Now I’m wondering what the best way is for a girl to get feedback on what she could improve about her appearance. I think a lot of guys can identify what they like, but how do you get them to tell you what you should be doing if you’re not (if they even know), or even to be honest with you in the first place?

I’m always trying to improve, and I’m wondering how you can go about getting some real feedback about things you can change (no stuff like your eyes are too close together or your torso is short, for example). But I’m talking hairstyle, body, clothing, accessories, makeup, etc. What do you recommend?

I agree entirely with your “bar of attractiveness” idea. If a chick doesn’t have the right look, she doesn’t show up on the radar at all.

My only tactic for less-attractive females is to be introduced through friends. You’re right that they can’t go to a bar and “Mother Teresa” their way into a guy being interested in them.

Basically, they have to act like dudes and back-door their way in. Guys become friends with girls that are “out of their league”, hoping to make their mark on her and have her see that even though he’s a 5, he’s funny and he has a kind heart and excellent earning potential… Sometimes, those guys get lucky and score a date or even a girlfriend out of the situation.

That’s my point for women in this town. There are too many women that look just like you or better than you and guys are going to be all over them just like they’re all over you, if not more so. The differentiator’s going to be your way of being, not your looks, and CERTAINLY not scarcity of females in NYC like you might enjoy in the sticks, where you, Suzie Mae and Betty Jean are the only three attractive chicks for the entire male population to select from.

As you’ve said.. Being a 10 definitely gives you more options AND makes you way more of a target. I may never forget this one time I saw this dude with this chick and I was like WOW!!! I *KNOW* HE PAID FOR *THAT*!!! :D haha I mean the chick was clearly at least an escort and probably an actual hooker.

The reason I mention that is that top-level chicks are seen as hard to hold, because guys are always going to be coming after your girl and there’s no reason for her to turn down free stuff from every single guy that wants to do something for her, buy her something or take her somewhere. Chicks like that, you have fun with them while you can afford it and then when you can’t, it’s over and it’s good memories.. not meaning hookers, meaning insanely-attractive gals that are eventually going to sell out for something more than you’re offering them.

As far as the guy being a 5 and trying to pull a 9, that’s where money comes in. Guys can offset their looks with perks. Cars, Apartments, Yachts, Money.. So long as you can still afford her and she’s the type of chick to give it up for money, you’re in there like Belvedere. And, Yes.. He would put up with a ton of garbage from her because nobody cares what she thinks, so long as he can still enjoy her physically & visually. It’s part of the payments for her services, like the actual money and gifts.

Of course women are missing femininity here. Society has spent the last X years trying to turn women into men (as well as men into women, but that’s a different topic), so nobody’s teaching women how to be LADIES! O_o

That’s actually another thing that will get a woman ahead in the game here.. That she enjoys being a woman and not some wannabe-dude. That’s one of the reasons why corporate chicks lose their boyfriends to minimum-wage burger-flipping females. The McDonald’s chick is bringing way more to the table visually, sensually and sexually. You can’t defeat that with a degree from a good college and massive earning potential.

I also agree with you that women tend to confuse hookups with beginnings of relationships. If he hit it, it’s because he felt like hittin’ it. It doesn’t mean he thinks anything of you as a person AT ALL, much less considering you to be his girlfriend, fiancee or wife. It also doesn’t mean you’re the only girl he had sex with this week or the only girl he had sex with TODAY.

I’ll also paraphrase one of your topics as “Women have a problem with being able to see themselves objectively with regard to their looks”. I find this amazing when I watch The Maury Show and there’s a girl sitting there that’s obviously a 2, if not a 1, and then she’s shocked and amazed to find out her man’s ******* other girls as often as humanly possible. Absolutely Amazing! :D

It’s like basically, unless the guy’s actually into you in particular, the only girls you can block are the ones LESS ATTRACTIVE THAN YOU ARE. You can’t even block equally-attractive girls like your twin sister. If your moms looks good, hide her too. :)

But yeah.. They completely overestimate their value in the dating market. You might be a pitcher for The Yankees, but that doesn’t make you the ONLY pitcher for The Yankees. That doesn’t even make you the BEST pitcher for The Yankees. Unfortunately, women are easily faked out by guys telling them that they’re in exclusive, monogamous relationships with them. It’s best for the gals’ egos to believe the guy’s telling the truth. It’s also best for her ego if she believes that her sex is better than the next woman’s and that she’s somehow got her man sprung and riding her bra strap.

Agreed that there’s no reason for women to date significantly downward, because the more attractive a gal is, the more stuff’s going to be thrown at her by every guy that sees her. As you pointed out, they’re not courting her for a romantic relationship.. They see some azz they’d like to tap, and they’re willing to pay whatever the cost is to make that happen. Unfortunately for hotter women, they’re seen as outside of the price range of a lot of nice guys and that just leaves the Hunters to come after them and see what they can do.

Overall, the deal is that there’s no reason whatsoever for a guy to be in a “relationship” unless he’s looking for a wife. If he IS looking for a wife, he’s going to attempt to select an extraordinary female, looks-wise AND personality-wise. Chicks that are below his visual bar don’t even count as chicks unless they can somehow become introduced to this guy and show him that they’re viable candidates and make up for their lack of looks in other ways.

The major mistake women make on this topic is that they think guys are looking for girlfriends to begin with. What do you need a girlfriend for if you have charisma and live in a town with literally a million females in it? So guys here are basically looking to have a good time and hook up with chicks. There are more girls in the next booth over. There are more girls in the bar next door. There are more girls in the pizza shop on the corner. There are more girls in the subway. There are more girls tomorrow and the day after that…

That’s why y’all have to depend on something other than looks if you want a guy to remember you and consider you a viable candidate *IF* he decides he wants a girlfriend at all.

The game where girls get left after they have sex happens more often to more attractive girls, because there’s much more chance that that’s all the guy was interested in in the first place. They also are more likely to get the assholes who think they’re entitled to everything under god’s green earth hitting on them (these guys are also very manipulative & charming, they pretend to be nice at first). Attractive girls get screwed over just as much, if not more, than unattractive girls if you don’t know how to play the game.

The vision is likely a lot clearer for you guys. You all want the 9s, but it’s a rare woman who will date significantly downward. Not a lot of gray area there, so guys know what they’re “worth” in a more concrete way.

That is to say I think a lot of women have a real problem with the cognitive dissonance of being desired sexually by just about every man, but only being relationship material with a small percentage. I think men’s standards for casual sex are quite low but they get pretty damn picky when it comes to relationships.

I have girlfriends that are like this — even extremely hot ones that you could classify as 10s. They’re hooking up with the best guy in New York or whatever, he’s got all the bells & whistles (smart, good looking, charismatic, wealthy, interesting, etc), and she doesn’t realize that since he is that good, why does he just want to be with her (ie, he’s priced out of the market for a relationship entirely)? The answer is that he doesn’t — he’s got Tiger Woods syndrome but is smart enough to realize he shouldn’t get tied down until he’s ready.

This would get me killed if I were to talk about it with my friends, who like deluding themselves, but do you think I’m right?

But I mean, of course guys aren’t just looking at your attractiveness. Once you pass that bar, the 8 and the 10 are essentially the same and the guy uses other things to evaluate how good you are on the relationship front: intelligence, character, etc. But being a 10 gives you more options (more guys that are initially interested) than being a 5, for example. And I think if the guy was pretty off in relation to a hot girl, he’d most likely put up with a lot of crap from her because she was further up the scale (like a 5 guy overall — looks, confidence, status, etc — dating a 9 girl). I think I’m pretty right on this, correct me though if you think I’m off.

I think one thing a lot of women are missing in this city is femininity, in my humble opinion. I am just as career-oriented as anyone else, but you have to turn that aggressiveness down a notch sometimes.