Bill Cammack

Continued from Analyzing “The Rules” [Part 01]

Reader Steve asked for a tactics post in the DatingGenius Suggestion Box, so I thought I’d critique the Top 10 Rules.

4) In an office romance, do not email him back every time he emails you unless it is business related

On all non-business e-mails, responding once for every four of his e-mails is a good rule of thumb. Remember, you never know who has access to your e-mail, so keep all romance off the screen and save it for Saturday nights.

This is good advice if you’re using a company account. Other than that, this makes no sense AT. ALL. :D

I realize that “The Rules” was printed in 1995, so it makes sense for The Flintstones & Andy Griffith to have taken this advice, but in 2009, we not only have FREE personal email accounts, but we have hand-held computers to which we can route all of our correspondence. Assuming you don’t leave your g1, iPhone or Blackberry in the lunchroom, you’re golden.

As far as the actual “respond once to every four of his emails”, that’s easily countered by flooding her with emails. a-DUH!… Just write her four times as much as you want her to respond. *yawn*

Instead of writing “Hey. How’s it going? How was your day? Did you pick up that outfit you told me about? Can’t wait to see you Friday night!!! :D”, you write:

You: “Hey. How’s it going?”
Her: “……………”
You: “How was your day?”
Her: “……………”
You: “Did you pick up that outfit you told me about?”
Her: “……………”
You: “Can’t wait to see you Friday night!!! :D ”
Her: “Me Neither! :D ”

See that? Make every fourth email the important one and send her fluff in between. Simple. *yawn*

On top of that, you’re gonna look pretty stupid sitting across from him at a co-working location while he’s emailing you and you’re not responding to him. :) What’reya gonna do when he actually speaks to you? Ignore every three sentences of his so you supposedly look aloof and in demand? :D

hahaha Speaking of “in demand”, here’s a bonus tip for y’all ladies who like to date guys you work with. Do NOT sit by yourself in the park eating your lunch every day. He knows where you sit. He always checks there.. and you’re always there. Start going to the gym at lunchtime if you honestly don’t have anything to do. That way he can at least fantasize that you’re out on a date with a better man and you can get some CUAO points.

5) If you are in a long distance relationship, he must visit you at least three times before you visit him

Remember, the first three visits are really nothing more than three dates… and on the first three dates we don’t have sex with a man or have him stay at our place overnight.

ok… At first, I thought this rule was really dumb and useless. It doesn’t matter who visits WHOM if the guy’s goal is to get on. It could happen in a box. It could happen with a fox. It could happen with Green Eggs & Ham for all I care.

To make this even MORE useless, all you have to do is stack your visits (see email solution, above) so you get your first three “dates” out of the way, in like, a week, and then you can get down to the nitty gritty, because you’ve jumped through the hoop and passed her test and now she feels good about herself giving up the grand prize.

This is where Flo jumped in with the critical fine-print information that “Rules Girls” aren’t supposed to accept more than one date in a week. I’m willing to take her word for that, so that DOES change the game somewhat.

That means that the long-distance guy has to make THREE SEPARATE TRIPS hahahaha to see this chick. He has to spend 3x the money on travel and housing (since a grown-ass-woman has been disallowed from having a grown-ass-man stay at her house, lest she give it up like she really wants to and spoil the whole CUAO facade).

That also means that the guy has to wait at least four weeks to get on. That’s not a problem for LDRs, because they’ll never run into you while you’re out on the town with your local ladies.

Live it up until date 4 rolls around. At that point, ease back off the chicks for a minute so when you FINALLY hook up with her, it seems like you’ve been waiting this whole time for her to get with the program. :D

6) When considering whether to use personal ads or other dating services, your should place the ad and let men respond to you

It goes back to the basic premise of The Rules: Man pursues woman. When writing your ad, remember that every man has a type, a voice or a look he likes. There has to be a spark for him that attracts him to you, something that makes him find you unexplainably special.

Spot-on advice. :D

Ladies… When it comes to online dating, put your pictures on the account, write a couple of things about yourself and eeeeeeease back! haha There’s no reason for you to TRY to get dates. Just like in real life, your presentation speaks for itself, and guys are going to feel the pressure to step to you before the next man scoops you up.

Having said that, unless you’re physically unattractive, make sure you include BODY shots in your pictures. Those “cropped so close you can only see my eyes and a little bit of hair” pictures make you look like that witch on Bugs Bunny that sneaks up rubbing her hands together, going “Drink It! Drink It!”

You’re creepy. It’s like you’re tryinn’a sneak up on a brotha like “SURPRISE!!!… I’M BUSTED!!!” :D

Cut it out. Make sure you give SOME indication of what kind of physical shape you’re in, besides selecting the checkbox for “Curvy” or “More of me to love”.

If you happen to actually be in shape, you’d better throw that “I want him to want me for my mind” garbage OUT and “Use what you got…. to get what you want!” :D

You can also help your CUAO-ness out by NOT making the same statements all the other women make on dating sites. Think up UNIQUE and INTERESTING things about yourself and write about that. If you don’t know what I mean, browse some of your competition’s pages to find the common statements.

For guys who peruse dating sites and actually read the words, it gets pretty *yawn* to keep seeing “I’m down to Earth” and “I’m not crazy”. It’s like going on JDate and reading that a gal is Jewish. Follow the ladies’ advice and create “a spark for him that attracts him to you, something that makes him find you unexplainably special”.

~Bill

Related Post(s): Analyzing “The Rules” [Part 01] | Analyzing “The Rules” [Part 03]

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