Top 10 Mistakes Girls Make When Trying To Get A Guy
Posted by Bill Cammack in DatingGenius, Lindz & Bill
L: There are millions (and counting) of girls out there who are single. Some of them prefer to be single, but for the most part, they just can’t get a guy. Why? These girls are eligible bachelorettes, good looking, have a career and (for the most part) aren’t crazy. They are just breaking some simple rules when trying to get a guy. And that’s probably because they don’t realize they are making these obvious mistakes. My advice? Follow the rules and it should be smooth sailing from here on out.
1) Looking in all the wrong places
L: It’s Friday night and you’re all dressed up to head to the coolest bar or as I like to call it, “frat boy feeding grounds.” This is your first indication that you’re in the wrong place. The second indication is that guys are fist pumping while dancing to “My Humps” and any other song by R. Kelly. These guys are classy. Real classy. Do you want to hook up with these guys? Probably not. So why are you there? You’re better off meeting someone doing something you like i.e. Museums, concerts, Art galleries or even a lounge. Already you’ll have something to talk about and eliminate the problem of meeting Mr. Douchebag who you’ll have to talk to for at least 7 minutes when he buys you a drink and then force him off of you because he’s too drunk to even have a proper conversation. I’ll explain the 7 minute rule later.
B: Spot-On, hahaha I can always tell what kind of girls are going to be in a spot by the kinds of guys I see there. Maybe there’s some variety when a place first opens, but eventually, the bar achieves a certain “personality”, and the same type of people tend to flock to it. The more these people show up, the less OTHER people show up, because it becomes less their scene. Eventually, places become known for certain types of guys that go there. Once that happens, girls who are into those types of guys go to those places… and girls that DON’T like those types of guys avoid those places.
The problem occurs when it’s “girls’ night out” and one of your homegirls picks a bar with the types of guys SHE likes, but not the types YOU like. If this is the case, make sure you rotate who gets to choose the venue! 
Meeting someone doing something you like is a way better option, because you definitely have something in common and even if you don’t want to go to a museum and see who shows up there, there are online groups like http://meetup.com where people figure out what interests they share and then make plans to get together IRL.
2) Giving them your number and expecting them to call
L: If a guy asks for your number, OK give it to him. There’s about a 35% chance that he’ll call. But don’t just shove your number in his pocket (or better yet, write it on his hand) and expect him to call. That screams, SLUT! Here’s you’re first mistake. You’re too aggressive. Half the fun is the chase and if you put yourself out there like that, you’re coming across as too easy. Guys don’t like that. If guys wanted an easy girl, he’d go to the local strip club or pick up the first girl on the corner of the street. At least he wouldn’t have to waste his time conversing with you. Anyway, these aren’t the guys that you’re going for, right? You’re to classy for that kind of shit.
B: That’s just the thing. If you give a guy your number when he didn’t ask you for it, he’s either thinking that you’re sweating him or that you give your number to everybody. If he was planning on calling you anyway, then good for you for indicating that you like him also. If he WASN’T planning on calling you, he’ll still take your number, just in case. So if he doesn’t crumple it up and discard it after you walk away, you *might* get a call after he runs down the list of chicks he ACTUALLY wanted to hang out with that night.
Your best bet is to make him so interested in you that he’s DYING to get your number before letting you out of his sight. 
3) Allowing the guys to buy you unlimited drinks
L: Now I talked about my 7 minute rule above. If a guy buys you a drink, he’s entitled to 7 minutes of your time. This doesn’t mean that you’re only worth 7 minutes, it’s just the rule. SO first off, be prepared to talk to him for at least 7 minutes. After the first drink if you want to “buy yourself” another 7 minutes, YOU buy the next round of drinks. You don’t want to seem needy and cheap, do you? If he keeps buying you drinks all night, that just shows that you are unable or unwilling to be independent and need taking care of. This give him the upper hand in the relationship and it’s not a good way to start. You make your own money, you can buy things. After all, didn’t Beyonce sing about how great it is to be an Independent Woman? I thought so.
B: lol @ 7 minute rule! This is very true that guys tend to buy women’s time. You have to think about it like a business. A beer plus tip in Manhattan’s around $7, so that means by using Lindz’s style, you’re getting paid $1/minute to talk with him. That’s pretty good, considering you’d be getting paid ~ $6/minute to give him a one-song length lap dance, and you get to keep your clothes on!
However, if you don’t eject after 7 minutes, you’re only worth pennies per minute, and that’s not cool. 
Buying the next round is what separates “the women from the girls” as it were. Buying drinks isn’t about keeping your money in your own pocket…. It’s about spreading goodwill. You’re doing a favor for someone that you like. By not reciprocating when he buys you drinks, not only do you NOT look independent… He’s stacking up favors that he’s going to want returned in other ways later that evening. I’m not saying he DESERVES what he’s going to request… Just don’t be surprised when it happens… AGAIN.
4) Talking about boring shit
L: If you just meet a guy, this is the time to let him know how awesome you are. Talk about something interesting (stay away from politics and religion), not something boring. If the first sentence that comes out of your mouth is, “I got these new shoes that I have been wanting and they were on sale at Bloomies.” all he’s going to hear is, “I got these new shoes and I’m so self absorbed, no wonder I am single.” ::scans eyes around the room for another potential girl who isn’t boring as hell::. See what I mean? Don’t be boring. Girls, you know what that means.
B: No doubt. Talking to him is how you express your personality and intelligence. If you squander that opportunity, he’s gonna see you as T&A and relate to you as such.
Also, make sure you’re original and not derivative. You want him to consider you a thinker and someone unpredictable… Not someone who’s going to regurgitate what she read in the paper on the way to work that morning. :/
5) Hitting on other guys at the same time
L: So you’re talking to a guy and then he excuses himself to go to the bathroom. The conversation is going really well. Then another guy sits on the other side of you and offers to buy you a drink. Say NO. No matter how much you want this other drink (you lush), that is disrespectful to the first guy. He’s going to come back from the bathroom and see you scamming on some other guy and think wow, she’s a slut. This is not a good impression. At least wait until the first guy has left the bar! Have some respect for you and for him! You can’t go two-timing guys and expect them to both want you still. Do you know what the ratio of single girls to guys are? Let’s just say that you don’t have the advantage!
B: I guess this is the flip side of the 7-minute rule, which is “if you’re enjoying yourself, allot as much time as you like with hanging out with the same guy”. Yeah, if you’re already in a good conversation, don’t let it get derailed by the next man tryinna get on. Just let him know that you appreciate it, but you’re waiting for your friend to come back. However, like Lindz said… If dude #1 breaks out… ANYTHING GOES!
6) Thinking that something that looked good on the mannequin looks good on you
B: Unless you have the same shape as the mannequin, get a second opinion before taking that top or those jeans to the register! Great-looking shoes, but you don’t know how to walk in them?…. Leave them at the store. If you can’t walk in them NOW, wait until you’re stumbling out of a bar with your drunk homegirls.
Also, if you’re wearing a top and you have to pull it down every three minutes…. it doesn’t fit. Either be happy it sits where it sits on your body or BUY.THE.NEXT.SIZE.UP!
L: I agree… make sure you look presentable. Less is more. And also a quick tip when you’re shopping – if it doesn’t look good on the mannequin, it won’t look good on you.
7) Assuming he likes you for your mind when you haven’t said JACK yet
B: This is so dumb, and chicks do this every single day. 
If do you think a guy likes you for your mind…. Think back and make a list of the things that you’ve said that have impressed him. The things you’ve said that were witty? That were cool? That showed you were down to earth?
If you can’t figure out why he’s impressed with you mentally…. he probably isn’t.
L: Absolutely. And this goes back to #4. If you have this problem, then maybe you should think about things you’d like to say before you go out…just so you don’t end up pulling stuff out of your ass when you’re talking to the guy and sounding even dumber than you think you do. Think before you speak.
8) Calling a guy your boyfriend before he actually is
B: A lot of times, the first guy that expresses interest in a chick is handed the title “boyfriend”. At the very least, she says “I’m seeing someone”. You don’t want to declare this too early, because you’ll be biased against guys that are just as good for you or BETTER, merely because they kicked it to you AFTER the first guy. Who loses in this situation? YOU!
If you stay with a guy that you like less than this new guy, you lose. If you dump a guy that you just agreed to devote your life to a week later for some guy you never saw in life before, you get talked about. Avoid all this by spending time with people that you like and handing out titles when you HONESTLY feel like you’re going to stay with this person. Don’t give out titles just so you feel decently about yourself when you talk to friends and family so you can say “I have somebody! ”.
L: My advice is go with the flow. If things are going great, why do you need a title? I have some friends who NEED a title. But think about this: Would you rather be married to someone who you absolutely can’t stand or casually dating someone who you love and have a great time with? Titles don’t matter if you’re having a good time.
9) Asking girls that don’t know JACK about guys for advice
B: Obviously, Lindz knows what she’s talking about which is why I enjoy writing with her….
If a chick you know has more experience with guys than you do, that doesn’t necessarily mean she can help YOU with YOUR love life. Try to pay attention to her track record. How many kids does she have because of “pull-out method”? How many guys is it *possible* that this new pregnancy’s from? Does she have any real-world examples of how the advice she’s giving YOU has worked for HER?…..
Depending on her personal track record, you might want to ignore her advice. :/
Thanks Bill. But seriously, it really helps to take advice from someone you trust. This reminds me of this song by Mya,
“If you’ve been divorced more than twice
And you wanna give advice about my love life
Oh no you can just forget that
I don’t need that
So you can just go ahead and keep that
And if you always lookin a mess
But yet you wanna tell me how to dress
Oh no I don’t wanna hear that
I won’t take that
So you can just go ahead and save that”
10) Acting / Dressing sexier than you really are
B: This is gonna backfire on you BIG-TIME. You’ll get all the attention and get the drinks bought, and the guys will want to “dance” with you… but when it comes down to it, they’re going to expect you to be as sensual in private as you made out to be in public. If you don’t want guys to react to you that way, don’t play that role. Dress however you feel. So long as you feel like you look good (to yourself), and you’re expressing your personality (if that’s one of your wardrobe goals), don’t worry about not getting so much attention from the guys. The attention you DO get is going to be from guys that like you AS-IS.
L: Ahhh! I have a great story about this. My guy friend *Matt started to date my friend *Susie. He’d met her once and then developed a friendship over MySpace with her. She had pictures when she was 15lbs skinnier wearing lingerie. Of course she did not look like that in real life. After one night of hooking up with her, he woke up the next morning and said, “What’s with the pictures on MySpace? That’s false advertising.”
My point is, go with what you’re comfortable with, like Bill said. If you don’t like wearing a shit-ton of make-up, don’t. This shows that you’re happy with who you are and you are comfortable around them. And that means a lot.
Until next time, be smart, be savvy and be yourself!
Tags: Bill Cammack, boys, chicks, dating, DatingGenius, females, gals, girls, guys, Lindsey Chen, Lindz, Lindz & Bill, men, mistake, relating, relationships, top 10, top ten, women
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I think you forgot 2 very important “mistakes” many woman make.
1)Regardless of what your friends say, if you are interested, ACT IT! Many a guy has walked away because the girl was doing the fashionably indifferent thing. 2)I don’t care to talk about your ex or compare his “misdeeds” to anything that i may do/have done.
@Frank: Thanks for the comments.
I agree with both of your statements. We didn’t “forget” the mistakes, we simply limited ourslves to TEN mistakes that women make!
Women should DEFINITELY act interested if they actually are. Ladies, “playing hard to get” usually maans you’re not gonna “GET GOT!”… YA HEARD?
Also, like Frank says… Keep all that extra sob-story stuff to yourselves about what happened to you and how you got played, etc. Guys want to hang out with you to have a good time. If you need therapy, hit my paypal account, then lay down on the couch!
okay so I really need some help with a guy situation
[...] Since Lindz and I got on the chicks about mistakes they make when trying to get a guy, it’s only fair that we let the fellaz know what THEY’RE doing wrong as [...]
Okay,
To give you a context of where I’m coming from here. I’m quite successful with women, maybe a player, but usually every week I score 1-3 numbers from chicks I meet around.
Now personally, I never buy a girl a drink. WHY? I refuse to ‘buy’ a girls time, her time is priceless and if i’m desperate enough to ‘buy’ a girls time, I can in a dark alley anytime I like.
Secondly not buying her a drink demonsrates I’m not like all the drunk/desperate idiots that have been hitting on her all night, I’m talking to her and thats enough, or in other words, I can entertain her just fine just with my company. Powerful.
After we’ve made friends a little more or are having coffee for the first time, sure I’ll pay for a drink. But not in a whole massive ‘OMG I’M PAYING’ SCENE. Just casual as if you’re doing it just to be polite. Gallantry is back boys.
“If the first sentence that comes out of your mouth is, “I got these new shoes that I have been wanting and they were on sale at Bloomies.” all he’s going to hear is, “I got these new shoes and I’m so self absorbed, no wonder I am single.””
No, us guys don’t read into comments like this the way women do. I myself read this interpret it as ‘She’s just saying something that first came into her head as I’d expect her to’. Why would I expect her to?
Simply because she’s a little anxious. There’s pressure when a guy approaches a girl, even if he knows what he’s doing, he could be a threat to her, he could embarass her, he could get her hopes up and even drop them. More importantly, he could be the ONE she’s looking for, so of course she’s going to be anxious. Duh.
(And to be honest, if she told me that I’d be glad. Sets me up perfectly for a ‘I bet you can’t even reach over the bar without those heels on!’).
This kind of humour may seem weird, but if you do it with a slight smile and the right voice tone, she’ll understand you’re joking. Most girls get a big giggle when I start with this kinda humour. Even she doesn’t get it, its a perfect ‘do you have a sense of humour?’ test.
As a guy, its my role to relax, so she can relax, and make her laugh. Basically, right from the start I try to link the thought of myself in her mind to good feelings. (Me—> good times, happy feelings).
The statistic of a guys chances of calling being 35%…I’d like to see some data. I know that sounds very skeptical but in my experience I call every girl who’s number I get.
If I don’t call its due to (1) I was so drunk I became desperate and don’t find her attractive or (2) She stopped smiling.
Ladies, when you’re talking to a guy who you wouldn’t mind giving your number to. For godsake SMILE. I’d go for a less attractive woman who smiles over a supermodel with the ‘I’m pissed off’ look anyday. Smiles are cute, they show you’re happy and not gunna be a grumpy pain in the ass.
I think as a chick, if you feel like dressing hell sexy. Go for it. Sure some guys are gunna expect you to be a slut, but you’re probably not looking for those kinda guys anyway.
Concerning the “mind part”. You got it spot on. Guys are direct logical creatures. On the first few meets, its your hips, boobs, ass and face that count. Ouch reality hurts huh.
From my personal experience, I let her divludge her personality in her own time. For the first few dates I hang back and just let her get comfortable with my precense and get her used to the way I do things. (E.g. stopping before a door so I can open it instead of rolling right on it).
Both of your personalities will take time to get to know. So RELAX. Focus on having a good time together.
And to my final point. Don’t be a guy’s mum. Guys are looking for a wife, not a mum. They already have a mum, and she nags enough let alone two of them.
If there’s anything you’d like more info on, feel free to email me. This has been a rather brief overview of a HUGE range of topics thats taken me years to learn.
Please feel free to disagree, my points are rather general, not always the answer in every situation.
Hey Scott.
Those are a bunch of great tips. Thanks for the comment.
I’m not a statistics person either. I think the chances of a girl getting a call from a guy are based on each individual circumstance.
Personally, I never number close. I can’t be bothered with getting a chick’s number because I’m always meeting new ones. I’ll probably meet more when I go outside right now after replying to your comment.
Having said that… If that were my style, it would be 100% that I’d call her. By the time I’ve decided I want her contact information, I’ve decided that she’s unique and I have more to talk to her about or there’s DEFINITELY something I want to do with her.
I’m more likely to give her MY contact info and skate. These days, I just tell chicks to “Google Bill”, because I’m currently entry #9 out of 551,000,000 pages. (551 Million)
Interesting idea also about letting her “divulge her personality in her own time”. For me, if I didn’t assess her personality on the spot when we first met each other, I wouldn’t have number closed her and there wouldn’t have been any “dates” for us to go on, haha
Thanks again for the great tips, Scott!
scott is spot on, he probably has studied a lot of social dynamics! A lot of the things posted were pretty bs and i wouldnt listen to em…
Hey Guy. Thanks for your comment.
What are *YOUR* tips and tricks for this particular scenario? Post them here in the comments or link us to your dating blog.
man i just read this and the top 10 for guys to me its so simple to get a guy but i know what we think about at first is a girls appearance otherwise how else would u find out about her?
Right. If a guy isn’t into how a gal looks, it’s all over before it gets started.
However, women in general seem to have different goals in “getting guys” than guys have in “getting girls”. It’s like something to do.. A sport. You’re good at it or you’re not. You have natural advantages or you don’t. You strive to learn and become better or you don’t.
For that reason, it actually IS difficult for women to get a guy they actually like. I’ll agree that it’s easy for gals to pull ANY-guy, meaning like the lowest common denominator of males that are willing to hook up with her. That’s a done deal.
Frank mentioned not having the gift of gab in the message board for the top 10 mistakes guys make. I think that one applies just as much to girls if not more. Usually guys are the ones in pursuit so they are rarely at a loss for words.
-”If the first sentence that comes out of your mouth is, “I got these new shoes that I have been wanting and they were on sale at Bloomies.” all he’s going to hear is, “I got these new shoes and I’m so self absorbed, no wonder I am single.” Well I can’t speak for all other guys, but personally I love it when a girl can immediately start opening herself up with whatever is on her mind. It lets me know she is interested in talking and isn’t going to resort to typical generic bullshit. It also takes the pressure off me to have to try too hard to keep the conversation going. Idk maybe I’m just weird like that.
Girls, just as Frank mentioned to the guys, saying “yeah”, “cool”, “haha”, “interesting”, among other one word responses to what a guy says does NOT keep a conversation going! Asking too many questions does not help either. I want to talk to a girl who is going to be my partner and/or companion, not my therapist. Believe it or not ladies, it is okay to talk about yourself. If I’m going through the trouble of buying you a drink and sitting down next to you and conversing, then hell yeah I want to know about who you are. I do agree that being too self-absorbed is not a positive trait either. There needs to be a happy medium.
Also, if a guy makes the effort to call and leave a voicemail message, never ever respond with a text. It is inconsiderate and cowardly. I immediately delete the number of any girl who does that.
Hey Robert. Thanks for the comments.
I agree entirely that gals need to concentrate more on what makes them ACTUALLY interesting instead of what THEY think is interesting about themselves.
Nobody cares that she just bought shoes unless a) they look HAWT on her and b) she’s planning to wear them tonight to come see you. We don’t care where they came from or how much they cost (except for husbands, of course, who have to absorb their wives’ spending habits out of either their own pocket or the family joint account) or what her thought process was in deciding to purchase them.
Also, women need to be aware that they tend to pick the same qualities that they think makes them stand out in the crowd… such as “I’m down to Earth”. They ALL say that about themselves, regardless of how wacko they actually are. Too many chicks “crying wolf” has made their statements about themselves incredible at best.
Having said that, when Frank was talking about gift of gab, he wasn’t talking about JUST talking. He was talking about the kind of lingo that gets chicks to do the right thing, ASAP.. Capisce?
If you’ve got the looks, you don’t have to say ANYTHING, and in some cases, it’s actually BETTER if you say NOTHING!
If you don’t have those natural good looks, then having that “mouthpiece” or “gift of gab” is your key to the kingdom.
The funny thing about it is that the dudes that don’t have the looks end up excelling in pulling chicks because they have to try so hard. When the guys with the looks become less handsome or fat or whatever, the effing JIG is UP, and all of a sudden, they’re tying to hang out with the less-attractive dudes to try to leech off of THEIR chicks!