Tips for Chris Brown

First of all, nobody knows what happened (if anything) the other day between Chris Brown & Rihanna. You know how the internet works… Somebody says something and somebody else believes it and reports it as truth then somebody else exaggerates the first “truth” and you end up with all this garbage.

Here’s some of what the Associated Press (AP) reported yesterday:

John Rogers: LOS ANGELES (AP) รขโ‚ฌโ€ Chris Brown, who was arrested a week ago in connection with a domestic violence investigation, said Sunday he is “sorry and saddened” by what happened and is seeking counseling from his pastor and loved ones.

The 19-year-old R&B singer also said much of what has been reported of the incident is untrue, although he did not elaborate.

“Words cannot begin to express how sorry and saddened I am over what transpired. I am seeking the counseling of my pastor, my mother and other loved ones and I am committed, with God’s help, to emerging a better person,” Brown said in a statement issued through publicist Michael Sitrick.

“Much of what has been speculated or reported on blogs and-or reported in the media is wrong,” he added. But he said he couldn’t discuss that in detail until his case is resolved.

Brown surrendered to Los Angeles police on Feb. 8 and was released on $50,000 bail after being booked for investigation of making a criminal threat, a felony. He has not been charged by the district attorney’s office, which is still investigating the case.

His arrest reportedly stemmed from an argument with his girlfriend, fellow singer Rihanna, shortly after they left a pre-Grammy Awards party.

Now.. Other than that, there are a lot of rumors floating around. There’s a lot of SPECULATION about what started the argument, what happened during the argument, what was said during the argument and even what had occurred between them BEFORE that day, as far as physical altercations, none of which appear to stem from actual eye-witness accounts.

So let’s take a few of these rumored situations and discuss ways to deal with them… But first….

Where to start a fight

Photo Credit: TMZ

In case you don’t know what a Lamborghini is, this is what it looks like. It basically looks like a race car that belongs on the track or on television, except it’s rolling down the street like a pink elephant.

I don’t believe there has been one time, EVAR, that I have been in the presence of a Lamborghini and not looked at it until it was ALL THE WAY out of my line of sight. Never.

The point being… If you DID decide to kick someone’s ass and you intend to get away with it, inside a pink elephant with windows is NOT the place to do it. Even if you escape the scene, the witnesses are going to say “Well… I didn’t catch a glimpse of who it was…… but he drove off in a LAMBORGHINI.

On top of that, if you rented the car, you have to RETURN IT, and trust me, if rental places check for damage you caused in a U-Haul (which I know about), they’ll check for damage you caused IN A LAMBORGHINI (which I know nothing about).

ok.. On with the rumors:

Rumor 01: Another dude tapped Rihanna

I think the first rumor I heard about this situation was that the argument was about Rihanna hooking up with another dude. One option in this situation is to get upset and start a fight inside a rented Lamborghini. Another option is to attempt to verify this report, and if it turns out to be true, DUMP HER!… Meaning end the relationship, *not* dump her out of the rolling Lamborghini.

See, people tend to trap themselves in these so-called “relationships” with one person and then they get overly emotionally attached to what that one person does with their time or their bodies. The recognition that you actually have ZERO CONTROL over what your “significant other” does can cause people to temporarily or permanently LOSE IT big-time. There’s no preparing for this. It’s on-the-job training. You can say to somebody a million times “How would you feel if your girl gave it up to the next man?”, and no matter how many times they give you their thoughts on the matter, it’s an entirely different ball game in that split second where they actually BELIEVE it and they aren’t ready to handle it.

It’s important to note in these situations that while you have ZERO control over your S.O., you have 100% control over YOURSELF, which means that you can decide at any time that you’re no longer “in a relationship” with this chick and step to the left. Pull the car over to the sidewalk, give her a bus or subway token and say “Shalom”.

Why this doesn’t usually happen

Your girlfriend hooking up with another dude is most likely a ToS violation, which should result in her dismissal due to breach of contract. This should be especially true in the case of R&B singers. These are the guys that sing the songs that get OTHER. GUYS. LAID!… They shouldn’t have *any* problems getting a new girl TO-DAY, after they (no pun intended) “kick their girl to the curb”.

The problem here is pride. People like to feel proud of their relationships, as if they’ve actually done something. They like to feel like “I’ve got this girl/guy in DEEP CHECK!”. Letting go of the relationship doesn’t make them feel like a winner. It makes them feel like a loser. They feel like they couldn’t hold on to what they had or that someone else TOOK what they had away from them.

Take a step back. Recognize who you are as an individual and if your S.O. doesn’t want to comply with your ToS, let them go do whatever they want and choose a new girl from your groupies backstage at the concert. Seriously. It’s not that big a deal. Let it go.

Rumor 02: Chris got a text from another chick

The next unsubstantiated rumor I heard was that they were driving along, and Chris received a text message from some chick that wanted to hook up with him later on that evening. Somehow, Rihanna found out about this, and beef ensued.

First of all, if you’re the type of dude to a) have a girlfriend and b) still have OTHER girls that you mess with, ACT. AS. IF.:

  1. Act as if your extra girls are going to call you while you’re rolling down the street in a rented Lamborghini.
  2. DO NOT have your phone out in plain sight, where your girl can read the bootie-call message when it flashes on the screen while playing a ringtone from one of your own records about having sex with a girl behind your girlfriend’s back.
  3. DO keep your phone locked at all times.
  4. DO NOT honor your main squeeze’s requests to unlock your phone so she can see.

Unfortunately, even if the text/call you receive is “innocent” & platonic, there is nothing the next chick would like BETTER than to see you break up with your main girl. Nothing. All she needs to hear is that the two of you were spotted leaving XYZ establishment together in a nice car for her to go “OOOOOH!!! I’m gonna call him right now!”. Next thing you know, they’re suspending your commercial endorsement deals.

Question: Whose fault is this?

I just went back and looked over my list of ToS Violations, because I just realized that I left out “raising your hands to him”. I left it out, because stuff like that really doesn’t cross my mind. Getting hit by a chick that I’m messing with, “dating” or even FRIENDS WITH is absolutely unfathomable to me.

Bill Cammack - Unforgivable - February 2006Anybody who’s actually hung out with me knows I’m extremely physical with chicks, in a win-win, “let’s both have a good time” way.

Sometimes, I get ahead of the game plan (not mine haha, hers!) and she’ll give me a verbal or physical notification that I’ve gone out of bounds.

Since my goal is for both of us to have a good time, we’ll talk about the issue, figure out the solution/boundary and then go back to “doing what we do”.

As far as I can recall, I’ve never been slapped by a chick when I didn’t fully deserve it.

Having said that… What I said above goes for WOMEN as much as it goes for men. In the hypothetical situation where your man receives a text message from another chick who wants to hook up with him, your responsibility is to “hold your head” or “maintain” or “keep your wits about you”, because you are NOT authorized to hit him because you lost your %&*#&$@ mind and didn’t know what to do with your nervous energy and suddenly-stressed emotional state other than put your hands up and strike a man.

I spoke about this in October, 2008 in “A Woman’s Place…”. While there are lots of guys that subscribe to “A man should *never* hit a woman under any circumstances”, there are enough men that DO NOT subscribe to this that make it DANGEROUS for women to hit men. Of course, there are also a lot of dangerous WOMEN that MEN don’t want to hit either hahaha, but the point is that being considered smaller or weaker than someone else does NOT give you carte blanche to physically lash out at that person and not expect for there to be consequences & repercussions.

This is why I disagree with elements of this recent Jay Smooth video where he interviews Elizabeth Mendez Berry, who wrote the Vibe magazine’s 2005 “Love Hurts” (PDF) feature about domestic violence within (and without) hip-hop:

4 minutes in, Jay says:

What do you say… I see so many reactions on the blog and stuff and a lot of it comes from women, saying “Well, if you expect to be equal, then if you hit him, you’ve got to expect he’s gonna hit you back. He’s got to be able to defend himself. What do you say to someone who’s looking at it that way?

And part of Elizabeth’s response is (and I understand that this was edited for brevity, so we don’t really know what her entire answer was):

[Edit point]I am responsible for my actions… If I hit my husband, he has every right to be upset with me… But the question is, does he have the right to hit me back? No. Each person is accountable for their own response and the choice that they make. [Edit Point] In a relationship, when you get upset, there’s a ton of different responses you could have. [Edit Point] And the question is… If I’m 5’4″ and I weigh 120 lbs, and my husband’s 6’5″, it’s not an equal and opposite reaction. [Edit Point]

Again… I know those were edited and we don’t know the entirety of what she said on the topic. Responding to the face value of her comments, as I’ve transcribed them in the blockquotes above, the first theory is absolutely wrong and the last statement isn’t a guarantee.

The way it works is… If you’re 5’4″ and your husband is 6’5″, survival instinct should dictate to you not to put your hands on him AT. ALL. Does that make sense?

Think about it this way… If you’re a 5’4″ female and you’re standing next to a 6′ tall female, are you going to put your hands on HER? Nope. Because she’ll beat you to a pulp and you won’t have anything to say about it because you’re both females.

Same thing with guys. Do shorter guys get a pass? Nope. You raise your hands to someone, that means you’re looking for a fight and you may very well get what you want. This is why in professional fighting (Boxing, MMA) they have WEIGHT CLASSES. They don’t allow the Welterweights to fight the Heavyweights. They don’t even allow the Light-Heavyweights to fight the Heavyweights.

So, at face value from the edit, her first theory is absolutely incorrect. The question isn’t whether her husband has the right to hit her back if she hits him. The question is whether she can control herself enough not to put her hands on him OR ANYONE ELSE in the first place.

The last part, where she mentions “equal and opposite reaction” isn’t guaranteed. If you slap somebody, they’re not obliged to slap you back and call it a day. You decided how you were going to start it and they’re going to decide how they want to finish it. This is why the high road in these situations is SELF CONTROL. Be the better man or woman when there’s a problem in your relationship. Recognize the alternatives and apply them when appropriate…. One of which is……..

Call the cops

Bill vs AnnieThat’s right. Call the cops.

If your girl can’t keep her hands to herself and you feel like you’re about to whip up on that ass, do yourself a favor and call the cops.

Turn her in.  Drop dime.

Hitting you is a ToS violation, so you’re going to break up with her anyway, right?.. So who cares if she’s on Rikers or not? Lock her up. BUH-BYE! *waving at helicopter flying away*

Why this doesn’t usually happen

The problem… AGAIN… is pride. Dudes don’t want to look like a chump for calling the cops on some cro-mag female that can’t use her brain well enough to not put her hands on other people… ESPECIALLY people she’s supposed to be in some sort of special relationship with.

Strangely enough, they’re perfectly ok with looking like a chump for beating a chick up. Actually, it’s not even a female issue. They’re perfectly ok with looking like a chump for beating up someone below their weight class.

Let it go, guys. Just admit you made a poor choice in women, dump her, get a new chick and start all over. Turn her in or don’t, but this chick is a problem waiting to happen, so before you’re the next Chris Brown, all up in the tabloids because you couldn’t find a way to have a good time with a chick in a $200,000 sports car, let your next move be your BEST MOVE, return her to wherever you found her and only associate with women who are trying to move their lives AND YOURS in a positive direction.


Twitter: BillCammack
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  1. I’ve had many conversations about CB/Rhi which ultimately lead to conversations about domestic violence. What I’ve heard more often than not is that if a woman raises a hand to a man then she should expect to catch hell for it. Hearing that is a bitter pill, what you’ve written makes the pill even more so and I’m not saying I’m NOT aceepting the pill. Just saying that it messes with my constitution in the sense that I, and probably most of us were raised with the notion that men should NEVER strike women under any circumstance. I guess my question is, if we are all personally responsible for keeping our emotions in check, dealing only in the areas of logic and truth, does that now erase “men should not strike women”? Is this another one of the “old mores” that we should drop by the way side? Because in a relationship (IMO) full disclosure and truth is anomally.

    Sticky, confusing and disturbing.

    1. Hey Soulpowr. ๐Ÿ™‚

      As far as the first part of your comment, the key word is *MOST*.. As in “most of us were raised with the notion that men should NEVER strike women under any circumstance”. That’s all well and good until you run into someone who was NOT raised with that notion.

      All of a sudden, you’re at a distinct disadvantage, because women who are raised to believe that they will never be hit by men tend to also believe they can do whatever they want to men and get away with it. That’s where the problematic overlap occurs. Unfortunately, you won’t really know which kind of man you’re talking to until you hit him…..

      So the first part of my advice would be for women to keep their hands to themselves off of general principle. The second part is that if you just can’t do that and hitting men is something you need to do, MAKE SURE you’re hitting the type of guy that won’t take it to the next level.

      As far as “Does that now erase ‘men should not strike women’?”, this is why I brought up weight classes and professional fighting. If you take women out of the equation entirely, bigger guys shouldn’t fight smaller guys because they have so much of an advantage because of their weight. Force = Mass x Acceleration, so if the other guy has a lot more mass, there will probably be a lot more force to his punches, kicks, whatever.

      What that ALSO means is that smaller guys shouldn’t pick fights with bigger guys. Does that make sense? Smaller guys don’t get to lean on “I’m smaller than him, so he shouldn’t hit me if I hit him”. Similarly, smaller women don’t get to lean on “I’m smaller than this other woman, so she shouldn’t hit me”.

      The point I’m getting at is that people with an obvious advantage over other people, male OR female, shouldn’t attack them. This is known as bullying. This is why people are told “Why don’t you go pick on someone your own size?”. Almost across the board, men tend to date women that are either smaller in size than they are or weaker than they are, physically. By that same definition of “thou shalt not bully people”, guys shouldn’t beat up on girls because it’s an issue of taking advantage… not of a female, but of ANY fellow human being.

      It’s the same issue with holding doors. You’re supposed to hold the door open so a lady can enter or exit the establishment, right?… However, a GENTLEMAN holds the door for WHOMEVER is coming to the door. You don’t let the door slam because it’s a guy. Similarly, not being a bully INCLUDES not hitting women, because you (probably) have a distinct physical advantage over them.

      Having said that, it STILL all comes down to the women in question keeping their hands to themselves. This is why I’m saying that if she can’t be civilized and you can’t get her to leave you alone, call the cops on HER before you feel provoked into doing something that causes HER to call the cops on YOU.

      1. Point taken on the weight class examples, bullying and gentlemen. These make sense to me. Boiling to down to a nugget, think about it what you’re doing, the ramifications can be detrimental to both parties and… keep your d*** hands to yourself. These are easy in theory, not so much in practice, maybe we all need more practice in the thinking and less in the reacting.

        1. It’s *extremely* tough in practice. Being “in a relationship” with someone tends to increase the emotional effect that that person’s actions has on you. It’s really tough to handle… It’s like how baseball players are really good during the regular season, but can’t get a hit during the playoffs. The game is the same, but the circumstances are different.

          On top of that, people are trained that throwing the hands is an acceptable format of expressing one’s emotions. You hear it all the time… “If he does X, I’m gonna slap him”. That comes from two places, a) thinking that’s an acceptable thing for you to do, and b) thinking you’re going to get away with it scot free. Once you run into a guy that doesn’t subscribe to your world-view and lay your hands on him, it might be time for a rude awakening.

          To add insult to injury (and I’ve been putting off my postS about deadbeat dads because of the jacked-up economy), with the high percentage of guys that break north and don’t raise their own children, what makes you think that chivalry’s being passed down through the generations without males present in the household as role models?

          When a guy grows up in a household of sisters and they all lay hands on each other as a natural way of life, what makes you think he’s going to see hitting his girlfriend as anything different from fighting with his older sister, or his younger sister, or his mother?

          You just can’t count on the “Family Values” that you believe in being passed down to the next generation without proper parenting and mentoring.

  2. Interesting points. Here’s a little more detail on my perspective: my statement that my husband shouldn’t hit me back holds true for everybody if it’s not self-defense. Male or female, you need to be able to get out of a dangerous situation. But if it’s not for survival-say a woman smacks me, and I stab her to “teach her a lesson”- we’re both wrong. Even if I smack her with exactly the same force, I’m retaliating, not diffusing. Violence just escalates things at home and abroad (Iraq?). Walk away, get a new girlfriend or boyfriend.

    What I aimed to do in the interview was to put this alleged Chris Brown/Rihanna situation (we don’t know what happened, so I didn’t make any comments about that) in a broader context without demonizing. It’s not about innocent or guilty. It’s about how to get past these unhealthy situations that aren’t good for either person. Men deal with relationship violence too, and women certainly need to unlearn their own violence and be held responsible (that’s why it was important to me to admit to my own in the video). But the numbers are clear: women are the victims in the vast majority of cases (get the pdf of the latest bureau of justice stats for a breakdown Sometimes it seems like people focus on the whole violent female thing in order to avoid talking honestly about the numbers, which are devastating.

    1. Hey Elizabeth. Thanks for joining the conversation. ๐Ÿ™‚

      (For anyone unaware, this is the woman Jay interviewed in the video I embedded above)

      Of course, I agree with you with your smack/stab scenario. Both are wrong, and the reaction’s egregious and entirely uncalled-for. I also agree with the walk-away concept, as I mentioned several times in my post and replies to comments.

      I see what you’re saying and recognize the difference between retaliation and defusal. Using those terms, one of the points I was trying to make in my response to SoulPowr is that there’s no obligation to defuse. This is true in any human relationship, not just “a relationship”. Therefore, my advice is to “let sleeping Giants lie”, or basically not to open the potential floodgate that may lead to retaliation instead of defusal by someone smaller (male or female) attacking someone larger (male or female).

      re: SoulPowr’s statement/question… Would I *LIKE* for everyone to subscribe to “A man should never hit a woman?”, yes. I would like that. I would ALSO like for all women to subscribe to “Keep your hands off of men when you feel like they won’t hit you. Recognize that as them honoring & respecting you and show them that same honor & respect right back”.

      Similarly, when anyone holds the door open for anyone else, that person SHOULD say “Thank You” in respectful response to the respectful gesture of holding the door so they can pass through. It’s not a privilege, you’re being honored to not have to open the door yourself, so be polite/civilized and return the respect that was offered to you first.

      I should have said that I thought you made very good general points about domestic violence situations in the video and I definitely learned something from it. Agreed that we have NO IDEA what went on at this point in time. Also agreed that people need to get past unhealthy situations.

      I heard what you said about your upbringing [paraphrasing] involving/teaching violence. Thanks for bringing that up, because it’s very important. It’s typical for families “around the way”. Kids are trained to only respect power and violence, so there’s “no talking to them”. This inability or refusal to work things out verbally and have respect for someone that won’t slap the $#&% out of them is brought into “romantic relationships” in the future and as you said, isn’t healthy at all.

      I actually had to deal with this one time when I was dating this street-fighter chick. She was very used to violence and liked to use the term “I ought to smack you” or “I feel like smacking you” or something like that. I recognized that she was merely expressing a dislike for something I had said or done, which was mostly making fun of her… nothing physically negative, because that’s not what I hang out with chicks for. This was getting on my nerves, so I verbally walked her through several scenarios of what the predictable future was of her slapping me. One of those potential outcomes was that I’d never speak to her ever again. Since that wasn’t what she wanted, and she actually had no intention of smacking me ANYWAY, she switched up her verbal style and I never heard that line again. We stopped dating ages ago, but we’re still close to this day.

      Thank you for posting the link to the BoJ stats ( I do think people focus on “the whole violent female thing” in order to get over in court, etc. That wasn’t my intention with my post at all. Actually, I wasn’t going to post about this situation AT ALL until I saw Jay’s video. I’m a fan of his work and he always has intelligent things to say about important topics.

      Bill Cammack & Jay Smooth

      The reason I frame things the way I do, pretty much throughout my entire DatingGenius blog is that I feel that women place themselves at an EXTRAORDINARY DISADVANTAGE by not recognizing the lengths that men *might* go to when it comes to getting laid or “keeping your girl in check”. I certainly detest violence in relationships, because that’s not why people are claiming to get together. They’re claiming to get together to support each other and carry each other in a positive direction. However, women do themselves a disservice by believing that ALL men subscribe to “Never hit a woman”. As you’ve linked in your comment and discussed in your interview video, the statistics show that there are LOTS OF GUYS that hit women, and that’s what I want y’all to recognize and be prepared for.

      I also agree with what you were saying about escalation. If it happens once, it’s going to happen again. That’s why I knew I was going to excommunicate my girl if she couldn’t keep her hands to herself. I don’t need to associate with primitive people, ESPECIALLY in my inner circle. If she couldn’t step up to the plate and carry herself in a civilized manner, she needed to vamoose. Similarly, when women recognize that their men can’t control themselves, they need to LEAVE. When men recognize that their women can’t control themselves, they need to LEAVE.

      Thanks again for commenting, Elizabeth. ๐Ÿ˜€

  3. Im kinda torn on commenting here. As i have privately explained to BM, I come from a situation where domestic abuse was as routine as rice and beans in a Prican home. My mom was a victim to my fathers hand play for years and I fully agree THERE IS NEVER A REASON TO STRIKE A WOMAN.

    Having said that, I also must confess to be raised in Spanish Harlem during the 80’s and 90’s, crack hell central. I was raised by both my mom and dad to NEVER back down from anyone and to defend myself at all times. I will say I have been lucky enough to read a book and to know that the world was bigger than my four corners BUT what do you say to those less fortunate? My parents never said, defend yourself unless its a girl, they simply said defend yourself. I remember clearly one day (in like the 5th grade or something) where a girl pushed me and I pushed back. All my teacher saw was when i shoved her to the side and he told my mom. I did not get in any trouble for this because my mom simply said “well she started”!

    You take a different youth with out the ability to see beyond his immediate surroundings and that lack of consequence can easily lead to an adult (teenage) life of slapping woman around.

    C. Brown comes from a situation where his step father would abuse his mother. Seeing that and saying I’ll never do that are completely different than saying I’ll never do that but not knowing how to respond when actually faced with being in an escalating type of situation. and BTW, this is not exclusive to men.

    For those that are not aware, she is on record as having admitted to assaulting her own brother in the past. Part of her victim statement was acknowledging that this was not the first time he did this. According to her (and her own words) the first time he pushed/hit her was in response to her having slapped him. Does anyone see the problem there? She slapped him. By defenition he was protecting himself but because he is the man he should have known better. **I hate to admit that part of me agrees but the level headed part says that this is extremely unfair.**

    Please keep in mind that having come from that situation myself i hate that I can even say that. I hate that my mom was a victim but I hate MORE that I have on several occasions said she made it worse. I really hate that I can even think that. Had it been two guys this would not be a discussion.

    1. Deep stuff, dude.

      See, certain things are dependent upon other things, but then people get too comfortable with the effect and forget about the cause. The CAUSE for “A man should never hit a woman” is that the woman is ACTING LIKE A LADY. As long as she plays her position, and doesn’t cause any physical trouble, the EFFECT is that no man should hit her.

      The problem is, when you get women that want to throw the hands with men to begin with, it’s like you said, self defense is taught without exclusionary rules. By taking themselves outside of the realm of ACTING LIKE A LADY, they sometimes don’t get TREATED LIKE LADIES. They get treated like men.

      Like I’ve been saying, the best situation is where people are mutually respectful of each other and keep their hands to themselves. Just today, some dude got punched in the face by his girl and turned her in:

      [The Chick] hit him “with a closed fist, thereby causing informant to suffer a laceration below informant’s left eye and substantial pain,” the criminal complaint he filed with police charges.

      See that? Just like I said. Call the cops. Turn her in. He did the right thing.

      Unfortunately, as you mention, not everyone can just leave whomever’s being abusive. In those cases, we can just hope for the best for them.

  4. BTW: I want who ever is reading this to understand…I DO NOT ADVOCATE domestic/spousal abuse.
    Yes, C.Brown comes from a family history of this kind of violence but one point that no one seems interested in bringing up is… MAYBE (just maybe) SO DOES SHE.

    The facts are she is on record as having assaulted her brother and admitting to being the first one to deliver a blow in this relationship. Her father is on record as saying that he is ok with them getting back together. Im just being a low budget analyst here but this smacks of her background also involving violence.

    I know girls, who because they were raised in that situation, who swear that they will never be the one to be smacked around. They are so determined to not ever let a man put a hand on them that they lose perspective during what should be a simple argument. As the argument escalates, these girls will start to brace themselves for what the percieved actions will be to the point that they land the firts blow in a situation that was nothing more than a simpel lovers quarrel. I believe that they lose their ability to comprehend what is happening and immediately attach it to their child hood memeories of their own mother being beat. Again, no man will ever do that to me!!
    I see thsi all the time and I live with it. My sister has been known to fly off the handle with her boyfriends in situations where every one else agreed that it was a simple argument but she decided that if it were to escalate she would be doing the escalating.

    Im not condoning his behavior but i do fully believe that these are two young people who both need help.

    BTW: If he had gone public the first time she struck him and said it was over because of that, in the ghetto hip hop world he resides, he would have been labeled a punk amongst other things. General thought amongst his demographic would have been “shyt, let her slap you if you still getting that azz at night”!!

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