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Birthdays….
Birthdays are such strange times for me. During all the rest of the year, things are pretty much the same. I feel pretty much the same. When it gets to the last few days of “a year” for me, my entire system shuts down and I begin a phase of reflection… Not so much “reflection” as “awareness”. It’s really strange.
I don’t know why it happens, but it always happens. I don’t tell it to happen or will it to happen. I just start to “listen to myself” and figure out “how I feel”. That doesn’t seem to make sense, because people think they MAKE UP how they feel. I think people come up with mental ideas about how they feel, physically. I have no idea why that would change for me on my birthday, but that’s what happens.
I feel incredibly refreshed right now. The funny thing is that I didn’t feel like I NEEDED to be refreshed yesterday. I’m focused.. Happy about what I have.. Happy about what I’ve done.. Happy about whom I’ve met.. Happy about what I’ve learned…
It’s strange. It’s like waking up from a dream, but without the disconnect from the part that you thought was a dream. It’s like looking into aquarium water from the viewing area. It’s right there, you know it and remember it, but it’s so different from where you’re standing right now.
Anyway… I just thought I’d document this, since I know it’s going to leave me soon, and my system will return to normal… whatever “NORMAL”‘s going to be for this year! :D
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