Web: BillCammack.com
Business: Bill C. Quality Control
Facebook: Bill Cammack
Twitter: @BillCammack
eMail: BillCammack
Phone: +1.347.767.5922
Morning-After Conduct
If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my blog via RSS feed or by eMail. Thanks for visiting! ~Bill
ok. So you went to the tech conference COUGHsxswCOUGH and you got your drink on and hooked up with that chick, right ;) …
Except the conference isn’t OVER YET, so you actually have to see her the next day ( hate it when THAT happens! :D ).
Here are your top 5 options on how to deal when you run into her today:
Act like you liked it when you didn’t
When your eyes meet, look at her like ” HEYYYYY! :D ” and smile. Extend your right hand so she extends hers, clasp it and use your left hand to pat her on the back. Pull her in close to you for a hug and whisper in her ear “That ish was the bomb last night, yo. Good Lookin’ Out.”
She will feel accomplished and your job is done. You’re now only responsible for winking at her a couple of times and some minor waves from across the room.
Act like you didn’t like it when you did
Calm down. Stop thinking about it. Hold your breath if you need to… Helps you focus on reality, right-now. Give her a nice hug. Remember to let her go. Small-talk with her, then say something like “You know… We got really DRUNK together last night…” or “I really don’t want last night to come between us and our friendship” or “I care about you too much blah blah blah we shouldn’t do that ever again”.
Try to sound sincere when you’re saying this. If you hear your voice trembling because you’re lying, drink some water. Also, if you feel like you’re starting to get aroused again as soon as you see her, skip the “hug” part.
Act like it didn’t happen
Some people have the ability to drink alcohol until their long-term memory gets erased. I mean… That’s what I heard.
Use this to your advantage. Make sure that you have a drink in your hand BEFORE you kick it to her. That way, she can’t tell how blitzed you were before the fact. Also, remember what you talked about with her and how you felt BEFORE you told her to meet you in the ladies’ room.
Now… When you see her coming, access that memory from before you hooked up with her and act like that was the last time you ever saw her. Got that? ok, Good. Look at her, smile and wave at her like a platonic friend. Give her a basic two-arm hug with no kiss on the cheek. Squeeze her tight. Let her go. Look her in the eye and go:
” So… What’d YOU do last night? :D ”
Act like you don’t remember her
Just in case you don’t think you can pull off “Act like it didn’t happen”, roll your relationship all the way back to never having met her IRL at all.
When you see her, dont’ smile. Get this ??? look, like “Is that my Facebook friend, whomever?”, but you’re not really sure if it’s her or not. Prepare a derivative of her name. Like, if her name’s “Annie”, when you get within earshot (nowhere near her), yell out “Annette?”
When her face twists up, like “What’s this idiot talking about?”, go ” It’s ME, [name]… We’re Facebook friends! Nice to meet you, finally, in person! :D ”
This is why you want to start this technique far away. If she believes you forgot her, she’s going to be disappointed. If she thinks you’re trying to get over, she’s going to be MAD! :D Figure this out before you get within arm’s reach so you can decide whether to continue walking towards her or break hard right and call Maverick for backup.
Tell the truth
This is the least-utilized Morning-After option. I mean, actually, the most utilized option is Emergency Contraceptive Pills but that’s a different topic.
If it was good, and you don’t mind her knowing that you’re SPRUNG and riding her bra-strap now, fess up and let her know how good a time you had and how you haven’t stopped thinking about it this whole time. Hopefully, she’ll be honest with you too and it goes where it goes….
If it wasn’t good, I guess you could still use “Act like you didn’t like it”, except you wouldn’t be acting. There are basically two ways you can carry this. You can go the “let her down easy” route, with some kind of “It’s not you, it’s me” statement. This is basically a copout, unless it really WAS you and you didn’t REP-RE-SENT last night! hahaha :D
The other option is to look out for her as your Homie… you know? As a true friend… And go the “Tough Love” route with something like:
“Yo… Have you ever heard of Kegel Exercises?”
~Bill
Twitter: BillCammack
Facebook Fan Page: Bill Cammack
DatingGenius Category: billcammack.com/category/datinggenius
Subscribe to DG!: feeds.feedburner.com/BillCammackDatingGenius
Related Posts
12 Responses to “Morning-After Conduct”
Leave a Reply
Podcast Feeds
Good god. I’m so glad I’m married! Thanks for this.
HAHAHAHA Yazzir! Much better to be outside of “the game” entirely! ;) hahaha
Thus; “strip clubs” and the LADIES who dance in them and a Woman who’s secure enough to let me go to them (real talk)!!!!
Remember this can be applied to ANYONE you’ve met that you wanna keep at arms length or as far away as possible. I’m a musician so when I was rock’n out, across the country, I used probably ALL of these strategies with girls, guys, fans, booking agents, managers, label people…anyone! You don’t have to sleep with people to put these tips in practice.
Great post brotha but one question…didn’t you say something in another post about how intoxication isn’t an excuse for anything, albeit you were talking about married folk but same rule applies right? LOL.
Two excellent points, Mike. :D
First of all, definitely, these tips can be used in myriad circumstances and they also “work both ways” as someone mentioned to me. Chicks can do this to guys if they feel like they didn’t get SERVED last night! ;)
As far as alcohol not being an excuse, that’s perfectly consistent with this advice. :) What I was saying was that if you try to say “I was drunk, and that’s the reason I hooked up with that other chick”, you’re still liable, because *YOU* drank so much that you weren’t able/willing to honor your committment to your girlfriend.
In this case, I’m saying to claim PHYSICAL AMNESIA, like the memories just are not available to you anymore, haha. You’re still LIABLE for that, and it’s your fault for drinking that much, but you can still use that in these informal situations to attempt to get over because you’re not in an actual relationship with the woman in question.
This wouldn’t work with a girlfriend, because the deal you made with her was in effect before you got drunk last night. On top of that, you wouldn’t need to play it off that you didn’t enjoy having sex with a chick you’re consistently seeing…. um…. being that if you didn’t enjoy having sex with her… you wouldn’t be seeing her consistently! :D
This reply was like getting a phone call from my attorney LOL :-)
“Act like it didn’t happen” – I’m dying for an opportunity to try this out! The challenge would be for me to keep a straight face while pulling it. :)
Yeah. That would be the toughest part, for sure. There are actually several stages to this technique.
1) Seeing her and deciding how you WOULD HAVE naturally reacted to her if you had stopped interacting with her when you’re about to say you did.
2) Avoiding bussin’ out laughing when you see her face after she realizes you don’t remember tappin’ that.
3) Holdin’ It Down while she describes things to you that you KNOW DAMNED WELL you did to her but you’re not supposed to remember.
:D
3)
Steve: “I did HWHAT!?!?!?! Dayam! That does sound pretty memorable, don’t it!”
Girl: [Blink, blink, and maybe a double take]
lol
Hey Steve: acting like it never happened! uhm not a smart play if the person getting dismissed is the agressive type.
True story: friends wedding 2002. all the members of the party had that stupid practice dinner (like i could forget to chew or something) and after10 or so white russians (yeah that would be me with the girly drink) the maid of honor was looking good (she would have been ok pre-drunk) and one thing leads to another. My friend rips into me the next morning about how his woman was going to flip out because his doggish friends blahblahblah… leave her alone. Shawty was ok at best so it was not going to be that hard. fast forward to the wedding. Im the best man, we have to dance together and you could fit a moose (or one of the other chubbies at the wedding) between us and she keeps making small talk. we agreed to keep the distance because she knew i had a date and she was there with a “friend”. afterwards , i introduced my date to everyone except her. as the night wore down we finally bumped into each other and i finally said “rachel this is (silence…) im sorry whats your name again?” Needless to say i never had a reason to know what i learned right there and then…red wine really does not come off. Explain that to the person you rented that tux from.
(damn Bill, im starting to re-evaluate my life. I got quite a few “true stories” spread out on your blog. Im going to be the kind of dude my daughter beter not EVER bring home!! damn!)
Dude. I’m telling you. I’m tel-ling you. We’re going to get a book out of you whether you like it or not. This stuff is RIVETING! :D
You played yourself by bringing sand to the beach. You would have been AIITE if you hadn’t brought another chick to the scene of the crime.
I know the drinky-drinks jacked up your planning abilities and applied the beer goggles, but yeah, that was just an accident waiting to happen.
Maybe you should have gotten her to sign an NDA after you hit it.
[...] Lindz & Bill present 10 Warning Signs That You Should Dump His Ass! Related Posts Top 10 Reasons to Date a Geek Top Ten Valentine’s Day DON’Ts! Top 10 Mistakes Girls Make When Trying To Get A Guy Top 10 Mistakes Guys Make When Trying To Get A Girl Lindsey & Bill: Does He Want To Be Friends? Morning-After Conduct [...]