How To Clown Yourself

Make no mistake. This is not a post about how to CLONE yourself, but rather how to CLOWN yourself. Some guy caught feelin’s over what President Obama said in a speech the other night and screamed out “YOU LIE” while the President of The United States Of America was speaking. hahahahaha um… WHAT? hahahahahaha 😀

Here’s the video clip. Dude flips out at 1:28…

Now.. The Kid don’t care about politics AT. ALL. Not AT ALL! 😀 However, are several lessons to be learned here.

Hold Your Head

First of all, what you want to do in any situation, especially a situation where you’re in public, especially a situation when you’re around people you do business with, especially in a situation where you’re around your superiors, especially when you were PRIVILEGED enough to be sitting in the same room with the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, hahaha you don’t want to forget who you are and what your station is in life.

If you’re a member of the House of Representatives and the President is talking, STFU.

If you’re a Private in the armed forces, and a General is talking, STFU.

If you’re an employee and the CEO is talking, STFU.

This is known as RESPECT. If people begin to believe that you don’t know how to respect your superiors, you will be shunned. Beleedat. Your superiors will see you as an insubordinate. Your peers will see you as a liability. Nobody wants to be the man next to the man that can’t control himself. Nobody wants to suffer guilt by association.

If you were selected for or elected to a position of privilege, it’s because people believed that you could handle the pressure. People believed that you could do the business without becoming so emotionally wrapped up in the situation that you lose your cool and make your whole team look like JERKS. If you let it slip that you aren’t able to handle that responsibility, you will receive Das Boot… Quick, Fast, In A Hurry, Flava’s Vision Ain’t Blurry.

Mob Mentality

Also, don’t play yourself by aligning yourself with people that will murmur when they’re in a crowd of murmurers, but will STFU when it comes to individually expressing their opinions. There’s nothing wrong with (or illegal about) thinking that the POTUS is lying to you. There’s something wrong with you running your mouth when nobody offered you a chance to speak. There’s something wrong with you challenging someone you don’t have the authority or rank to challenge. Regardless of how many people agree with what you said, they STILL wouldn’t have done what you did. To them, that’s what separates them from the savages and you just marked yourself as a savage.

A lot of people go out like suckers in this fashion. They feel like because everyone else is hooting and hollering and saying stuff under their breaths that they wouldn’t dare say out loud, in public, in a business environment, in the presence of their superiors and ON VIDEOTAPE, SO THE WORLD CAN CHECK IT OUT ON YOUTUBE that if they scream out something that they know that they and their team believe that their team is going to back their play.


Your team will back your play as long as you play your position. If you’re a benchwarmer, you don’t get to substitute yourself into the game for the star running back. You don’t get to request the ball for the last shot instead of Michael Jordan. You don’t get to tell Tiger Woods how he should putt. You get to STFU and be happy that people think you’re up to the challenge of being in the game without being the best player. If you want to scream on people, get elected President so EVERYBODY ELSE needs to STFU when YOU’RE speaking.

Damage Control

Next thing you know, your boys give you a SHELLACKING for making them look uncivilized. That’s the point here. It’s not that they disagree with you.. It’s that you expressed yourself like a savage and made EVERYONE ON YOUR TEAM look bad so they send you out to the reporters so you can fall on your sword with some statement like:

“Well, I, uh… Last night, uh, heard from the leadership that they, uh, wanted me to contact The White House, uh, and state that, UHHHHHHH, my, uh, statements, uh, were inappropriate. I did. I’m very grateful, uh, that The White House, in talking with them, uh, they indicated that, uh, they appreciated the call, and that we needed to have a civil discussion about the Health Care issues, and I certainly agree with that.”

UMMMMM…. NO. #*$&%^@. DUH! Are you kidding me? What?… NOW, you feel like you agree that you need to have a civil discussion instead of BLURTING OUT HOW YOU FEEL when The President of the United States of America is speaking? 😀 HAHAHAHAHA oh. nice.

This is known as Damage Control. You’ve already made yourself a laughing stock and a poster boy for your entire team. You’re like that chick that gave it up and then fell in love when the dude was on to the next chick already and forgot what your name is… IF he had ever asked you in the first place. Discretion is the better part of valor. There’s a reason why these pundits go on television and disagree with each other and make sure they show a big toothy grin when they’re finished. It’s all part of the game. The reason you made it to the position you made it to was because people felt like you understood the game and could handle it. NOW, your job is going to be HANDLING taking all the blame yourself so the rest of your team can try to play you off like keyboard cat.

Insult To Injury

Next, you get to look like even MORE OF A CHUMP when the guy you interrupted with your outburst calmly, rationally and intelligently accepts your apology:

See what happened to you? He didn’t even need to address what you said. Now you look small, and it sounds like you FEEL small by the way your voice was cracking when you were trying to memorize and regurgitate that fake apology like Chris Brown.

Nobody wants to hear about “The Heat Of The Moment”. Nobody wants to hear that you were acting spontaneously. You are not a freestyle rapper. You don’t get your money from record labels. You get your money for ACTING CIVILLY and FOLLOWING THE RULES. If you can’t do that, someone else will be sitting in your seat after the next election/selection period.

The Point

The point is that once you achieve a certain level in society or business, you can’t afford to act “common”. You can’t afford to throw popcorn at the television. You can’t afford to throw shoes at Presidents. You can’t afford to get caught up in your emotions when you’re supposed to be sitting still and SHUTTING THE %&$^ UP when your superior is speaking.

If you can’t follow the rules, you get demoted or ejected. There are lots of avenues available to you to express your opinion in a civil fashion. It’s not like this is your ONE CHANCE TO SPEAK, when you’re sitting in a crowd of hundreds of people that are following the rules. It’s bad enough when the General asks for a volunteer and you don’t step forward but everyone else steps back so you get caught out there. It’s even worse when you call attention to yourself, not for your beliefs but for the fact that you weren’t able to control yourself, which makes you look bad, makes your teammate next to you look bad, and makes YOUR SUPERIORS on your team look bad when they’re trying everything they can to make it look like they deserve to sit at the grown-ups table instead of the kiddie table.

Play your position and your team will back your play. Strike out going for a Home Run when they told you to Bunt, and you’re going to find yourself on the bench, traded to another Major League team or demoted to the minors.

~ Bill Cammack

*EDIT*: It turns out that Keith Olbermann finished this same guy off with a 36-hit combo. WoW! 😀

5 thoughts on “How To Clown Yourself”

  1. Very nice post. However, the President is not the superior of any Congressman. Those are equal branches of government.

    On the other hand, in the United Kingdom, the Prime Minister is the superior of the Parliament, and yet look at how they treat him: When he tries to get away with a bold faced lie, they refuse to take it quietly. Perhaps because, instead of respecting each other, they respect their constituents!

    1. Be that as it may, hahaha (and I defer to your knowledge of politics, since I don’t care about politics), I’m sure that a gathering like that is governed by something similar to Robert’s Rules of Order, which calls for whomever doesn’t have the floor to S*T*F*U* unless someone recognizes them.

      You can’t have a speech where people randomly express their feelings. If that’s the case, you’re going to have other people express their feelings about what this first person bellowed and then you’re never going to get to the end of the speech! 😀

    2. Let’s not miss the point – Wilson was wrong. If he didn’t know it, he should have. If he did know it, he’s completely contemptible.

  2. How To Clown Yourself Part Deux:

    Get up on stage, while someone with a bigger fan base than you is accepting an award, and calmly interrupt that persons heart felt thank yous to let the world know that YOU think your opinion is worth more than anyones elses. Kanye west… The latest in a long line of respected graduates from the Phi Slamma Clown-ass Dumb Phuck fraternity.

    Even if you think he was right (and I happen to think that he was…) there is a time and a place for everything. Someone needs to remind him that the only thing seperating his opinion from mine is the tax bracket we each occupy!! Otherwise, its your opinion. I welcome the chance to discuss it BUT not at the expense of another person.

    1. Yeah. For real. It’s like, come on. Give me a break. THE CHICK didn’t do anything to Beyonce. THE JUDGES selected her video instead. Period. Get up and interrupt THE JUDGES when they have something to say, because you don’t agree with THEM. That was, of course, lame as hell.

      The only difference, of course, being that people like that get their props from being controversial. He can’t get fined like Serena Williams did for yelling at the line judge in her U.S. Open match. All that’s going to happen is that he’s going to get more publicity and sell more records, so it’s not a problem for him, business-wise. Of course, it was just completely rude and mad corny. :/

      However, he cleared the way for Beyonce to save the day by inviting Taylor Swift back onstage with her to have some more time in the spotlight. Good On Beyonce! 😀

      Beyonce & Taylor Swift

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