How to NOT let your girl stress you out

There’s been a lot of talk this week about what a guy should and shouldn’t do when his girl acts up. The majority of people who chimed in said “A man should *never* hit a woman”. Fewer people remarked “If she raises her hands like a man, she should be prepared to get dealt with like a man”. The way I see it… If you even have to THINK about fighting with your “significant other”, you’re dating the wrong person.

Here are my top 5 tips on how to NOT let your girl stress you out:

1) Get more girls

More GirlsDid you ever notice that every time we hear about some kind of male vs. female violence, it’s always some dude that only has ONE chick? Think about that. When was the last time you heard of a guy that had multiple girlfriends getting into something physical with one of them? Never.

That’s because that guy has CHOICE. He has OPTIONS. If one chick’s trippin’ out, you just don’t talk to her until she gets her mind right. Case closed. *wiping hands* If she doesn’t get her mind right… Who cares? You’re still living the life you want to live, except SHE’S not involved in it.

Guys with one chick can’t afford this “I don’t need her, I’ll let the welfare feed her” mental state. When you remove a gal from the roster, it makes a huge difference whether you’re going from 4 girlfriends to 3 or from 1 girlfriend to 0. Zero Women is a state or condition that you want to avoid at all costs. Women come in handy from time to time, and it’s extremely stressful when you’re like “D-OH! Don’t Got None!”.

Because guys can’t afford to lose their last chick, if they only have one left, they tend to let things slide that otherwise would have gotten that gal excommunicated. These situations build up and build up until sometimes, unfortunately, the guy gets so stressed out that he flips the %&$# out and does something retarded and regrettable.

When you have more than one girlfriend, and one of them starts jumping up and down on your last nerve… Stop talking to her. Lose her number for a month or two. If she wants to know what happened, man up and tell her why she’s “persona non grata”. After that, it’s her choice to amend her behavior and be readmitted or keep acting like a jerk and get her kicks somewhere else. Either way, you end up interacting with ONLY women that want to have a good time with you, which is what life’s all about! 😉

2) Date chicks with low self-esteem

If you insist on just having one chick… or you just can’t stand to listen to how more than one woman’s day was within a 24-hour period, make sure you select one with low self-esteem.

The only thing worse than “Zero Women” for a guy is “Zero Men” for a gal. Women have it easy here in the USA. All they have to do is a) look good, and b) go outside, and they can have a boyfriend. Not being in a relationship is extremely stressful for women who aren’t comfortable with themselves as-is. They worry about why the high school dropout girl (with the bangin’ body) that flips burgers at the fast food restaurant has her boyfriend waiting to pick her up when her shift is over, and they don’t have anyone when they have three degrees and are CEOs of their own successful startups.

So make sure you’re dating a gal that wants to avoid “Zero Men” at all costs, and you’re in there like Belvedere. She’s much more likely to pay attention and follow the rules. There are at least two problems with this though. First of all, it might be really boring dating a chick that always does what she’s supposed to do. Second, it could backfire on you if she gets really desperate and aggressive when she feels like she’s heading for “Zero Men” status. So you want her to not be a troublemaker, but at the same time, you want her to have her own life outside of spending time with YOU.

3) Hannle yo bidnezz in the bedroom

Chicks aren’t troublemakers by nature… They’re just bored. They think to themselves “Hmm… I’m bored, and I don’t know how to play SOCOM or HALO, so let me get my man to take out the trash!”

Fortunately for you, women are easily distracted by sex.

Hit it proppah and her thought process becomes “I’m gonna get my man to….. OH, he’s watching the game! Let me take out that pesky trash myself!”. Came home late, and she’s running her mouth? Give her some “special attention” and watch her attitude dissipate into thin air.

4) Drink alcoholic beverages

B.C. & L.C.When a woman gets on your nerves, nothing calms you down more than forgetting that you ever met her. 🙂 Joe & Riccardi recommend scotch. I like beer, or especially tequila. Maybe my nervous system doesn’t work properly, because Heavy Metal calms me down and R&B makes me feel upset… but tequila smooths me out and makes everything light & breezy… ahhhhhh.

Don’t overdo it though, by going for aggressive beverages including rum or vodka. You’re aiming for “I know she said something, but I’m really not sure what it was….”, not “WHAT???… WHAT DID SHE SAY TO ME???”

Also, before utilizing this technique, make sure you have the numbers of several car service or cab companies. If you run out of beer, you’ll need a way to get her out of your crib without drinking and driving before the alcohol wears off.

5) Screen women before dating them

Now I know you met her at the party and she was looking “Good Than A Mug” and all that, but hold your horses. Step to the left and break out your g1 right quick so you can Google her. You should immediately see GirlYou’ as well as a couple of the Social Media sites she frequents.

If all she has is a Myspace account, well… You know what time THAT is. Act accordingly. If she’s on Facebook, she’s probably legit. Linkedin? RATHER legit! OTOH, if she’s ghost on the internet, that’s normally not a good sign haha. I mean, it’s not a dealbreaker, like as if she doesn’t own a Macbook Pro, but it probably indicates that there are no checks & balances.

With all the connectivity we have in 2009, there’s just about no reason to date anyone that NOBODY that you know is willing to or able to vouch for. Make sure you get your e-Stalk on SOONER rather than LATER so you don’t end up in the tabloids!


Twitter: BillCammack
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    1. YAZZIR! haha Agreed. 🙂

      If you can get #5 right, you can pretty much ignore all the rest of them, because you end up with a great chick from the giddyap. However, #1 and #4 are great as fail-safe options! 😀

  1. Haha, riiight. On #1 what you hear about is the guy getting dumped, the girls going at each other or body parts getting chopped off. o_O

    “Because guys can’t afford to lose their last chick, if they only have one left, they tend to let things slide that otherwise would have gotten that gal excommunicated.”

    That’s a weak guy IMO. Be alone for awhile until you find another than keep a piece of trash just to have “something”. Makes a dude look desperate.

    On #2 – Chicks with low self-esteem tend to be clingy and needy. Watch yourself because that can conflict with #1. Clingy women are a PIA.

    “When a woman gets on your nerves, nothing calms you down more than forgetting that you ever met her.”

    Couldn’t help but crack up on that one! LMAO

    1. Thanks Marlene. 🙂

      Don’t laugh TOO MUCH of it off, now… Wouldn’t want your S.O. to excommunicate you for breach of contract!… Either that or charge you for depreciation. 😀

  2. I once heard a wise, older man say something I’ve never forgotten. “The purpose of a girlfriend is to make you feel good. The second they stop making you feel good, drop ’em!”

    And I concur with Mr. White’s observation on low self-esteem. Is there anything worse than a chick who’s depressed and feeling crappy about herself, so she wants to bend your ear about her problems? And of course, there’s nothing you can say that won’t make her feel worse. Oh, man just kill me now.

    1. Well, you could have made up a better fake name than “Anonymous”, but thanks for the comment! 😀

      As upsetting as the concept you bring up may be to women, they need to recognize that as a potential description of their current “relationship”. One of the reasons women get dumped without warning is that they became more of a hassle than fun or a turn-on or whatever the reason was the guy started dating them in the first place.

      As far as the low self-esteem section, I was going to say “broke chicks”, but I already blogged about that and wanted to try something different. Both of youse might be right. In the long run, women that don’t think much of themselves aren’t the ones you want to spend time with… but then again, most times, in these situations, we’re not talking about “the long run” anyway. 🙂

  3. I like #3. It’s so true. In fact that was a huge problem in my last relationship. He didn’t “hannel his bidnezz in the bedroom” so I was more apt to find little things that made me annoyed with him. On the rare occasion he did “hannel his Bidnezz” my attitude was more like La La laaaaaa, I really don’t mind cleaning up after him… la la laaaaa, he didn’t fix (blank or blank) like he said, oh well, I’m on cloud 9 here and I don’t give a shit.

    Then a week would go by… then another week, and seriously a good bedroom sesh can hold me over for at the most, 4 or 5 days, then… things start to annoy me.

    I still can’t believe when the solution is pretty much just sex he was arguing against it. And I’ll note that I am not gross, or overweight or have let myself go since we started dating. I am pretty freakin hot if I do say so myself. GAH! So frusterating. Needless to say, things ended a week ago.

    1. Hey Carrie! 😀

      Sorry to hear about the breakup, but, on to bigger & better things, no? 😉

      I find it really strange what some people’s concept of “being in a relationship” is. Of course, lots of people find MY definition to be strange, haha. People set up these so-called “relationships” and then don’t act any differently towards each other than when they were “just friends”. It’s like, this person has expressed interest in you and made themselves available to you and all you want to do is waste their time. It’s almost as if all they wanted was the title “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”, and as soon as they get it, that’s the END of the show instead of the BEGINNING. :/

      Take care of your ladies, gentlemen, and make sure you’re still floating their boats, or you’ll be the next ones becoming EXes.

  4. No kidding. In my mind, if I am getting less action while in a committed relationship than when I am single… there is a huge problem here.

    Also, to me, moving in together = WAY MORE OPPORTUNITIES TO MESS AROUND. Am I right, or am I right? Things went the opposite way and therefore, things started to “not work out” .

    1. That’s *entirely* my point, C. 🙂

      The reasons for someone to declare they’re “in a relationship” with someone else are a) to secure greater access to that person, and b) to block other people’s access to that person. Once you’ve done that, the question becomes what you’re going to do with that VIP access that makes it worth BOTH of your whiles to be “together”.

      Same thing with moving in together. The goal isn’t to save rent for both people by splitting the costs. That’s called ROOMMATES. Those are available on Craig’s List. Moving in is supposed to be your chance to AMP UP the relationship, not mute it. It’s also an audition for how life’s gonna be when/if you take it to that next step of marriage. If it’s already cooled off in the bedroom before y’all are even married (considering how married folks are often like “YIKES!!! :O Where’d the SEX go?”), that’s not a good sign AT ALL. 🙁

  5. Okay Bill since you took the time to call me out here from Twitter, I”m gonna have to reply. But you know it’s not going to be easy because you’ve introduced not one but about ten propositions many of which demand individual responses.

    #1 You wrote: “If you even have to THINK about fighting with your “significant other”, you’re dating the wrong person.”

    Bill, I can’t imaging having a relationship that didn’t involve arguments. I admit they shouldn’t get physical. And maybe I should have learned not to argue. But the only answer for me if I have to have a relationship with no arguments is to become a nun. Not cool.

    #2 you write “Get more girls.” I don’t quite get this. To tell you the truth that would be my strategy, were I single, for handling a guy who was not in some way or another delivering what I wanted, but I never would be willing to be just one of a number of girls a guy was dating, unless he kept the others a secret.

    A guy did once pull this “I’m also dating someone else” on me when we weren’t getting along. I was like, angry, hurt, and then that was the end. No negotiation on that stuff. Relationship over. This may sound like a double standard, and it is. So sue me.

    #3 you wrote “date chicks with low self esteem.” I guess I agree with anonomous unless of course you’re talking *relatively* low self esteem. As in, don’t date women who believe they’re god’s gift to men, date normal ones. That would make sense.

    #4 you wrote “Handle yo bizness.” You got that right.

    #5 You advised to get drunk. I think the guy I spoke about in #2 spent an entire summer drunk after her realized that there was no retreat from his recourse to “get more girls.” It’s a coping strategy, okay, I give you that, and you did put in the requite caution against drunk driving.

    #6 You said not to date people who aren’t on FB or other social media sites. I think it would be great to find someone who’s not into social media. In fact, I did. D has just developed his online self to checking email daily. And that’s fine, really. But then again, I’m not in NYC.

    Now … of to retweet the link … and await your reply, which makes commenting here so worth it.

    1. Hey Sonja! 😀 *waves*

      #1: Yes, I should have specifically stated “physically fighting”. You always have to fight in relationships, like when she wants to watch a “Chick Flick”. 🙂

      #2: Another important clarification. Thanks. I didn’t state whether the guy should get more girls and keep it a secret or get more girls and let it be known that he doesn’t need you and will let the welfare feed you.

      In general, I would advocate the latter… letting chicks know what time it is ahead of time. Most of the time, the reality is that guys can’t pull this off successfully, so they hide all their women from each other. Even in this case, it’s really best to let at least one of them know what’s going on so that if the house of cards comes tumbling down, you “only” lose all the women that didn’t know they weren’t the only one.

      As far as your situation, we all have requirements that we bring to the table when we negotiate “relationships”. Exclusivity was one of yours, so I completely understand your bailing out. Of course, he should have known this was going to happen and given you a DIFFERENT excuse so he could have remained in the pocket. 😀

      #3: Yes, that’s a highly unpopular selection, across the board hahaha. I should have stuck to my initial instincts and stayed with “broke chicks”, but, c’est la vie.

      #4: It seems the ladies are all on board with being taken care of, treated like a lady and made to “feel like a natural woman”! 😉

      #5: Yes, I imagine that fumbling and losing a chick has driven many guys to drink, haha except I was talking about drinking if she WON’T go away, not if she actually DID.

      #6: Yeah, I can imagine that in the sticks, it wouldn’t be that important to date people with an e-stalkable online presence. It would actually be more beneficial to you to know if he’s good at the mechanical bull or line-dancing.

      However… Here in NYC, the game moves too quickly for all that. You need to figure out who that is, who she’s dated already, why they’re not dating anymore, what she was into while they were dating, who she works for, who she works WITH, which clique(s) she’s aligned with, whether she drinks, HOW MUCH she drinks and whether she can handle it before you can make an educated decision on how to proceed. 😀

  6. “Mechanical Bull” haha. That might be what some guys in New York are riding … or being! But I’ve never seen one. We do have a huge honky tonk club in Fort Worth (Yes Virginia there is a Billy Bob’s) but overall we don’t think of ourselves as “the sticks.”

    One thing I have to add here is that there’s a lot here of the idea that people are interchangeable … “get more girls” … “check their facebook account” … “If it’s going badly, get drunk.” These are all strategies for finding any warm body for anything and calling it a relationship. A real relationship is always too high stakes to use “strategies” because it’s always individual and therefore non-replaceable.

    they have a term in Italian, “Anima Gemele” which means “soul twin.” I think that’s a better term than our English “soul mate” because it means there is only one. I think people are looking for their “anima gemele” and get distracted by unsatisfactory relationships in the meantime, mistreat other people in various ways and then explain it by blaming the other person. When the real problem is you’re having relationships with people you don’t really have much in common with.

    1. hehe In fairness, I just knew you were from Texas, and I didnt’ know what part, so no direct offense to DFW was intended, hahaha 😀

      As far as gals (or guys) being interchangeable in dating, that’s a good call, and it’s absolutely the truth. This is why I stress as often as I can to women that they need to work on their PERSONALITIES, because their minds are the only things that are going to separate them from the pack.

      Meanwhile, women focus on the wrong thing, which is their looks. Looks only get you in the door… Looks don’t keep you in the game. There’s a difference between GETTING a guy and KEEPING a guy, which is what personality-deficient women tend to find out. Guys will play around with them for a while, but when it’s time to “get serious”, they look for women that they really enjoy AS PEOPLE and that they’d spend time with even if they weren’t in a romantic relationship with them.

      So what happens is that you end up with a lot of available women who don’t, won’t or can’t distinguish themselves as someone that’s worth settling down with. You also end up with a lot of guys who don’t give a damn whether a gal’s worth settling with, so long as she looks good and does the right things.

      When you have a combination like that, women wonder where they are in their relationships, because they feel like things should be progressing to titles and living together and engagament and marriage. Meanwhile, the guy’s just glad to have “a girl” that turns them on and that’s as far as they’ve thought into their so-called “relationship”.

      So, yes.. In a perfect world, everyone would be looking for their “Anima Gemella”, but if you look at society, you’ll see that the porno industry will not stop making money because guys are into T&A. Therefore, guys will be continually willing to let women believe they’re in a relationship with them in order to gain access to them and potentially even exclusive access.

      However, my main point in bringing this stuff up is that putting all of your eggs in one basket increases the stress on a guy. The reason you want to screen her ahead of time (#5) is that if you insist on doing that, you should be sure that you’re becoming involved with someone intelligent, sensible and worth your time, not just someone that you’re attracted to and want to hook up with.

      Lack of the ability or willingness to communicate leads to stress building up and sometimes being released in violent and unfortunate outbursts. IMO, distancing oneself from a troublemaking or uncooperative female is a way better alternative to getting into a physical fight with her. Guys are much more willing to do this when they already have other women on deck than if this is the last chick they have available to them on the planet.

  7. Dear Bill:

    I just want to clarify one thing. I am a Northern California girl, from north of San Francisco about 70 miles; I grew up in a college town. I am not from Texas, we came here because of my husband’s career.

  8. Dude you do know that if you handle the sack biz and do so very well…
    thats just going to lead to problems if you have more than one chick and are making it known. To really keep a girl from stressing you out you have to have several woman but only mention maybe one or two AND handle that shyt to your selfish, one way and thats YOUR way best. Let them think that fighting for you or with you is not worth the hassle.If you blast them correctly and have them know theres more than one… PROBLEMS!

    AGAIN: people i really am a nice guy! lol

    1. Unfortunately, that defeats the purpose of having more than one chick if you’re going to put in half-assed work on them so they don’t get too attached, haha 😀

      You bring up a good point, though.. Which is that #1 only works when you’re messing with girls you can actually get rid of and they STAY “gotten rid of”.

      This is normally achieved by dating women that don’t live anywhere near you so it’s a hassle for them to come around and get in your business while you’re kickin’ it with other chicks. It’s also good to date broke chicks, because they can’t afford the bus, subway or cab fare from where they live to around your way.

      Obviously, you’d have to also avoid women with their own means of transportation.

      Also, I don’t believe I advocated (if you can point it out, I’ll correct this line) actually TELLING the other chicks that they’re not the only one. Edit: Frank points out later in the comments that I DID advocate letting women know what time it is in my response to Sonja, above. What I said was MAKE SURE she’s not the only one, so it doesn’t matter to you whether she trips out or not. All she has to know is that she acted up and now you’re ghost. When she wants to act right, she can get another chance. Until then, she can go meet other dudes or enjoy the Haagen-Dazs.

  9. In your response to sonja (#2), it appears you suggest letting it be known. maybe im not fully understanding.

    1. Yes. You’re right. I said that in response to Sonja:

      #2: Another important clarification. Thanks. I didn’t state whether the guy should get more girls and keep it a secret or get more girls and let it be known that he doesn’t need you and will let the welfare feed you.

      In general, I would advocate the latter… letting chicks know what time it is ahead of time. Most of the time, the reality is that guys can’t pull this off successfully, so they hide all their women from each other. Even in this case, it’s really best to let at least one of them know what’s going on so that if the house of cards comes tumbling down, you “only” lose all the women that didn’t know they weren’t the only one.

      It’s *ALWAYS* best to have all your cards on the table. However, the very next thing I said was “Most of the time, the reality is that guys can’t pull this off successfully”, which is essentially the same thing you stated in your response.

      See, (and I’m saying this more for the general reader’s benefit than your own), guys in general want more than one chick. They also can’t figure out how to make that happen for themselves without it blowing up in their faces, so they choose one chick and try to “cheat” behind her back. What I’m saying is that in a perfect world, a guy could explain the situation to a chick TRUTHFULLY, and she could choose to either GET DOWN or LAY DOWN. Being that women are not only brainwashed by society but actually genetically predisposed to wanting to be with ONE guy (to have kids with, provide food and protect their offspring), this normally won’t get over, so the “perfect world” scenario doesn’t often play out.

      So yes, thanks for pointing this out. I was talking about a scenario that most guys will never experience in their entire lives, even though it’s really the best solution for everyone involved.

    1. hahaha Gotsta avoid that STRESS man! 😀

      You just reminded me. We need a new Street Fighter game..

      Chris Brown vs. Elin Woods! 😀 hahaha FIGHT! 😀

  10. really????? people get married and they r happy n u tell men to have multiple girlfriends or have low esteem girls??????? you are a looser. im sure that you are dying for a girl that u cant have and thats why you find your way out by doing bad things. and the worst is that you are teaching others to do the same

    1. Hey Alina. Thanks for the comment. 🙂

      This post is about dating, not “Happily-Married People”.

      My point is that if you only have one girl, you get into stressful situations, trying to get her to do what you want to do, and you can avoid all that by having SEVERAL girlfriends, so everybody does what they want to do.

      If some chick doesn’t feel like hooking up with you, fine.. You don’t have to dump her. Just get other chicks to hook up with, and enjoy whatever it is that you enjoy with the first gal.

      It’s the idea that someone else has control over YOUR happiness that doesn’t work in relationships.

      You shouldn’t have to beg, plead, cheat, and bribe people into doing what you want to do with them.

      If they’re not down, fine. Who cares? \o/ Do it with someone else.

      As far as Happily-Married people.. If they’re HAPPILY-MARRIED, they’re getting everything they want from their “significant other”, so why would they bother creating more relationships with other people? o_O

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