Why Are You Hiding Your Significant Other?

Richard Blakeley wrote a post for Boinkology.com called 5 Reasons New York City Is The Neverland Of Dating. I thought I’d add a few reasons why NYC is an especially good environment for guys. 😀

In his article, Richard writes:

“Here in New York City, there’s almost a stigma attached to people who actually have a boyfriend or girlfriend, as though you’re denying others of your partying time for your own selfish acts.”

This is absolutely true, and worth delaying the “list of positives” to talk about. There are too many people in NYC doing too many things. Too many people making lots of money. Too many people creating good art. Too many people that are ambitious. Too many people (by sheer numbers… not per capita) that are attractive. Too many people that go out to the nightlife scene. Too many bars. Too many opportunities… Choosing someone as a “significant other” speaks volumes about who you are as a person, or who you THINK you are… positively or negatively. Like Richard said, you’re denying others of your partying time in order to hand it over to this one person… whom you’re likely to be broken up with a few months from now anyway, but that’s a different post.

The question becomes “Why did she choose HIM?” or “I thought he had taste in women” or “I thought she had higher self-esteem than that”. Basically, whomever you choose, there’s someone “better” somwhere within a 5 block radius, because this is NYC. This leads to people either just not mentioning that they’re in a relationship at all (when they are) or selecting a Facebook status of “It’s Complicated”, which basically means “Yes, I have someone… but Yes, you still have a good chance of getting on”.

Speaking of Facebook, that’s another problem with declaring a SO. Once it’s over, you have to un-declare that person. Serial Monogamy being what it is, it’s just better policy to NOT MENTION when you’re messing with someone, so when it’s over, everything’s still status quo. So, yes… There’s definitely a stigma attached to claiming you have a BF or GF. You can HAVE THEM all you want. Just don’t bring them up in conversation. Don’t declare them on ANY social sites. Don’t have ANY pictures of them in circulation… at least “incriminating” ones.

Some people go to the length of hiding actual wives… Like women they went to a church and swore in front of a crowd of people that they were going to be faithful to this chick. It’s like if you’re friends with this person, you know they’re married, but their wife never shows up on the scene… EV*A*R. It’s like she’s a ghost or doesn’t really exist.

The reason to hide “significant others” in an environment with a high frequency of contact with attractive, available chicks is that there are lots of people who enjoy applying THEIR morals to YOUR life. All you need is some weasely chick whispering in her girlfriend’s ear that you have a girlfriend and jacking up your rap. On the other side of that, how many times have you requested information on a chick and what you receive is “oh… she has a boyfriend”. It’s like “Pay attention, stupid… that’s NOT what I asked you”. Then, they look at you all funny, as if “she has a boyfriend” is the only information they know about the chick. People tend to lose their abilities to remain objective and USEFUL when these boyfriend and girlfriend terms get thrown into the mix. It’s better for you to avoid that by keeping your personal business “out the street”.

Actually, this point stands on its own, so I’ll post MY list in “6 Reasons New York City Is The Neverland Of Dating (For Da Fellaz)”

Join the Conversation


  1. I think constantly talking about your significant other also just smacks of insecurity.

    I prefer to keep my private relationships private — if someone asks, I’ll talk about it, but there’s no point in broadcasting it to the world. I don’t need that kind of validation.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.