“If we ‘stfu’, and didn’t do all the other things that make us women, why would you want to hang out with us?”

We wouldn’t.

Beleedat! >:D

I’m not saying at all that women should be quiet. I’m also not saying that men are NEVER listening to women. There are some guys that actually care what women think. Those guys will typically ASK YOU how you feel or how your day was or how work was or whatever they want to hear or whatever they think you’d like to talk about.

What I *AM* saying is that a lot of women waste a lot of breath talking about stuff guys neither care about nor listen to nor retain for any discernable amount of time. It’s just not necessary, because it’s just blathering on and there’s no useful information contained in her soliloquy.

Let’s say for instance that you were walking by the store and saw this dress and went inside and tried it on and you look BAD AS HELL in it and you bought it and it was X amount of dollars and then you caught the bus and then transferred to the subway and then walked 12 blocks to get home and your man was there when you arrived.

Instead of wasting time telling him all the stuff I just typed, go your ass in the bedroom, change into the dress and place yourself within his line of sight. After he finishes going “WHO? WHAT? WHEN? WHERE? WHAT? WHY? WHO?…..” I’ll bet there will be a lot of things he wants to talk about or listen to YOU talk about while he figures out how to get you back out of that dress. >:D

Do it the other way, and all you’re saying is “Yadda Yadda Yadda” while he ignores you and tries to watch the game in peace.

“No mess, no fuss, no hurt feelings, no hour of wasted time that could have been better spent perusing Sak’s shoe catalogue.”

hahahahaha Propers! Propers! haha :D I’m all about DiY Sex. Every gal should have her Bob (Battery-Operated Boyfriend).

“WE don’t fake because we think you care. We fake it because we were nice enough to ‘do it’, when we really didn’t want to, but you looked so damn cute, (see above post)”

That’s an interesting concept, Kay. :D I never thought of that because sex is in a girlfriend/fiancee/wife’s job description, or else they’d be… you guessed it… a FRIEND! :D

The “gift” to a guy is the gal laying down in the first place. Faking Orgasms is above and beyond duty. It’s just not necessary.

Most gals complain about dudes tappin’ it then rolling over and falling asleep without asking them JACK-**** about whether she got off or not (or, even more egregiously rudely, just falling asleep right there on top of her so she has to figure out how to get dislodged so she can go get a drink of water and retrieve her Bob from its resting/hiding place.

So, Yeah.. I can see that if dude is one of those 1970′s Blaxploitation Film sex-having dudes that keeps inquiring whether she got off every other minute, it would be a good idea for a sistah to fake it so he can stop doing her the favor of holding out before doing his thing and hopefully rolling off of her before he starts snoring.

“OR, maybe we got one, and you are intent on us getting two. Or three. Male ego again…so we gotta keep you thinking you da man. Maybe we didn’t fake the first one, just the second one.”

Damn.. Now you’re starting to get TECHNICAL up in this piece! :/

Faked. Orgasms. *AFTER*. A. Real. One…… o_O

“I had this conversation with a S.O. once. He told me I was lying. No way I had ever faked it. Hmmm….OK! Yes Bill, like Meg Ryan, we really are that good, yet none of this has ever happened ‘to you’.”

I would like to listen in on a town hall about this kind of thing because I really don’t have an opinion on women faking orgasms except that it’s a STUPID IDEA and isn’t conducive to the dude ACTUALLY LEARNING what he needs to do to get her off so she doesn’t have to Bob it up after the fact (or before the fact, or during the fact…).

Me, Myself, Personally.. I couldn’t give a flying **** whether a chick got off or not unless that’s specifically what I set out to do. :D

It’s like how self-lubrication is irrelevant to guys that use condoms because condoms are waterproof. I can’t join in on the conversation about “Her ***** was good because it was wet” because it really doesn’t matter how hard it’s raining when you’re rockin’ an umbrella and a raincoat. o_O

So.. The way *I* see it.. I do my thing, she enjoys it or she doesn’t (I’ll do what I can to hook her up), I *DEFINITELY* enjoy it, then get my cuddle & post-sex lovey-dovey chat on whether I feel like it or not and then my job is done. :D

Anywayyyyy…

We definitely want women to be women. That doesn’t come with an automatic pass that everything y’all say is useful, relevant or worth listening to.

In fact.. If I can “uh huh. yeah? really? you don’t say? uh huh. WHOOOOOO! no way! you don’t say? really?” my way through a ‘conversation’ with you, you ought to be ashamed of yourself to begin with for not recognizing that someone’s ignoring you.

The way y’all can tell is to just suddenly stop talking…. If no more sounds occur, he wasn’t listening to you and didn’t notice that you finished. :D

Love your web site, Bill, and I believe you speak TRUTH to many who don’t want to hear it.

However, I’m feeling the need to play it for the guys, too. If we ‘stfu’, and didn’t do all the other things that make us women, why would you want to hang out with us?

And don’t get me started about ‘faking an orgasm’ has ANYTHING to do with the man’s lack of ability. If she can’t get one, blame her. If I am in urgent need of an O, I reach for Mr. Brook Stone, AKA the neck massager, AKA pocket rocket. No mess, no fuss, no hurt feelings, no hour of wasted time that could have been better spent perusing Sak’s shoe catalogue.

WE don’t fake because we think you care. We fake it because we were nice enough to ‘do it’, when we really didn’t want to, but you looked so damn cute, (see above post), sooo….OK. But then we realize “it” isn’t going to happen. That’s because we really DO like to look at shoes, and sunsets, and “damn, how do HER appetizers always look better than mine”, and those things start racing in our heads, and there you are. On top. Grunting. And we are multi-taskers, knowing, if we don’t ‘get one’, you will go on…and on….and on….(kind of like us talking.) If we fake one, you get yours, we can go back to thinking about kittens and puppies, and you can watch the ball game.

OR, maybe we got one, and you are intent on us getting two. Or three. Male ego again…so we gotta keep you thinking you da man. Maybe we didn’t fake the first one, just the second one.

I had this conversation with a S.O. once. He told me I was lying. No way I had ever faked it. Hmmm….OK! Yes Bill, like Meg Ryan, we really are that good, yet none of this has ever happened ‘to you’. I have yet to meet a man it has ever happened to! (However, if we get to dress up, and go out, and we think you are listening to us, we get all mushy inside, and then…NO FAKING!)

To Christine’s point, we love to love men. And make stupid appetizers for him that he won’t appreciate. It’s a girl thing.

Kay

P.S. Please note I am being slightly facetious about kittens and puppies. It could just as easily be the stock market and NFL games. Usually all three.