Sarah Palin’s Wardrobe

People are all CRYING about the $150,000 (read: One Hundred and Fifty THOUSAND Dollars) that was reportedly spent by the Republican National Committee to update Sarah Palin’s wardrobe.

Well, it’s clear to The Kid that McCain knows what’s up and that he MUST be subscribed to DatingGenius! πŸ˜€

Exactly four months ago, I wrote “How To Dress Your Girlfriend”. Had I known what was going on behind the scenes, I would have called it “How To Dress Your Running Mate”, and I would have been on the CNN / Charlie Rose circuit right now.

So, Fellaz… I’m going to let you in on what Presidential hopefuls already know. This is CRITICAL information if you hope to be respected by your male peers and climb social or business ladders! Write this down! Tape it to your refrigerator if you have to! Ready? Here it comes…….

Do.NOT.Let.Your.Girl.Look.Like.A.Bum.

This is INSANELY IMPORTANT, dudes. DO not let your girl look like a bum. Spend money on HER gear before you spend on your own. Do whatever you have to do to hook HER up before hooking up yourself. You need a haircut, and she needs a hairstyle?… SHE gets it. She put on that extra 5 pounds, and doesn’t fit in clothes that used to look HAWT on her?… Buy. Her. Some. More! πŸ˜€ Your social status is COMPLETELY dependent upon this. If a guy’s not doing well, the FIRST indicator is that his girl’s looks start to fall off. Don’t let this happen to YOU! πŸ˜€

Now, McCain *could* have continued to let her dress like “whatever”. Click here for a gallery of Sarah Palin in her normal gear. This, however, would have been an egregious mishandling of Eye Candy.

It doesn’t matter how cute your girl was or that she was a cheerleader or beauty pageant contestant or newscaster back in the day. If you’re tryinna get in the club, it matters what your girl looks like RIGHT.NOW. πŸ˜€ “Cute” isn’t going to get you in the door. Your chick has to look BANGIN’! so that when you walk up with her, the doormen know you’re “bout-it bout-it” and the velvet rope slides to the side without you having to say ANYTHING to them. Guys can and WILL judge you by how your chick looks, so keep her up to par, even if you have to spend a hunnid-fitty Gs of the RNC’s money! πŸ˜€

Now THAT’S Pimpin’! πŸ˜€

Now, in this particular case, it was extra-important for McCain to shell out the ducats. In most cases, a chick’s entire job description when you go out in public is “Look Good”. Period. You normally don’t have to worry about her being actually involved in the conversation you’re having with your boys, much less someone interviewing her or her actually having to DEBATE anyone on public television. Under these special circumstances, you want the takeaway for people to be “DAMN, She looked GOOD, didn’t she? πŸ˜€ ” as opposed to actually paying attention to what she said. I mean, if you were going to go the “pay attention to what she said” route, you would have selected a more qualified and less attractive female from the giddyap, right? πŸ˜€

Now… As I was discussing “How To Dress Your Girlfriend” with my friend Michelle’s friend Jennifer, she crinkled up her nose and goes “Why don’t you dress YOURSELF, *FIRST*?” hahahaha πŸ˜€ Now, this is a legitimate question. The answer is:

I don’t have to.

It’s not the guy’s job to look good. It’s the guy’s job to make sure HIS GIRL looks good. You think I’m kidding? Look around? How many guys do you see get out of Porches looking bummy? They know they don’t have to dress up, because chicks (of a certain calibre) are going to sweat their car. Look at the “couples” you see walking around town. How many times have you seen bummy dudes with chicks “dressed to the nines”? Uh-huh. It is NOT a guy’s JOB to look good.

Even if it was, guys in general have no particular shape. All you have to do to make a guy “look good” is put a suit on him that hides his pot belly. Done deal. *yawn*. So you’re not going to hear about a hunnid-fitty Gs spent on Obama’s gear or McCain’s gear. Dressing women is like touching up art. You can’t just throw *anything* on them, because you might be SUBTRACTING from their natural beauty instead of ADDING to it.

So this is why McCain did the right thing by hookin’ a sistahs wardrobe UP! πŸ˜€ First of all, McCain already HAS a suit…



So, you’re not going to be able to dress him up any more than that. Spend the “hook a brotha UP!” budget on the person you’d RATHER have people looking at… Sarah Palin.

Now… Let’s say they had gone the other route. Let’s say that the RNC spent a hunnid-fitty Gs on McCAIN’S GEAR and left Palin dressing “regular”:

That would have been an INCREDIBLE error, because you’re not going to make McCain look any better, regardless of how much money you spend. With Palin, however, the sky’s the limit! πŸ˜€

People are already speculating about her career path in case Obama becomes the President of the United States of America. They’re thinking she could have her own talk show. They have all this celebrity stuff planned for her. This is because the RNC did what they had to do and upped the ducats to make her look PROPPAH for the cameras! Nice work! πŸ˜€

So that’s the deal, fellaz… “As goes your girl… There goes your social life”. You can look as FLY as you want, show up to the club with a bummy chick and NOT get in. OTOH, you can spend those ducats, make sure your girl’s looking HAWT, and people will see you as a man of respect who handles his business and keeps his woman satisfied.

We’ll find out on November 4, 2008 whether it’s enough to get you elected PRESIDENT!!! πŸ˜€

~Bill

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10 thoughts on “Sarah Palin’s Wardrobe”

  1. @Taiwan: lolol That’s a GREAT idea.. πŸ˜€

    We could have a constantly updated blog of pics of guys’ girls that just aren’t making the grade. Maybe we could get funded from some of Sarah Palin’s favorite shopping locations and dress these chicks up just like her… I mean, for way less than 150k, that is. πŸ˜€

    Even better, we could get people to send in UGC pics of guys that THINK they’re pimpin’, but they’re NOT and point out the problems with their girls’ presentation so we can send in the Fashion Police! hahaha πŸ˜€

  2. Thruout my life I have let ladies dress me. Since the time that they are little girls in preschool, girls endeavour to dress others. So I let them.

    During my young adulthood no one could identify my style. It was always changing at the whims of ladies. In between ladies was a fashion limbo. Not exactly like the last but good enough to find the next.

    Why should I than waste my energy, both physically and mentally on dressing. If I had no lady to dress me I would be Einstein wearing the same suit everyday. If this was an issue with my employers I would have to find employment where uniforms were mandatory.

    After 15 years of marriage I have as of yet to purchase an article of clothing for my wife. My mother however has bought every type of article of clothing for my wife, including bathing suits. All of these Items which she has worn. They are ladies and this is what they do. Let them.

    1. hahaha I see you, Nino πŸ˜‰ Thanks for the comment! πŸ˜€

      I can give you a PERSONAL assessment. You don’t have to dress, because you have natural character. Guys with character can get raps in gym shorts and white tube socks with stripes at the top, you dig? πŸ˜€

      Guys with character can walk into a spot in a t-shirt and pull girls from herbs in suits.

      That’s how we’re livin’.

      So what you’re talking about is actually a different aspect of the same issue. If your woman ALREADY has her own dressing style and keeps herself looking top-notch, all YOU have to do is supply the money for her to maintain herself in the fashion to which she is accustomed….. Unless she’s got THAT on smash, too! πŸ˜€

  3. “WeÒ€ℒll find out on November 4, 2008 whether itÒ€ℒs enough to get you elected PRESIDENT!!! :D”

    Well, THEY lost! Must have been all those GAY guys out there that could give a DAMN about how an “icky girl” looks πŸ˜‰

    They were too busy listening to her WORDS and judged THAT instead.

    But, you are right on about slummy guys with hot chicks.

    1. heh… Well, she got judged by her words and ALSO because she was next in line if anything had happened to McCain while he was in office. That was the dumbest part of the whole plan. Just about NOBODY wanted to see Palin as the actual President of the United States of America. It was obviously a desperate move, and it didn’t help out.. They still lost, MAJOR.

      Fortunately, McCain still has his actual wife, who’s 18 years younger than he is, so he can still get in the club.

      Now THAT’S Pimpin! πŸ˜€

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