How To Please Your Woman

ok… After a knock-down, drag-out Memorial Day Weekend, “The Kid”s back in action! 😀

It’s the age-old question that guys have… “how do I please my woman?” or “how do I please A woman”. Well, here’s what you need to know…..

Women (in general) are emotional people. They love to feel stuff. When there’s nothing to feel, they’re liable to make something up out of the thin air. Did you ever notice how everything seems to be perfectly cool, and then they find SOME reason to complain about something? That’s because they LOOOOOVE to feel stuff. It doesn’t matter what it is. It doesn’t matter if it’s positive or negative. As long as you can make them feel SOMETHING, it’s better than if you make them feel NOTHING.

Remember that time that you were enjoying the game on television, and your girl stepped to you with some irrelevant garbage about taking out the trash? 😀 That’s what I’m talking about. Instead of letting you enjoy YOUR LIFE, she’s got to find soemething for you to do which will validate her as someone important and/or special.

You know how many people she can order to stop enjoying themselves and do something for her?????? That’s Right!… ONE!… *YOU*!!! If she can’t tell YOU what to do, she has no existence whatsoever, so she has to keep coming up with ways to prove to herself that she has control over what you do or say. The only way around this is if she has kids already. This should not be the case, because if she had kids before you met her, you shouldn’t have started dating her in the first place, and if she got one (or more) off of you, you’re an idiot for not reading my post from last year, Navigating “The Kid Thing”, and buying her a dog.

So let’s assume your girl doesn’t have any kids. That means that the only person she has control over on this planet is *YOU*. We know why you did this to yourself… Because you like to get laid. Nothing wrong with that. The only question is, how much of a price are you paying for that? I don’t mean monetary price, like how it costs you DOUBLE every time you take her to Burger King (hate it when *THAT* happens! :/), I mean mental and emotional price.

Well… Here’s what you need to do to please your woman……..

nothing

Not a GOT-Damned thing, because it’s not going to do you any good. 😀

Remember that time you actually got up off the couch, put your beer down and took out the trash in the middle of watching the game? What did that get you? Nothing. It probably got you about half a day’s break from her coming up with some new BS to validate her self-worth AGAIN at your expense.

So, Class…. What’s our lesson here? Unless you’re planning to fix EVERYTHING, don’t fix JACK! Let it ride! Let it slide! Fuhgeddabouddit. You’ll be doing both of youse a favor.

If you take out the trash, she becomes content with you. That’s a useless state for a chick, because you’re not making her feel anything. Making you do things for her is a self-destructive behavior, because she’s making herself feel neutral towards you. You don’t get POSITIVE props for taking out the garbage… You just get back to Neutral. Regular. Tolerable. Tolerated. Eventually, she gets upset about something else, and decides to use you *AGAIN* to make herself feel good by getting you to “hop to” like the sucker that you are.

Another problem is that every time you fall for this ish, she’s reinforcing the fact that she’s not dating someone better than her, and your stock keeps plummeting. What does she need YOU for if you do everything SHE tells you? You’re like a sock puppet holding a boom mic up to someone’s face… useless.

Instead of all that, do the smart thing. Next time your girl gets mad…. LEAVE her ass that way! 😀

It’s good for YOU, because you reinforce the fact that you don’t give a damn what she says, which proves that you’re better than her, which is why she’s with you in the first place. She’s trying to improve her station in life, and if she’s lucky, have kids with you so they can inherit your superior, MIT Graduate genes.

It’s good for HER, because she gets to keep feeling mad at you, which she enjoys. See… She can’t be mad at you unless she cares about you, so the fact that she’s upset reinforces for her her feelings of love and admiration for you. Any chick that you can get mad at you is sweating you. 😀 So, LEAVE her ass like that. Let her go on her own fantasy trip where she takes her 5 kids and no job skillz… not even to be a cashier @ Target, breaks up with you and enjoys her life on welfare and food stamps. Ain’t Gonna Happen. To quote Sean Combs… She Ain’t… Go-Win-No-Where… She Ain’t… Goin’-No-Where…..

So, what’s she gonna do? Nothing. She’s gonna be mad and she’s gonna like it. She’s gonna call some of her girlfriends on her prepaid cell phone and complain about how guys are jerks, etc etc. Meanwhile… YOU get to watch the game IN PEACE and not waste any mental energy on making her happy, when she’s only going to make herself UNHAPPY again in a few hours.

Let it ride.

So, Friends… The way to please your woman is…

Don’t Bother.

😀

PS – Make sure you didn’t move in with her already, or forget everything I just said.

DatingGenius

Rivals

20 thoughts on “How To Please Your Woman”

  1. Oh MY! Don’t do a DAMN thang! That’s classic! That’s works on so many levels – when you are dating. But, get a little bit more serious, and you’ll be there watching the game SOLO – again. And, again.

    I say – draw a compromise (and know you Bill, you already have a article on this already). Do some of the things she ask correctly, and f-up the rest. That way, she’ll think twice about asking you do something for her – requests won’t just flow like water.

    And, my friend, your comments seem to hit at the chicks that are not ambitious – Target (or Tarr Jay) and Rey de Hambuguesa (Burger King) types. What about the midlevel chicks? The Red Lobster and Serendipity types? Not to mention the Limo and Ritz Carlson types.

    Do these comments work with them?

  2. @Derek: You bring up two very interesting questions/concepts. A style that depends on the guy making himself seem inept in order for her to stop asking him to do things, and a question about whether a woman’s “station in life” has any bearing on tactics.

    I’ll be thinking about those To-Day, thank you very much! 😀

  3. @d:

    http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/bigot

    Main Entry: big·ot Listen to the pronunciation of bigot
    Pronunciation: \ˈbi-gət\
    Function: noun
    Etymology: French, hypocrite, bigot
    Date: 1660

    : a person obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices; especially : one who regards or treats the members of a group (as a racial or ethnic group) with hatred and intolerance.

  4. Do you not see the flagrant sexist comments that plague your story? “When there’s nothing to feel, they’re liable to make something up out of the thin air.” “Instead of letting you enjoy YOUR LIFE, she’s got to find soemething
    for you to do which will validate her as someone important and/or special.” “Because you like to get laid.” “It’s good for YOU, because you reinforce the fact that you don’t give a damn what she says, which proves that you’re better than her, which is why she’s with you in the first place.”
    According to these quotes (stereotypes really), women gain satisfaction out of complaining, are inferior to men, and there exists a mental and emotional “price to pay” to sleep with a woman. Your perspective on relationships is backwards. I’m glad you understand the definition of a bigot now. If anyone heeds your advice, they are sure to be lonely or have dysfunctional relationships.

  5. @d: lolol Calling me a sexist is way more accurate than calling me a bigot, so congratulations on that.

    Just because you don’t like statements doesn’t make them invalid or untrue in various instances.

    Regardless of whether my statements/ideas are sexist, the fact remains that there are lots of guys that attempt to achieve the impossible every single day, when there’s no way for them to ACTUALLY please their woman/women. It’s really in their best interest to let it slide.

    Women do not gain satisfaction from complaining. 🙂 Women gain satisfaction from attention.

    Women are not inferior to men. Some women are inferior to some men. Some men are inferior to some women. Some women are vastly inferior to other women.

    Unless she just likes you and wants to give you some, there’s always a “mental and emotional price to pay” to “sleep with” (read: have sex with) a woman. The only actual question is “how much”.

    Implying that my perspective on relationships is “backwards” assumes that there’s only one perspective on relationships. That’s not true. The fact of the matter is that there are people that won’t have ANYTHING to do with “relationships” unless it’s in their best interest. There are also people who actually ARE lonely, and get into a relationship with any type of person just so they can feel like one person on this entire planet cares about them.

    Feel free to write your own blog for women so they can detect and combat guys that are trying to have a good time and not be nagged for no reason. Also, feel free to continue to leave comments here.

    Thanks for the exercise. 🙂

  6. “@d: lolol Calling me a sexist is way more accurate than calling me a bigot, so congratulations on that.”
    I was wrong—you still don’t understand what a bigot is. You are a sexist bigot. Contempt for the other gender is just one category under bigotry.
    “Just because you don’t like statements doesn’t make them invalid or untrue in various instances.”
    The problem is you are generalizing. You are applying perhaps your own relationship experience(s) and then forming ill-conceived advice.
    “Regardless of whether my statements/ideas are sexist, the fact remains that there are lots of guys that attempt to achieve the impossible every single day, when there’s no way for them to ACTUALLY please their woman/women. It’s really in their best interest to let it slide.”
    By impossible I suppose you are referring to satisfying a woman. Your inadequate relationships and in turn, your advice, do not reflect what a healthy relationship is like. When you say “let it slide,” (presumably ignore the other and continue doing what you are doing), there is no repairing being done. There has to be some kind of dialogue and interaction because problems don’t resolve themselves.
    “Women do not gain satisfaction from complaining. Women gain satisfaction from attention.”
    Complaining gives them attention which in turn provides satisfaction (according to your own advice).
    “Women are not inferior to men. Some women are inferior to some men. Some men are inferior to some women. Some women are vastly inferior to other women.”
    Again, you generalized about women with lines like “She’s trying to improve her station in life, and if she’s lucky, have kids with you so they can inherit your superior, MIT Graduate genes” and “Let her go on her own fantasy trip where she takes her 5 kids and no job skillz… not even to be a cashier @ Target, breaks up with you and enjoys her life on welfare and food stamps.” The overall tone of your piece is very resentful and bitter towards women.
    “Unless she just likes you and wants to give you some, there’s always a “mental and emotional price to pay” to “sleep with” (read: have sex with) a woman. The only actual question is “how much”.”
    Why are you looking it as a “price to pay?” Who says there is a price to pay? There is more to enjoy in a relationship than sex. It sounds as if you just want to have sex and be done with her. In that case, maybe you should give advice on how to do just that and not advice on “How to Please Your Woman” because pleasing a woman is much more than sex.
    “Implying that my perspective on relationships is “backwards” assumes that there’s only one perspective on relationships. That’s not true. The fact of the matter is that there are people that won’t have ANYTHING to do with “relationships” unless it’s in their best interest. There are also people who actually ARE lonely, and get into a relationship with any type of person just so they can feel like one person on this entire planet cares about them.”
    By backwards I mean a wrong attitude; not that there exists only one perspective. The advice you are giving is just plain wrong in order to maintain a relationship. I believe there are many perspectives on relationships, but merely having sex does not constitute a healthy and lasting relationship.
    “Feel free to write your own blog for women so they can detect and combat guys that are trying to have a good time and not be nagged for no reason. Also, feel free to continue to leave comments here.”
    Thanks for the exercise.
    You may have had a girlfriend that has been “needy” which has distorted your perspective on relationships, but the advice you provide does not apply to maintaining a healthy relationship (one without “needy”) that is implied by your title. You’re welcome. –PSYCH IN MY LIFE

  7. @d: I appreciate your comments.

    “@d: lolol Calling me a sexist is way more accurate than calling me a bigot, so congratulations on that.”
    I was wrong—you still don’t understand what a bigot is. You are a sexist bigot. Contempt for the other gender is just one category under bigotry.

    ok

    “Just because you don’t like statements doesn’t make them invalid or untrue in various instances.”
    The problem is you are generalizing. You are applying perhaps your own relationship experience(s) and then forming ill-conceived advice.

    This happens to me once every few months. Of course I’m generalizing. I’ve been doing these posts for over a year now, including “It’s the end of the world as we know it” which snaps on GUYS, not chicks. I’m not interested in typing out a disclaimer with every single post that of course I’m generalizing and what I have to say might not have ANYTHING to do with the relationship you’re currently in.

    “Regardless of whether my statements/ideas are sexist, the fact remains that there are lots of guys that attempt to achieve the impossible every single day, when there’s no way for them to ACTUALLY please their woman/women. It’s really in their best interest to let it slide.”
    By impossible I suppose you are referring to satisfying a woman. Your inadequate relationships and in turn, your advice, do not reflect what a healthy relationship is like. When you say “let it slide,” (presumably ignore the other and continue doing what you are doing), there is no repairing being done. There has to be some kind of dialogue and interaction because problems don’t resolve themselves.

    As you pointed out about generalizations, I’m not talking about ALL women. I’m talking about women of this particular type. There are DEFINITELY women who will not remain happy, regardless of what you do. If you take out the trash NOW, they’ll bug you about something else later. If you DON’T take out the trash now, they’ll still have the trash to bug you about later. The unhealthy part of the relationship… is THE CHICK, because she can’t keep herself happy and because you’re with her, her problems become YOUR problems.

    On top of that, do you know how many people are in unhealthy relationships? Do you know how many guys would dump their girls in a split second if they were suddenly denied future access to sex with them? Do you know how many guys put up with retarded attitudes just because their girl is hawt? 🙂 There are lots of problems that women have with their men as well, and they remain in relationships with them also. So… “Health” isn’t a given in people’s relationships, though, granted, it’s the preferred status.

    Yes, “let it slide” means ignore her. Let her be happy when she’s happy and mad when she’s mad. Other than that, let her pay you for therapy and lay down on the couch.

    “Women do not gain satisfaction from complaining. Women gain satisfaction from attention.”
    Complaining gives them attention which in turn provides satisfaction (according to your own advice).
    “Women are not inferior to men. Some women are inferior to some men. Some men are inferior to some women. Some women are vastly inferior to other women.”
    Again, you generalized about women with lines like “She’s trying to improve her station in life, and if she’s lucky, have kids with you so they can inherit your superior, MIT Graduate genes” and “Let her go on her own fantasy trip where she takes her 5 kids and no job skillz… not even to be a cashier @ Target, breaks up with you and enjoys her life on welfare and food stamps.” The overall tone of your piece is very resentful and bitter towards women.

    You just proved my point. “Complaining” is the means. “Attention” is the end. Therefore, women do NOT get satisfaction from complaining. They get satisfaction from YOU PAYING ATTENTION to their complaining, and also from your doing something about it, which indicates that they make a difference.

    As far as my tone being “very resentful and bitter towards women”, first of all, there’s nothing wrong with that. I get called bitter all the time. 🙂 Trust me, you haven’t even SEEN bitter from me. I have nothing to be bitter about. Women treat me well, and I treat them well. Feel free to ask any chick who knows or has hung out with me if I’m bitter or lacking for female friends.

    Having said that…

    You bring up a good point, and have inspired me to write “Play Your Position”. Oh, this is gonna be good! 😀 Basically, “Life Isn’t Fair”, and if you’re not bringing much to the table (male OR female), don’t delude yourself into believing that you’re better than you are. In the example you quoted… IF you have 5 kids and no job skills, and you know damned ****ing well that you’re not leaving your man… Don’t act like it. Do not front as if you’re some independent chick that can just pick up and leave the relationship. Also, don’t be mad that you’re financially dependent on him (or if it’s the guy that’s financially dependent, he needs to not be mad also), just play it where it lays and Act Like You Know.

    “Unless she just likes you and wants to give you some, there’s always a “mental and emotional price to pay” to “sleep with” (read: have sex with) a woman. The only actual question is “how much”.”
    Why are you looking it as a “price to pay?” Who says there is a price to pay? There is more to enjoy in a relationship than sex. It sounds as if you just want to have sex and be done with her. In that case, maybe you should give advice on how to do just that and not advice on “How to Please Your Woman” because pleasing a woman is much more than sex.

    There is always a “price to pay” for getting involved in a relationship. The whole idea is that you have to take the good with the bad. You’re automatically inheriting the other person’s personality, attitude and problems when you sign on to make them your significant other.

    The reason I brought up sex is that if a chick just likes you, she just wants to mess with you and there aren’t any strings attached. She’s not looking to you for therapy or making her life better than it currently is. She’s looking to have a good time, and that’s that. This is different from a “relationship”, where she expects you to care that she had a bad day.

    As far as my advice, I don’t believe I gave a SINGLE WORD’S WORTH of actual advice on how to please women, which is what I enjoy so much about this post! 😀

    “Implying that my perspective on relationships is “backwards” assumes that there’s only one perspective on relationships. That’s not true. The fact of the matter is that there are people that won’t have ANYTHING to do with “relationships” unless it’s in their best interest. There are also people who actually ARE lonely, and get into a relationship with any type of person just so they can feel like one person on this entire planet cares about them.”
    By backwards I mean a wrong attitude; not that there exists only one perspective. The advice you are giving is just plain wrong in order to maintain a relationship. I believe there are many perspectives on relationships, but merely having sex does not constitute a healthy and lasting relationship.

    hahaha There you go again! 🙂 I can’t have a WRONG attitude towards relationships… unless there is a RIGHT attitude towards relationships. Does that make sense? Some cultures are polygynous. Are they “wrong”? Some people are polyamorous. Are THEY “wrong”?

    Also, I don’t believe I said the only worthwhile thing about being in a relationship is having sex. There’s also watching the game on television, drinking beers, playing SOCOM with her……

    “Feel free to write your own blog for women so they can detect and combat guys that are trying to have a good time and not be nagged for no reason. Also, feel free to continue to leave comments here.”
    Thanks for the exercise.
    You may have had a girlfriend that has been “needy” which has distorted your perspective on relationships, but the advice you provide does not apply to maintaining a healthy relationship (one without “needy”) that is implied by your title. You’re welcome. –PSYCH IN MY LIFE

    hahaha There you go… AGAIN! 😀 My perspective on relationships can not be distorted unless there’s only ONE correct perspective on them. 🙂

    The way to maintain a healthy relationship is to date a healthy person.

  8. You guys are total idiots. I wouldn’t allow any of you to breathe my air never mind take my trash out ,even if you begged me. Have fun having ‘dates’ with yourselves ,because with this attitude , that’s where your headed.

  9. I really don’t know what to say about your comment… but I do agree on some of the things that you said and I disagree on other things ,just to let you know I am not all women… I am me…and reguardless what you mite think women do and how we things ,not all women think alike we may agree on things, many things because we hold each other down .but we have our own minds .And as for pleaseing a woman it depends on the woman you choose to be with,you get what you pick, I myself is the opposite of what you have in your mind on how to please a woman.You have no clue ……….and I think you need to get to know women a little better then you will have some kind of clue on how you view women.

    1. Hey Gloria. Thanks for the comments. 🙂

      I have about 140 posts that I’ve written to this blog over the last two years, so I haven’t bothered to put disclaimers on all of them, but I agree with you entirely. People are individuals, so of course, that applies to women also. 😉

      In a perfect world, people would match up with each other based on compatibility and the intelligent people would all be together and the cool people would all be together and the idiots would all be together.

      I guess my point was that some guys (not all) are dating women that can’t be pleased no matter WHAT they do, so trying is a waste of time. Ultimately, they should dump these women and get better companions, but normally, that doesn’t happen and guys end up stuck with what they’re stuck with. I was trying to offer them an option other than rolling the proverbial rock up the hill that always rolls back down again.

  10. I like your style Mr. Billy and I like how you get a rise out of women by the way your ” comment’s ” come out. See now a real women can pick up on that like myself and those women that you bash have a hard time seeing through your game. I can feel that you have a hard on right now because of these womens comments, it makes you feel so powerful and if thats how you get turned on then by all means get your freak on! LOL

    1. hahaha Oh man… Thank you for the good laugh, Gloria. I LOLed quite a bit at what you just wrote! 😀 I assure you that blogging isn’t that physically arousing for me, however I *do* get kicks out of my comments and a lot of the IRL conversations I have because of what I write.

      I “bash” women, this is true, but that’s because I want women to be better and smarter, and the only way out is “through”. I couldn’t care any less AT ALL whether y’all like me or not, because there’s an endless supply of females… However, I’m hoping that by recognizing the possibility that some men think exactly what I’m typing that y’all can open your minds and see what’s really going on in your relationships instead of commiserating with each other and coming up with the same uneducated conclusions over and over.

      Most of what I write is because I get tired of telling y’all about reality over and over and need someplace so I can just send y’all the link and save my breath. 🙂

  11. -___________________- bong. You’re not a dating genius, it looks like you haven’t done dating in years, so **** are you talking about ?? Get a girl first, experience it all, & then COME TALK TO ME ABOUT DATING ! 🙂

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