Women have to look good and men don’t. Period. If you don’t believe me, look around. This is because men and women have (for the most part) entirely different criteria for selecting someone to pair-bond with.
Men use their EYES to select women. This is why attractive women get more dates and get more drinks bought for them than unattractive women. Of course, unattractive women have more sex, for the reasons I already outlined, but that has nothing to do with relationships.
Women, in the meantime, select men by how they feel around them. This is why men don’t have to be attractive. You can be as ugly as you want to be or completely out of shape and still be nice to her and respectful and loving and caring and thoughtful and end up getting the rap to a woman over way more physically attractive guys. There are lots of Fabio-types that can’t hold a woman for ISH because their personalities just suck and they have the empathy of a plastic rock.
Of course, women want to project this quality onto men. Nope. Doesn’t work like that. Nobody cares that you’re a CEO. Nobody cares that you own stock in Google. Nobody cares that you have degrees from MIT *AND* Harvard. Nobody cares that you wrote such-and-such an app for the iPhone. Nobody cares that your startup hasn’t tanked yet. Nobody cares that you were in Wired magazine. Nobody cares that you live on Central Park South. Nobody cares that you’re a member of The Founder’s Club. The only thing that’s going to get him to walk across that room and attempt to make your acquaintance is he thinks you LOOK. GOOD.
* or.. at the particular time of this writing… he DID see you in Wired magazine and he needs to get a job from your company *
Since society has worked it out that men have to be the aggressors when it comes to starting conversations or relationships, this puts even MORE pressure on women to look good and LESS pressure on men. What’s the downside of not looking good for men? Women don’t approach you? They’re not going to approach you ANYWAY, because they’re so self-conscious about doing that because of the brainwashing they received since they were kids. Women aren’t SUPPOSED to kick it to men, so they sit there at the bar sweating you, HOPING that you’re going to come and talk to THEM.
Because of this, men and women come to the table with different power:
Men have the power to choose women.
Women have the power to reject men.
The power to choose is way stronger and more important than the power to reject. If a guy chooses a gal and she rejects him, guess what? He gets to go choose another one. Immediately. Might be her sister, might be her cousin or mother, might be her best friend. Right. Now. He gets to say the exact same stuff to them that he said to her in his efforts to bag a hawt chick. Meanwhile, what are HER options, as the rejector? Nothing. Nada. Zilch. She has to just sit there until ANOTHER guy chooses her, then go through the process of deciding whether she’s going to reject him as well and wait for the next train to come a-rollin’ through her station.
Since women aren’t choosers, but rather rejectors, they don’t get to actively define the set of suitors that step to them. All women can do is PASSIVELY define that set by making themselves MORE ATTRACTIVE. Wear better-looking clothes for your physique. Hit that gym more often. Go take those pilates classes. Stop taking haircut advice from men who aren’t attracted to women. That’s like letting someone who’s not a mechanic work on your brakes = stupid.
Don’t believe me? Try it out for yourself, ladies! :D Go to your next function bummy and see how many raps you get. See how far down on the totem pole you go as the guys that talked to you last time make their way through the better-looking women before making their way “down” to you. Maybe you can bring one of those limousine signs that says “I’m a CEO”.
If dating were baseball, guys would be the pitchers and gals would be the hitters. If we don’t throw you the ball, you can’t do JACK. Nothing. All you can do is stand there waiting for the next pitch. Also, if we decide to walk you… you get WALKED. You have to stand in the batter’s box. If we throw the ball sufficiently far away from you, you can’t hit it AT ALL. Four balls and you trot off to 1st base and there’s a new chick to pitch to. To be fair, you’d be able to veto that pitcher and get a new one, but once again, you’d have to HOPE he wants to pitch to you.
Meanwhile, guys don’t have to look like ISH because all women want is for you to be nice to them. How many HAWT chicks do you see walking around with mediocre dudes? That’s why. Then again, I’m speaking from my New York City bias, as usual, because there are so many attractive women here with NOTHING romantic going on in their lives AT ALL that they’re kind of “easy pickin’s”.
Relatively recently, somebody made up “Metrosexuals”. That doesn’t count in this discussion, because the guys don’t do that stuff to themselves to get women. They do it so they can look at THEMSELVES in the mirror and like what they’re looking at. They’d do the same thing if there were no women around at all. Also, these same Prince and Little Richard type dudes will be dropped like hot rocks if women don’t like their personalities, so dressing up isn’t helping out their raps to women AT. ALL.
So there you have it. :) Men choose women based on how they look, and women select from their pool of suitors based on personality. Other than not looking completely busted, guys have ZERO obligation to be attractive in the dating game. Meanwhile, women who refuse to maintain their attractiveness are pinning their hopes and dreams for pair-bonding on trickle-down theory.
Oh….. And if it takes him until 2:30 am to trickle-down to you, you qualify as a bootie call. Do not pass “Go”. Do not collect $200….. ummmm….. ok, at 2:30 am you MIGHT collect $200. :D