But you know what?.. You’re *WAY* ahead of the game, Alexis, because you can see what’s going on (whether you can avoid it or not).

Ultimately, it’s up to each one of us as individuals to figure out what works for us and what doesn’t and then implement that in our lives.

SEEING and UNDERSTANDING are the first steps in making positive and important changes.

Thanks for the update, Alexis, and You’re Welcome! :D

I’ve now got a different boyfriend (broke up with the other one, once my “time table” was reached for him not showing any form of committment. I did well with that break up, and broke up with him in December of ’09 (just as I said I would).

Since then, I’ve dated a few cuties. And now, for the past 9 months, I’ve been in a relationship with someone whom I’ve known as a friend for a few years.

Again, however, I’m I find myself in ALMOST the SAME EXACT situation, with the same dilemma. It’s my own damn fault. He says, “I love you” like eight times a day, he’s a cutie with a great personality, he occasionally has talked of wanting me to move in with him, blah blah blah… but ultimately unwilling to “commit” to ANY future plans.

Ugh! So, I came back here to your website to let you know that I’m revisiting my old logs/writings (from ’09) and YOUR VERY insightful responses, to (yet again)correct/modify my current behavior and thinking that’s gotten me in this situation AGAIN.

The gravitational pull for me to be “dependent” and “starry-eyed” and “Jocking” is all too obvious to me now. I’m really disgusted with myself that I am truly NOT showing “Independence”, and certainly, now I’m (yet again, by default) pushing my current guy away with my “clinginess”. DOUBLE UGHHHH!

So… To rectify the situation, I’m re-thinking my “clingy/dependent” behavior, and talking to more dudes (so as to maintain good friendships and possible future boyfriends IF this one doesn’t become committed by “December ’11).

Incidentally – - – Why does DECEMBER always seem to my “break-up timeline”??? LOL. (laughing at myself)! Ha!

I know I’m definitely pushing men away, because I see the patterns. I want what I want (a committed relationship)… they start out by saing “I really like you!”, and then we hang out alot, and then the guy starts saying “I love you”, and then I oooo and ahhhh over him… etc… etc… same damn thing, over and over again, (hitting my head against the wall as I write this)! LOL.

You’ve taught me alot, Bill. I’ve got to keep myself ON TRACK, and definitely BE the best PERSON I can be for MYSELF (and TRULY HONESTLY WHOLE-HEARTEDLY NOT sweat him). I’ve gotta be a WHOLE person (so hard for me – - with out a man) – - – I’m gagging while I write this, because it’s embarrassing to admit my “dependency” on guys. It’s just not healthy.

So… back to DOING the right thing again. And likely to end in “Break-Up” by Dec ’09, because I SERSIOUSLY DOUBT this guy will want “commitment”.
Ugh, but true. And I must admit it, and move forward in life.

I’m frustrated with myself, but glad I’m RE-visiting your site to set me straight yet again. Your words have been on my mind since ’09. I know I’ve got to be strong and NOT be so ridiculously “IN LOVE with LOVE and FANTASY” crap.

So… just stopped by to say…Thanks Bill.

Alexis

If we’re lucky, we get to meet the regular ones.

Sometimes, people just change and you’ll never find out why because they don’t care enough to bother to let you know what happened.

Yes, it’s might sound easier but hardly to implement it. My point here is why should men acting like a ‘dumb’ or ‘dummy’? In what reason men do that? Are they purposely wanted to hurt someone in such that way?

At first, all this stuff makes me think that he don’t love me but just want to make fun of my feeling. But then, i notice he has always secretly seeing me without my knowledge (from my back and other places too. And b’cos of that, its makes me still wondering….WHY????