According to Webster’s, one of the definitions of “Classy” is “Having or reflecting high standards of personal behavior”. Of course, that has to be measured subjectively, by the individual that’s judging for themselves what’s classy and what isn’t. If you take “society’s standards” as a point of reference, there are areas where I exhibit class and areas where I don’t.
I was walking down the street with a friend of mine one sunny afternoon as we were enjoying the day together. We had just come from the museum and were heading to one of my favorite places to eat and after that we were going to head to the movies. I was running my mouth about something and I noticed that there was a lady pushing an older lady in a wheelchair and she was attempting to enter a store, having understandable difficulty with the door.
Instinctively, and probably in mid-sentence, I hustled over and grabbed the door so the woman could easily push the other lady inside. They both smiled and thanked me and I smiled and said “You’re Welcome”. A few seconds later, my friend caught up, and I continued whatever I was talking about at the time.
She was smiling and says to me something like “That was really nice of you”.. To which, I replied “What was?”. I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about and started scanning my story for something in it that she might have been referring to.
When she told me she was talking about my helping the ladies enter the store, she was actually REMINDING ME that I helped the ladies enter the store. I had completely forgotten about it within seconds. That’s because I was acting instinctively and doing what I felt NEEDED to be done at that point in time. They were having trouble entering. I was trivially running my mouth. I was ABLE to help them and I hustled over to do that. Doing anything else would have been WRONG, to me. Watching them struggle to get inside and walking by with my companion like as if I didn’t see that they needed help would have been WRONG, to me. All I did was what I was SUPPOSED to do, IMO, so as quickly as it occurred to me, it was forgotten by me just as easily as I had forgotten whether I had stepped first with my left or right foot when I stepped off the curb to cross the street.
The funny thing is that it actually WAS automatic. Yes, it would have been a good gimmick to help someone in front of a chick to make her feel like you’re a great guy, huh but that’s not why I did it. I also didn’t do it to avoid looking like a chump. A lot of people do stuff that’s outside of their character because they know what’s Politically Correct at this point in time. They don’t do things because they WANT TO or because they actually FEEL they should be done, but rather in order to avoid public scrutiny or becoming a pariah on the back-channel.
Some things are automatic to people, such as making sure that a woman you’re spending time with gets inside her apartment building safely after spending time with you. Again, it’s not a gimmick. 😀 It’s not the old “Let me walk you home to make sure you get there safelyâ€¦. OHâ€¦ I need to use the bathroom” trick to get inside your house. 🙂 If I wanted to make out with you, I would just do it wherever we are. There’s no need for me to be in your apartment. There IS a need, for me, to feel like as I’M heading home without incident, SHE got home without incident before I did.
That’s not to say I’m a nice guy. 😀 Everybody that knows me knows that I play by my own rules, especially when it comes to chicks. I am absolutely NOT to be trusted around chicks. I know it. Everybody else that knows me knows it. Women I meet for the first time in life can feel it. I’m addicted to women. I’m chasing a high. If being around her makes me high, it’s *ON* and ALL. BETS. ARE. OFF.
So, how do we measure class? How do we determine if someone is classy when they exhibit both chivalrous and treacherous behavior within seconds of each other?
Perhaps it comes down to a list of pros and cons? The greater good? The most good to the most people? More instances of chivalry than treachery?
When I was growing up, I was a bully. Yes, I was usually the smallest guy in a group, but I was always one of the best at sports and definitely one of the fastest thinkers and most caustic, abrasive ‘snappers’ (contests between people to attempt to say things to make yourself seem superior to others or make others feel inferior to you or just make them feel poorly in general). I’ve also always had a crew, ever since I can remember, back in Kindergarten. I’ve always had lots of friends and followers. I’ve had a lot of haters as well, which were well deserved back in the day, because I used to play for keeps if someone tried to dis me. Especially if I felt your verbal attack was unwarranted, I would talk about you all day, every day, until you decided that you weren’t going to challenge me EVAR AGAIN! It just wasn’t worth it.
Eventually, my belief system changed up. My first reaction was to blame myself for being a jerk. 🙂 I did this for who knows how many years and then I settled in the feeling that you can be as conceited as you want, so long as you don’t push your conceit on others. “I am GREAT!” doesn’t have to be accompanied by “You are WACK!”. They’re actually two entirely different sentiments and one can be expressed without the other. The trick isn’t in attempting to change how you personally feel, but rather in how you express yourself to others and mind their feelings when you interact with them.
Some people would consider this Class, and others would not. Some people feel that classy behavior is only to be found in people that are always nice to everyone and always PC and always exhibit traits that they personally consider to be classy. That’s all well & good. You can’t please everyone. This will be apparent in your Facebook Friends Count and your feed subscription stats.
It’s actually kind of funny that the first thing that occurs to me when I’m considering people disliking something I say or do in terms of online subscriptions! 😀 Anywayyyyâ€¦..
The way I feel about it, there’s no reason not to be cordial towards people. It’s like my man Swayze said in Road Houseâ€¦ “Be Niceâ€¦ Until it’s time to NOT BE NICE”! 😀 If you don’t have a bellhop’s outfit on, they’re supposed to smile at you and acknowledge you or say “Thank you”. Just in case you end up doing something nice for a jerk who doesn’t recognize that and acts like they DESERVE for you to hold the door for them, make sure you remember to say “That’s alright.. My dog doesn’t speak either.”
~ Bill Cammack | @BillCammack