She’s smarter than me… smarter than I….. smarter than I am…. Maybe not. However, she loves it and that’s what makes her dedicated to what she’s talking about to the degree that she can talk circles around me and I basically struggle to throw in sentences that amount to “oh, really?” 😀
I’m not saying “oh, really?” but relative to the technical content of what she’s saying vs what I’m saying, I might as well have said “How about them Yankees?”, except that would have appeared to have been an attempt to change the topic as opposed to engaging her in something she enjoys talking about.
This is frustrating, but REALLY FUNNY at the same time. I’m struggling not to laugh in her face in the middle of one of her technical sentences that I don’t understand. I’m not dying to laugh at her, but rather to laugh at myself for my complete inadequacy in being able to hold this conversation with her, yet holding on to the strings of the Hindenburg for dear life, lest I plummet to my dating death, even though I would have passed out before I hit the ground, so I wouldn’t have known I died… technically.
I’m not letting go of the strings. If she pushes me off, I’ll go. Other than that, I’m going to “me too” my way through this situation with a smile on my face as if everything’s cool and I’m not attempting to decipher her conversational direction so as to be able to say something relevant when I can get a word in edgewise… Relevant to the last thing she said, not relevant to the only thing I understood, which was five minutes ago.
I’m also dying to laugh at women.
This is the first time that I’m getting to feel the way I normally verbally “crush” women, talking about technical things they couldn’t possibly have ANY knowledge of, such as little things I learned throughout my video editing career by trial and error and nobody told me and I never read in books.. Such as that if you’re using a Scitex Stratasphere and you accidentally leave a one-frame clip in your workspace, you’ll be able to edit fine, except once you close that tracksheet, you can never open it again, because it’s read as a corrupt file. It’s never been clear to me until now that she doesn’t know what Scitex is, much less a Stratasphere, a clip, a workspace OR a tracksheet. These are concepts that live in my mind that are as simple and clear as water pouring out of a fire hydrant, yet even that visual is a part of my everyday life as a NYC street kid and someone growing up in the sticks may have NEVER seen a fire hydrant open to this very day.
So while I’m trying not to laugh at “Me”, I’m trying not to laugh at THEM for what I’ve put them through that I’m only just realizing right now. What did she say? I’ve been thinking about *this* instead of listening to what she was saying, because… I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE’S SAYING ANYWAY, so back to the exercise of selecting something I can “oh, really?” about and getting ready to toss it in when she takes a breath or a sip of her drink.