Hook Your Boy Up / Stop Being Greedy

OK Fellaz… Stop being greedy. If you have a homeboy that’s having trouble getting girls, HOOK YOUR BOY UP!!! Dag. :/ I mean, seriously. It’s ridiculous. It’s also in your best interest to make sure your friends get laid.

First of all, it’s highly unlikely that you’re going to be screwing more than three chicks at a time, so if you know four or more girls, SHARE THE WEALTH! This works out in your best interest because if your friends are gettin’ some, they’re WAY LESS LIKELY to do REALLY STUPID THINGS! Dag.

The first stupid thing they won’t be doing is interrupting YOU when you’re chilling with YOUR girls, Capisce? If you hadn’t been just looking out for YOURSELF ONLY, you would have passed your boy a chick to distract him. Do NOT let him sit around hating on you because you got all the girls, AGAIN. ‘Matter of fact (and I know this is a stretch, but bear with me), sometimes, you should even hook your boy up with the BEST chick in a group, just so he can feel special for once.

The second stupid thing they won’t be doing is acting all desperate around chicks and initiating police action. If your boy’s scraping the bottom of the barrel to get chicks, that’s a reflection on YOU. YOU should have used your props to figure out how to get him laid WAY before it got that bad. We went over this in Pecking Order / Play Your Position. Just like it’s your henchmen’s job to back your play and make sure you get on, it’s YOUR JOB to make sure that your boys get some play from the trickle-down chicks.

The third stupid thing they won’t be doing is AVOIDING YOU when they’ve got extra chicks. Henchmen are a really good source for meeting women because you don’t have to rap to them. You get to skip the whole “He’s just talking to me to try to get laid” stigma, because you were actually introduced to them by a friend (who’s only talking to them to try to get laid). The stigma only lasts one layer. If your friend introduces you, you’re automatically the friend of someone suspicious. YOU aren’t suspicious yourself. Your boys will NOT introduce you to chicks if you’re notorious for being greedy with chicks, so share the wealth and what goes around comes around.

Speaking of suspicious people… If you let it get to the point where your boy does something creepy, YOU’RE going to look nice and creepy right along with him. The one-layer rule only applies while your boy’s considered harmless. As soon as he actually screws up though, you’re going to experience GUILT. BY. ASSOCIATION. Otherwise known as “Creeps of a feather Creep together”. NOW, you wish you would have just hooked him up with one of your extra chicks so none of this would have ever happened.

YOU knew your boy couldn’t get girls.
YOU knew he was a desperado
YOU knew what lengths he might go to to get laid
YOU knew he needed help that YOU could have provided

So what did you do? Did you help him or laugh at him? Was it a big joke that he didn’t get on, AGAIN? Was it funny then? Is it funny now?

I had a friend that couldn’t pull chicks LITERALLY to save his life. We laughed our asses off at him for quite a while, but eventually we went out of our way to try to convince chicks that he was a nice guy and they should talk to him and get to know him yadda yadda regardless of what he looked like. It usually was a no-go, however, the times that they were down with the program, *HE* vetoed THEM! :O The Nerve! 😀

If that’s the case, that you put your best foot forward and your boy refused your help, then you did everything you can. If he goes down the tubes, just hope he goes down by himself and doesn’t drag you kicking and screaming right along with him into internet infamy.

~Bill | @BillCammack

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5 Comments

    1. I was inspired by more than one recent event, but they were really only the final straws. I like to write about stuff that a lot of people go through, but nobody dares to talk about. Once I get to a certain number of instances of an event, my thoughts are right there for me to effortlessly post.

  1. True indeed…TRUE INDEED!
    I can tell you from experience that there is nothing better for the libido than happy campers all the way around. AND keep in mind that on certain nights it does not matter who the Alpha in your group is, its about who the Head B**** IN CHARGE in their group is. By default, the dominant chick in their group will monopolize the conversation at any point, meaning that the one you wanted is regulated to sitcom “SIGN” status. You know laugh on cue, nod in agreement on cue, pass the drink on cue, and if you targeted the “in” girls they have to WooHoo on cue. Some guys are ok with this, it gives them a self serving “I was the f***ing man last night” story to tell even though he got none and neither did his boys! Theres a saying in spanish “ni come, ni deja comer” meaning you didnt eat and therefore we had to starve afs well. This could lead to simmering feelings of “this c*ck blocking mutha******!” So, if you are the Alpha and THBIC is not the chick you wanted, step down and let someone else in your group lead for this particular moment of the night. For one thing, if you dont distract the dominant one in their group, you are at her mercy for the time being. If she was interested in you and you can get that, then this is not a problem, but what if she likes you but you aint feeling her? What if she does not care for your “style” but because you the Alpha she feels inclined to communicate through you and via you? Like Bill said, this will kill the chances for every man in your set on this evening. Hooking a brutha up is like the Tour De France… The group leader (or the one chosen to win that particular race) is usually in the back. The rest of the group is concentrating on two simple rules of team play: 1) Set the pace and dont let the chosen one burn himself out and 2) plow the field of any unwanted aggression from anyone on the other team. Done correctly this also eliminates the chosen/leader of their group AND for those that dont know… a platoon with no captain is just a collection of people waiting to be directed.

    Aside from the obvious good will that letting others eat fosters, its never a bad idea to be the wing man on occasion, after all, someone gots to babysit the extras. It lets you dictate the pace and lets you “get” the one you wanted, which in many cases was probably the cutest/flyest one in the group as well as the sexually more agrresive (that last bit was just a personal opinion). lol

    Let the crew get some too, after all sharing is caring!!

    1. A couple of excellent points there, Frank.

      That *is* pretty much a drag when you have to do the negotiating for your whole squad. I’ve spent more time on the receiving end of that, being the 2nd, 3rd or 4th in command and seeing how it shakes out as far as whether I’ll be interested in whatever chicks are left over by the time my draft pick rolls around.

      Personally, I like to introduce everybody to everybody and then anything goes. Let’s get all this administration out of the way ASAP.

      The other good point is that sometimes you don’t want to get your full SHINE on so you don’t attract the leader’s attention in case you’re more interested in one of her lackeys. It’s always good to make that initial contact with the HBIC and then ease back and see where the day takes us.

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