Male Birth Control Pills!!!

Oh, Thank GOD for the future!!!!!! 😀

It’s about to be ON and POPPIN!!! 😀

According to MSNBC’s Article, a male birth control pill may be right around the corner! 😀 BOO-YAH! 😀

Why is this a big deal? Because we all know that regardless of death and destruction, people STILL, to this day, in 2008 AD, don’t like to use condoms. I’m not just talking about the fellaz… It’s the chicks too. That’s a whole post by itself, but basically… By the time a chick’s throwin’ it at you, she thinks you’re special. This is because they like to add all this extra relationship stuff on top of the sex. So, while all YOU were thinking is “She’s hawt… She could get it”, she’s put a lot more thought into it, including feeling like you’re “clean” and that she wouldn’t mind having kids with you. This isn’t necessarily right off the bat, but if you tap it proppah one time for the people, be on the lookout for the relaxation of the condom requirements.


More importantly, condoms are “only” something like 97% effective. I know that seems like a high percentage, but you have to consider that number realistically, and not statistically. It’s not that every time you put on a condom, there’s only a 3% chance that it’s not going to hook you up. It’s that out of 100 times, 3 DUDES are DEFINITELY going to catch a bad one! 😀 The obvious problem with that is that if you have a steady chick and you hit it only once a week (?????) you TTL is 2 years, if you’re lucky. Basically, hit it 100 times, and you have 3 chances to end up with a kid.

This is because the numbers aren’t based on the failure of the material… It’s based on HUMAN ERROR. I figure the main error is not putting it on properly in the first place, so that you find out it rolled off during the act, hahahahaha = baby. The second error is not leaving space at the top. This means that all the way up until “the end”, the condom’s perfectly intact. When you do your thing, however, too much pressure is built up, and it breaks right where you need it NOT to break! hahahahaha = baby. So it’s not that out of every 100 condoms you buy, that three of them don’t work. It’s that in every 100 applications, there’s the prospect of incorrect application, et voila. 😀

So anyway… This ultimately traumatic situation is about to be a thing of the past! 😀 With a male birth control pill, the intelligent guy will FINALLY be in control of his destiny! 😀

We’re about to experience many conversations like this:

Her: I think I’m pregnant
Him: I think you’re…….. NOT! 😀
Her: Remember a couple of weeks ago, when we XYZ?
Him: Barely… So what?
Her: I felt myself get pregnant
Him: Oh yeah? :/
Her: Yeah, so I took this test, and it’s positive. I’m pregnant.
Him: ……
Her: So I was thinking we should get married, and
Him: *PSYCH*!!! 😀
Her: …
Him: I’ve been taking THESE! 😀 [producing male birth control pills]
Her: …
Him: Uh huh. So… You’d Betta Ca-Hall TyRone!!! (Call Him!)
Her: …
Him: Say… I know a producer on “Maury”. I could get you on next month.

Ahhhhhhhh, YES! 😀 FREEDOM!!! 😀

Not that I give a damn how it works, IF it works, but if YOU want to read up on it, check out

There are lots of guys that have already dealt with this issue by getting vasectomies. I think a pill is a much better idea, as long as the effects aren’t neutralized by the consumption of vast amounts of alcohol. As long as you remember to take it, you’re cool. However, if you happen to meet a genetically superior chick that you actually want to have kids with, you can stop taking it and I assume your production returns to normal, eventually, hahaha.

This will be great for those guys that get into situations where they’re living with a chick or married to her or whatever, and according to her, there’s no reason for him to still be using condoms. The way she sees it, since they’re in a committed relationship, they don’t need it. This is especially true if she’s on the pill. However, there are chicks that forget to take the pill and chicks that “forget” to take the pill, so this is STILL a traumatic experience for the thinking man that isn’t interested in “starting a family” yet (or ever)(or with this particular chick)(or that already has enough kids for his liking)(or thinks this chick is crazy, so he’s not trying to have any genetically-crazy kids).

Yes, Yes! 😀 If they’re smart, the male birth control pill will cost a gazillion dollars, because it’ll be worth it for the peace of mind that it brings. 🙂 A friend of mine, literally, EVERY SINGLE MONTH would tell me he was ‘afraid’ that his chick was pregnant. EVERY Month! 😀 The problem with this is that, basically, chicks can get pregnant on the opposite side of the month from when they miss their periods. So if you THINK you got her pregnant, either you’re a fool and you don’t have your girl’s period timed… or you know you spilled right around ovulation and you have a good 15 days to sweat about potentially being BROKE for the next 18 years.

So, the smart guy will avoid this when male birth control finally arrives on the shelves. It’s a brand new day, gentlemen! Thank God for technology! 😀



Join the Conversation


  1. Well, if there’s a pill that causes penis loss, that’s worthy of a whole new article in itself. Talk about a harsh mickey! 😥

  2. All about being the sleezy, gutless guy with no responsibility hey? All play and pleasure no actual contribution to anything. In complete control of his self-centred pleasure obsessed destiny!

    If you want to be a loser in life, use the pill, your chick if she is using her’s already, chances are she will get fat for it, if not get cancer! Use her to the point where she is risking her life for your pleasure. You da man aren’t you!

  3. @AJ: Thanks for the comment. You bring up some very interesting points. I’m going to do an actual post based on your question, since I don’t want what I have to say to be stuck in the comments stream.

    Briefly… Males taking birth control IS taking responsibility. The responsibility to make sure his girl doesn’t get pregnant. Did you think of that? 🙂

    The contribution is to her fun, having a good time, feeling good and contributing to her self-esteem and feelings of being a sexy, desired woman.

    We’re SUPPOSED to have control over our self-centered pleasure-obsessed destinies. 🙂 If we don’t, we don’t get to continue. We eventually make a mistake and get stuck with a situation we don’t want. This is why it’s VERY responsible for men to take birth control.

    As far as the girl getting fat for using the pill, thank you for bringing that up, too. I should have mentioned that in my post as one of the benefits of male birth control pills that you don’t mess with your chick’s body chemistry / attractiveness to you.

    NOWHERE in that post did I say you SHOULD *get* your girl to go on the pill. I said that chicks ALREADY on the pill forget to take them and “forget” to take them. Getting a gal who’s NOT on the pill to GO on it just so you don’t have to use birth control is completely selfish and doesn’t have HER best interests at heart or in mind.

    Thanks again for that comment. I’m gonna hop on that post now.

  4. Hey at least twice a girl has said, don’t worry Im on the pill and My response has remained “oh, thats cool.Im not though” and all said with a smile!! Unless its long term, id probaly still go the way of the latex but long term relationship, yeah I’d get on the pill QUICKLY!!! pssssst, that AJ dude really needs to stop bible thumping or whatever! lol

  5. @Frank: No doubt. She wants to tell you “don’t worry” when she’s tryinna get some, but then, how come it’s not all about “don’t worry” when the test results come back? 😀

    YA HEARD? 😀

  6. Just wanted to note that my ex BF was on male birth control, as well as I was on the pill. He trusted me to keep taking it, and decided he was going to go off it. I let him know that there is always room for error, and people forget pills all the time. After all, think of how many times you’ve forgotten your multi-vitamin? Remembering 365 days a year allows room for error. So, I made him aware of this, and left it up to him to decide.

    I am 35 with no kids and wasn’t looking to have any, actually. I had a positive test result, but it was a false positive. Just note and understand that a few things can cause a false positive, such as detergents, diuretics, etc.

    Regardless, I think he immediately assume I was cheating, because the male birth control takes a lot of time to dissipate, and for sperm to return back to a normal count.

    Anyway, hope this helps.

  7. @Kris: Your comments DO help. Thank you. Very interesting. I didn’t know they actually HAD male birth control yet (other than condoms, of course).

    That’s good. Now we can get the first generation of guinea pigs out of the way so they can suffer from all the side effects and then the formula can be fixed for mass distribution.

    Anyway, yes, any guy is a FOOL for leaving birth control up to anyone other than himself if he’s serious about not having kids.

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