Comments on: Sorry… That’s Not Love

By: Bill Cammack

Bill Cammack — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 15:38:49 +0000

@Frank: Of course, as usual, you just dropped more Truth & Science, hahaha :D

The fact of the matter is that once a woman decides she wants to “do for you”, it’s a wrap. HER happiness is found in making YOU happy. She’s GLAD that she can spend her money on you. She’s GLAD that she can help you pass a class. Women in general aren’t going to understand that that’s not a woman debasing herself, that’s a woman showing DEDICATION, which is rare and appreciated, and some guys honestly LOVE the women that “do for them”.

Sure, there are guys that just take advantage and use her for whatever they can, but there are others that recognize that she didn’t HAVE to do this thing for you, but she did it from the kindness of her heart and her devotion to you and that puts her ahead of the pack.

It doesn’t guarantee her OWNERSHIP, to any degree, but it secures a potentially life-long place in a brotha’z heart. :~( *someone hand me a tissue*

By: Bill Cammack

Bill Cammack — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 15:27:50 +0000

@Sonja: I agree with you that the goal of the CNN blog was to empower women. I’m sure a lot of women WERE empowered… technically… by the advice they received.

Unfortunately, what they were “empowered” to do is HIDE. They were empowered NOT to say how they really feel, for a tactical reason… It might have a detrimental effect on their relationship. Does that sound familiar? :D

To me, it sounds the same as if I were to say to guys “Tell her you love her or you’re IN love with her so she lays down for you quicker”. It’s the same thing. In both indications, you’re advising people to be deceptive. In the CNN case, they’re advocating deception by omission.

Is it a good idea for women to do what they did and not go first? Absolutely. Whomever goes first LOSES control of the entire situation. However, IMO, giving women gimmicks and workarounds isn’t my idea of what’s best for them. It’s better for women to WAKE UP, use y’all’s BRAINS and start to see reality.

There’s the distinct possibility for each human being that they will NEVER be loved by ANYBODY in their entire lifetime. It’s entirely possible. However, women are fed pipe dreams, including “There’s someone out there for everyone”, “You will meet ‘The One’”, and “It doesn’t matter what you look like… SOMEONE will love you”. Those are all POSSIBILITIES, but women are trained to believe that they’re GIVEN… That they’re DEFINITELY going to happen sooner or later, so y’all get brainwashed from the giddyap and remain behind the game the entire time.

Guys get to use this against women to incredible advantage. It’s all in the game. The only way for women to evolve is to stop hiding from the truth and confront it. Guys are going to do or say whatever they have to do to get in those drawers, and that’s that. :D The first step towards recovery is admitting that you have a problem.

Making up gimmicks like “Don’t say you love him, even though you honestly do” is effective, but ultimately only addresses the symptom and not the illness.

By: frank

frank — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 13:54:49 +0000

and by the way, I LOVE my manz Jorge and Big El, but im obviously not in love with them. The love that you describe is one dimensional when the fact is we love in different ways and differently in any given situation.

The girl who signed me into class… I LOVE HER STILL! she is actually going to be the God Mother of my 3month old daughter!

Love is love unless people are looking for a specific kind.

By: frank

frank — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 13:49:38 +0000

Uhm Rosemarie: why do i feel like you just tried to whoop me into shape? lol hey who I was and what I was when I was 18, is not who I am now. As for the chick who kept buying me stuff, trust me i kept telling her to stop. I would even tell her that I would probably wear them there fresh out the box MJs on my next date and probably not with her. In the moment (at that age) you seldom say I got this. Its more like, Im chilling with a girl im kinda cool with and since im currently unemployed she hooks a brother up! It wasnt till years later that I called it for what it was “damn i had that hoe strung out!”
As for the signing into class when I wasn’t there, that isn’t ghetto game, its just ghetto love. We all did for, had done for us or know someone that passed a class or two with the help of “friends”.
as for hoping your son never walks this path: ALL MEN AND WOMEN eventually walk this path. All you women who hold out “services” because your man forgot the b’day/valentines/aniversary are engaging in it. Whether we accept it or not we ALL at some time pay to play. If love is really unconditional I would have got that azz on Feb 14th even if I forgot to bring home the flowers. Matter of fact the flowers I got you last week, thats me credit! and for guys this only helps to amp their game outside of relationships.

just saying.

By: Sonja Cassella

Sonja Cassella — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 13:37:35 +0000

Okay Bill, I think I didn’t go far enough in my last comment but as I read through the thread I think we’re getting closer to the truth … the point of the original CNN blog was supposed to “empower” women … actually, it was an attempt to rescue them from drowning in behavior that is, quite simply, self destructive.

Girls should be aware that men will tell you what they’re there for if you watch them. Just watch how they speak to you and how they treat other women, and you’ll know, particuarly if it’s all of a piece. And if it’s not what you’re interested in, girls should run not walk, not think “he’s going to change.” The only thing that changes a guy is maybe true love and if he feels that you will know because you will be treated differently than all the other girls, it will be obvious that he can’t act that way around everyone. And then you’ve got a whole ‘nother kind of problem.

Sonja