6 Reasons New York City Is The Neverland Of Dating (For Da Fellaz)

I intended to do this list about a week ago, but it turned into “Why Are You Hiding Your Significant Other?”. This time, I’m actually going to get to the list. 😀

Richard Blakeley wrote a post for Boinkology.com called 5 Reasons New York City Is The Neverland Of Dating. I thought I’d add a few reasons why NYC is an especially good environment for guys.

1) Too many good-looking girls

There are too many attractive women in NYC. There’s too much selection. There’s no reason to choose one, because there’s no particular benefit of one over the other…. Actually, it’s more accurate to say there’s no reason to select ONLY one, because while there are lots of great women here, that doesn’t mean that one trumps the entire rest of the set. The cream rises to the top, of course, so there certainly are women that distinguish themselves as unique and worthwhile, but in the meantime… game on! 😀

NYC doesn’t have too many good looking girls per capita… it’s merely by population density. As I mentioned in the women’s guide to NYC dating, NYC happens to be THE PLACE TO BE with an excess of females to the tune of 210,820 more single women than men! And that’s only those that declared themselves single. We’ll get to that later.

So let’s say that out of 200,000 extra women, there are maybe 40,000 that are physically attractive. Obviously, if you were fast enough to pull one new chick every single day, that would only be 365 chicks in a year, so on full tilt, there’s no way you would ever run through the entire selection of excess NYC females. Not even pulling two or THREE a day. And that’s only if the population remained static. We’ll get to that later.

Basically, the effect of this is that every time you go to an event in New York City, you will encounter at least one attractive woman you’ve never seen before. If you take mass transit, you won’t even make it to the event. There are women in the subways, women walking on the street, women in restaurants, eating… It’s not like this is the sticks, where there are a finite number of attractive chicks, and your goal in life is to select the best one and have kids with her.

This is why the only way for women to distinguish themselves is via PERSONALITY. Be interesting and unique and you have a chance to catch the eye of someone who’s looking for a special lady. Other than that… as hot as you might be, you’re also absolutely expendable. Go hang out outside a club if you don’t believe me. 🙂 If you want to find out how hot you’re NOT… go stand next to chicks that are absolutely on top of their game, looks-wise.

This brings us to reason #2…

2) Too many women with low self esteem

Being one of an extra 210,000 women isn’t a strong starting position. It’s even worse if you aren’t one of the (speculated unprofessionally by DatingGenius) 40,000 stunning women. This means that you get to go out to bars and buy your own drinks while all the guys trip over each other trying to buy drinks for the hotter chicks. This means that guys stand right next to you, plotting and scheming with each other on how they’re going to pull OTHER chicks, as if you’re not even there… or as if you’re one of the fellaz. This is a consistent blow to the self-esteem of these otherwise-viable chicks. Take the same women and drop them in Kansas or someplace, and they’d be the top dogs.

Unfortunately for them, NYC is graded on a curve. It’s not how good you look… It’s how good you look RELATIVE to the rest of the women in the room you’re currently in. This is why some chicks adopt the tactic of only hanging out with women that are less attractive than they are. They bring along their own posse to make them look better.

This is a great thing for guys in NYC, because it’s like you get a discount on perfectly attractive women that get bombarded daily with the fact that they’re less attractive than the top echelon. You don’t have to try as hard as, say, a guy in Los Angeles where there are fewer women to begin with and they’re generally better looking so you get more souped-up chicks that make you work to get a rap.

3) Turnover – Always more chicks

NYC does not have a static population. There’s crazy, crazy turnover. 😀 There are always chicks moving in and chicks moving out. Chicks changing neighborhoods. Chicks getting new jobs. Chicks being temporarily relocated for jobs. Even if the fellaz were stuck with our ~40,000 stunning chicks, we’d be cool, but there are always more being added. Chicks returning from college. Chicks that work in stores in the city where you have access to them. Chicks that start taking the subway instead of driving. Chicks that try the bar you frequent on a whim.

DatingGenius had this situation occur a couple of months ago where this chick brought around this other chick who was very attractive, and perfectly expendable. At some point, the expendable chick tried to convince me that I cared what she thought about me. I calmly and rationally explained to her that while I thought she was hot and I liked her as a person and had respect for her and her accomplishments, I couldn’t POSSIBLY give a DAMN what she thought about me, and I told her why.

In my existence, she was simply a SINGLE INSTANCE of a recurring situation. Including our three-hour knock-down, drag-out conversation, I had been introduced to her that very day, hung out with her for probably a total of five hours, then she was gone. Never to be seen or heard from again. That’s how we live. Turnover. I knew she wasn’t going to exist anymore later on that very day. Why in the world would I care what someone thinks that doesn’t exist? 🙂 I told her to her face what was going to happen after our conversation was over, and that’s exactly what happened. I never spoke to her again and never heard another story about her. Gone.

This one goes out to the one I love
This one goes out to the one I’ve left behind
A simple prop…to occupy my time
This one goes out to the one I love

4) Girls don’t go out with guys they’re attracted to, they go out with guys that will have them

So the first three points dealt with women that declared themselves as single. So what about the rest of them? What about the women that said they have boyfriends or whatever. First of all, due to Serial Monogamy, chicks are becoming available every single day. Relationships end in a split second, so the chick that had a boyfriend last week is single and available this week and is involved in a new Pair Bond next week. It’s a goof. If you catch a chick at the right time, she’s available. Period.

However, during the time that they’re Pair-Bonded (PBed), they’re still potentially available. It all depends on why they claim to be “spoken for” in the first place. In general, women in this town aren’t aware of how poor their odds are of exclusively hooking up with a guy they really want. Eventually, they begin to cascade through the levels…. there are too many good-looking women in this town… how does she match up to them?… how’s she going to get what she wants?… lower self-esteem… lower standards… selection of a boyfriend out of what she can get vs what she really wanted in the first place.

The result of this is that there are a lot of women who will tell you they have boyfriends for the purpose of a survey, but they’re simultaneously disgruntled and unsatisfied in their relationships. They don’t stop wanting what they wanted just because they settled for less. This is the grand opportunity for guys in NYC to borrow other guy’s women. It’s actually EASIER than pulling single women because the single chicks have announced themselves as available and have suitors coming out of the woodwork. “Spoken For” women have restricted themselves to some herb and actively block other guys from hooking up with them. It’s like being in the desert and refusing water when it’s offered to them.

Which brings us to reason #5…

5) Guys don’t know how to handle chicks

For the most part, guys have no idea why their women are with them. They pulled the chicks by luck to begin with (or because the chick cascaded into settling), and then they watch the television news for tips on what to buy her for valentine’s day. It’s not like these guys have any pull over their girls other than the fact that they verbally agreed with each other to be “in a relationship”.

This is another reason why the number of available women in NYC is higher than you’re going to find out from a suvey. Even if they’re in a relationship, they’re thinking for themselves and ready to trade up. I’m sure that every single day here, some guy’s girl breaks up with him out of the blue, and he has no idea why. Chicks are like that. They hold on to whatever they have until they’re certain they have something else, then they bounce. 🙂

So since none of these guys are working on improving their game AND their chicks probably weren’t physically attracted to them in the first place when they agreed to PB with them, we can add these non-enthralled chicks to the NYC dating pool.

6) Vacation Location

NYC is a vacation location. We all know “how women do” when they’re on vacation! 😉 That’s a post of its own… We have tourists coming to this town every single day = more turnover. They’re looking for fun and exciting things to do. They want to be out on the town and enjoying their time here. They want to mingle with and meet NYC people. Women come here strictly to shop. Women come here to go see Broadway plays. Women come here for business meetings and conferences.

So, on top of our extra 210,000 chicks, there’s an endless stream being imported/exported daily. There’s tons of mass transportation, so they’re easily accessible. The tourist spots remain packed from the mornings well into the evenings. Lots of non-American women to boot…. which is ALSO its own post. 🙂
So, including Richard’s five, now you have 11 reasons why New York City is the Neverland of Dating (for the fellaz) 😀 There’s no reason to select one chick AT ALL unless she completely rocks your world and you’d rather spend time with her day in and day out over the other 210,000+ available women in this town.

Join the Conversation


  1. I’m southern European and travel all over a lot. There’s one thing for sure – women in NYC tend to be a bit over the top, if I may say so. Not that there’s anything wrong with them; they just seem a bit too pushy in social situations. Then again, I could be wrong. It’s all a cultural thing, I guess.
    Love America, but Europe is my home. Wouldn’t trade our ways for anything.
    Hope no one takes me wrong on this. Cheers. Lovely site, by the way.

    1. Thanks for the comment and the compliment, Elena. 🙂

      I’m embarrassed that I missed this and am replying more than a year after you posted this. 😀

      Cheers! 😀

  2. hey, jack here. I just moved to NYC from FL and plan to go on dates to meet the many wonderful women of nyc. Give me a few more months, I’ll see if these 6 reasons hold up.

  3. Surplus women? What’s the average “age” of those extra women? 70 something? Due to more male children being born and men dying younger there’s actually a shortage of women in the younger age groups and shortage of men in older age groups. So unless you’ve got a granny fetish those extra women don’t mean much. Aggregate numbers are meaningless unless you do an age breakdown. Go to this webpage for a more accurate analysis:


    1. Thanks for the comment. 🙂

      To be fair, the fact that there’s so much turnover here trumps the rest of the factors. I would agree with you if we were dealing with a stagnant population, but NYC life isn’t for everyone and women move out all the time and new women move in.

      The ones that move here are coming for school or to try to make it in business or to try to live like they see in the movies like Sex & The City. The new chicks are in their low-to-mid 20s and remain viable until around 38, depending on genes, how they take care of themselves and whether life here runs them into the ground or not.

      So, while I statistically understand and agree with what you’re saying, the fact remains that there are TONS of chicks in their 20s and 30s wandering around NYC aimlessly with nothing better to do than spend time with a guy they like.

      I’m talking about actual reality, not what’s written on a website.

  4. lol the single women are old and bitter, that’s why they are single. Bill is painting an overly optimistic picture.

    Socal is the best for women, especially LA. Yes I know what the numbers say, but the younger women are available there and as long as you’re not in the bottom of the male pool, you’ll do fine.

    I don’t think the bottom of the male pool really does well in NYC either though. The reason for so many singles, outside of the fact that they are old and bitter, is that a woman would rather be single than go for a guy below standard. I read one article that was insulting a short balding guy, what that article left out is that dude almost definitely pulls at least $100k a year. Women care a lot less about how men look than the money they make or their personalities. So while Bill Gates may not be the most physically attractive guy around, I can guarantee you that he can have his pick of super models.

    Other than that, NYC is about the same as other places except it’s so much more expensive and the women are bitchier. Again, head to SoCal.

    1. Thanks for the comment, Joe.

      I don’t know anything about the SoCal scene, but I would imagine that the female situation would be much better down there as it would be in Miami, for instance, where people are going to spend a lot of time at the beaches so they’re going to have more incentive to keep themselves in shape and looking good.

      We have a lot of slackers in NYC. Since they don’t intend to take their clothes off, they let their bodies get into all kinds of states of disrepair. I think a more valid attack on the number theory is the overall percentage of HAWT chicks, not how old they might be. We have lots of girls here, but how many of them do you actually want? 😀

      Also, I think a guy’s location in the male pool is critically important. There are going to seem to be fewer available chicks to guys that rarely get raps. For guys higher up on the totem pole, you never end up socializing with all the girls you meet because every time you go somewhere, you meet more.

      It’s like the restaurants here. You can never eat at all the NYC restaurants because a) there are so many of them, and b) by the time you ate at a bunch of them, some of those closed and re-opened under new management or new restaurants were built from scratch.

      Either way, the problem isn’t the number of chicks here, but rather how you gain access to them. If you have a network of people that you socialize with, you’ll never run out of girls. If you have homeboys to come Hunting with you, you can always pick up new girls on the fly. If you’re a solo artist without many social skills, New York City can be a veeeeeeeeeeeeeery lonely place.

  5. As a chick, I could be offended by this post, but I’m not! I dont know what the statistics are, but i think the perception- and the feeling- is accurate. Women are at a disadvantage in NY, especially as they get older.
    Thanks for visiting my blog too!

  6. Great post. I think beautiful women move to both NYC and LA. I visited a friend in LA and went out with her and three of her gorgeous, perfectly-kept amazon friends (they were all over 5’8″ and all of them complained they did not have a boyfriend.) I, at 5’5″, was married. To a guy who makes good money. It was surreal.
    These packs of gorgeous amazon women in LA and NYC should be good for tourism.

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