Nothing In Common With Your SO?

What if you don’t have much in common with your “significant other”? O_o

Reader Alexis brought this up, and I think it’s a good question. It’s also a question that people tend not to think about until it’s too late, and they’re already involved in a so-called ‘relationship’.

At some point in your relationship, you’re going to get tired of having sex with your SO all the time and then you’re actually going to have to hang out with them. Horror of Horrors! Oh, the Humanity!!! :O

This is a problem because a lot of people treat SOs differently from actual friends. That’s because they’re NOT friends. They’re in a mutually beneficial relationship. Sometimes, a mutually parasitic relationship.

This is why people tend to disappear when it’s over. Other than having sex with you and whatever other fringe benefits they were receiving, they wouldn’t actually hang out with you at all, like regular people do. This is why the statement “just friends” is so retarded. When it’s over, people treat their friends better than their SOs, so how does that work out to “just”?

Well.. Besides the fact that you should figure out whether you’d actually hang out with someone BEFORE calling them your bf/gf… The key is balance… IF you can get it. What I mean by that is that now and then, you’re gonna have to take some shorts and do stuff you don’t want to do, in trade for your SO doing stuff that THEY don’t want to do that you enjoy. Trade her half a day of playing !GOLF!! so she’ll sit down and STFU while you enjoy the football game.

The alternative to compromise and balance is starting a new relationship with someone else. This isn’t often a viable alternative for people currently in relationships. They’re just not willing to expend the energy it takes to dump one person, get back in shape, get back in the dating pool and start all over again.

Actually, there IS another option. It’s called “It is what it is”. If the only thing you have in common with someone is sex, enjoy that. Don’t try to make it more than it actually is. When each of you wants to do something the other doesn’t enjoy?.. PEACE!.. Seeya when I Seeya. Most people enter relationships for more of a connection than that, though.. so it’s looking like trade and compromise is the more likely route to feeling ok about the situation.

~Bill | @BillCammack

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  1. Damn, I have been waiting to see if anyone (cough*cough*Alexis*hack*cough) would actually comment on this as I am very interested in his/her opinion. Without beating this leg less and life less horse as has been done in several other postings…
    We all experience that moment when the person next to us seems to be not so compatible at that moment. Difference is if this is a REAL relationship, those feelings will subside as you re-integrate past enjoyable experiences into your relationship. We sometimes will do 100 different things in the first 125 days and then forget that its OK to repeat some of them. Having a good time and being in sync with someone does not necessarily come with an expiration date. Thats what happens when two people take the time to get to know each other and discover the little nuances that make everyone an individual.
    On the other hand if we were busy gettin’ “buzy” during the first few months and kept hooking up because of the newness, the excitement, and the good sex…
    Well if you need the social acceptance of being in a relationship, you wake up one day telling the whole world that your Friend With Benefits is actually your bf/gf/SO. Other than he likes it when you wear that little school girl outfit, what do you know about him?? Except for good sex on 100 of them 125 days, what can you fall back on (other than his sword) that is mutually entertaining?
    Before asking or complaining about the posibility that you and your SO dont have much in common, we need to sit back and determine the legitimacy of your relationship. If publicly he is your SO but privately you KNOW he is just a glorified FWB…
    Let him go do his thing, you go do yours and meet back here in 3 hours for some mo’ of that back breaking sex that y’all do have in common!

    1. Good points. I always find it funny how people go after each other like mercenaries and then want to act like they’re friends with each other just because they were having sex with each other.

      Like you mention.. If you take the sex part out of a relationship, what do you actually have left? In some people’s cases, absolutely nothing. In other cases, there’s mutual admiration or actual friendship or caring that lasts regardless of whether they’re messing or not.

      In general, people don’t have to have ANYTHING in common with each other to date. They just have to like what the other person’s offering and roll with it.

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