Power & Loss

This is a reply to a comment that reader JS left on “Why Women Have To Be Attractive And Men Don’t”. I thought he had some interesting points and complaints and wanted to make this its own post:

Excellent write-up, JS. Thank you for the detailed comment. 🙂

I’m going to try to list your points so I can respond. Please let me know if I misunderstand what you’re saying:

  1. Men don’t have any power in “the dating game”, because women have the power to reject AND choose.
  2. Women go for men they find facially attractive, so if you have that, you’re golden.. Otherwise, you’re “short”.
  3. Women say raunchy things about men and wanting to give it up to the guys they think are visually attractive.
  4. When women get older, they start to lose their sexiness and therefore lose the only power they had over men in the first place.
  5. Men are at a severe disadvantage, from youth through middle age if they’re not handsome.

ok… As far as men being at a disadvantage, EVERYONE’S at a disadvantage if they’re less physically or visually attractive than the next person. I discussed this over a year ago, in February 2008, in “Life Isn’t Fair”. You’re saying that guys are at a disadvantage when it comes to women in general. I’m saying guys have a disadvantage when it comes to other guys and gals have a disadvantage when it comes to other gals. Life is just BETTER for attractive people. It’ll never be different.

As far as women saying raunchy things about guys whom they’d love to do all sorts of deliciously dirty things to them, that’s true too. I agree with you 100% that IF a woman chooses you, she’s going to act completely differently around you than when she’s around some guy that’s nice enough and polite enough, but she just never thinks about hooking up with this guy.

I also agree with you that women are sexually more selective than men are. There are biological reasons for this as well as societal pressures to not want people to believe that they’re “sluts”. There’s also the reason that women generally tend to get emotionally wrapped up in sex while guys are “getting girls”, and the good times that are had are appreciated, but it’s really emotionally no big deal. I won’t bother getting into the technical issues of “body memory”….

As far as women losing power as they get older, that’s true in most cases, but not true in some cases. If a woman is becoming a better human being through her life experiences, she’s probably way more attractive when she’s older than she was when she was younger. Not everybody likes ditzy girls with big tits….. wait… EVERYBODY likes ditzy girls with big tits, but my point is that intelligence, sensuality, sexuality, world-view and overall understanding of life in general can be very sexy if a woman develops herself mentally and emotionally during her dating career instead of just accepting shopping sprees and free dinners and remaining an idiot.

It’s the women who remain idiots who ultimately lose their power over men because the only reason guys were talking to them at all was because they wanted to have sex with them. Women with CLASS are going to have men that want to spend time with them for many, many, many, many, many years after the ditzy sex-chicks become has-beens and nobody pays any attention to them anymore or ever holds the door open for them to pass through.

So now, we come to where I disagree with your point…

Men don’t have ANY power. They THINK they have power in the dating game, but they don’t. Women hold all the cards. They have the power to reject AND choose.

While it’s true that women are the ones who choose whether to spread their legs or not, that doesn’t equal “power”. I discussed this back in July 2008, in “5 Tips on How To Get A Girlfriend”. The *ONLY* reason a woman would have power over YOU through her choice of whether to have sex with you or not is if you have ONLY. ONE. WOMAN! Does that make sense?

If you have only one woman, that’s YOUR FAULT for not exercising YOUR POWER and getting more than one. If YOU chose to put all your eggs in one basket, that’s YOUR PROBLEM and you can’t blame it on women for all choosing to have sex with Brad Pitt…. GO. GET. OTHER. WOMEN… GO. GET. *MORE*. WOMEN. 😀

If you can’t find any more really attractive women, LOWER. YOUR. STANDARDS. Do not complain about how women are all choosey unless YOU’VE kicked it with women that you consider less attractive and even THEY didn’t want to mess with you.

Do you see where this is going?… The power which women obviously have, which is the power to give it up or not give it up, ONLY extends as far as the physical boundaries of their own bodies. It’s YOU that’s giving women power over YOU by saying that if particular women don’t have sex with you, you can’t get laid at all.

Similarly, YOU have ZERO POWER over a woman getting pregnant. If she says she wants to get pregnant, you can just tell her “go ahead” and see what happens. The ONLY way you have power in that situation is if she wants to get pregnant BY YOU, and you haven’t made any donations to the sperm bank. Get it?

So, yes, women have power. Power over themselves, not over YOU. If the hawt chicks you know don’t want to give you some, start hanging out with other chicks. Hang out in another town. Move to another country. Do whatever you have to do to make your quality of life what you want it to be.

Is it TOUGH for non-handsome dudes to get on? Yup. Is it unfortunate? Yup. Unfortunately, that’s life, in the United States, at least. That’s why guys develop tricks and scams to cheat women out of sex. That’s why guys lie and tell chicks ANYTHING to get them to lay down.

Start studying and get your game up. If that doesn’t work, make sure you hang out in places where the guys look worse than you do and you’ll be King of the Hill.

Thanks again for the comment. 🙂


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