Cutthroats (Too Much Confidence, Too Little Skill)

This dude tried to cut my throat tonight (rap to a girl I was obviously talking to). Little did he know, he was tryin’na pull a long-time homegirl of mine.

So I go to this wine bar, right? And people are relatively dressy. It’s not a pub, after all.. But I know why I’m there and I know who I’m there with so I don’t give a ****. I’ve got my t-shirt and jeans workin’ and I’m cold lampin’ with my homegirl…

So this dude sits next to us at the bar, right next to her, and I’m talking to her about something and he goes “I couldn’t help overhearing…” so I’m like HERE. WE. GO!!! 😀 .. Like I keep telling you chicks, dudes aren’t even going to talk to you unless they’re trying to get on, so now I’m monitoring this dude’s game.

He came dressed for the part.. Snazzy suit. Good-looking tie. Expensive-looking watch, similar to the one I bought in Chinatown for $60 that was a knockoff of a multiple-thousand-dollar watch. Acceptable haircut. Visually, dude was on point…… Well….. Except for one thing. He wasn’t visually my homegirl’s type. Due to the way his grill looked and his non-athletic physique, he was fighting an uphill battle, but it was funny to watch. 😀

My girl likes a guy with a certain type of look and a certain type of demeanor. Any other dudes she considers suckers and runs over them like a Mack Truck. The worst thing that can happen to you if you like to try to get raps on-the-fly is that the chick isn’t sweating you from the giddyap. Dude was farther than he imagined from getting some and I didn’t figure he had the skillz to overcome his shortcomings relative to what she was looking for. Even more pathetically, she was already tipsy by the time he arrived, which skewed the odds in his favor and I *STILL* wasn’t seeing it! 😀

So we accept this guy into the conversation, knowing full well what’s about to happen, and he starts throwing in his two cents and he’s a nice enough guy for sure, but he’s talking all this textbook yadda yadda. I’m like “wow… This guy’s never going to get on at this pace”. I’ll give him the credit that he attempted to disarm me by including me in the conversation instead of attempting to chat her up as if I hadn’t even been sitting there. I’ll also give him the credit for an aggressive plan of attack.

His demeanor was that he trumped me off the bat and that I wasn’t a threat to his rap. That was bold and admirable, yet incredibly stupid. First of all, if I’m sitting in a wine bar in a t-shirt chillin’ with a chick you’d like to bang, that means that I don’t need to dress up in a suit and put on fancy watches to pull chicks, which means I’m more dangerous than you are off the bat, so you need to recognize and respect. Second.. He selected his plan of attack visually. I know this because he failed to ask how we knew each other or even *IF* we knew each other before he decided he was better than me and could easily play me off like Keyboard Cat. That was dumb because he acted like I was an adversary when I wasn’t. It was also dumb because his insolence kicked me into “Show this chump the **** up” mode, even though I suppressed it in order to see whether he was able to get the rap or not.

So he chats us (read: her) up for a while, then he tries to dis me by not remembering my name, except he’s only dissing himself because I told him my name 5 minutes before. This indicates that he’s only interacting with me in order to attempt to neutralize me from cockblocking him with my girl. What he doesn’t realize is that a) I don’t give a **** if he knows my name or not, and b) I’m trying to HELP HIM get the rap because he was dead in the water before he even started talking and I’m fascinated by his feeble rap techniques and want to see if any of them work.

One thing that these suit-and-watch dudes don’t seem to realize is that there are so many guys playing the suit-and-watch style. They read in a magazine somewhere that they should dress like this and that to impress women and then they ALL ran out to the stores to dress up the same and approach gals with the exact same rap about how much money they make and what they own. That’s all well & good, assuming the chick didn’t meet a guy way the **** richer than YOU last night or even earlier this evening. O_o

Knowing my girl and seeing what type of game he was running, it was clear to me that even if he got some from her (not likely), he wouldn’t be in position for long and was going to land in the dead pool with the rest of her so-called “boyfriends” she’s had since I knew her.

Bill & MasamiSo he hands her some compliments, which is a good play, yet typical and ineffective. Eventually, I decide he needs more help so I make an excuse to put my coat on and stand out in the NYC cold. As much as I love my G1, it SUCKS as far as determining GPS location indoors. iPhones do a *much* better job with indoor GPS, or perhaps it’s the difference between the carriers. Meanwhile, my girl knows my style. If I get up and go somewhere, that means I’m giving dude space to operate. She and I had been communicating about him right under his nose the whole time, and I could tell he wasn’t making any headway.

So I throw on my coat and mumble something to her that’s deliberately loud enough for him to hear about going outside to get some GPS and dude makes a snide remark. This is how I know he fell for my technique. The fact that he was talking about the reason I *announced* I was going outside indicated that he had no idea that the REAL reason I was going outside was so that if there was anything he was scared or embarrassed to say with me sitting right there, this was his opportunity to kick it. I needed him to believe that because otherwise, he would have realized I was giving him room to operate, which would have affected his demeanor and my experiment would have been out the window.

Unfortunately for him, I naturally took offense at him trying to chump me on some geek-GPS ish, so before I walk out the door, I decide to show him a flick on my phone of The Kid surrounded by Jill & Flo. I expected him to grin & bear it, being that I was showing him TWO chicks that I know while leaving him sitting at the bar with a chick that he never would have met AT ALL if *I* hadn’t brought her there in the first place.

To my admitted surprise, dude looks at the picture of me with two chicks (which is nothing. I could have shown him a flick of me with SIX chicks) and snidely goes “OH!.. IMPRESSIVE! :/”. This was the nail in his coffin. This was when I knew he wasn’t getting laid tonight.. Not by the girl he was currently kickin’ it to at least. No telling if he ‘ordered out’ later on, haha. \o/ If your game is TIGHT, you’re not worried about the next man’s game.. ESPECIALLY with chicks that aren’t even in the room with you.

I was only showing him that picture to give him confidence that I wasn’t concerned with his rap and that he should try his damnedest to screw my homegirl. His nervous and defensive reaction to my showing him a picture of myself with only two chicks informed me that his game SUCKED and I could have stood outside until the cows came home and he would never have figured out how to lay my homegirl.

So, Eventually, I come back inside and the conversation’s COMPLETELY stalled out. Kaput. My girl starts telling me some gibberish I don’t feel like hearing about, so I drag dude back into the conversation. He comes back to life and starts talking to her some more. I think this is where my homegirl casually cursed a couple of times. 🙂

A lot of prissy dudes can’t handle it when chicks curse. They’re not “acting like ladies”. So my girl drops a couple of casual F-bombs like nothing and dude’s looking at her like “*GASP*! :O”. I see him wince because of her language and I’m like “This guy’s rap is OVER! :D”.

Eventually, dude had to leave so he closed with giving her his card. *YAWN*.. She passed me his card so I could put it in her bag, which was on the back of MY chair for safety purposes. I could have pocketed it or dropped it on the floor and his chances would have been ZERO because this wasn’t a bar we ever go to together and she didn’t give him ANY contact information. I put it in her bag anyway, dude walked out the door and then she and I laughed our asses off recounting the situation. I asked her if he had kicked anything good while I was outside, and of course, he hadn’t. I asked her if she was interested, which I already knew she wasn’t, but just wanted to hear her say it.

Cutting Throat is a high-level exercise. It’s not something you elect to do on the spur of the moment. If you’re gonna try it, you need to approach the situation with EXTREME CONFIDENCE that you’re gonna pull this chick right in front of the guy she’s already talking to. Any signs of weakness or insecurity and you’re gonna get laughed right off the stage. Here comes SandMan with the hook. SEEYA! 😀 Most guys have no idea how to pull chicks with ZERO competition, so trying it while she’s already talking to someone is ambitious at best.

It’s even worse when you underestimate your opponent. As soon as I saw this guy, I gave him the benefit of the doubt that he might be able to pull my girl with all his gimmicks. I would have been happy for him, happy for her and I would have learned something about the rap game. If my goal for the evening had been to get laid, I DAMN SURE wouldn’t have been sitting in a bar talking to some chick. He would never have seen her in the first place and wouldn’t have had a chance to throw his hat in the ring.

Bill & LizChoosing not to assess the situation isn’t a sign of confidence. It’s a sign of incompetence. You’re wasting your energy if you don’t know who the players are in the game and how they’re related to each other. There was no way for that guy to know that I’ve seen dozens of guys kick it to her and strike out that were WAY more qualified than he was. There was no way for him to know that I was monitoring his weak game from before he even crashed our conversation. I saw him checking her out and scheming on talking to her. I know damned well she didn’t say anything intelligent after he sat down, so he was clearly kickin’ it to her strictly because he liked her T&A. We both saw him coming like an encyclopedia salesman and welcomed him into our conversation to make his pitch so we could have our evening’s recreation and I could get a blog post out of it.

What SHOULD he have done? He should have chilled and laid back in the cut. His aggressive attempts at hooking up with her are what put him on the radar. He should have been a regular patron, maybe asked her if she had a favorite wine on the list and gauged what her reaction was to him. Instead… He probably assumed that since he had walked into this spot alone and sat down next to a chick that I did the exact same thing. He probably assumed that I was in the process of meeting this chick for the first time in life just like he was trying to do. He probably assumed that he was kickin’ some kind of unique game that neither one of us had ever seen before and that his dressing up gimmick was going to get him laid.

Too much confidence + Too little skill = Too few girls. BELEEDAT!!! 😀

~ Bill Cammack | @BillCammack

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  1. From my experince cutting throats never makes you look good, even if your successful. If i was in this situation what i would have done was just defer the rap which is basically get the girls contact info so you can kick it to her later at a more appropriate time.

    1. That’s what I meant by “Choosing to assess the situation”. The courteous conversation-crasher would have asked some form of “How do you two know each other?”. Not attempting to figure that out means that you’re going to do whatever you want, regardless. He would have kicked it to her if I had just met her today and he would have kicked it to her if she had been my girlfriend for 5 years already. That’s what almost kicked me into gear and that’s why I showed him that picture on the way out. My naturally competitive nature goes “Oh.. He thinks he’s NICE?” and then I start thinking adversarially, which spells T.R.O.U.B.L.E. for the next man’s rap. 😀

      Part of the trick here is that I deliberately dress “down”.. First of all because I enjoy how I feel in jeans, t-shirts, hoodies, etc, and how you feel is a MAJOR component to your self-confidence, similar to playing basketball in wingtips vs. sneakers. Going to the gym in slacks instead of sweats. It’s gonna throw your game off physically, but more importantly, mentally. Because I do this, if I go to a place that’s above the dress code level of a frat-boy bar, local, dive, or just a regular spot where people show up however they’re dressed, guys who play the suit & watch style assume I’m trying to do the same thing and failing. They think they have an edge over me because what they’re wearing costs at least 10 times what I’m wearing.

      People like that can’t fathom pulling chicks by personality. For them, the entire competition is looking rich and appearing ambitious & successful. Dude had the clothes on but didn’t have the mentality. For instance, even though he crashed our conversation and we invited him in, he never bought us a round. O_o I’ve had dudes pick up entire tabs for myself and chicks I was hanging out with in bars. ‘Matter of fact, I’ve had dudes we’ve never seen before pick up the tab, get a cab for all of us to another spot and pick up the tab THERE as well. Dude was playing the style but he didn’t know how far down in the minor leagues he was compared to what we’ve already seen. He looked the part, but wasn’t impressive in the least when it came to his technique, tact, and ability to keep his cool when I showed him ONE picture of myself with some chicks.

      As far as the contact info, he wasn’t going to get it because there was nothing appealing about him other than his ability/willingness to spend money, which he demonstrated wasn’t much. There was nothing separating him from being compared to heirs & yacht owners. It’s kind of like how chicks try to act like hooking up with them is something special when all they’re bringing to the table is sex. Did you notice that the next gal has the same natural equipment? 😀 The next one too and your sister and your mother? This is the mistake a lot of women in “relationships” make when they get mad and start a sex embargo and think their man isn’t gonna just go get it somewhere else.

      So dude wasn’t sexy to her, didn’t have the look OR the physique, was playing the “I make money” game, tossing himself in the same arena with dudes whose MONEY makes money while they cold lamp and do whatever the hell they want every day… There was no reason for her to a) give him her number, or b) call the number on his card. C’est La Vie. 🙂

      But yeah.. In general, it’s good style to ALWAYS defer to the situation you’re walking into as if the other guy’s kickin’ it to the chick until you find out otherwise. If the chick’s feelin’ you, she’ll find a way to give you her information or accept yours on the sneaks. Just like you said.. Save the actual rap until the appropriate time becomes evident.

      1. exactly my point in other words in order to kick a successful rap you have to paint to simultaneous pictures one of your self and one of the other guy so even if the other guy does nothing at all (like you did) your still at a major disadvantage especially if you are the second guy to come in. i can say one thing though it can be a lot of fun if its competition between you and your homeboy ive done it plenty of times for fun its quite a challenge trying to become and ambidextrous Picasso but if you pull it off its a great feeling.

        1. Absolutely. He put himself at a major disadvantage by not assessing the situation or at least TRYING to get some information about what was going on before he arrived.

          For instance.. What if I had been a coworker of hers and he would have rolled in and kicked game to her?.. She wouldn’t have been able to accept his rap without looking like a ho or at least being gossiped about as such back at our office… ESPECIALLY if she had been my superior at work.

          What if I had been a guy that just met her and took offense to him interrupting me? What if I had been a friend of her current boyfriend and she didn’t want to get busted and he gave her his card all out in the open like that? He had no idea what he should have been doing because he had no idea what was going on at all. 🙂

          As far as competition, damn skippy that’s fun! 😀 That’s a different story, though. Until you actually get the rap, all bets are off. I learned that the hard way after putting in minutes and minutes worth of raps to a chick, only to have some dude she liked show up and then I’m over before I even got started! 😀

          Actually, not only is it FUN, but it’s FUNNY! 😀 Your boy shows up and you’re like look. at. this. bastard. trying. to. cut. throat! 😀 and then you have to amp your game up, isolate her, get rid of him or shut his game down by making sure she hears you telling him something like “Oh.. Yo.. Your wife texted me and wanted me to tell you to stop at the store for bread on the way home!” >:)

  2. oh bill, I will never, ever understand your crazy world 🙂

    most of my first dates happened at bookstores! (tons of conversation material floating around, it’s like- TOO easy)

  3. Sounds like this guy forgot one of the rules.

    If you step to Bill C. Bring your B game…

    Cause if you had your A game, you’d know not to be steppin to Bill C in the first place! HOLLA!

    This guy sounds like he was in the C/C- Range.

    1. Yeah man haha I don’t mean to make him seem like he knew what he was doing at all or had any decent game whatsoever. 🙂 I’m just saying that it was really funny how he tried all these lame techniques.

      I love sitting there watching / listening to dudes trying whatever they can to get on. So much fun! 😀 haha They’d really be better off saving their time and energy and telling her she looks good and judging her reaction to their compliment. It’s just great watching them run around all over creation when they could have just taken the straight line from “A” to “B”. 🙂

  4. You know what… This skill level of his may very well be his (for now) best available. Sometimes you have to jump up in weight class to truly put a rating on your game. You get a hood rat chasing type of guy and throw him an after “work” type environment and he will probably strike out. Get a guy who is used to chasing a particular type (Admin assist to the CEO as opposed to a general secy)and he may not know ho to take it down a notch. His immediate comfort zone is his minor leagues. Until he branches out into other territory he will never fully understand what bringing his A-game to the majors is all about. This guy you described, sounds like the big man on campus. The star athlete. Well schools out and he is just one of the many skilled individuals out there. He stepped up in weight. Will he learn or will he retreat to his comfort zone?? Who knows BUT you should have have taken his card, written “” on the back and said “just in case you are looking for an agent” and zoned him out of the convo!! 🙂

    1. HAHAHAHAHA Oh man! That would have been CLASSIC!!! 😀 HAHAHAHA

      Yeah, you have really good points there, Frank. I can clearly see his style working on a certain type of female, except he was talking to a *different* type of female. She already makes her own money. She already has her own apartment. She already has guys kickin’ it to her. She’s already seen his ‘kind’ so many times that he was clearly a diluted version of the real thing. As a matter of fact, when he first started talking to us, he announced he was in X profession. After about 10 minutes, he took a call or ordered something from the bartender and she turns to me and says “He said he’s an X, but I really think he’s a Y”. Of course, it turned out that he WAS a Y. Unfortunately, he was talking to a chick that saw him coming.

      I’ve been lucky to gain experience with a wide range of females. I can hang with rich chicks, bum chicks, burger-flipping chicks, dumb chicks, intelligent chicks, overweight chicks, emaciated chicks, religious chicks… I really can’t think of a category that I’m not comfortable with. That definitely makes me project that comfort onto other guys and think that they just played the wrong style when they may very well only have ONE style to work with.

      Unfortunately, he’ll never get better. Guys like that keep it up with their one style until they catch something… not meaning a disease, meaning a chick. They feel like their style is viable and it’s just an issue of pot luck whether the chick goes for it or not. Meanwhile, they could have played things completely differently and received different results.

      Here’s what he SHOULD have done… My girl is planning to buy something soon as far as real estate. There’s no way he would have known this, but he should have asked her enough about herself to figure this out. He should have then told her that he was TIGHT with brokers that often have really good listings. *THIS* would have gotten her to call him for her own selfish interests of buying an apartment/house. He could have dangled that carrot in front of her face and parlayed that into a dinner meetup or two and seen where he could have gone from there. There was no way he was going to get the rap off of his looks and personality, so he should have figured out something she wanted and Acted As If he could hook her up with that.

      He also should have figured out who I was to her. Once he knew I had no interest in shutting his game down, he could have acted friendly towards me instead of being standoffish and dismissive… but yeah, I see what you mean. I’m sure he didn’t sit down at the bar thinking tactically. I’m sure he was like “What luck! I’m sitting next to a cute chick. Let me see what I can do”.

      I need to make “Dating Coach” cards and hand them out to these chumps that I see fumbling raps left and right. 😀

  5. LMAO!
    This is truly funny stuff and the comments are great! You could’ve titled it, When Bricks Try To Fly. C’mon man, you know how I like the tactical!
    Yes, yes, yes, assess the situation. Even forgetting about how he was trying to play you off as a beta male (Bill C., puh-leaze!), the dude plops himself down next to a chick and her invisible man, jumps right in the game like a damn gun went off, and has no clue from the get go whether she has any interest in him at all but thinks he can “build interest”? You’re right, he needed some kind of carrot or better still some skill at getting people to laugh, including you. And some patience! Suit and a Patek-Philipe? That’s it? Sounds like some after work Financial District or Midtown dime-a-dozen banker crap that probably doesn’t even play well there because all the chick already know he’s a jerk. Frank’s right, dude doesn’t know he’s a minor leaguer. Maybe he should focus on German tourists.

    1. Unfortunately, target selection is another major FAILURE that dudes fall prey to every day. I need to write about that now that you mention it.

      There are the girls that you WANT and the girls that YOU CAN GET. Hopefully, there’s an overlap so that you can actually GET some of the girls you WANT. Too many guys bash their heads against the walls of girls they can’t get because they’re blinded by the fact that they WANT them.

      There are girls that won’t kick it to me because I’m not tall enough or I don’t dress the way they like or I’m not rich enough or I don’t own a car or they think they know something about me from reading what I post on the internet or a million other reasons. I couldn’t possibly care any less. 😀 Makes no difference whatsoever, because there are lots of OTHER chicks who like me as-is.

      There’s this chick that I see every once in a while that I would invite out for drinks, except every time I see her, she looks at me like I’m about to attack her hahaha 😀 .. COULD I get around that? Of course. Is it worth the time and effort? Probably not, because she doesn’t know anything about me to be looking at me like that so she’s probably operating off of BAGGAGE that she’s accumulated over the years that I don’t want to have anything to do with.

      If a chick can’t be pleasant when you tell her “good morning”, she’s probably not worth a damn anyway.

      One of the best things guys can do for themselves is be realistic about the kinds of girls they can pull so they don’t waste time on the chicks that are “out of their league” and maximize their time ‘doing the business’.

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