Bill Cammack

I don’t care about a lot of things, so I don’t know about a lot of things. I couldn’t give a flying #&%$ about trivia, politics, the weather or just about anything else.

What I *am* fascinated by is what women do and the mental processes they utilize to arrive at their decisions. I receive immense satisfaction when a redundant behavioral pattern becomes clear to me, making me more efficient in dealing with them and making it easier for me to group together a bunch of seemingly unrelated situations into a general reason why all those things *may* have occurred.

Obviously, everyone’s an individual and has individual motivations, but you can find commonalities which allow you to skip ahead of the game instead of reinventing the wheel with every new chick you meet.

There’s a reason why lots of women buy multiple pairs of shoes that are the exact same color and the exact same type and hoard them in their closets. There’s a reason why every time you speak to a woman, she’d like to lose “that last 5 pounds” so she can feel like she looks good…

So anyway, this stuff never comes up in mixed company (guys & girls), because everyone likes to engage in light banter (read: drivel). I’m not interested in drivel, because it’s a waste of time. Nobody’s learning anything useful and nobody’s getting anywhere, unless you count the fact that the females are becoming increasingly alcoholized.

If you know ahead of time that this is going to be the case, or if you discover this to be the situation when you’re already at a party, that’s when you utilize STFU technique.

STFU Technique

1. Retrieve your homeboy that enjoys and is well-versed in banter/drivel.
2. Bring your boy to the group of girls you’d like to socialize with.
3. Stand next to him, but directly across from the chick you’d like to impress with your small-talking skillz.
4. Look in the direction of whomever’s running their mouths aimlessly at whatever time.
5. Keep an eye on the chick you like and notice when she seems to be fascinated by what someone else is saying.
6. When she’s impressed by the drivel, look directly at her, catch her eye, and nod to her as if you agree and would have said exactly the same thing if these people would have ever STFU for a second so you could have gotten an intelligent, well-refined, civilized word in, edgewise.
7. When you’re sure you’ve convinced her that you’re one of these run your mouth incessantly about this and that from sneakers to hats type of dude, make an excuse to leave and get her number before she tries to start an actual conversation with you.

Reverse-STFU

This also works if you realize that a chick you went out with is actually boring as hell, and you’re tired of hearing what she has to say.

Instead of using “the good ole’ vibrator trick“, listen out for a group that’s similarly talking about nothing important and interject yourself and her into the group.

Wait for conversation control to pass around a few times. Make sure she’s talking passionately about something you don’t care about and carefully ease yourself back out of the circle.

If she happens to notice that you left (which she won’t), walk in the direction of the bathroom so she doesn’t interrupt her own thought processes and go “OH! ARE YOU LEAVING?”, thus ruining the entire plan.

Drivel Loves Drivel, so you should be sufficiently rid of her for the rest of the evening. Go kick it to interesting/hawt women or get on the horn and call in your go-to chicks to come save you! :D

~Bill

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