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Is it possible?
Is it possible that she could actually be this stupid? I mean, really… A grown-ass woman. :/ Two kids.. Neither of them in the single-digits… And here she is, sitting right across the table from me, FRONTIN’!
What happened to last night? Sounds like that joke, right? “That’s not what you said last night!” (actually, usually utilized as “That’s not what YOUR MOMS said last night!” in order to get on your opponent’s nerves). I mean, wait a minute…
We already saw each other in person… f2f, IRL. We already spoke to each other, so she knew what I sounded like, what I looked like, how tall I was, what I weighed… Out of the goodness of my heart, I actually spoke to this…. Ugh, I actually spoke to her for close to AN HOUR after I never asked her to call me in the first place. They really need to invent a phone that ONLY receives text messages. Do they still sell pagers? That wouldn’t help. Then, I’d have to call her back. Damn.
So I’m talking to her by accident last night, and it’s ON and POPPIN’. I mean she wants to know if I’m DATING anybody… She wants to know what I’m DOING tomorrow… Of course, I’m playing along with this garbage because she looks ‘good than a mug’ and I’m just waiting for her to get to the nitty-gritty.
So, BOOM! Yak Yak Yak and then we’ve set up to meet each other. Good. Please! I barely got any blogging done while she was talking in my ear. Gotta hook up with her early, before her kids get out of school. Where’s the dude whose fault this is? How come HE can’t pick their kids up? Is it the same dude for each kid? $&%# it. Who cares? Neither one of them bastards (the deadbeat dads, not the kids) are gonna be there tomorrow, so I’mma do what I do.
ok.. So here she comes. She’s still looking good… “Still”, meaning I had been hoping the beer goggles hadn’t been in effect when I met her, being that it was the first and only time I ever saw her in life. Don’t you just HATE IT when that happens? You’re all happy and then you’re like… um… wow… :(
Anyway… Here she comes, so it’s ON now. Nice quasi-platonic kiss on the cheek and we sit down to continue in person where we left off last night… hmm…….. She doesn’t seem as horny today as she was last night. I mean, I understand that the freaks come out at night, but I could swear I’m talking to an entirely different person today… Or maybe I feel like SHE feels like SHE’S talking to a different person. Either way, something’s odd here. Let me lean back in the cut and figure out what she’s talkin’ about.
…
Oh. I see. She’s talkin’ ’bout NOTHING! Interesting. I wonder if it was something I said? Something I didn’t say? You can never tell with these chicks and their unstable personalities. I mean, on top of that, two kids and either one or TWO BabyFathaz? Jeez! ANYTHING could have gone wrong after I got off the phone with her last night. I didn’t want to be on the phone with her in the first place! Maybe I should have let it go to answering machine. See, that way, I wouldn’t have
Look. Exit strategy. Let’s get out of dodge. Rolodex… Good. The old “My phone was on vibrate” trick. *looking at phone* “Oh Man! I’ve gotta take this… Excuse me one sec… Hello?” Is she looking? *putting phone actually on vibrate*
…
“Hey, listen, I’ve gotta jet. It was nice to see you! :D Let’s kick it later this week, aiite? OK.”
“CHECKPLEASE!!!”
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15 Responses to “Is it possible?”
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BAH AHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHH!
Nah MEEN??? “CHECKPLEASE!!!” *ricochet sound and puff of smoke* :D
uhm, talking to her by accident? lol, is that what we are calling it now a days?
and the night and day difference? dude, she already has 2 baby daddies, she didnt want you to think she was quick and easy. She talked the talk but then decided to pull the reigns back and ease the horse into the stable! lol
She now wanted you to respect her as a human being. See her for who she is. A mother struggling with her two kids and fathers that down help any. she wanted…
ok, i cant do this.
So where did u wind up? I woulda bounced and left her wit the check. Thats better than missing the call because she wont be calling again.
Unless she used her babies daddy’s money. lol
hahahahaha Well, first of all, this is part of my new Fiction series, so this situation never actually occurred.
Second, I doubt I would have kicked it to a chick with two kids when there are 210,820 more single women than men in this town. She’d have to be like fourth-string off the bat, due to lack of mobility. Unless they’re extraordinary, I don’t schedule stuff with chicks, because I never know which one I want to spend time with until I’m thinking about or craving her. It’s 2:56 right now. I wouldn’t make plans for 8pm with a chick, because I’m going to feel differently by then. So all that “make plans and get a sitter” action is dizead.
Third, I wouldn’t have invited her to a restaurant or cafe, because there’s too much distraction. If you’re gonna kick game, you want a nice, quiet, dark-ish location with comfortable couches where you can pull up next to her and lamp.
Fourth, I wouldn’t have selected a closed-ended time, such as before her kids got out of school. That means that regardless of how good a time you might be having, she has to stop in time to get her act back together and play mommy after playing Damsel In Distress for three hours. :D
Fifth, I wouldn’t have been talking to her about ANYTHING. If she purported that she wanted to mess with me and I was down with it, it’s gonna be on as soon as I see her, and if it’s not, I’m bouncing before we enter the hypothetical diner in the hypothetical morning while her hypothetical kids are in school.
Sixth.. If I HAD been in that situation (actually sitting down and talking), as soon as I figured out she was useless, I would have used her for practice instead of bouncing. It would have been a good mental exercise to get her back on track to what we had been talking about the night before.
Seventh, I would have turned up the heat, directly. That’s not some “meet by chance” situation where people are feeling each other out. The scenario is that she already kicked that “I’m an adult female that knows what she wants to do” game to me the night before and now, she’s acting like we weren’t kickin’ it on that level. So, she would have gotten called out directly for frontin’ and she would have had to ‘up’ a good excuse or get left in the dust.
Having said all that, :D You’re absolutely right, and it’s so funny how women attempt to “regain respect” as you say. The problem is that they need to convince THEMSELVES that they should be respected. It’s not the guy’s problem. He’s going to think whatever he thinks of her… Especially if he’s just there for the ass regardless of whether he respects her or not. Women that have kids and are happy and satisfied with themselves don’t need to play those games to make themselves feel better about their pasts and potential futures.
Frank,
I thought you had a woman ghost write your response for a second there! That was pretty damn funny.
Bill, never actually occurred, or never actually occurred with you? I’m curious about your inspiration because it’s just so offbeat.
I like reason 6! Practice targets are invaluable.
Well, as far as overall inspiration, I found your blog post to be fun, even though it’s more introspection than “fiction”, and I felt like writing something that wasn’t a story, but it wasn’t a “Ladies: How To Attempt To Avoid What I’m Going To Do To You Anyway” blog post like I always write. :D
So the inspiration in the fiction series is my own thought process, based on situations that happened to me or that happened to other people. I don’t have to stick to any rules of how something started or how something ended. I get to blend situations to create interesting storytelling.
It’s also an interesting style for me, because I’m used to writing facts and posts that are aimed at a particular point. With “fiction”, I can just write whatever I think is interesting. On top of that, the other day, I ran into a reader IRL who asked me whether I was actually talking about myself in one of my posts. I hadn’t thought about it before that people might think I was ghost-writing for MYSELF! hahaha :D
So that was another aspect of the inspiration… If people think I’m talking about myself in my posts, at least let’s give them something INTERESTING to think about! ;)
That’s the ticket! You just need to have an authentic voice. Which you already do. :)
Despite how much of your site I’ve read I would never profess to know the real Bill Cammack.
In my case the “introspective” piece, which represents several ideas from over a great span of days, was just the very first thing I wrote. “Let’s start at the very beginning, it’s a very good place to start,” as the song goes. There is already some fiction in it but acquaintances and strangers wouldn’t know it and besides the point is to create a character/voice that I could comfortably maintain. I could’ve done a slow reveal on character over an arc of stories but I didn’t have a clear idea of who that was until I wrote it all down AND I’m not that good a writer. I ran out of time so pushed the piece out instead of delaying by more months. I may actually pull it at some point if it becomes a redundant element.
I missed the fiction part of your tag…. oooops! lol
Steve: I sumtimes tap into my inner female. Makes it easier to tap that across the street female! :)
a BOOK, man. I’m telling you! You’re writing a book, even if it has to be an AUDIO-BOOK where you don’t have to type a single word… hahahahaha oh man I got a good laugh offa that one! :D
I’m smelling a collaboration… :)
hey, i would say i been a pretty decent Robin to his Majestic Batman!
but as for a solo go, them Robin w/out Batman comic books tend to flop!!
Frank, I think they just heard me laughing my ass off all the way over to LA! :D
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