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Lindsey & Bill: Moving In
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I was talking to Lindsey from NNN / Tumblr about moving in with a significant other. While it is important to care about *your* needs, there is also another side to this ‘big move’ that you may want to consider before you pack your bags…..
Five tips for the fellaz if you let a chick move in with you:
1) Bedroom Entertainment:
B: Make sure there’s a television in your bedroom so she can vamoose when the fellaz come over to watch the game or play some cards. Also, make sure your favorite video game system’s attached to it for when she invites the girls over to watch chick flicks! :O (Don’t forget noise-canceling headphones).
L: Yes, while it is important to have 2 separate TVs because let’s face it, not all women like to watch Monday night football, make sure you ALSO have some of those fold out chairs handy in your room. When she’s watching Grey’s anatomy, Sex and the City and playing some video games of her own (yes, we do love video games), you should have places for your friends to sit in your room. Chances are, you aren’t all going to want to sit on your bed. And don’t you dare kicking her out of the living room…first come, first serve!
2) Guests of the Opposite Sex:
B: Lay down the law. Don’t fold! :D Let her know that if your homegirls want to stay over in the guest room or on the couch, that that’s EXACTLY what’s going to happen!….. Of course, you might want to trade this option for leverage against her inviting dudes over to your crib. :/
L: Personally, I don’t mind if you have girls stay over. I trust you, plus I’ll be home in case the shit hits the fan. On the other hand, you have to learn how to trust her. If she brings a guy back that’s her friend, then it’s her friend, unless she tells you otherwise. After all, isn’t that what a relationship is about? Trust.
3) Sleeping Arrangements:
B: Before you invite a chick to move in with you, make sure she’s comfortable with sleeping on the OPPOSITE SIDE of the bed from YOUR SIDE! :D Also, check to see if she’s a cover-hog when she sleeps. You know, how you go to sleep all toasty and wake up in the beginning stages of catching a cold, because somehow, she wrapped ALL the covers around her like a cocoon while you both were asleep?
L: This is definitely true. And while you’re defining sides of the bed, make sure that you define where the middle is. She’s probably much smaller than you – which DOES NOT meant that her side is smaller. If you merely spread out, you take up more than 60% of the bed, where as if she does the same, she takes up 35% of the bed. Your own personal space of the bed should be divided evenly, not according to size. Oh, and make sure you get another blanket…just in case.
4) Post-Sex Arrangements:
B: Now that she’s living with you, you can’t tell her you have to go home right after you tap that. :( Figure out some protocols as far as her falling asleep on top of you (hopefully *after* the sex, not during), or babbling incessantly about some nonsense while you’re trying to enjoy the silence and reminisce about how sweetly you just waxed that.
L: As if. Who says that she’s not the one that will be kicking YOUR ass out of bed? If you did a good job, chances are she’ll be fast asleep and you can sleep peacefully. If not… there’s only one person to blame and I’ll give you a hint: it’s not her.
5) Put The Toilet Seat Down!:
B: Women always enjoy feeling that you recognize them as ladies. One way to do that is to put the toilet seat down after you’re finished. Another apparently useful tip for some of you is….. Put the toilet seat *UP* before you START! :/
L: Agreed completely. No one likes cleaning toilets, and no one like looking at all the grime and mold hanging out under the toilet seat. If you put it down when you’re done, it not only looks cleaner, but there will be one less reason for her to bitch at you. And if you really LIKE to leave the toilet seat up, then you can be the one to clean it after every use!
Five tips for the ladies when you move in with your significant other.
1) Remember he’s a guy!:
L: He’s not some chick you found on craigslist who barely knows you and is always walking on glass around you to not piss you off. A guy is a guy and not all guys care about cleanliness like we do. So the next time he doesn’t do his dishes or doesn’t make the bed, remember, it’s not the end of the world. Take a deep breath – this is what you signed up for.
B: True That! :D This is the reason why the ladies need to study his habits BEFORE moving in with him. Were the dishes always washed when you came over? Was the bed always made? Was the laundry always done? Was the garbage taken out? If not, don’t expect anything to be different when you arrive on the set.
2) Bathroom stuff:
L: Chances are, like most women, we like to have our specific soaps, lotions, shampoos that smell really good and perhaps cost a bit more. On the other hand, chances are, guys aren’t going to know whether it’s a $5 bottle of face lotion or a $50 bottle. If you don’t want him using it, make sure he has his own! Next time you buy something of that nature, pick him up the cheaper – guy version. He won’t care and this will keep him out of your expensive stuff!
B: No doubt! :D If it says “Shampoo” on it, it’s getting used. A LOT OF IT! Make sure the closest thing to the shower is the LEAST expensive/cherished. For guys, it’s like “wash hair, grab bottle, pour, use, pour, use more”. Nobody cares what the brand is! :D
3) TIVO.
L: One way to piss off your guy is to erase his tivo’d football/basketball game. After a long day of work when he comes home, all he wants to do is catch up with the score of the game. If he sees that you erased a game from the basketball playoff series with an episode from the Hills, start packing your bags. This is not good. If there isn’t enough space, erase YOUR show.
B: UH-OH! :O OMG! This is amazing. I hadn’t even CONSIDERED this. Fellas! Make sure your cable box has child-proofing. Make sure that you get something with an access code that’s necessary for “admin privileges”. Imagine that you saved up that MMA show for a whole week, until you were really prepared to enjoy it, then it’s just.not.there! :O The chick might get the “Fred Flintstone” out into the hallway, but that doesn’t bring your personal entertainment back. :(
4) Get a bathroom trash… with a cover
L: Ok so we all know that girls, for some reason, have trash to throw away in the bathroom and guys don’t. I went to my boyfriend’s house the other day and neither him nor his roommate cared that they didn’t have a trash. At my apartment, our bathroom trash gets filled EVERY DAY. Not to mention, when it’s your time of the month. The last thing that guys wants to have to see is feminine products staring them in the face when they’re in the bathroom. Enough said.
B: um… Wow. See, this isn’t a problem when you don’t live with a chick, because that stuff gets bagged and goes out the door WITH her. I can’t imagine needing trash in the bathroom, because guys leave the bathroom with whatever they walked in it with. :) Being that chicks have various items that they might need to remove from their person and dispose of, this is an excellent tip.
5) Decorations
L: This is not your personal space anymore – now that you live with a guy you will have to be considerate of his personal tastes too. This means, NO pink bedsheets with flowers, no posters of men on your wall and no frilly butterflies or stars and hearts decorations. Try to pick color schemes that are neutral and friendly to both of you. You don’t want his friends coming over to the bright pink room and getting the wrong impression of him, right?
B: LOLOLOL @ “… posters of men on your wall”… VETO! Forget about his friends’ impressions. If you’re trying to have a good time in your bedroom, you want the environment to be conducive to your guy being inspired to tap that proppah. You need to think of your PHYSICAL satisfaction before your VISUAL satisfaction. Srsly! :D
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13 Responses to “Lindsey & Bill: Moving In”
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For the guys: Realize that once you live with a women, you are merely a tolerated outsider in the bathroom. Women consider the bathroom *theirs* no matter whose pad it was to begin with. So, even if you have separate sinks and mirrors, be ready to find her curling iron, hair dryer and assorted other female bath products in your part of the bathroom. There is a definite upside to this, however. As was noted in the blog post, women like to have their territory neat and clean and will often undertake this task on your behalf. Be also ready for the accumulation of shampoo products in and around the tub or shower. Women buy shampoos almost with the same frequency as lip gloss, and NEVER throw them away, even if they haven’t used them in a year. Sort of like old boyfriends, I think. My strategy on this has been simple. I keep a mental note of which shampoo is the oldest. When I can’t find room for my ONE FUCKING bottle of shampoo, I move the oldest unused of hers into her area. She usually gets the message. :)
Oh, that female territorial thing also and especially extends to closet space. Be prepared to have 1/4 of the clothes closet begrudgingly allocated to your stuff. The upside here is that women generally love to buy clothes for you, and if *she* buys it (assuming it doesn’t look *too* gay), then she’ll happily allocate you space in *her* closet for it. :)
Good piece. Living with someone gives you the opportunity to learn what they’re really all about.
Thanks, Joe, for providing “the voice of experience” to this post! :D
One thing you have to watch out for is letting women buy clothes for you. The comedian “Sinbad” outlined this very professionally, in that women will attempt to dress you in a fashion that’s less attractive to other women! hahahaha
Territorial Pissings! :D
Actually, I’d like my man to be looking nice when he goes out. However… buying hideous clothes is not such a bad idea. I bet you could get them on sale and for a much better price. good idea, bill.
@Lindsey: lolol OH NOOOOES!!! :O
Sorry Fellaz! Apparently, I’ve spilled the beans! :D
[...] Moving In – Bill Cammack [...]
I’m not sure if I am ok with living with a guy. Traditionally the answer is no. I guess it depends on the circumstances. I was thinking I could do it if we had a 2 bedroom apt and I had my own room, but I know I’d rather share a room and turn the 2nd bedroom into a joint office. Maybe if we were engaged and were in some weird leasing schedule and needed to squat a bit.
@Liz: That’s actually another important consideration… Does moving in imply moving into the same ROOM or ‘just’ the same apartment?
Also, now that you mention leases, stuff like this is more important where the rents are higher. If ‘cost of living’ is low, let her move into a different apartment in your building or onto your same block. There’s the same proximity, but in case of static, you don’t have to come home and look at her, hahaha.
4) Post-Sex Arrangements:
B: Now that she’s living with you, you can’t tell her you have to go home right after you tap that.
hahaha thats great…
lol, Thanks, T! :D
[...] will be great for those guys that get into situations where they’re living with a chick or married to her or whatever, and according to her, there’s no reason for him to still be [...]
wow, i know this is an older post but ihave to throw my 2 cents in…”TIME to GEL” Some single guys are used to cleaning and cooking and some woman have that Im the woman so i’ll do this and that mentality. If you find that the guy does cook and clean, let him! Stop walking into the kitchen and saying “i’ll finish that…” or don’t worry I’ll clean it. For one he may be used to cooking immediately upon entering the home and having something to eat during the game while she may wait to remove make-up, clothes, talk about her interesting (yawn) day BEFORE saying, so what do you want to eat! If he is getting up to do laundry at 7am, LET HIM! saying i’ll do that and still not having even left the apt at 12 noon is only going to irritate him and possibly start an argument. So he cooks on monday, during that meal say u will cook the next day and (ladies please listen) THATS THE TIME TO ASK ABOUT THE MENU! if he gets up and does the laundry today, suggest you will do it and feel free to add what time you will be starting! oh and aside from getting me a matching cheap male lotion, remember to also get me (and thats now us) a garbage can for the bathroom. I didn’t need it so its really not high on my list! and fellas reverse the steps if you are moving into her apartment/home!!! AND YES ITS FROM EXPERIENCE from which i speak.
(sorry, i know its an old posting but Im just now catching up)
lol re: “Older Post”. :D
No problem, Frank. That’s what the internet’s for. When you do something on television, it disappears. When you post it to the internet, it remains so that people newly discovering it can still enjoy the experience. hahaha All of your comments are appreciated, since most of the stuff I post is still up for discussion & debate, even two years after the fact. :D
Cheers! :D
@Frank: Excellent points. :)
Everyone should catalogue the pros and cons of their SO and make sure to work that into their “game plan” for dealing with or living with them. If the ladies get SOOOOOO LUCKY as to have a guy that a) wants to cook FOR THEM and b) knows how to COOK WELL, y’all had better just shut up, kick back and mention what kind of sauce you’d like on your spaghetti. Go play some XBOX or something. Shoo! Shoo!
Also, you hit on an incredible personal pet peeve of mine. Ladies… DO NOT LOSE TRACK OF TIME!… srsly. :( You have no idea how much it SUCKS to know that your word means NOTHING when it comes to timing. Using Frank’s example… If you say you’re going to do the laundry @ 7am… when *I* (imagine that, hahaha but roll with me for the sake of an example :D ) was ready and willing to do the laundry myself at that time, you are now taking on the RESPONSIBILITY of doing it when you said you were going to do it. Dropping the ball several times is going to make your man NOT TRUST YOUR WORD when it comes to timing. You might get it done… eventually… but that’s not what you SAID, so you still get penalized.
My issue is with timing. If we agree to go someplace at a certain time, and you know this HOURS ahead of time and you’re on leisure time beforehand (not dealing with work or some obligation that might run overtime) DO NOT show up all happy HOURS after the fact, ‘tombout’ “Let’s Go! :D “… Nah… Nah… I was ready to go at the time WE AGREED we were going to go. By the time YOU show up, I might be kicking back “watching the game with some spaghetti”, so don’t get mad at ME because you’re “so fresh and so clean, clean” and I’m not interested in whatever plans we made anymore.
Next time, do what you said WHEN you said you were gonna do it. Word! :D