Wherever you are is a location. That location has several features. It will also have a static or changing amount of women in it.
If you’re not aware of your surroundings, you’re going to waste a lot of energy kickin’ it to chicks that aren’t interested or aren’t available. You’re also going to waste a lot of time that would be better spent finding a new spot to hunt in.
Maybe you like going to a lounge because there are a lot of girls there. Where are they, really? They’re sitting on couches and they never get up. The waitress brings them their drinks and they sit there the whole time commiserating with each other and never getting up to mingle and meet guys. The numbers are there, but not the opportunity. Maybe you’d be better off in a dive bar that doesn’t HAVE any booths where the chicks have to be standing around with the general population so you can make your way over and see what you can do.
Maybe you’re in a restaurant with a bar and you and your boys have foolishly accepted a table FAR AWAY from the flow of chicks. Now, if you see something you like, you have to get up and obviously walk over as the chick and her friends LITERALLY see you coming. :/ Maybe you should have all sat at the bar and ordered food there so you could be in the mix when the gals arrived.
Maybe you went to a spot where you’re not the type of guy that’s in demand there. Save yourself the trouble and find somewhere that women go to look for someone “of your type”. Unfortunately, even if a chick wants to talk to you, she might skip it so that she doesn’t look out of sync with the regulars.
Maybe you went to a spot where mostly guys go (like a cigar bar) and there’s some horrible ratio like one chick for every nine guys. Go find a spot that has music or food or karaoke or something that chicks like to do and put yourself automatically in the minority instead of the majority.
I started thinking about this because I normally make my own plans. Except for in rare cases, my plans always involve at least one female that I’m bringing with me. I made a plan to hang out with the fellaz the other day, so I had the rare experience of not being able to regulate where I was and how long I was there.
That didn’t matter at first, because my main point was catching up with my friends and having a bunch of laughs, haha which we most certainly DID!!! 😀 Eventually, since we were making so much noise, as usual, I became aware that chicks were checkin’ us out, not necessarily because they wanted to rap to us, it’s just that we had their attention.
At that time, we happened to be in PERFECT position for that particular establishment. We had our drinks. We had Real Estate (table, chairs). We were standing right along the flow where the chicks had to exit & enter the place. We were right near the bar for refills as well as a reason for chicks to have to place themselves near us. We couldn’t have picked a better spot for the way that place was laid out.
The only potential issue was that the lighting was relatively bright, which is good for long-distance game, since the chicks can see you from across the room, but it’s bad because chicks are aware that if they’re rapping to you, EEEEEVERYBODY’S going to see it, so they’re less likely to come over than if the lights had been dim.
Another ‘problem’ was that there was a certain type of chick that was going to show up there. That’s fantastic if that’s what you’re into and horrible if they’re not your type. I already knew this when we made the plan to meet up there and I wasn’t worried about it since I was going entirely to catch up with my homeboys. I’m just mentioning it for general tactical considerations. Like, if you don’t want to meet rich, old chicks don’t hang out at the bar in the Waldorf Astoria. If you don’t want to meet women with jobs, don’t hang out for happy hour in the financial district.
The next thing that happened was what really prompted me to write this. Being that we already had position, the best tactical move (had the plan of the evening been to hang out with chicks, which it wasn’t) would have been to move to a BETTER location or stay where we were. Unfortunately, we had reason to move from where we were to a place where I knew there were going to be WAY fewer chicks, a much, much worse ratio and very expensive drinks if there were drinks at all.
The first two are obvious problems. You don’t want the drinks to be expensive because chicks don’t like to spend money on drinks. They like $6 drinks and $600 boots. Go figure. \o/
If the drinks are expensive, the chicks are going to be nursing them so they can save their money for Manolo Blahniks. This means that they won’t already be drunk by the time you show up. This is always a drag and a waste of time. 😀 You’re way better off in a dive bar with cheap alcohol or a spot that’s having some kind of 2-for-1 deal or ladies’ night specials or something.
So we motivate to the next spot and just like I thought, it’s *DEAD*. Something like an 11-1 ratio, I may or may not have seen two people with a drink in their hands. Horrific. I immediately hopped on my location-based apps & sites to see where I could jump off to in case I wanted to attempt to salvage the evening. Fortunately, our stay in this location was unexpectedly short due to technical difficulties experienced by the person whose fault it was we went to that place to begin with. If they would have stayed there, I would have left because the sheer boredom of lack of targets was putting me to sleep. I would rather have been on the subway than in that dead-ass spot. 🙂
The next place we went to was decent as far as population but horrible as far as access. The bar was small and there was no mingle area defined near it. You were either sitting at the bar or you weren’t involved with the bar area. Everyone else was sitting at restaurant tables, completely isolated from each other. Tactical Snafu. The bathroom was in the other direction from the bar, so we couldn’t even benefit from that flow. At least everyone had drinks available, so that was better, the numbers were better, the ratio was better and the opportunity was infinitely better.
Actually, now that I think about it, sound is really important as well. If you go to a place where the music’s too loud, you won’t be able to comfortably talk to a chick. Same thing if the crowd noise is too loud. OTOH, if you’re going to be loud with your boys, you don’t want to go to a spot that’s too quiet or you’ll look out of place instead of energetic & interesting.
You definitely want a decent amount of flow. You don’t want to go to a place where chicks show up and just stay and stay and stay and stay and stay. You want them to LEAVE so more chicks can take their place and you never have to leave your Real Estate but you get to throw your hat in the ring lots of times. At the same time, you don’t want to be in a spot where there’s nothing BUT flow, like near the front door for instance as you try to kick it to chicks entering and exiting.
Don’t be greedy. Sometimes, it’s better not to get the best chick in a group. If she’s sweating your boy, it might be better for you to facilitate HIS rap so you have access to all the rest of her friends while they wait for her to finish kickin’ it. Also, there’s usually a leader of each pack. If you can determine which one that is (she’s the most charismatic or she’s the one driving, etc), you can corral the entire herd just by bagging the lead chick. Don’t be selfish, keep your boys’ interests in mind while you’re trying to meet chicks and they’ll appreciate it and return the favor when they can.
Having said that.. You also need to recognize that there’s a limit to what you can do and/or SHOULD DO for your boys, haha. 🙂 You don’t want to ruin your own cred with the chicks by over-hyping dudes past their actual potential. If you know your boy’s a player and you tell a chick he’s interested in a relationship so he can get some, it’s gonna be YOU that takes the short when she’s disappointed, not HIM! He’s doing what he always does. You’re putting your own rep in jeopardy by cosigning his behavior. When that chick has a homegirl YOU want to meet, you’re SHORT! 😀
Recognize when to bail. I started chatting up this chick one time ’cause she was cute and had a decent body and once I got into conversation with her I realized I wasn’t going to be able to sustain a level of conversation that she felt was cultured and I felt was boring as hell. A couple of jokes about her profession and she ejected herself and I was once again free to get back on track with talking to other chicks. If she’s going to be a waste of your time, bail. Similarly, if you feel like YOU’RE going to be a waste of HER time, bail.
Close Early. If a chick seems to be diggin’ you, the longer you take to get her contact information the more time you’re giving her crabby, no-rap-getting homegirls to cockblock you. By the time they show up with some bogus excuse to pull her away from you, it’s too late to try to close with this other chick all in your business. Remember, you’re there to MEET chicks, not date them on the spot. Let her know how great you are, exchange information, step to the left.
Plan To Fail
Some of my homegirls are more reliable than others. When I make a plan with them the plan is made and I don’t have to worry about them not showing up or being egregiously late. With other chicks, there’s a good percentage chance that they’re going to flake out so I make sure to invite several chicks to the same event, just in case. 🙂
Similarly, the place you planned to go might have looked great on paper, but it’s wack when you actually get there. I usually have a Plan B and a Plan C in place before I go out so that if I determine that the current spot isn’t going to cut it, I can quickly switch venues with minimal effort, time spent and smartphone battery wasted. 😀
Another benefit of planning to fail is that you’re not nervous about your Plan A falling through because you know your night isn’t ruined, regardless. A lot of guys get caught up in trying to force their Plan A to work because it’s all they have for tonight. Regardless of how bleak the prospects are, they never just MOVE to the next bar down the street or hop in a cab to an entirely different area. Then, when *ONE* new chick shows up, you see every guy in the spot swoop down and try to get on….
Prospects are bad? Move. Horrible ratio? Move. No opportunity to chat chicks up? Move. Chicks aren’t your type? Move. You aren’t these particular chicks’ type? Move. A chick you kicked it to previously is here messing up your raps? Move. Target Assessment is absolutely critical if you’d like to spend your time talking to women instead of wondering why you’re not.