My ex and I had a superbly, fantastically EXCELLENT relationship for approximately four years… She would lie to me, and I would catch her lying. 😀
I’m sure that doesn’t sound excellent to *you*, but it was for me. The fact that she was constantly lying meant that she was constantly trying to get over on me. It meant that she was going ALL OUT to get her way in situations. I admire and respect that, and I’m the same way. I want to WIN. I like being around people that WANT TO WIN and are willing to do whatever they have to do to achieve their goals.
What’s good about liars?
The fantastic part about this is that I kept experiencing instances where I could collect data about how she acts, sounds and looks when she’s telling the truth and when she isn’t. Eventually, maybe one year into our relationship, well, let’s say the ‘romantic’ part of our relationship, since we’re still close, to this very day… I had learned her behaviors so well that I could tell by her breathing patterns how she felt about things. There was this little “catch” in her breathing that would occur when she stopped “being” and started “thinking”. It was like Keanu seeing the double-cat in The Matrix. I knew that whatever I was about to get was something she was crafting or making up as opposed to something that she was naturally giving me, from her heart & soul.
The reason this is important is that I knew more about her than she wanted me to know. This allowed me to make decisions from a solid foundation of believing her or NOT believing her, because I was reacting to what she was subconsciously giving me instead of what she was consciously trying to feed me.
How did this come up?
I thought about this because I saw a video the other day with a guy and a gal talking to each other. I had never seen the guy before in my life. The gal asked him a question, and his reply was “UHHHHHHHH”. Now, he had been talking to her regularly before that. He heard everything she had to say before that. All of a sudden, he needed to stall for time, and his face entirely changed as if he had just started calculating what he was going to say to her. I was like “This guy’s lying”. Right off the bat. He hadn’t lied YET, but it was on the way, because instead of genuinely responding, he paused and had to decide how he was going to play this situation out.
Come to find out a little later in the video that the reason he was suddenly crafting his responses was that he had FAILED to deliver what he had promised to bring her. HE KNEW IT, but he didn’t want to say so while the cameras were running. He was lying by omission. He was deliberately leaving pertinent information out in an attempt to get over.
So I’m looking at this like “Man.. This guy’s really transparent. He’s such a BAD LIAR! :D” and that’s what reminded me of my ex transparently lying to me in my face. SHE didn’t know that *I* knew damned well that she was completely lying, and that’s the way I LIKED IT, because since she thought she was getting over, she never changed her style of lying and I always felt confident about whether I should base anything on what she just said or not.
Barring an actually HONEST female, the best ones to date are the ones that think they’re smarter than you, except they’re NOT! 😀
What do you believe?
Personally, in social situations, like, “kickin’ it” situations, I don’t believe ANYTHING a female has to say. Nothing. Not. One. Thing. It has nothing to do with her being female, but rather that people in general have agendas and will come after you for whatever they want to do with you. I’ve been historically lied to by females so much that I’m rollin’ with “Guilty Until Proven Innocent”. This is why it was so great that my ex tried so hard and so often to get over on me so that I could honestly judge when she was lying to me, but way more importantly… When she was telling the truth!
What happens in most situations is that people don’t receive this education about their SOs, and then THE BIG LIE comes down the pipe and catches them slippin’. Two outs in the ninth with bases loaded, and you just got caught looking at a fastball down the middle. You’re out. You Lose. Game over.
Test the brakes.
Being in a relationship with someone that you don’t KNOW is like driving a car FAST without testing whether the brakes work. In the dating game, people are trying to procure a situation they fantasized about. They MIGHT think about what YOU want after that.. Maybe. That means it’s up to YOU to figure out a way where you can determine when the other person’s lying to you so you don’t make any important decisions based on false or deliberately fabricated information.
Here’s an example that’s rather typical…. Guy meets girl. Guy kicks it with girl. Guy spends time alone with girl and it’s time to do that thing… Guy gets out condom. Girl says “You don’t need that… I’m on the pill.”
Lots of guys have gone out like suckers for this line. Unfortunately, her statement means NOTHING. AT. ALL. unless you can TRUST what she says. You can’t trust what she says unless you know her deeply and intimately as a person. You can’t know her like that if you haven’t had deep conversations with her, and especially not if you just saw her at the bar, thought she was FOYINE and picked her up because you felt like tappin’ that.
Unfortunately, guys feel like “hittin’ it raw” (sex without having to use a condom) is an achievement. It isn’t. It’s ESPECIALLY NOT an achievement when she offers the same thing to every guy she kicks it with. It’s actually potentially dangerous to your health, AND will land you on The Maury Show.
Thanks to “I’m on the pill”, a lot of dudes ended up funding 18 years of a kid’s life. Thanks to “I’m only kickin’ it with you”, a lot of dudes ended up in the free clinic.
Of course, that’s true for the ladies also.. Thanks to “I can’t have kids” (which is used surprisingly often by guys to get girls to *not* require condoms and apparently gets over a lot as well), a lot of gals ended up with kids. :/ Thanks to “I’m only kickin’ it with you”, a lot of women ended up in the free clinic… or worse….
Don’t try this at home.
Unfortunately.. This information’s only useful to you IF you can mentally, emotionally or empathically “Feel” your girlfriend. If you can’t, all you end up with is a bunch of situations where you find yourself going “Damn.. She lied about that.”.. “Damn.. She lied about THAT!”.. “Damn.. She lied about that TOO!”.. “Damn..”
If that’s the experience you’re having, then it’s NOT a good thing if your girl’s a liar, and you might want to think about trading her in for one that comes standard with the honesty feature. Either way, it’s better for you to talk to her as much as possible and get to know her ways of being and patterns before you get hornswoggled and end up with kids you didn’t ask for or looking like the dude on Monopoly, pulling your pockets inside-out to show how empty they are.