Let’s say a chick just wasn’t my physical type. What are you gonna say? :D “No thanks.. I’m not into that type of ass”? hahaha No, you’re going to make up SOMETHING ELSE that makes her feel better about herself and achieves the same outcome = you don’t have to hit it.

As far as feelings for his ex coming back, that’s possible, but that should have been what he said, instead of “I don’t want to be in a relationship right now”.

Also, “feelings for an ex” aren’t usually going to stop a guy from wanting to have sex with another chick that turns him on. He should have said something like he felt like he was cheating on his ex when he was with you, or that he still only feels like having sex with his ex.

Ultimately, communication is key in relationships. Y’all can either inform each other of what’s going on so you’re on the same page, or you can’t. If you’re not talking now, you’re right.. That’s the main information you need right now.

Also, Keep in mind that some guys are only interested in hooking up with a chick one time, because after that, you already know you can get it, so what’s the point? \o/

It’s like the chase and the game are the important part, not the actual sex.

I’m not saying that’s what happened here. I’m just saying that women need to be aware that there are guys whose demeanor changes entirely after the fact, and it has nothing to do with her and everything to do with him, because that’s the way his body works.

I did ask him..He mentioned to me that he did love us being together..and he mentioned twice that he wanted me to come back and visit him again. But he couldnt offer me more than friendship because he was recently out of a relationship and didnt want one now.

The thing was that his language before we met..was always *us*..Yeah , I know you are rolling your eyes about now. And I am really not that dumb, but in our recent conversations he gave off a more sincere vibe.

But you know what..No matter how hard it is, I do have a feeling that you are right.

It could may well be that he didnt like the sex or how i reacted to it or whatever. Even if I wasnt loud at all..But maybe the ‘yes baby’, was enough to kill it. (in that case I dont even want a weak ass like that)

A guy friend told me..that it might be that he’s way more sensitive than I thought at first and that maybe his feelings from the ex rushed back in. Because a guy doesnt have any difficulties nailing a woman all weekend if he hasnt got any feelings for her.

But you know..usually the simplest answer is the closest to the truth..and often the hardest to hear.

I mean..if after all that time, he never felt he wanted to touch me again.. It simply has to mean that he just was not attracted to me in that way. He simply lost his initial desire after he was relieved of his urges.

And I don’t want a guy who doesnt desire me. It was just confusing to figure out or to accept the truth. But my guess is that that has been the case and he just couldnt say it.

So it’s all good now. I have learned something new. We aren’t in contact anymore..and silence is the great storyteller..So thats the end for me.

Thank you :-)
Have a nice weekend

Off the bat, two potential problems come to mind.

a) He didn’t like the sex.
b) He didn’t like your reaction to the sex.

I find that women tend to forget, dismiss, or just not bring up the things that they do and say, SURROUNDING sex events.

Let’s say a dude’s into quiet sex, but the chick is all running her mouth about “AYE PAPI!” and “OH YEAH, JUST LIKE THAT! :D”.. As much as he might have enjoyed the physicality of the sex and liked how her body feels and how she looks and her face and hair and all that, he might not be willing to go through that again. The ends don’t justify the means.

Sometimes, guys like chicks that move a lot and she doesn’t. Sometimes, guys like chicks that don’t move, and she does. There are lots of things that can go wrong in what seems to be a perfectly successful sexual encounter, even though both people got off.

Also, the (typical) way that you’re talking about this event, “have his heart”, “I was weak”, indicates that you may have had some strange conversations with him surrounding the event.

If dudes want to hook up with a chick and figure she’s a grown-ass woman that knows what she wants and goes for it, nobody’s trying to hear that bait & switch garbage about relationships and marriages and “hearts”.

Ain’t that type-a party.

At the same time, just because a guy doesn’t wanna stick it, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you as a person, like how you look, like to spend time with you, maybe even hug you and make out with you, but actually getting to the nitty gritty isn’t worth his time or effort or what he’s going to have to suffer through after the fact, listening to plans that you want to talk about that he never had any intention of getting involved in.

Ultimately, you’re going to have to ask HIM what the deal is if you want any chance of knowing the real deal. There’s probably a 50% chance that he’ll actually tell you what he sexually thinks of you, so it’s worth a try for your own peace of mind.

I came across your blog when i tried looking for an answer to a problem. I have flown over to visit a friend, a guy i met online..and had been talking to for years of and on. We met, hit it off very passionately..as in had sex. as this has been a long time brewing. I stayed with hem for 4 days and 3 nights. but never again had he touched me sexually or kissed me since after the first evening. When i arrived he told me that he had split from his ex 2 months ago but that he ended it and wasnt really looking for anything… and since i didnt even know that there was a recent ex, that shook me some, as i hadnt planned on becoming an international bootycall or something. But due to our chemistry..i was weak and went for it..thinking..well if i cant have his heart for now..I might as well leave happy ‘somewhere else’ ;-)..

But he never touched me since!!..How could the man pass up on a nice big round booty, big luscious boobs..like that. I looked great!. but felt rejected. he distanced himself..but later in the weekend made a few little moves to come closer to me (sit closer next to me, he smiled at me everytime our eyes met..a certain smile..the kind you get when someone likes you..or i am seeing ghosts or something..but it vibed differently)..but still..no kisses, carressing or whatever. Just him crawling up against my booty at night..(with nothing happening)..

what do you think happened there? Because i am confused as hell..

Justine

What do you mean “Didn’t succeed fully in kissing you?” haha Does that sound like a situation a guy would enjoy repeating? :D

In attempting to decipher your second paragraph, I take it to mean that you had sex with him but he didn’t kiss you. That’s not part of everybody’s repertoire. It’s not like in the movies, where everything progresses from holding hands to lightly kissing to making out to a trail of clothes on the floor leading to the bedroom… Some people kiss when they **** and some don’t.

Having said that, it doesn’t sound like he’s romantically interested in you. It seems like you’re going to have to decide whether you want to keep getting the same treatment from him or bounce and hook up with someone else.