Anyway, thanks for the answer and keep writing your blog, because it’s awesome!!

I’ll tell you this off the bat… Anybody that won’t accept a chick that’s ACTUALLY smart and cool and into gaming, etc etc MERELY because she’s a female is an *IDIOT* and really doesn’t deserve her company. Straight up. I’m not patronizing you at all. What you’re talking about is totally not what I’m saying, and I hope you get all the props you honestly deserve. :D

What I *AM* saying is that dating-wise, if guys cared what women thought, they would be buying magazines with women talking about stuff in them instead of magazines of women in bikinis and doing sex acts. O_o

I’ll be the FIRST ONE to hang out with a cool chick. As a matter of fact, the main chicks I hang out with, even though I definitely think they’re attractive, the reason I spend time with them is that they’re great PEOPLE to spend time with. Do I know better-looking chicks? Hellz Yah! :D Would I rather spend time with them? Nope.

As far as my blog being disheartening, it’s supposed to be. That’s because you can be disheartened NOW and then make educated decisions about things, or you can remain clueless until something goes wrong in your actual relationship and then you’ll REALLY be disheartened. Ignorance is only bliss up until it becomes your reality.

On top of that, I’ve been doing this blog since late 2006 or early 2007. The only comments I’ve deleted over the last THREE YEARS have been personal attacks on myself or other commenters, spam, and a couple of special cases where I felt the comments were out of line AND irrelevant.

The reason I bring that up is that you can search my entire blog and you will NOT find many instances of GUYS saying that I am WRONG about ANYTHING I’ve ever posted. O_o They might be mad that I’m giving away trade secrets, but nobody’s saying I’m incorrect. Not that EVERYBODY reads DatingGenius, but you can see from my stats that people are hitting these pages and you can read the comments for yourself.

Anyway, I *DEFINITELY* don’t want to give you the impression that guys don’t listen to girls BECAUSE they’re girls. My point is that when y’all come to the playing field thinking you have leverage and you really don’t, it’s to YOUR disadvantage and OUR advantage. The goal of your being disheartened by reading my blog is for you to a) think about it yourself, b) discuss it with your homegirls to see what they think about it and then make up your own mind whether you think I’m making this stuff up or I’m for real.

Don’t bother asking guys, because they’re not going to admit any of this to you so they still have a chance of hooking up with you or whatever friends of yours you might tell that they agreed with me.

And again, as far as the gender thing, I *MOSTLY* hang out with women and the ones I prefer to spend time with, it’s more because of their PERSONALITIES and their WAY OF BEING than anything else. Get your game on, hang out at the car show, DO YOU, and if a guy still can’t appreciate you for being youself, pick a different dude because he’s not worth anything to you.

You bring up an interesting topic that I don’t believe I’ve ever thought about.. Women that weren’t in demand before, but are now. I have lots of examples of the other way around.. Girls that are hawt and then they don’t maintain their physical condition or they have a few kids and blow their bodies up, but it’s going to be an unique set of factors for gals that aren’t used to getting attention when guys start asking them out on dates.

I’m going to think about this and will probably make it its own post, but the only thing I can think of right now is that a male friend of mine grew up as completely NOT a fly guy. He’s a very nice person, but totally didn’t have the look that would have made chicks want to spend time with him.

What that did was it gave him a loner’s mentality. He became institutionalized into doing whatever he wanted, because nobody cared. There was no chance he’d lose a rap from being himself because he didn’t HAVE any raps. He also didn’t have anyone telling him he was special or smart or good looking or in shape or rich or pretty much ANYTHING, so he developed on his own, as if he had been living in the woods his entire life.

I can only imagine that once he started dressing better and having money and meeting women who were willing to go out with him that he found himself “saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing” just like you. :) There’s no reason he’d know what to say or do because he doesn’t have a track record of interacting with females.

Just yesterday, I went rollerblading for the first time in ages. I used to play Roller Hockey every day for hours. Yesterday, I had zero speed and zero stamina and I was like “This is ridiculous!” :D but that’s how it is.. Use it or lose it. I get to build it back because I already know what I’m doing, but you can’t really say the same thing for someone starting from scratch at a late date.

As far as “he was expecting to get some”, haha if he was talking to you at all, he was *TRYING* to get some! :D I have no idea what he expected, though.

As far as basics, my uneducated advice to you is to treat your dates as if they’re good friends of yours. I’m assuming you have some good friends and you know how it feels to spend time with them and be yourself without feeling nervous or saying “wrong things”. Let it go. Don’t worry about “messing it up”. Worry about utilizing your time with him to get to know what he likes and let him know what you like. If there’s a match y’all go out again. If there isn’t, there are plenty more wherever he came from. Beleedat. Especially if you’re on your way UP instead of on your way DOWN! hahaha :D

Good Luck! :D