When a woman leaves you, you may feel heartbroken, depressed, wistful, horny, betrayed, disappointed… 🙁 any number of feelings, consecutively or simultaneously. Here are five tips on how to move on with your life, and learn to love again………
1) Have sex with her sister
hahahahaha Just Kidding! 😀
… unless her sister’s HAWT!
This won’t help you feel better about yourself if her sister’s like “eeeh, ok”, because she’s not an upgrade. Depending on how mediocre she is, you may end up feeling EXPONENTIALLY WORSE! 🙁
Also, this does NOT… repeat… DOES *NOT* work with her best-girlfriend! Do Not Make This Mistake. A lot of women are extremely emotionally volatile & catty. Their friendships with other women turn on a dime… like happened in her relationship to YOU! 😀 This means that there’s the potential that in the very near future, your ex-girlfriend won’t care AT ALL about you banging her friend, so you basically wasted your time. (Note for non-Americans… “Banging” is a slang term for “having sex”, most likely derived from the sound the woman’s head makes against the headboard)
2) Have sex with her mother
ok, *NOW* I’m kidding! 😀
… unless her mother’s RICH!…….. and HAWT!
3) Get a hobby
Take that extra energy that you have, now that you’re not tappin’ that three times a day, and start working out. You want to meet women in the gym anyway, because they’re WYSIWYG. They don’t get to hide their muffin-tops under those Pee-wee Herman maternity dresses.
Besides… You were probably getting flabby anyway, since you knew you were going to get laid, regardless, so working out is a double-win for you.
4) Make tons of money
The best revenge is living well. Now that she’s not with you, buy that yacht and sail past her house every Saturday with your new girlfriends that you picked up at the gym! 😀 Rev your new Ferrari’s engine outside that diner where she’s working the overnight shift to make ends meet after her regular job on the assembly line at the sock factory.
oh… wait….. Make sure you didn’t have any kids with her before y’all broke up! If you did, skip this tip, because the more money you make, the more you have to give her in alimony and child support, so you’d actually be better off trying to figure out how to get her back instead of buying boats and cars. 😀
5) Drink alcohol
Helps you forget your ex ever existed and makes her sister look better, in case you decide to try #1. 😀