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Plan B!
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About two weeks ago, I announced that I was going to try for 190lbs. That plan is SCRUBBED, as of yesterday, haha. It’s not going to work. :D
The first thing I did was overeat. That immediately put me to sleep for a couple of hours, so I realized that I wasn’t going to be able to sustain my productivity with this style. After that fiasco, I switched up to eating a bunch of small meals all day. This works out fine, and at this point, on a scale that I wasn’t using for my previous weight assessments, I’m a consistent 164, which is actually a perfect spot for me to hop back in the gym.
Previously, I had to work my way UP to 164 as my weight ceiling used to be 160. My metabolism’s too high for me to gain or carry extra weight. After I get over a certain level, my body just REJECTS extra pounds. The only way I’m going to be able to get even to 170 is going to be by working out and putting on more muscle mass, because anything else is going to disappear as soon as I change my eating habits.
The reason the goal of 190 is off the table is that I already feel sluggish. I’ve never been overweight in my entire life, so speed’s natural to me, or at least that’s what I’m used to. Being physically heavier gives me more energy and more aggression, but it’s weird… It’s kind of like walking through water. Things are more of a chore to do, haha. I don’t think I’m psychologically interested in that.
However, I’ve already achieved what I actually wanted. If I don’t feel aggressive, I can’t work out properly. There’s no point to it. Now, I have two goals instead of one. Goal #1 is to increase muscle mass & decrease useless weight that I’ve acquired over the last week and a half. Goal #2 is to remove this feeling of sluggishness and replace it with focus and good action. That’s another problem with my attempts to gain weight. I can only do it if I’m not in the gym. I can easily lose four pounds in one day after it took me a week to put those on, so eating more is relatively fruitless. For me, it’s really all about energy & aggression spurring on good workouts.
I’d like to say I’ve finally kicked my weight issue, but I really haven’t. What I’ve definitely kicked is doing it through food consumption! :D
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3 Responses to “Plan B!”
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I read and then re-read this trying to put my words in an order that would completely illustrate how i feel about your endeavor. Comparing my ability to shed 3 pounds after a week of liquid dieting and regaining 6lbs at the mere scent of a beer and pizza slice to your “struggle” to put on 4lbs over a weeks time and lose that in mere hours… I think i found how to perfectly convey my feelings…
Dude, i f*cking hate you!!!!!!
Yeah that did it! LOL
Yes, I’m hateable, for sure! :D
I realize how unfair it is that I have to trick my body into gaining weight (which is finally over for me by now. It’s just not useful. \o/). Coming from the standpoint of someone that grew up “skinny” until somewhere in High School, the ability to gain weight is a blessing, because it takes weight to push weight. You can work out all you want if you’re not gaining, and you get “cut”, but you don’t really look any different.
What I found out when I was really heavy into lifting is that it’s never enough. Not for me. The best I can really hope for is to have the energy and aggression to feel like hitting the gym and attacking the weights. It’s not so much about calories as it’s about my physical condition driving my mental state.
This time, I really get it, though… Not emotionally, but mentally. I get it. I’m not doing myself any favors by being heavier. If I naturally become heavier from lifting, fine. Other than that, I’m resigned to my current condition… which the ladies love anyway, so who really cares what *I* think? ;)
Tuesday evening was the start of a weekly (Mon/Wed/Fri) bike ride around Prospect Park. I’ve never been overweight, ever, but after visiting my doctor that day and seeing this “chronic problem,” it pretty much did it for me.