The casting couch is a euphemism for a sociological phenomenon that involves the trading of sexual favors by an aspirant, apprentice employee, or subordinate to a superior, in return for entry into an occupation, or for other career advancement within an organization. The term “casting couch” originated in the motion picture industry, with specific reference to couches in the offices of casting agents that could be used for sexual activity between the agents and aspiring actresses. But it is now often used in reference to other industries besides entertainment.
Careers which are highly desirable and traditionally difficult to break into, such as the movie, television and music industries, have been the subject of casting couch stories in popular culture. Such trading of favors is an abuse of power, and can become a wider sex scandal if deemed newsworthy.
I am EXTREMELY TIRED of hearing from women about what’s supposed to be as opposed to what actually IS. Tired.
Maybe life SHOULD be fair… except it ISN’T. Attractive people get more stuff. Unattractive people get less stuff, unless they work insanely harder than attractive people to make up for the difference. Taller guys get women easier than shorter guys. Shapely women get guys easier than obese women. Rich people get better lawyers than poor people. Guilty rich people skate on charges while innocent poor people get convicted because their lawyers weren’t good enough to properly process the evidence and they couldn’t afford to call in expert witnesses. Women with kids don’t get to do what single women do. Deadbeat dads get their drivers’ licences revoked. Guys’ girls cheat on them and women’s men dump them after being engaged to them for three years…. LIFE. ISN’T. FAIR!
So, I don’t wanna hear it anymore about “Men don’t have to X” or “A man wouldn’t be asked to Y” when that has NOTHING to do with YOUR. LIFE. Pay close attention… If. You. Are. Not. A. Man, Then. Don’t. Worry. About. What. Your. Life. Would. Be. IF. You. HAD. BEEN. A. Man. And. In. This. Same. Predicament!
If you are NOT a man, do NOT worry about what your life WOULD BE *IF* you HAD BEEN a man and in this SAME predicament. First of all, if you had been a man, you might not have been in this situation in the first place. Did you think of that? Maybe the reason you were hired is BECAUSE you’re a female. Maybe the reason you were hired is BECAUSE whomever found you physically attractive. Maybe the reason you were hired was SPECIFICALLY so that guys that you were going to work with would have a chick to try to bag. How about that?
Regardless of how you got there, PLEASE stop thinking that whatever your job qualifications are makes you “NOT a female”. SHOULD guys treat you with respect and equality? Definitely. Can you COUNT on that? Nope. Your hypothetical situations and protests about “if you had been a man, then X” and your hopes that “What’s Right” is going to save you from a bad predicament are exactly what makes you vulnerable to the predicament occurring in the first place.
I had a conversation with a friend the other day, and we were talking about using laptops in public places. She said she wouldn’t do it. My initial response to her was that it’s fine to do as long as you don’t leave your computer on the table and go somewhere else. I honestly felt that way, wholeheartedly, until she said “I wouldn’t be comfortable with someone knowing that I had my computer and potentially following me from the establishment”. That’s when the brakes screeched, and I told her she was EXACTLY right. EXACTLY. I was wrong and she was right, because she was thinking further into the situation than I was.
I would have been A FOOL to say “Well, if you bring your computer to a public place and use it, people SHOULDN’T follow you from there and try to steal it from you” or “People SHOULDN’T steal your computer/camera/what-have-you when you leave it unattended” or even “If you were a man, nobody would try to follow you and steal your computer”. A. FOOL!
You are SIMILARLY A FOOL if you are a woman that a guy finds attractive and you dismiss the concept that he’s going to try to have sex with you BECAUSE you are in a place of business or you are an executive or you are his boss or because you know someone that works there or for ANY. REASON. AT. ALL. Someone commented on one of my posts a few months ago something to the effect of “I can’t believe guys think this way in 2009”. Sorry. WAKE UP! Nothing’s changed about the game. If you feel like you’re getting pressured by a guy, you need to evaluate your situation and decide whether you want to fortify your position, take your chances and hope it works out in your favor, or BAIL OUT of the situation altogether.
Do Not let your pride get in the way and block you from potentially making the right decision FOR YOU. It’s pride that taps you on the shoulder and says “A man wouldn’t have to bail out in this situation, so I’m not going to either”. You are NOT a man, so don’t BOTHER thinking about what a man would or wouldn’t do if someone pressured him. ‘Matter of fact, if you want to think about it that way, like as if life’s supposed to be fair, then make sure you can see yourself RESPONDING the same way a man would. Does that make sense?…
If you want to go that route and say that you’re going to do whatever a man would do in the same situation, you’d better be willing to see yourself punching someone in the face, or worse. If that’s not YOU… If you don’t think you’re going to defend yourself (and defend yourself SUCCESSFULLY) in the event that bad becomes worse, then I suggest you make sure that you avoid “worse” entirely.
While we’re on the subject, I’m going to throw in a tip that I’m pretty sure I tell chicks EVERY. SINGLE. WEEK., which is do NOT accept opened drinks from people AT. ALL. If you don’t see that bartender open that beer and hand it to you, don’t drink it. If you walked away from your drink to go to the bathroom or take a phone call outside, do NOT pick it up and resume drinking it. If you require a visual to understand what I’m talking about, watch this episode of “Pink”, dated January 30, 2009:
So stop sleeping. Some guys are going to come after you regardless of what YOU think or what YOU want. Your best move is to be diligent & vigilant when it comes to your own safety. The more guys get away with, the more they’re going to TRY to get away with. Is it right? Nope. Is it fair? Nope. Is it the truth? Yep.
OTOH, There’s no need to be unnecessarily paranoid about this issue. In most situations, there are checks & balances in place which enable you to fortify your position. It might be your boss, it might be the Human Resources department, it might be the security working the job or local law enforcement, it might be a strengthening of your own demeanor. It doesn’t really matter how it gets done, so long as the potential offenders recognize that there will be consequences & repercussions if they persist in their behavior or ESCALATE their behavior. Without that… If you let them get away with the small stuff, they’re eventually going to try you on something more important. If you see things going in that direction, fortify or break out.
Stick to the facts. Keep your eyes on the prize. Some of the time, guys don’t press up on you because they don’t feel like it. Some of the time, guys don’t press up on you because they’re being respectful to you. Some of the time, guys don’t press up on you because they’re being respectful of the potential consequences & repercussions…. If a guy feels free to do stuff to you that you feel is disrespectful, you have a problem. If he continues after you inform him that you don’t like what he’s doing, you have an even BIGGER problem. If you can’t stop, and begin to visualize how you’re going to fortify your position and return your workspace to being a safe & comfortable environment for you, consider bouncing… go away… break north… leave…
Also, let’s be clear on one other thing. If you feel obliged to remain in a situation where you’re being taken advantage of, Trust & Believe that you DO. NOT. get to choose HOW MUCH ADVANTAGE the perpetrators take of you. Do NOT let your mental fantasies about what’s “right” and what “should” happen in life impair your ability to visualize all of the negative possibilities in your current situation. Similarly, Do Not overestimate your ability to say “No”.
This applies to everyone. If a guy is dating a chick and he has only one girl and he’s living in her house and playing the video games she bought him and eating off of her food stamps, he can talk all that good shit he wants about leaving her, but the fact of the matter is that his ability to make decisions about his relationship is ENTIRELY COMPROMISED by how beholding he is to her for his very livelihood. He knows it. She knows it. Everybody else knows it, too.
If that’s the situation you’re in, then you need to evaluate for yourself whether you actually want to protest or you’d rather lay down on the Casting Couch and take what’s coming to you. If keeping a job is that important to you, then you might need to realize that you’re just that type of person. There’s nothing wrong with that. There are lots of people that get screwed on the Casting Couch all the time… I’m sure many of them even like it or get kicks from the fact that they can get money or acting jobs or advance their careers simply by giving it up a few times. It’s better than starving, right?
So I’m clear now. I’ve said what I have to say about the issue. My rant is done and I feel good. 🙂
The last thing I’ll add is that everyone who knows me knows I’m the LAST guy to begrudge the next man a chance to get it on with a chick. Any chick. “Don’t mean nuthin'” to me. I’ll listen to his story and probably even ‘slap him five’ and pat him on the back for getting his. This has nothing to do with guys getting laid. This has EVERYTHING to do with informing women about how the world REALLY works, from the standpoint of a guy that’s already done all this stuff to chicks ad infinitum, and having them either not understand or not believe what I’m telling them and walk into the same traps they would have fallen in if I had just stayed shut.
I’m self-absolved. My hands are clean. Good Luck.