Comments on: Who Cares How Your Day Was? http://billcammack.com/2009/05/23/who-cares-how-your-day-was/ Thu, 24 May 2012 05:50:55 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Bill Cammack http://billcammack.com/2009/05/23/who-cares-how-your-day-was/#comment-45481 Bill Cammack Mon, 05 Sep 2011 17:29:40 +0000 http://billcammack.com/?p=5110#comment-45481 Hey Dayna. :) You have an excellent point there about past history, assuming that's already been proven with this particular guy. Why make her situation worse by telling someone that she knows isn't going to have actual sympathy for her what happened? How it's "the woman's responsibility" to come up with interesting things to discuss with her man is that *SHE'S* the one trying to talk. :D I would say the same thing to a guy that keeps striking up conversations with his girlfriend that SHE never asked him about. Did she ASK YOU about the football game? o_O .. Did she ASK YOU about fixing the transmission in that car?.. Did she ASK YOU whether you did better at the batting cages today?.. If not, why are you wasting her time telling her stuff she doesn't care about? Of course, if she's just the type of person that is willing to absorb anything he says, that's all well & good. Same thing in reverse. If he's willing to listen to her just so she can have the feeling of being listened to, I'm happy for both of them. What is there to build on if neither one of them cares how the other one's day was?... 1) sex. 2) how their day is *TOGETHER*. Who cares what you did earlier? Let's do something now. Let's make RIGHT NOW great! :D What do couples discuss that isn't boring? I don't think this exchange with you is boring. They could discuss their views on relationships. o_O .. They could discuss anything that they're BOTH interested in. For instance, I know women that are video editors like I am. I LOOOOOOOVE talking shop with them, because we understand the same things and have the same issues with clients and run into the same challenges and have the same triumphs when people watch our work, and there are also enough differences where each of us can learn something from the other one. That's ALWAYS fun and NEVER boring! :D What if they both love football or sailboats or fine dining or laying in the grass in the park reading books?... This is my point. If you don't have anything in common with someone else, don't bother forcing it or boring them with stuff they don't care about, and if you don't know what they like... ASK THEM! :D I hear what you're saying about your personal relationship, also. You're making that happen for him, so he very well SHOULD reciprocate and make that happen for you, meaning listen to whatever you want to talk about. He may very well CARE about anything you have to say, because YOU'RE saying it. I know some women like that. They talk about really inane things or things I wouldn't normally care about or things that are over my head that I completely don't understand, and I enjoy listening to it because I just love listening to them talk. Period. What I'm saying is that instead of assuming that guys care what y'all are saying (which is a very poor assumption to begin with), if you get to know someone and find out what topics are interesting/important to him, you can at least switch it up between talking because you feel like talking and discussing something that you know he's going to be actively engaged in, instead of nodding and going "uh huh" while he's trying to watch the game. Now that you mention it, though.. I'm realizing that I allow some women to ramble on about how their day was, specifically because I DON'T want to discuss our "right now" with them. It's better for me to let them spend the time running their mouths while I drink my beer than it would be to get into actually interesting conversations that might have a positive or negative effect on our relationship. I'm going to have to look into this... Hey Dayna. :)

You have an excellent point there about past history, assuming that’s already been proven with this particular guy.

Why make her situation worse by telling someone that she knows isn’t going to have actual sympathy for her what happened?

How it’s “the woman’s responsibility” to come up with interesting things to discuss with her man is that *SHE’S* the one trying to talk. :D

I would say the same thing to a guy that keeps striking up conversations with his girlfriend that SHE never asked him about.

Did she ASK YOU about the football game? o_O .. Did she ASK YOU about fixing the transmission in that car?.. Did she ASK YOU whether you did better at the batting cages today?.. If not, why are you wasting her time telling her stuff she doesn’t care about?

Of course, if she’s just the type of person that is willing to absorb anything he says, that’s all well & good. Same thing in reverse. If he’s willing to listen to her just so she can have the feeling of being listened to, I’m happy for both of them.

What is there to build on if neither one of them cares how the other one’s day was?… 1) sex. 2) how their day is *TOGETHER*.

Who cares what you did earlier? Let’s do something now. Let’s make RIGHT NOW great! :D

What do couples discuss that isn’t boring? I don’t think this exchange with you is boring. They could discuss their views on relationships. o_O .. They could discuss anything that they’re BOTH interested in.

For instance, I know women that are video editors like I am. I LOOOOOOOVE talking shop with them, because we understand the same things and have the same issues with clients and run into the same challenges and have the same triumphs when people watch our work, and there are also enough differences where each of us can learn something from the other one. That’s ALWAYS fun and NEVER boring! :D

What if they both love football or sailboats or fine dining or laying in the grass in the park reading books?… This is my point. If you don’t have anything in common with someone else, don’t bother forcing it or boring them with stuff they don’t care about, and if you don’t know what they like… ASK THEM! :D

I hear what you’re saying about your personal relationship, also. You’re making that happen for him, so he very well SHOULD reciprocate and make that happen for you, meaning listen to whatever you want to talk about.

He may very well CARE about anything you have to say, because YOU’RE saying it. I know some women like that. They talk about really inane things or things I wouldn’t normally care about or things that are over my head that I completely don’t understand, and I enjoy listening to it because I just love listening to them talk. Period.

What I’m saying is that instead of assuming that guys care what y’all are saying (which is a very poor assumption to begin with), if you get to know someone and find out what topics are interesting/important to him, you can at least switch it up between talking because you feel like talking and discussing something that you know he’s going to be actively engaged in, instead of nodding and going “uh huh” while he’s trying to watch the game.

Now that you mention it, though.. I’m realizing that I allow some women to ramble on about how their day was, specifically because I DON’T want to discuss our “right now” with them. It’s better for me to let them spend the time running their mouths while I drink my beer than it would be to get into actually interesting conversations that might have a positive or negative effect on our relationship.

I’m going to have to look into this…

]]> By: dayna http://billcammack.com/2009/05/23/who-cares-how-your-day-was/#comment-45280 dayna Mon, 22 Aug 2011 02:36:56 +0000 http://billcammack.com/?p=5110#comment-45280 wow, that post was missing a lot of letters. sorry I shoud have proofread it before I posted it. I hope it legible wow, that post was missing a lot of letters. sorry I shoud have proofread it before I posted it. I hope it legible

]]> By: dayna http://billcammack.com/2009/05/23/who-cares-how-your-day-was/#comment-45279 dayna Mon, 22 Aug 2011 02:33:50 +0000 http://billcammack.com/?p=5110#comment-45279 this is an old post I see...I just read it but I would like to make a few comments. First, the reason that women(generally speaking)dont respond to your inquiry when they are upset about something is because they are more vulnerable to feeling/being rejected by their man as they know already know that he doesnt give a crap what happens in her day anyway. And that if/when he does act like he cares, he is PRETENDING. So why would we make an assumption that today you are going to step up to the plate and care? Thats a risk too big to take. None w ants to feel rejection - men as well. Also, I do understand the concept of men not caring about the trivial. But to say that ifa womwn had something to talk about that is interesting to them for them to be interested in he conversation, how is that the woman's responsibiity? What I mean is, on the flipside, if neither sex cared about either one's day,or made an effortto become interested in wht the other party is interested in, what is there tobuild on? There would be no lasting relationships. Instead of what isnt, can you tell me what is? What do coupesdiscuss that isnt boring, painful, etc. For me, the bottom line is - and it seems to be stongly missing here is that - everyone is different. Ilove my man and there are a ton of things that he does and is interested in that arnt necessarily my "thing". However, because I care deeply for him, I care what is important and matters to him and I dont mind if he blows my ear up all night about - because I know its important to him wanting to share it with me tells me tat he confides in my inteest and opinin(s) on whatever he is talking about at the time. Its give and take. Not just wen I am on friggin fire ar ya gonna step up. Thatswhat 911 and beer is for this is an old post I see…I just read it but I would like to make a few comments. First, the reason that women(generally speaking)dont respond to your inquiry when they are upset about something is because they are more vulnerable to feeling/being rejected by their man as they know already know that he doesnt give a crap what happens in her day anyway. And that if/when he does act like he cares, he is PRETENDING. So why would we make an assumption that today you are going to step up to the plate and care? Thats a risk too big to take. None w ants to feel rejection – men as well. Also, I do understand the concept of men not caring about the trivial. But to say that ifa womwn had something to talk about that is interesting to them for them to be interested in he conversation, how is that the woman’s responsibiity? What I mean is, on the flipside, if neither sex cared about either one’s day,or made an effortto become interested in wht the other party is interested in, what is there tobuild on? There would be no lasting relationships. Instead of what isnt, can you tell me what is? What do coupesdiscuss that isnt boring, painful, etc. For me, the bottom line is – and it seems to be stongly missing here is that – everyone is different. Ilove my man and there are a ton of things that he does and is interested in that arnt necessarily my “thing”. However, because I care deeply for him, I care what is important and matters to him and I dont mind if he blows my ear up all night about – because I know its important to him wanting to share it with me tells me tat he confides in my inteest and opinin(s) on whatever he is talking about at the time. Its give and take. Not just wen I am on friggin fire ar ya gonna step up. Thatswhat 911 and beer is for

]]> By: How To Pretend To Listen (Cricket Status) | Bill Cammack http://billcammack.com/2009/05/23/who-cares-how-your-day-was/#comment-32060 How To Pretend To Listen (Cricket Status) | Bill Cammack Thu, 23 Sep 2010 08:15:44 +0000 http://billcammack.com/?p=5110#comment-32060 [...] position of relevance. If I’m watching THE GAME, try to say something useful about THE GAME. I don’t care how your day was right now (read: Ever, as in “I NEVER care how your day was, especially not when it’s 4th & [...] [...] position of relevance. If I’m watching THE GAME, try to say something useful about THE GAME. I don’t care how your day was right now (read: Ever, as in “I NEVER care how your day was, especially not when it’s 4th & [...]

]]> By: Chicks Are Beer (Altered States) | Bill Cammack http://billcammack.com/2009/05/23/who-cares-how-your-day-was/#comment-31199 Chicks Are Beer (Altered States) | Bill Cammack Mon, 30 Aug 2010 15:06:10 +0000 http://billcammack.com/?p=5110#comment-31199 [...] premises that my articles rely on as a foundation, they won’t be able to receive posts like “Who Cares How Your Day Was? in the proper context to learn something and improve their [...] [...] premises that my articles rely on as a foundation, they won’t be able to receive posts like “Who Cares How Your Day Was? in the proper context to learn something and improve their [...]

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