Analyzing “The Rules” [Part 01]

“The Rules” is a set of gimmicks that allow women to front as if they’re in demand when they’re really not. 😀

Reader Steve asked for a tactics post in the DatingGenius Suggestion Box, so I thought I’d critique the Top 10 Rules.

Now, First of all… I’m not knocking “The Rules” AT. ALL! hahaha I think “The Rules” is a fantastic guide for women that are completely clueless about how to carry themselves in relationships or when trying to start them. FANTASTIC! 😀 I’m sure there are LOTS of women that would have had ZERO romance in their lives, whatsoever, that ONLY got some because of following “The Rules”.

Having said that, it’s really a bunch of gimmicks. “The Rules” basically says “Even though you feel like doing THIS, do THAT instead”. It’s pretty much the same thing as telling guys to buy a Porcshe in order to get women. That’s a gimmick. Learning how to hypnotize women so they’ll have sex with you is a gimmick. Going around asking women “Did you know I played The Millipede in “The Spirit’s Day Off?” is a gimmick…. hehehe 😀

Buying flowers for a woman in order to “get out of the doghouse” is a gimmick…

The problem with gimmicks is that they’re only temporary fixes. They’re designed to get you over a hump… but they don’t help you long-term.

If you can pull a chick with a Porche, the next man can pull that same chick with a Ferarri or a yacht or a mansion or a trip somewhere. So gimmicks are fine to get your foot in the door, but you’re not actually lockin’ anything DOWN with them.

Similary, lots of women have turned to “The Rules” and gotten good use out of them. Let’s take a look at the top ten gimmicks:

1) Be a Creature Unlike Any Other (CUAO)

ok… The #1 “Rule” basically amounts to “Be who you aren’t”. :/

Here’s an excerpt from Rule #1:

Being a creature unlike any other is really an attitude, a sense of confidence and radiance that permeates your being from head to toe.

You see the problem here, right off the bat, right? 😀 That only works for women that actually FEEL and CARRY THEMSELVES that way. That would be like if I wrote a book called “Bill Cammack‘s Rules”, and rule #1 was “Be The Type Of Guy That Takes Pictures With Multiple Women”.

Cold Lampin’ w/ Michelle, Marissa & Lindz
Michelle, Marissa, Bill & Lindz See how dumb that is? 😀 You can’t BE that guy unless you ARE that guy. Also, if you already ARE that guy, you don’t need to read a book to find out how that type of guy carries himself.

Is “Be a CUAO” good advice? Absolutely… As long as you ARE a CUAO. Otherwise, that advice amounts to “Fake It ‘Till You Make It”.

Hold your head up high, although you actually feel depressed. Smile, even though you feel like frowning or crying. Stand like this. Walk like that. Gimmicks.

Here are some more gimmicks: Tell her you love her, regardless of what you think of her. Buy her flowers, even though you know she’s completely wrong, so she’ll STFU. Take out the garbage once in a while so maybe she won’t interrupt you so much (or AT ALL) while you’re watching the game. “Babysit” your own kid so she can’t claim you never do anything (when you really don’t). Gimmicks.

2) Show up to parties [etc] even if you do not feel like it

Still a gimmick, since it’s advocating unnatural actions (such as a guy taking a gal to see a “chick flick” in order to feign sensitivity with the ultimate goal of getting laid faster), however this is valid and useful advice.

Even here, in NYC, I hear women complain ALL THE TIME about how they never meet men they want to date. So then, when I ask them what they do on a regular basis, it’s 1) go to work, 2) go to the gym/yoga/pilates/whatever, 3) go shopping, 4) go out to eat, and maaaaaaaybe 5) go to bars with girlfriends. For the most part, women only expose themselves to men they work with and see every day. You can add to that the few platonic male friends they have in their social circles, but basically, women never meet any men because women never TRY to meet any men. 😀

Y’all fell for the okey-doke from those John Cusack movies where you’re walking with books and he bumps into you on the street and you drop them all and he helps you pick them up and your eyes meet and you know right now that you’re in love with this guy…… Sorry. That was a script! 😀 Fantasy! 😀 Your next boyfriend is waiting for you at some meetup or tweetup or co-working or social event or apartment party or ski trip or WHATEVER IT IS that you didn’t do because you didn’t feel like it.

You don’t have to do the entire RAP, but you DO have to make yourself available, so Rule #2 gets the thumbs-up! 😀

3) It’s a fantasy relationship unless a man asks you out

um……. This one seems a little obvious… But then again, I’m a guy. 🙂 haha just kidding, hahaha (sort of)

Don’t waste time on a fantasy relationship. You may have a good rapport with your doctor, lawyer or accountant, and you may find yourself wondering if he is interested in you romantically. How can you know for sure? If he’s never asked you out, then he’s not interested!

Not “wasting time” on a fantasy relationship is 50/50 good advice. If that’s all you can get, FANTASIZE AWAY, LADIES!!! 😀 …. Otherwise, yeah, don’t languish in limbo wondering whether you can get on or not. If you want to know, MAKE MOVES to find out.

As far as a guy not being interested unless he asks you out, that’s complete bullshit. MOST guys are SCARED TO DEATH to ask women out! There are MILLIONS of guys that are interested in particular women, but they’re afraid of rejection or think they’re not good enough or in some cases are even afraid of being involved in a loving, caring, successful relationship.

What’s even dumber about that particular statement is look who they chose for women to rap to… Your Doctor? Your Lawyer? Your Accountant? That’s SOOO STUPID because even though you’re still a WOMAN to them… you’re also $$,$$$ to them. Capisce? Jeez! A guy might want to blank you bent over the blank with your leg up on the blank until you blank all over him and he’s not going to say AAAAAAAAAAAAAAANYTHING about it that’s gonna mess with his cash flow.

So the better advice here is that when you want to know about some Fantasy Crush you’re having, make sure you look GOOD and then make sure HE KNOWS you’re down with the program.

Unfortunately, hahaha The whole idea behind “The Rules” is to make it look like you’re NOT down with the program, in order to make guys feel like they’re attempting to bag an unattainable chick… so, Good Luck with that! 😀


Related Posts: Analyzing “The Rules” [Part 02] | Analyzing “The Rules” [Part 03]

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  1. Um … look Bill, I didn’t read “The rules” because I was already married … but I think you’re too hard on the concept. The natural woman is such a soft-hearted creature, she can have the wool pulled over her eyes. She needs rules to keep her out of trouble. Historically, these were laid down by society. Now, women are being hurt by a lack of rules and a book has to be brought out to train them in some more-prudent attitutudes.

    I already told my daughter “don’t ever call a guy, even your boyfriend,” unless you have a legitimate logistical reason. You need to chat, call a girlfriend. Of course she didn’t listen. Now he’s taken off. I’m like, hold the line, there are others, and he may come back, but *don’t call*. It’s about self-respect. I heard her tell a friend about *her* guy, “don’t call him.” Now we’re moving in the right direction.

    Some things work, and some don’t. Girls have a right to read self-help books to protect themselves. Guys can too (why are they reading this website?) And you know, if you don’t have any rules there’s no rules to break.

  2. @Sonja: Interesting points… and like I said, I’m glad that clueless women have “The Rules” to lean on so they can have SOME course of action instead of NONE. Definitely.

    However, don’t you think that it’s better to actually make women better, smarter and more educated than giving them gimmicks to use as crutches against, as you say “Needing rules to keep y’all out of trouble”? 😀

    For instance, don’t you think that building a girl or woman’s sense of self worth is WAY more important than telling her when she can and can’t press “send” on her cellphone? I didn’t even get to the other 7 rules yet, but now that you bring that up…. The easy workaround to “She won’t call me” is “Call Her All The Time”.

    If I ran into a block of a woman not calling or contacting me and I actually CARED about that, I’d make it a point to call her anytime I felt like it, all day long. All of a sudden, her calling me is moot, because I’ve relieved her of that responsibility. Meanwhile, I end up getting what I want anyway, which is interacting with her.

    If your point is to feign aloofness, that’ll work on guys that care about what she’s thinking. It will NOT work on guys that are just trying to get her to spend time with them.

    I’ll accept fault here in that this post ended up being too long for me to go through the 10 rules and print a conclusion. I wanted to hit all 10 quickly, but the first one was such a hurdle, hahaha. Anyway… the point I’m going to make, overall, is that “The Rules” work fine in order to give women something to do, similar to joining the Army. However, as soon as a guy realizes that she’s USING The Rules, there are EASY workarounds to defeat their effectiveness as defensive measures.

    The clear problem with this is that if a woman who “needs rules to keep her out of trouble” relies upon a system that’s not natural to her in order to ACHIEVE a relationship, she’s going to be a fish out of water when it comes to MAINTAINING that relationship.

    Personally, I think it’s better to develop females to be strong-willed & independent, regardless of the circumstances. I think people need to stop buying little girls toy ovens and baby dolls to “play” with, conditining y’all to be homemakers, while we’re trained to be sportsmen, warriors and business professionals.

    Women who have their game together already don’t need gimmicks to get raps, AND when they DO get them, they’ll still be mentally powerful individuals.

    Same thing with guys and their Porches. It’s cool to have the car, but if you don’t know how to touch a woman, you’re SHORT after the first time you hook up with her. I say make him better with the ladies in general instead of giving him gimmicks.

    Thanks for the comment, Sonja. Do you agree or disagree? 😀

  3. Bill, you completely misunderstand me. The point of the rules is we do not want to deal with guys who aren’t up to snuff. We want to weed out all the insincere guys and before giving them anything of value. We know guys don’t like to call. They’ll only call over and over again if they’re sincerely interested or a psycho. Hopefully there will be other ways to weed out psycho guys, and if you don’t call them back, you’re left with only the guys who are gonna BE THERE for you. And then you can pick the one you like the best.

  4. BTW these days being at home with small children is a prestige position. And the hunt for the guys who can afford to let you be there is on.

  5. @Sonja: lol, I understand YOU, but YOU don’t understand ME! 😀

    What I’m telling you is that your attempts to weed out “insincere guys” ONLY works on guys that don’t know what you’re doing and understand the proper counter-measures.

    Rule #4 is “In an office romance, do not email him back every time he emails you unless it is business related”…. CounterMeasure: Email her more times than you want responses from her. Flood her with emails and you end up with her emailing you back more than she would have if you didn’t know the gimmick she was using.

    Rule #5 is “If you are in a long-distance relationship, he must visit you three times before you visit him”. So what? Who cares who visits whom, so long as he gets on? 😀 … Oh, but wait… I didn’t read the fine print:

    Remember, the first three visits are really nothing more than three dates… and on the first three dates we don’t have sex with a man or have him stay at our place overnight.

    ok… So… HYPOTHETICALLY, if a woman could get a guy to come visit her three times without giving him some, she’s supposed to feel good about herself, right? 🙂 The problem is that as long as he KNOWS that’s what she’s doing, he deliberately visits her three times and INTENTIONALLY doesn’t hit it because he knows that as soon as he passes the test, her legs are going to be open like 7-11. Countermeasures.

    That’s my point, these “Rules” defeat the defeatable. They’re gimmicks. They’re totally ineffective against guys that know what time it is, AND they leave women MORE vulnerable to being used because y’all relax, thinking that the guy passed a test he didn’t know he was taking.

    Did you consider that the only reason you have to TELL a woman not to give it up before the fourth date is because she feels like she wants to have sex with this guy RIGHT NOW? 😀

  6. Bill I have so enjoyed our exchanges I think I might start writing a dating thread on my blog. But maybe you’re right. Maybe I don’t understand YOU. What would you consider dating success, personally? I have always said, and this I learned from my father, that dating is just a means to an end. That is, getting married. I sense, deep in my heart, that this is not where you’re coming from. So, what would be dating success for you?

  7. There were a couple of points I wanted to comment on. They’re not necessarily direct criticism of Sonya’s comments (unless otherwise indicated) just some thoughts that formed after digesting:

    Most importantly, I got props! I think. Woohoo!

    Secondly, the “natural woman” as described by Sonja suffers from low self worth. There’s no need to be a defensive game player if you know who the hell you are and love yourself. Does that mean you can act like you don’t need anyone else? Sure, if you want to be alone. I’m not expecting any tween or teen girl or boy to have that understanding so, yeah, maybe kids need rules, but not anything similar to these if you want them to be strong adults.

    Bill, all this molding starts pretty early and can get out of the parent’s control quicker than you can yell, “Whassup, playah!” and down a 40. 😉
    What I’ve seen is that as soon as your little, gender-neutral-raised, girl, leaves home to learn things outside she will bring back all kinds of notions of what girls and boys should and shouldn’t do, play with, or be. They get these ideas primarily from the children they interact with 8 hours a day who are trained on that B.S. by their unenlightened, self deceiving, dumbass, parents. People, you are not empowering your little female when you tell them, “Grrl power!” but this is girl stuff and this is boy stuff, or girls get to be softer than boys. Given that there are several books on the subject of nurturing self worth in our daughters and there’s this rules nonsense there must be a need. The latter is merely a band-aid.

    Yeah, I get that task specialization (homemakers v. warriors) along the lines of the typical gender roles leads to greater efficiency => higher ROI, but that is not the limit of what we can individually achieve or contribute in our relationships or to society.

    BTW – This, “If you’ve followed The Rules, your man probably loves you and wants to marry you.”
    Reminded me of this:
    You will get what you deserve.

    I was super cool with rule 10 until I got to, “Even if you don’t meet Mr. Right, going out — whether it’s a restaurant, lecture or party — is a chance to meet new people and practice The Rules.” Whatever happened to going out and being entertaining and entertained? Put it in perspective, if I was a lion on the savanna and I practiced this rules approach the gazelles would laugh at me every time I let them get away. 😀

    Sonya, this is women pulling the wool over other women’s eyes. Wouldn’t be the first time.

    1. @Steve: Sorry I didn’t see that your post was stuck in moderation until just now. I ended up repeating statements that you had made way earlier, but I had failed to approve.

      Also, yes, you got props. Your suggestion is what prompted me to write this post, and thanks to Sonja, it’s off to a great start before the drones return to their water coolers on Monday! 😀

      I think self-esteem/worth, as you mention is the main point here, along with general confusion as to how a woman should carry herself in relationship situations. When someone has low self-esteem, the goal is to BUILD their self-esteem by MAKING THEM better people. When they ARE better, they’ll feel better about themselves.

      Giving women gimmicks to attempt to make guys qualify for the good stuff by jumping through hoops doesn’t change the person that woman is, at her core. She still has low self-esteem and she still lacks confidence. This is going to make her easy pickin’s for “players”, because she thinks she’s ready for Prime Time, armed with her new ideas and feels brave enough to jump in the deep end of the pool, where she’s not supposed to be until she has the confidence and self-esteem that’s going to allow her to thrive in an ongoing social situation.

  8. @Sonja: I *DEFINITELY* think you should start a dating section on your blog, because I think you might be able to carry the conversation to productive levels for women. 🙂 Make sure you let me know if that happens, and I’ll check it out. 😀

    This particular post doesn’t discuss what *I* think is dating sucess FOR ME, if that’s what you were asking me. This post is about what women think is dating success for other women.

    To answer your question from that perspective, what *I* think dating success for women is, based on your view (which is held by many women, since it’s a biological imperative to find a man to cling to for protection, procreation and providing, just like back in the caveman days) is to find a man that’s HONESTLY interested in the same thing that the women are interested in.

    A woman who’s interested in getting married needs to sift through her suitors in order to select a man who would enjoy getting married to her. What I would consider “dating success” FOR HER would be to build her mind, her self-esteem and her CHARACTER to the degree that she would be able to properly assess men in ANY situation, thereby making an educated decision and hooking up with someone who’s ACTUALLY right for her, according to her desires and purposes.

    What I DO NOT consider “dating success” for a woman is utilizing gimmicks in order to mask her socialization and relationship deficiencies. If you don’t build the woman mentally, you create two problems by allowing her to lean on the crutches of gimmicks. 1) You leave her in the same confused state she was in before she tried the gimmicks, and 2) You open her up to being taken advantage of by sharks (or “players”) who know what she’s doing and know how to make her believe they’re “The One”.

    For instance, by making a woman believe it means something to not have sex with a guy until after the third date, once a guy passes that third date without hitting it, he gets the CREDIT for that stage. All he has to do is have sex with *OTHER* *WOMEN* until he goes out on the sufficient number of dates with this one. Simple. If he’s willing to shell out the ducats and spend the time on taking her out, eventually, he gets what he was after. To her, since he jumped through the hoops, she believes he’s legit, and the store’s open for business.

    This is why a lot of women experience “Hit It And Quit It”. During the time this guy was “dating” her, she didn’t demonstrate ANY qualities out of the ordinary for women, because she’s NOT out of the ordinary. She was told to ACT like a CUAO instead of personally building her INTO an ACTUAL CUAO. By the time the guy gets on, he’s in the same position, whether it took him four weeks or four hours. He’ll decide to dump her or not based on who she is as a person, not how long it took her to give it up.

    Basically, what gimmicks do is similar to dressing up a public school female and dropping her off at the private school dance. She *looks* like the other girls, but as soon as she opens her mouth, everybody’s going to know she doesn’t belong there. She’s not from the culture. Instead of doing THAT, build up that public school girl with the same upbringing that the private school kids received and she’ll be able to carry herself properly at the dance, at the beach or in the supermarket. Anywhere she goes, she’ll have what you instilled in her.

    Not accepting spur-of-the-moment dates isn’t going to do anything for you either. Any guy who knows what he’s doing will ask YOU and like eight other chicks out a week ahead of time, and then just pick and choose from the ones he actually wants to spend time with on that day. Meanwhile, if something really good DOES come up at the last minute, and he invites her to go out, she’s instructed to decline, in order to keep up the facade that she’s in demand, while meanwhile, self-help books are fueling the Haagen Dazs and Netflix industries. 😀

  9. heres a rule! stop needing them. probably said by the great Mr. Cammack at sum point but just repeating. damn, this is like my shortest response ever!

    1. That’s my point man. It’s that old biblical ISH… Give a girl a fish…. vs TEACH a girl TO fish.

      I advocate making people into better human beings, not letting them be the same people and giving them tricks to try to connive someone into a relationship.

      That’s why dating’s so confrontational. Men and women end up fighting each other instead of just enjoying mutual attraction.

  10. You’re funny!! My brain was totally invaded with this book called “the rules” when I moved in with my old Polish roommate (K). They loved them, so I kind did too. And Good point, #3! Sometime guy just can’t ask her out if he is a primary care provider, or lawyer to this woman. But I didn’t know some guys are also really afraid of asking her out??!! Are you sure about that??!!?? And how does she know if he is afraid to ask her out, or he is not interested?

    1. Hey Masako! 😀 Thanks for stopping in! 😀

      Yeah, I remember Karolina, haha. These are a couple of really good questions.

      First of all, there are lots of guys afraid of asking girls out. That’s why there’s an entire self-help industry based on helping guys to feel more confident around women and/or giving them gimmicks so they might be able to get laid regardless of their social ineptitude.

      The real question, as you stated, is “how do you know the difference between disinterested and scared”? Both states are characterized by lack of action. Taking an uneducated guess, I would say that the difference would be attentiveness. Does he seem ACTUALLY interested in what you’re talking about? Does he enjoy spending time with you alone instead of with you and a bunch of other people at a party? Does he always have a kind word or compliment for you? In those cases, he’s probably into you but afraid of ruining the “friendship” by suggesting a romantic component.

      OTOH, if he can take you or leave you and really doesn’t care what you have to say, or that you’re talking at all, there’s a high percentage chance that he’s not playing hard to get, but that he actually doesn’t care about you, romantically.

    1. Excellent point, Steve. That’s where the situation gets sticky.

      Some people feign interest in order to be polite, or to NOT be rude.
      Some people are interested in other people because they’re attracted to them.
      Some people are interested in other people because they like them platonically.
      Some people are interested in ANYBODY who’s saying something they want to hear about at the time.

      Ultimately, my point is that one way or another, instead of fantasizing, which the ladies covered in Rule #3, women need to see their opportunity and GO FOR IT.

      The problem is that this is in DIRECT conflict with the style that “The Rules” advocates, which is basically to “Act As If” until the guy sees the woman as a CUAO and is compelled to chase, date and eventually keep her.

      The problem with this style is that it advocates weak passivity in women instead of nurturing a powerful, proactive nature. They’re basically saying “You’re not in a relationship with him unless he goes after you, but you’re not allowed to ASK HIM if he’s interested”. “You can like your doctor or lawyer all you want, but don’t let him know that”. This leaves women with no recourse but to just sit around WONDERING if the man of their dreams is ever going to ask them out.

      My advice to women would be to drop hints and see if he takes the bait. Mention that you’re going to XYZ place or party. If he starts asking if someone’s accompanying you or asks for details like time and location, ask him if he’s tryinn’a go. If he says yes, make the date and take it from there.

      Obviously, this doesn’t work for Rules Girls, because they’re so busy faking as if dudes are actually taking them out places and their social calendar’s all booked up that they’re instructed NOT to act like they want this guy to go with them. It’s all jacked up.

      I dunno… Maybe I give women too much credit. The feedback I keep getting is that they can’t be proactive. Meanwhile, the women that I know that ARE proactive DO what they want, WHEN they want and enjoy their lives, every single day.

  11. Fantastic posts, you had me roaring with laughter at my iMac.

    I’ve never read The Rules, but as a single woman in London, surrounded by other single female friends, I’ve definitely heard of it and got the gist of what it entailed. My frank opinion is that I absolutely hated the concept. I never understood how an absolute, defined set of behaviours would work for every individual female personality, towards every individual male, in every given context. It just seemed ludicrous.

    But it does come down to this – self-esteem. The Rules were written because a) women struggle with self-esteem issues that b) after multiple rejections or failures in relationships, get even more worn and many women are afraid of being hurt again.

    However, the reason why I found your blog so enlightening and entertaining, is that you put it quite clearly out there that MEN ARE ALSO FLOUNDERING. While you’re written a lot in a tongue-in-cheek manner about how men can also find some gimmicks to help themselves, I think what comes through all of it, is that you advocate a more honest, authentic way of dealing with oneself and other people. I totally concur.

    Here’s a little story: I went on several dates with this guy I really fancied. We had a lot of fun, doing the whole restaurant and drinks thing. I know he had a great time too. But because I was scared, I felt compelled to be reserved – partly, because he seemed too smooth, like he knew all the right “moves”. Like he’d call by Tuesday to make arrangements for the following weekend. Or instigate a progressive amount of intimacy but never pushing. But somehow I felt like I couldn’t really see who he was. It was also because I felt like, oh my god, I can’t look like I’m TOO keen on him, so I wouldn’t call him or just act like I wasn’t that interested. So in other words, I was playing games. But as it turned out, so was he.

    Eventually, it panned out that really, he was a genuinely nice guy – but who felt he had to play certain moves in order to score, but that made him look like a player. And I looked like I was playing games, when I actually liked him. The whole game-playing thing was exciting, but in the end, everything was out of sync. After all that work and waiting, we finally had a proper, honest chat where the personas and pretenses were dropped – and we realized, we really like each other, but we’re not really right for each other anyway, and we decided to become friends. Duh, like we could have done that without all the weeks!

    Anyway, I think it comes down to this:

    1) One always has to take a chance with relationships, whether it’s about getting rejected, or whether the relationship actually works out. (Even if it does work out, god forbid, anything else can happen like he could get hit by a bus, and you’d still get hurt and have to find it in yourself and survive.)

    2) Your chances of succeeding at relationships, is made better by a) not playing games and really knowing and being yourself so that b) you have a better chance of showing who you really are and attracting the kind of guy that actually suits you.

    3) Finding out who you are by building up your interests – whether they be hobbies, political interests, humanitarian causes etc etc. As long as they’re really something that you care about and want to do, that will make you feel good about who you are.

    4) When you genuinely like the person you are – you’ll have enough resilience to withstand rejection or relationships not working out, because you know sometimes, that’s what happens and it’s not because you’re worthless. It just didn’t work due to a number of factors. And you have enough strength to move on and start again.

    5) When you have that much belief in yourself – then all’s good and you can truly enjoy and appreciate everyone that comes your way, whether they’re just someone you might have a drink with and be friends with, or someone you fancy enough to take home, or someone you really want a relationship with.

    1. VERY Well Said, Annie! 😀 hahaha Except I’m going to have to repost your comment as a post so I can even REPLY to all the good points in it!

      The short version of my reply is that you have it absolutely right. It’s better to lose raps from the giddyap because people don’t like your natural way of being than to play it off like as if you’re someone different and then have to attempt to maintain that facade throughout the relationship.

      If you like “talking dirty” to someone, don’t act all prim & proper, because when you can’t resist and you blurt something out, they’re gonna be like “Who. Is. This. FREAK?” hahaha. You would have been better off telling it like it is from the get.

      Also, as you mentioned, playing games wastes A. LOT. OF. TIME. that could have been better spent actually assessing the other person’s personality and demonstrating your own.

      There’s NOTHING better than honest and real MUTUAL ATTRACTION. People have opportunities to find this and then blow it… because they weren’t comfortable enough with themselves to really let the other person know how and what they were feeling for them.

  12. Bill — Awesome post. I actually did the same thing with the “rules” they posted on their site last week. It was a lot of fun reading a guy’s take on it (if you’re curious about my take, here’s the link:

    My favorite part of this post: “A guy might want to blank you bent over the blank with your leg up on the blank until you blank all over him and he’s not going to say AAAAAAAAAAAAAAANYTHING about it that’s gonna mess with his cash flow.”

    Sonja — I’m not going to mince words here. Reading your comments are an embarassment to independent, strong women.

    “The natural woman is such a soft-hearted creature, she can have the wool pulled over her eyes. She needs rules to keep her out of trouble. Historically, these were laid down by society. Now, women are being hurt by a lack of rules and a book has to be brought out to train them in some more-prudent attitutudes.” There are so many things wrong with that statement! You are basically regurgitating centuries of stereotypes and bullsh*t. If you feel like you are soft-hearted, great. If you like referring to yourself as a freaking “creature”, great. Speak for yourself, honey, because the women I know are a bit more savvy than you make us out to be.

    “BTW these days being at home with small children is a prestige position. And the hunt for the guys who can afford to let you be there is on.” Whoaaaaaaaaa. I mean, I know some women like to be housewives, but how is that a prestige position? You sound like a gold-digger, no offense. I’m not looking for a rich guy, so I guess I just made the “hunt” easier for ya.

    I don’t mean to completely call you out and dissect what you said line by line, so I’ll just end by saying…you’re entitled to your opinion but I’m really glad there are guys out there who agree that the “Rules” are pretty much BS. I don’t want to play games and I hope to end up with a guy who doesn’t play games either. Maybe some women are delicate little creatures, but I’d like to think we can move outside the gender roles society assigns us and just be ourselves.

    1. Thank you, Dollface, 🙂 (haha weird username to reply to… Makes me feel like I’m flirting with you in the 1950’s)

      The problem here is that it’s a vicious cycle. Guys want to get laid. Period. They propose this straight-up to gals and get shot down for myriad reasons. They learn to LIE TO HER to get her to lay down. Done deal.

      Guys get good at getting gals to do what they want, so someone develops an anti-system to combat this. Their HOPE is that if you stall a guy for three dates, he’ll bail because you’re not putting out. The REALITY is that he’s kicking the same game to like TEN OTHER CHICKS and he couldn’t care less when you come around and give him some. He’s getting laid REGARDLESS of what *you* do.

      If you decide to give this guy some… fine… he’ll take it. 🙂 It’s no big deal though. Whenever she decides to stop frontin’, she could ‘get it’… Assuming she didn’t wait so long that she’s a has-been now and nobody wants that.

      This is why The Rules only works in a vacuum. It works fine for women who are the ONLY sought-after gal in the area, because guys are going to keep coming after her no matter how ridiculously she acts. The rest of the women are going to end up dating Herbs or dating a pint of Haagen-Dazs this weekend.

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