Bill Cammack

I met this gal a couple of weeks ago who told me she could hear what other people think.

I don’t know enough about life to say that this is impossible, but I can say in her “defense” that *I* can feel what other people are feeling, which is one of the things that makes The Kid so effective with the ladies, heh heh :D so actually hearing things people aren’t saying isn’t so far off from detecting emotions from people that aren’t telling you how they’re feeling.

However, for the purpose of this article, let’s assume that’s an actual talent that your girlfriend had… HOW. MUCH. WOULD. THAT. *SUUUUUUUUCK*??? :D

Imagine That…

Fortunately, I didn’t have time to think about the concept WHILE I was talking to her. After the fact, I considered that when I talk to people, I give them edited versions of what I was thinking.. Edited to be more succinct or to make more sense.. Edited verbally, like changing the word “Chick” to “Woman” to get more points with the chick.. Deleted entirely…. But actually the worst part when I really thought about it was the time that SHE was talking and I appeared to be listening. O_o

I actually had a situation happen to me recently where I *WAS* listening AND paying attention, but it appeared like I wasn’t. :) My friend had been telling me about her relative and right after that story, I tell her something about myself, to which she replies: “Is *THAT* what you were thinking about while I was talking about my [relative]? :/” haha In fact, I had been paying full attention to her story but there was a background process running where I had been trying to remember some things I wanted to tell her but I had forgotten them. Right after the story, one of those came to me in a flash, and the speed with which I brought it up made it seem like I had been waiting for her to stop talking so I could talk about MYSELF! haha :D

But yeah, I was thinking about it after the fact when I met the “Hear what you’re thinking” chick woman and it would have been a complete disaster if she could have heard me thinking while she was talking. :D

Her: This is what I think about business…
Me: Damn, She’s cute! :D
Her: The town I grew up in was…
Me: Are her eyes grey or do they change depending on what she’s wearing? :D
Her: I just joined a gym…
Me: Damn!.. Six months in the gym, and I might be able to WORK with *THIS*!!! >:)
Her: I don’t eat meat
Me: A woman’s diet definitely affects the tas…… um y’all get the picture! :D

Meanwhile, I’m standing there nodding as usual, thinking I’m playing it off sweet and everything’s under the hat. :)

Verbal Transparency

This would CLEARLY be a disaster because you wouldn’t be able to craft her opinion of your opinion of her. If she says “Do I look fat in this dress?”, you would rather say “No, Honey.. You look fine” than “We might not even make it to the party, ’cause I’m tryin’na tap that right now!” or even worse, “Oh please GOD don’t let any of my homeboys come to this party so they can see how far I let my girl get out of shape! Please! Please!”.

It would also lead to shortened sexual experiences when she hears you thinking “Oh my.. What?… Who taught this girl how to.. DID *ANYBODY* teach this girl how to.. Oh my goodness.. What was that? A razor? :O.. MEDIC!!!”

I suppose this could be a good thing for the guys that are sincerely in love with their girlfriends. She could hear you saying “I love her so much! :)” and “I hope she’ll marry me someday” and “How did I ever get through life before I met her?” which would all be to your benefit. However, I can’t imagine that people are 100% transparent with what they say to their SOs and that they’d rather not have the stuff they don’t actually say attributed to them just because it’s a thought that ran through their minds.

I’ve attempted being verbally transparent with a couple of friends of mine and I personally find it to be ridiculous as well as useless, well, except for big laughs at my “expense” while I sound completely retarded because it’s something I never do. I would never TELL a woman what I thought of her. Thoughts inspire action and I do my talking with my hands. Verbally expressing how much I enjoy her positive outlook on life or how I think her hairstyle looks great or I love her ass just doesn’t move the relationship in any direction at all. I may as well have said “Pass the mustard”. I really may as well have said NOTHING and just done what I was gonna do from the giddyap.

Her: I’m ready to make love to you now
Me: Oh thank GOD!.. *FINALLY* I get to tap that azz!!! :D
Her: >:(
Me: *WHAT*??? :(

~ Bill Cammack | @BillCammack

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