Comments on: Sometimes, It’s Not You

By: Bill Cammack

Bill Cammack — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 20:04:52 +0000

Definitely. The problem is that the best way to deal with it is head-on. It feels better *NOW* to ignore the signals (or obvious events) and hope that it goes away. The problem is.. If it DOESN’T go away… it feels WAY WORSE, and damage control becomes very tough, if not impossible.

By: Steve

Steve — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 13:17:17 +0000

Yeah, it’s a funny thing when someone you really trust and has your best interest at heart is trying to play you. Or outplay you. It’s really hard to grasp that it’s actually happening. Glad the bullet missed you, there’s some stuff you just don’t want to own.

By: Bill Cammack

Bill Cammack — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 19:42:20 +0000

Thanks man. I know YOU KNOW how real it can get around the way….

It’s one thing when something’s actually your fault or your doing and people want you to man up about the consequences. It’s another thing entirely when it’s completely not your problem and others want to MAKE IT your problem.

You can even expect that from people you don’t know, but not the people that you’re relying on to MAINTAIN in the first place. If your support system goes, you’re screwed when you’re trying to make those proper decisions to get or stay on the right track in life, love, career, whatever.

It’s a tough choice to make, potentially alienating your support group or taking a loss that you shouldn’t have to take. Like I said, it’s fortunate that I didn’t have to choose, because I’m not sure to this day what I would have done.

I’ll admit that I was sour over the situation for a few. It’s one of those things that really makes you stop and think about things, like when a chick tells you it’s yours and then you find out… ITAIN’T! :D Makes you wonder what you saw in that chick in the first place that she could pull something dirty like that on you.

Also, I’m sure that lots of people have chosen against themselves in a situation that they didn’t think was going to go that poorly for them and it completely changed their lives, so I have sympathy for them, but in the long run, you have to look out for YOU, and if people want to join you in that, cool. If people are trying to undermine or tear you down, let ‘em go.

By: frank

frank — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 18:56:43 +0000

Great piece. Like i tell my friends all the time (since Ive managed to “grow up” and accept responsibility for myself), if you dont really want to know dont ask me. I may have lied or stepped around the question back in the day, Im too old for that now.
If you want to keep calling me a “know it all”, thats cool cause you asked me so yeah this is not on me. I always said those that dont know will attempt to belittle those that might and drag everyone down with them. I got a lil’ situation with my sis now that I woul dnever take back because thats when i finally started to look around me but to this day it bugs me that I even had to find out how quickly she would let me fall into that hole.
Great piece.

By: Bill Cammack

Bill Cammack — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 14:18:39 +0000

Thanks, Soulpowr. :)

Unfortunately, some lessons can only be learned in REALLY IMPORTANT situations. It’s easy to say what you would or wouldn’t do when it’s someone you don’t really care about. It’s not so easy when you feel like you might be sacrificing your future relationship to this person if you don’t help them out with this situation. It’s not so easy when everything was going in the same direction until this one fork in the road. It’s not so easy when you know that the degree to which your life will be worse pales in comparison to the degree to which your friend’s life will be better if you carry this for them.

I’m lucky to have had both sides of the experience… The decision-scenario and then the ability to see what happened in the future. I honestly wasn’t sure that I was willing to go forward without the support of my friends who had lined up on the other side. The relationships were that important to me that I didn’t care that they were suggesting that I make an horrible decision for myself so someone else could get over.

Of course, the way I see it now, or rather, at the time I actually came to this understanding in the past… If that’s the way someone really feels, they can skate. SEEYA! Not Interested. That ship is going to sink eventually, and The Kid won’t be on it.