit slow at first. Maybe he didn’t have any interest in sleeping around with random women, maybe he’s careful and responsible, maybe he’s sensitive…maybe he sensed that I’m not going to abandon him….maybe because we’re very compatible??

Susan’s experiences speak to my points in the article.

You don’t HAVE to move out of NYC to get a boyfriend, but you do have to realize that if you’re here, you’re in MAJOR competition with every gal in the same train car with you.. every cal in the other 9 train cars, every gal on every other train in the city, every gal waiting on the platform, every gal on the bus, every gal in every McDonald’s or Wendy’s…

Like you said.. your homegirls are HAWT and they’re 24 years old. Anywhere else in the country (other than Los Angeles, from what I’ve heard), y’all should all be ballin’.

Personally.. I can’t walk to the corner store without seeing a chick that I’d hook up with. What’s the point in telling some gal that you’re in an exclusive relationship with her?

I mean, you can do it.. You can lie to her and tell her she’s your girlfriend and keep living the single life like you always were, but I’m talking about ACTUAL commitment. Like, ACTUALLY not messing with other chicks.

As hot as you and your friends are, there are hotter chicks right down the street from you. There are richer chicks right down the street. There are chicks that do more sexually than you do right down the street. The only thing that’s going to get a guy to commit to you is going to be your personality and how your mind works.

You can’t offer him *ANYTHING* that he can’t get from the chick sitting next to you on the subway… And I’m talking about Herbs. I’m not even talking about guys that can pull women at will.

If you’re willing to give it up on the fourth date, http://billcammack.com/2010/02/26/is-sex-expected-on-the-fourth-date/ there’s a gal that’s willing to give it up on the third. There’s a gal that’s DTF as soon as she meets him, which we witnessed when Jersey Shore used to be worth watching.

Dudes will nod in your face and act like they’re going to wait for you to decide to get with the program, but we’re not. We’re going to do whatever we want while we wait for you to come around. By the time you elect to do that, you already gave up your high position on the totem pole.

It’s the same thing for guys, really. Women know there are so many guys in this town that they don’t have to deal with guys that don’t meet their “extremely high expectations”.

Eventually, y’all have to decide whether you want to be single with a dream or in a relationship with a guy that kicked it to you that you considered sub-par.

Does it EVER work out that a gal in NYC lands exactly the type of guy she wants for an EXCLUSIVE relationship? Sure. The odds are severely against it, however, unless you’re demonstrating some type of unique personality traits that cause him to feel like giving up his infinite opportunities with the millions of other women here.