Video Games & Dating, Part 01

Bill Cammack - Steel Battalion Champion!Ladies… If you really want to learn about your man’s personality, hang around him when he’s playing video games.

All of y’all that are dating gamers know I’m telling the truth.

The way he plays his games is the exact same way he’s going to interact with YOU….. um… assuming that he cares as much about YOU as he does his VIDEO GAMES….. which isn’t likely.


What game are we playing, anyway?

I don’t know much about dudes that play Mario Bash Bash or Dance Dance Revolution or whatever cutesy, corny games they make these days. I know about FPS. First Person Shooters. War Simulations. They’re still called “games” because Atari was a game. You had a little cutesy tank and would shoot a little square at the other cutesy tank and try to hit it more times than it hit you.

Technology has improved to the point that these so-called “games” are now being utilized as preparations for actual war.

I found this out from watching my friend Baratunde Thurston‘s show Popular Science’s “Future Of…”.

One of the episodes is about the future of Combat, and it’s rather enlightening…

Popular Science: The Future of the Military — Perhaps

Drones have become common battlefield tools in the past decade but are typically controlled at the company or battalion level, which respectively have about 135 and 650 soldiers apiece. FCS wants tools like the UAV at the platoon (approximately 40 soldiers) and even squad (10 members) level. The vision is also to expand the range of applications. The Massachusetts-based company iRobot manufactures a PackBot currently deployed overseas, which the military uses primarily to scout for improvised explosive devices, while the SUGV, also made by iRobot, may one day lead infantry assaults like the one I witnessed. A single soldier can comfortably tote a SUGV, and the controller, copied almost directly from that of an Xbox game console, was designed to be intuitively easy for a young recruit to use.


Look Familiar?: The controls for FCS unmanned
vehicles are modeled after those used for video
game consoles
Photo Credit: Brent Humphreys

One of the soldiers handed me the controller; I donned the head-up display and started driving. The robot crashed into a wall. After practicing for a few minutes, I was able to steer into one of the buildings and scan for insurgents. There was something exciting — and faintly disturbing — about the notion that I could help battle insurgents with technology that felt only slightly elevated from the R/C cars of my childhood. But I wasn’t totally sold. Removing the display, I asked what would prevent an enemy from shooting the SUGV as soon as he spotted it. “Nothing,” replied one of the soldiers nearby, Lt.-Col. Ed House. “But if he does, we know he’s there, so the SUGV has accomplished its mission. Better to shoot a robot than a soldier.”

So.. Laugh all you want while people call our war simulations “games”, but that’s not what’s actually going on.

Dominance

One of the things that a lot of women can’t grasp is why guys do the confrontational things we do. We fight. We go to war. We remain in the rat race when we’re already rich and have more money than we’re ever going to spend during whatever’s left of our lives…..

This is because we’re built to prove that we’re better than the next man.

This is why we cheer for our home team.

New York is better than Philadelphia on this day in Football. Montreal is better than California on this day in Baseball. Our country beat the living **** out of your country in a war, so we get to tell you what to do and/or steal all of your oil.

This is our lives. This is what matters. This is what moves us. This is what we’re passionate about.

THIS is what’s going on when we’re online playing video “games”. YOU stepped to ME on an equal battlefield where you had the same opportunity to select guns and power-ups as I did and I *WAXED* you!… SIT. THE. ****. DOWN! 😀 That’s what it’s all about. Proving minute after minute that you’re better than someone else. If you don’t understand how good that feels, you’ll never understand hardcore gamers.

I’ve personally (thanks to my teammates and other people I’ve made alliances with via gaming) been #1 in the world in a game that took two months to play. When the smoke cleared and the dust settled, I was BY FAR the #1 base capturer, planet-wide. There were players from the USA, Japan, England, France and a few other scattered countries that were represented in the game. Also, the guy I left in the dust at #2, I happen to know he was cheating, because I know him and played with AND against him.

That’s the flag I planted. I planted it for myself. I planted it for my team. I planted it for my country. It’s in the books. It’s a done deal. You can NOT take that away from me, EV*A*R. This is what we do. We represent ourselves. We represent our friends. People talk about us in languages we don’t even understand, because they respect our skills and the dignity with which we carry ourselves whether we win or lose. If you’ve never felt this, I can’t explain to you how important it is or how good it feels. If you’ve never gone into matches where people wrote you off because they’ve never heard of you and then you defeat a team that everyone agrees is one of the tightest squads playing the game today and then people STILL don’t want to give you your propers.. I can’t explain how that feels to you. If you’ve never beaten up A SECOND HERALDED TEAM in the same tournament and the peons don’t want to give you your props, but both of the teams you beat have respect for you (and you for them) that’s lasted to this very day… I can’t explain to you how that feels. 🙂

Dating

What does this have to do with dating? 😀 Well… Before that day we got drunk and went out to the club and you were looking good and we decided to kick it to you because you were HAWT and turning us on… We were gaming with our homeboys.

Before you got added to the roster, we already had a bunch of IRL friends and online friends. You’re going to have to make your way up the ladder. You don’t get instant props because you’re the “girlfriend”. Going to your moms’s house for Sunday dinner isn’t high up on our list of things to do.

Sitting around on a bench with the other henpecked boyfriends at the mall while you shop for duplicate pairs of black shoes that you don’t even need to waste your money on isn’t high up on our list of things to do. That chick-flick you rented on DVD might never see the inside of our XBOX or Playstation3, ya dig? 😀

At the same time that you’re at a decided disadvantage if you date a gamer, you also have an unique opportunity to be around him when he’s being REAL. You’d be surprised that some of the most calm, intelligent, cerebral dudes will be screaming and cursing at the top of their lungs when people mess up and do the wrong thing or the game jerks them. huh Some friends of mine didn’t know who I am and challenged me to one-on-one games of HALO. I hadn’t even PLAYED HALO in months, but thank God my skillz came online after about 10 minutes and I pistoled and sniper-rifled them to death so many times that both of the top dogs at the party quit and didn’t want to play anymore. I would have been severely embarrassed and depressed, had I lost to them, considering that my boy Mak and I used to whip ass on the guy that won the first HALO tournament and his crew DAILY before he won and received his MLG contract (meaning we never saw him again, or else we’d STILL be whipping his ass to this day). I tried to lighten the party’s atmosphere by informing the guys I beat that there was no way they should have beaten me anyway, because I’m a World-Class FPS gamer, but they were still shell-shocked haha 😀

It’s easy for a guy to be cool, friendly & gentlemanly around you when you’re out on a date because nothing important’s happening. Yeah, he’s trying to convince you to give him some, but that’s really a reflection on YOU. When he’s gaming, it’s a reflection on HIM and his self-esteem and self-perception. Dating is basically wasting time waiting for the chick to give it up. It’s a bunch of downtime until you get to the nitty-gritty. When you’re the last guy (as usual) left on your team and it’s up to you to defeat three or four other players and accomplish your objective, that’s when every split second counts and life gets REAL.

If you have the opportunity to be around your SO when he’s in this zone, you’ll see who he really is. You’ll see what matters to him.. what makes his heart pump faster. Ask him to take out the trash now, and you might get a response you didn’t expect. Ask him if he loves you now, and he might ignore you completely. He probably didn’t actually even HEAR YOU because he’s so immersed in the game. Tell him you’re ready to go to church, and maybe he’ll quit the game to drive you there… maybe he’ll put the controller down so he can see you to the door and lock you out… maybe he’ll ignore you completely… maybe he’ll split the difference and without looking up from his game, say “PAYCE!!!… Don’t let the door HIT’cha where the Good Lord SPLIT’cha! :D”

~ Bill Cammack | @BillCammack/@DatingGenius

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10 Comments

  1. Another great article.

    Pay attention ladies when your dude is gaming is when he is most likely to let his guard down and be 100% real and now when he does he can’t pull a T-pain and blame it on the alcohol.

    on another note bill i never knew you played halo i would love to play you a couple of matches see if i can keep up with a “world class fps player”

    1. You wouldn’t be impressed at this point, C Jay. I’m talking about REAL MAN’S HALO.. Meaning playing the original HALO with weapons set to only pistols & assault rifles or pistols & sniper rifles, no radar, no vehicles except warthogs, Capture The Flag, 3 caps wins, no time limit.

      I’m talking about, with zero exaggeration, 3-Hour Games sometimes, with zero headset communication, because Xbox Live hadn’t been created yet and we were playing on Gamespy and Xbox Connect.

      Of the people that were down at that time, I was in either the #2 or #3 clan. I can’t remember. One of my clan members was in the finals of the first HALO tournament but lost to the dude that me and my other boy used to whip up on on the regular.

      I didn’t enter the first tournament because it was corny. Stupid gametypes like that one where you had to hold the skull to win, and they were playing with radar on and ghosts and those other tank-vehicles in the games. I *never* played those settings, so I wasn’t interested. Having said that, I still would have been embarrassed to be beaten by some civilians at a party! 😀

      Once they made Xbox Live, they screwed up the HALO franchise by making it scrub-friendly. People were bitching about how badly they were getting whipped with pistols, which were the starting weapons, so they nerfed the guns, meaning that they took all the power out of the pistols. Even dual-wielding, you’d have to reload to drop one opponent. In the original game, three hits from the pistol and a player was TOAST and you still had enough ammo to take out another one before hiding and reloading. They completely jacked up the game and made it a newbie-combo-fest, so I played it recreationally with my friends, but never seriously after that.

      Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 is about to be what’s up!

      1. You already know bill as soon as modren warfare 2 drops i will be on it i never really play COD4 due to the fact that all my friends/ brothers and cousins play halo 3 but i liked it from the jump and its gonna be hot sadly so hot that its gonna knock of the halo franchise. just hit me up with your gamer tag and maybe we can link up some time i dont play as much as i used to but i still got it!

        1. Will do. MW2 drops on the 10th. Two weeks to go! 😀

          The problem with HALO 3 is that they catered to the scrubs and basically all you need is the newbie combo where you shoot the plasma pistol and switch to your assault rifle and kill dudes immediately. The two choices you have are to use that combo against the people that are using it against you or lose out in firefights. Not interested.

          Updated info on MW2 can be found @ http://www.fourzerotwo.com/

          1. Bill,

            im going to have to disagree while some halo 3 play lists cater to scrubs (soft core gamers) there are lists that cater to us hardcore people were no newbie combo’s don’t exist.
            P.s: did u really invent flag throwing if so Big Up’s to you. It has changed the face of CTF for ever.

            1. I’ll defer to what you have to say about HALO 3 playlists, because I haven’t played that game online multiplayer in at least two years. I have no idea what it’s like now. I know why I quit playing it. 🙂

              As far as flag-throwing, I’m a stickler for PROOF and since I have none (as in videotaped evidence of the date when I started it), I’m not going to claim some sort of official status, but yes, I invented flag-throwing, amongst other things in various games I’ve played.

              I invented it on Blood Gulch. I’m a flag-runner and the problem I was having was that I could sneak into the base well enough, but as soon as I grabbed the flag, I had to run all the way out of the ground level where the flag stand is, 1/4 of the way around the base to one of the ramps going to the roof, all the way up that ramp and then to the teleporter. By the time that happened, the other team was either on top of their base waiting for me, right behind me to follow me through the teleporter or on their way to their teleporter exit to intercept me.

              I was like “There’s got to be a better way”.

              So what I would do is sneak to the enemy’s base but not grab the flag. When I was in position, I’d sit there as long as I needed to (sometimes 10-15 minutes) for one of my other teammates to make it to the enemy base. When they got there, I told them to stand on the roof, right at the edge of the hole in the middle but on the side of the teleporter and hold down their ‘A’ button (I think it was the ‘A’ button, haha whichever one allows you to grab something). I would then run into the base, grab the flag, jump up in the air and press ‘A’ (I think) and that would eject the flag. The reason you were able to do that was so you didn’t have to melee with it when you had the flag, you could put it down and shoot. However, by looking up on an angle and jumping up in the air and throwing it at the right time, the flag would pop up just enough for my teammate on the roof to “catch” it.

              As soon as I grabbed the flag and it was announced, the other team would look at their base, but all they would see is my teammate already going through the teleporter. Also, I was on my way around the base to the ramp to back them up or to snipe from the enemy roof towards their teleporter exit. From there, it was a wrap.

              Once we did this several times to other players, I started seeing people doing it also. I never saw anyone do it before me or heard of anyone doing it before I did, so as far as I’m concerned, I invented flag-throwing (but, like I said.. I have ZERO proof of this other than the people who were there at the time).

              The next phase of flag-throwing was on CTF on Hang Em High. Instead of running back with the flag across that bridge and taking my chances, I would sneak to the enemy base, tell my teammates to spawn up and hide, then I would grab the flag and jump off the top of the base and throw the flag diagonally up into the air before I started coming down. This would pitch the flag into the middle of the board, and depending on how many bounces I got, it would go most of the way to my base.

              Once that happened, my team would rush out from where they were hiding and get the flag and keep it moving towards our base. I’d join in after I respawned. Since the other team wasn’t expecting the flag to be suddenly in the middle of the field, we had the advantage.

              While we’re on the subject of HALO, along with my teammate Mak, I also invented blocking the teleporter for the purpose of capping the flag. Of course, blocking the teleporter was common in deathmatches already so you could control where your enemy could go. What I added was picking up rockets and driving the warthog so it sat on the enemy teleporter exit. From there, Mak would stand mid-field and pick off the enemy whle I made my way between the dunes down the middle to the base.

              Once I got there, I would grab the flag and rush up to the roof. The enemy normally wouldn’t be anywhere near since they had to WALK their asses from their base and were getting picked off. They were usually trying to make their way through the side caves when I grabbed the flag. From the roof, I would rocket the warthog, blasting it off of the teleporter exit so I could get through, teleport through, roll the warthog over and drive home with the flag. If the enemy was too close for me to take the time to roll the truck, I’d just run towards our base and have my team back me up and pick up the flag if I went down.

              Another technique was immediately hitting “reverse” as soon as I went through the teleporter with an enemy in hot pursuit. I go through, back up, they come through and get meleed with the flag.

              Anyway, that’s my job, creating strategies. I also invented “dinging the pole” in Steel Battallion: Line of Contact, which is what that first picture in this post shows.. my Steel Battallion controller.

              1. Understood the point is even if you weren’t the first to do it you did it on your own. also just to give you a taste of how halo 3 has been completely overhauled you know have specific lists for full MLG setting means you get to play the exacts settings they use i haven’t played in a while but i think that its only gotten better however now its all about MWF2. looking forward to part 2 maybe you can talk about sports games like madden or how you should never (EVER!!!) walk in front of the TV and never ask us to pause we cant pause live action.

                1. Thanks for the info, C Jay. It’s good that they did that. I’ll look into what those settings are, and maybe I’ll get back on the game sometime. Probably not, because I’m actually not interested and I’m mentally perfectly in tune with my Modern Warfare button/stick assignments. If I go to another game now, I won’t be able to hit the ground running.

                  That’s a good idea to talk about sports games. As you know, FPS are real-time games as well. There is no “Let’s talk about this and that” when I’m the last guy alive and need to figure out how to defeat or evade the three remaining members of the opposition and complete the objective.

                  As a matter of fact, there’s no “Let’s talk about ANYTHING AT ALL” when it’s game-time. 😀

  2. Great article but MY Girl games and she’s a killer too. jea!

    Some advice ladies, when your man is gaming he doesnt want to talk to YOU. Don’t take it personal just give him his space. Gaming is something that HE likes to do. he gamed before you he’ll game AFTER you. Just because your in a relationship doesnt mean he gives up his recreation. Besides if he’s home gaming he’s not out cheating.

    1. That’s not a “but”. 🙂 You happen to be one of the rarely lucky few that has a girl that’s better than you really good at FPS. Props for that! 😀

      My ex wasn’t good, but she listened to instructions. I could send her to get the flag while I covered her, or I could drive her to the base in the warthog, have her stand on top, throw the flag up to her (which I invented), have her run through the teleporter while I got killed and run the flag to the base while I respawned and took out anyone that made it through the teleporter after her. That was a good time, but NOTHING compared to actually being able to hold a position with your girl and pull out the “W” for your team or at least hold it down until reinforcements arrive.

      I need to recruit a few chicks for MW2 so I can get my Bosley from Charlie’s Angels on! 😀

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