Comments on: Unexpected Sex / Just The Way I Planned It

By: Bill Cammack

Bill Cammack — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 12:42:10 +0000

heh.. Nah, I wasn’t paraphrasing anybody. I was actually thinking about something that only recently occurred to me which is that a lot of women’s game comes down to demonstrations of control and power struggles. The only way they can prove to themselves that they have you ‘in pocket’ is to order you around and try to make you do stuff.

Meanwhile, dudes pretend to BE in pocket and do what women say so they can get laid. As soon as that’s not a motivating factor anymore, nothing gets done, the gal feels like the relationship broke down and exits. All jumping through hoops does for you is prolong the amount of time you get to hit it before she breaks North.

There are some times where it’s clear that she’s flexin’ just to try to chump you off to prove something to herself. Why should you take out the garbage while the game’s on? Why should you go to her grandmother’s house with her for dinner instead of out for drinks with your boys? There’s no reason at all, and “I don’t feel like it” is a perfect reason NOT to do it.

If a chick’s supposed to be down for you, she WANTS you to watch the game so YOU can be happy and then you feel all goodwillish and decide to make HER happy. She WANTS you to go out for drinks with your boys so you have a good time and decide to show her a good time later OR go do something you don’t care about but that she likes because she was cool enough to stay out of your business when you didn’t want her there.

That’s the whole problem. Power Struggles result in one person realizing they had less power than they thought. That’s not what a relationship’s about. It’s about building each other up, not tearing each other down when one person wants to do something the other one doesn’t agree with.

By: Gina

Gina — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 07:41:27 +0000

This is still going on? Ha. I’ll read everything later, way too lazy to now lol, but had this bookmarked before and now remembering it. Hope everyone is well.

By: steve

steve — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 04:29:35 +0000

Wow, I just mainlined this entire conversation. 47 comments!
I agree with C jay,and that means the dude’s got one eye on the exit sign for when the time is right. Coercion is for chumps and it’s the oldest tool women have. Well there’s the other thing so I guess it’s second oldest… to flip the script: I wish women would intellectualize there way out of that cave-womanish behavior and be fine with us when we’re around when we actually WANT to be! ;-)

I figure if you’ve got to whine, force, or blackmail someone into conjugal visits, displays of affection, giving you shelter, whatever, it’s just not a “good” relationship. Or at least one where both parties feel like they’ve made an active choice/exercised free will, whatever.

Earlier (comment number 3 billion?) Bill said, “If you’re supposed to be about me, like I’m supposed to be about you, you’re going to want ME to be happy and I’m going to want YOU to be happy” – I think Bill was paraphrasing Sting but I’m letting that slide because… this statement is so true, it’s TRUE. But alas, we’re also selfish creatures…

By: steve

steve — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 03:46:29 +0000

Huh? So the legitimate affection you may feel towards more than one should be low rated because it’s not what? A sufficient volume of affection display? Somebody better go tell all those long distance relationship folks that they’re just faking it. This isn’t to be confused with people who have poor bonding abilities and are questing for affection.

By: Bill Cammack

Bill Cammack — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 23:05:24 +0000

“I have a girlfriend” will get you laid for other reasons too. Women take other women’s word for stuff. The fact that one of them selected you as boyfriend material means that you ARE boyfriend material and they should try to pull you for themselves. Lots of women would rather go after a guy that’s already been verified than date actually single guys who nobody vouches for.

Also, if you have a girlfriend already, you’re considered “taken” or “spoken for” which means you’re not likely to catch feelin’s over tappin’ some other chick. She can get in and back out without incident. This works for chicks that are trying to avoid stalkers and dudes that try to treat chicks like property once they hit it one time.

“Taken” guys are also a challenge. What better way for a chick to demonstrate to herself that she’s unique and better than the next chick than to take (or at least borrow) her man?

Depending on the chick, claiming to have a girlfriend or a wife is the best thing you can do to get her to give you some.