There’s been a lot of talk this week about what a guy should and shouldn’t do when his girl acts up. The majority of people who chimed in said “A man should *never* hit a woman”. Fewer people remarked “If she raises her hands like a man, she should be prepared to get dealt with like a man”. The way I see it… If you even have to THINK about fighting with your “significant other”, you’re dating the wrong person.
Here are my top 5 tips on how to NOT let your girl stress you out:
1) Get more girls
Did you ever notice that every time we hear about some kind of male vs. female violence, it’s always some dude that only has ONE chick? Think about that. When was the last time you heard of a guy that had multiple girlfriends getting into something physical with one of them? Never.
That’s because that guy has CHOICE. He has OPTIONS. If one chick’s trippin’ out, you just don’t talk to her until she gets her mind right. Case closed. *wiping hands* If she doesn’t get her mind right… Who cares? You’re still living the life you want to live, except SHE’S not involved in it.
Guys with one chick can’t afford this “I don’t need her, I’ll let the welfare feed her” mental state. When you remove a gal from the roster, it makes a huge difference whether you’re going from 4 girlfriends to 3 or from 1 girlfriend to 0. Zero Women is a state or condition that you want to avoid at all costs. Women come in handy from time to time, and it’s extremely stressful when you’re like “D-OH! Don’t Got None!”.
Because guys can’t afford to lose their last chick, if they only have one left, they tend to let things slide that otherwise would have gotten that gal excommunicated. These situations build up and build up until sometimes, unfortunately, the guy gets so stressed out that he flips the %&$# out and does something retarded and regrettable.
When you have more than one girlfriend, and one of them starts jumping up and down on your last nerve… Stop talking to her. Lose her number for a month or two. If she wants to know what happened, man up and tell her why she’s “persona non grata”. After that, it’s her choice to amend her behavior and be readmitted or keep acting like a jerk and get her kicks somewhere else. Either way, you end up interacting with ONLY women that want to have a good time with you, which is what life’s all about! ;)
2) Date chicks with low self-esteem
If you insist on just having one chick… or you just can’t stand to listen to how more than one woman’s day was within a 24-hour period, make sure you select one with low self-esteem.
The only thing worse than “Zero Women” for a guy is “Zero Men” for a gal. Women have it easy here in the USA. All they have to do is a) look good, and b) go outside, and they can have a boyfriend. Not being in a relationship is extremely stressful for women who aren’t comfortable with themselves as-is. They worry about why the high school dropout girl (with the bangin’ body) that flips burgers at the fast food restaurant has her boyfriend waiting to pick her up when her shift is over, and they don’t have anyone when they have three degrees and are CEOs of their own successful startups.
So make sure you’re dating a gal that wants to avoid “Zero Men” at all costs, and you’re in there like Belvedere. She’s much more likely to pay attention and follow the rules. There are at least two problems with this though. First of all, it might be really boring dating a chick that always does what she’s supposed to do. Second, it could backfire on you if she gets really desperate and aggressive when she feels like she’s heading for “Zero Men” status. So you want her to not be a troublemaker, but at the same time, you want her to have her own life outside of spending time with YOU.
3) Hannle yo bidnezz in the bedroom
Chicks aren’t troublemakers by nature… They’re just bored. They think to themselves “Hmm… I’m bored, and I don’t know how to play SOCOM or HALO, so let me get my man to take out the trash!”
Fortunately for you, women are easily distracted by sex.
Hit it proppah and her thought process becomes “I’m gonna get my man to….. OH, he’s watching the game! Let me take out that pesky trash myself!”. Came home late, and she’s running her mouth? Give her some “special attention” and watch her attitude dissipate into thin air.
4) Drink alcoholic beverages
When a woman gets on your nerves, nothing calms you down more than forgetting that you ever met her. :) Joe & Riccardi recommend scotch. I like beer, or especially tequila. Maybe my nervous system doesn’t work properly, because Heavy Metal calms me down and R&B makes me feel upset… but tequila smooths me out and makes everything light & breezy… ahhhhhh.
Don’t overdo it though, by going for aggressive beverages including rum or vodka. You’re aiming for “I know she said something, but I’m really not sure what it was….”, not “WHAT???… WHAT DID SHE SAY TO ME???”
Also, before utilizing this technique, make sure you have the numbers of several car service or cab companies. If you run out of beer, you’ll need a way to get her out of your crib without drinking and driving before the alcohol wears off.
5) Screen women before dating them
Now I know you met her at the party and she was looking “Good Than A Mug” and all that, but hold your horses. Step to the left and break out your g1 right quick so you can Google her. You should immediately see GirlYou’reTryingToKickItTo.com as well as a couple of the Social Media sites she frequents.
If all she has is a Myspace account, well… You know what time THAT is. Act accordingly. If she’s on Facebook, she’s probably legit. Linkedin? RATHER legit! OTOH, if she’s ghost on the internet, that’s normally not a good sign haha. I mean, it’s not a dealbreaker, like as if she doesn’t own a Macbook Pro, but it probably indicates that there are no checks & balances.
With all the connectivity we have in 2009, there’s just about no reason to date anyone that NOBODY that you know is willing to or able to vouch for. Make sure you get your e-Stalk on SOONER rather than LATER so you don’t end up in the tabloids!