Sex Addiction Therapy & Rehab?

First things First… There are Sex Addicts and there are guys that like to ****.

Sex Rehab?There are guys that like to **** several chicks consecutively or simultaneously.

There are guys that would **** all day if they could.

There are guys that would **** on a box, near a fox, or while eating Green Eggs & Ham and NOT *ONE* of these guys are ADDICTS. O_o

Somehow.. It’s become trendy that when dudes get busted doing what they like to do, they can now rely on this little automatic backup parachute that’s triggered after your main parachute fails you while you’re plummeting towards the Earth while skydiving, which is called SEX REHAB!!! πŸ˜€

The Problem

Back in the day, chicks were just SOL when their man got busted cheating. \o/ If it was a politician, the chick did the Perp Walk with him to the podium and stood there like a small child that didn’t understand English while her husband admitted to The Entire World that even though he’s married to this chick next to him, he likes to “Get In where he Fit In”.

Meanwhile, dude’s pockets were SOL when she did the Eddie Murphy on him and shuffled off to Buffalo with HALF!!! πŸ˜€ haha That was the arrangement. Do what you can until you get busted and then you lose your main chick, probably your kids and definitely your money.

The Solution

At some point, some genius figured out that there was a way to keep the chick, kids & cash. They changed the response for “How come you did XYZ with that chick?” from “I felt like it” or “That’s what I do” or “She was there” to “I’m addicted to women?.. and I need… HELP?”

Since women like to believe these things and eat excuses up like lemon meringue pie, this became a viable plea bargain. It’s like how Robert Downey Jr. (and I’m a fan of his and have enjoyed his work from Less Than Zero all the way to Sherlock Holmes, but) got busted like a million billion gazillion times for drugs, would be looking HIGH AS A **** INSIDE THE COURTROOM and somehow would keep coming out of jail. πŸ˜€

Telling a woman “You. Know. What?….. I. JUST. REALIZED. That. I’m. Sick! :O” is your key to success with the RDJ get-out-of-this-situation-somehow plan.

Sex Addiction Rehabilitation

The thing is… I wonder what coming out the other side looks like to the “addict”. O_o

I mean… What are they going to do or say that’s going to convince a dude that he doesn’t feel like doing what he feels like doing? Do they hypnotize dudes? Do they hold up a picture and go “You are getting sleeeeepy… This is your wifeeeee… You ONLY feel like having sex with HERRRRRR… When I count backwards from 10, you will wake up refreshed and forget this conversation”?

Do they lock you in a room with images of the Monopoly dude with his pockets turned inside-out because he’s broke from the divorce? Do they make you watch an infinite loop of the video of you standing there in the church swearing on a stack of bibles that you’re going to be faithful to your wife?

It seems to me that a guy has common sense or he doesn’t. He knows what he’s doing or he doesn’t. He intends to be faithful to his wife or he doesn’t. I don’t see what they’re going to tell him in sex rehab that’s going to make him go “OH SNAP!!! I’VE BEEN BUGGIN’!!! :O”

Another thing I find laughable about this situation is that when an unmarried guy gets tossed in sex rehab it’s because he’s an actual addict.. I mean he can’t even function or hold a job or make money and all he wants to do is hang out with his porno collection or whatever. Meanwhile, when a MARRIED guy gets tossed in sex rehab, he was a perfectly functioning member of society that was getting laid without his wife being involved.

It’s like a discount.. It’s like you have to be WAY LESS OF AN ADDICT to qualify for sex rehab if you’re married. It’s like how if you’re a “normal” kid and you punch somebody in the face, you’re a troublemaker.. but then.. If you’re smart enough to run around the classroom like you’re crazy before you hit that kid, you’re just ADD and they need to give you drugs to calm you down.

Throwing Desks

I have to take a personal moment here. One of the funniest things I ever saw in my life was in fifth grade, when my homeboy Kenny threw a desk at our teacher! πŸ˜€ hahaha WOW! I was impressed! πŸ˜€ I’m STILL impressed. As much as I used to trip out and create havoc in elementary school, I never did anything that made the teachers think I was actually certifiable.

I mean I couldn’t have even THOUGHT UP the idea of throwing a desk at a teacher.. it was utterly brilliant and I knew I was witnessing mental greatness. I knew in that very second that I would NEVER in my elementary school career be able to do anything that was ever going to top that as far as “crazy”.

It’s beside the point that my hide would have been TANNED if I would have done something so stupid and disrespectful. πŸ™‚ I’m impressed because it never occurred to me even as a thought that I wouldn’t actually carry out because of the pending consequences. It was out of the blue, he threw the desk out of sheer passion, he scared the **** out of our teacher, I laughed my ass off and I haven’t forgotten that moment (I must have been 11 years old at the time) to this very day. πŸ˜€ It was the greatest, purest expression of anger, frustration and aggression in the face of authority that I had ever seen in my entire life, and it was beautiful. πŸ˜€

Anyway… If you would have put my resume of mischievous pranks up against Kenny’s resume of outbursts, he would have been seen as “Needing mental help” and I would have been seen as “Likes to be a jerk towards people he doesn’t like”. My actions would have been seen as deliberate, so throwing me in some kind of rehab (which didn’t exist at the time) or diagnosing me as ADD (which didn’t exist at the time) wouldn’t have been seen as a way to right the wrongs I was consistently doing to people.

Similarly.. I don’t see how a grown-ass-man who’s a perfectly functioning member of society except he likes to get laid behind his wife’s back qualifies for some kind of mental health program to “straighten him out”. Straighten WHAT out? \o/

Porno Addiction?

What’s even worse is when dudes aren’t even cheating on their wives, but they get committed for being addicted to porno. I find that completely amazing, personally. πŸ™‚ Dude isn’t going to strip clubs. He’s not hooking up with other women. He’s not planning to leave you. All he’s trying to do is enjoy himself and his woman’s like “NAH! NAH! There’s something WRONG with you!” πŸ˜€

Is he going to work? Is he bringing home the bacon? Is there a roof over your head and clothes on your back? Does he play with your kid? Then leave him the **** alone and let him get his recreation on…. but NOOOOOOOOOO.

What if his wife is busted? O_o

What if he still loves her and cares about her and wants to be with her but isn’t turned on AT ALL by the thought or action of having sex with her? Sure, he might hook up with her for HER satisfaction, but what about HIM? πŸ˜€ He’s just supposed to be miserable because that’s the way the cookie crumbled?

A gal might also try to throw her guy in sex rehab when she’s not even hannlin’ her own bidnezz in the bedroom! It’s supposed to be some kind of breach of contract that he found a satisfying way to circumnavigate her sex embargo, haha too bad, so sad. Don’t cry for Argentina.

Collateral Damage / Innocent Bystanders

We do what we want here...On top of all that.. These damned “Send me to sex rehab because there’s something wrong with me because I like to **** women” guys are making it worse for the rest of us.

I was hanging out at a party, minding my own business, watching the chicks dance.. and this friend of mine walks over and tells me how she feels that it’s creepy that I’m layin’ up in the cut, watching.. And then goes so far as to describe to me what she thinks I’m going to do after I finish checkin’ out the action! πŸ˜€

Now… Regardless of what I *was* actually gonna do after checkin’ out the action :P~~~ and regardless of the fact that I know that particular girl is a FREAK-BODY herself, which is why SHE was coming up with what *I* might have been thinking about IN HER OWN MIND… The reason that happened to me is that she’s been conditioned along with the rest of society to believe that guys that are inspired to **** chicks are automatically ‘Pervs’ or some sort of deviants.

You see this brainwashing all the time when these *****-ass dudes apologize to girls for saying they think they’re hot/sexy/attractive. What’s the matter with you? :/ Grow a pair and OWN the fact that a chick turns you on. Damn. Why are you crawling around sniveling on the floor? What the hell is she gonna do.. NOT give you some? Jeez. :/

Meanwhile, it’s cool when my friend that approached me and her girlfriends grind on each other on the dance floor and kiss each other and generally show love towards each other while *ALL* their boyfriends hang out together in some other room and ignore the girls completely, because that’s what society has sold them as “normal”, and then The Kid‘s supposed to be the abnormal one ’cause I’m in the place to be, where the action’s going down! hahahaha GEEEEEEEEET THE **** OUTTA HERE!!! πŸ˜€

Men Are Victims! :/

This is all the fault of these “Help me, I’m sick” dudes trying to shirk responsibility by trying to make doing what they wanted to do and what they CHOSE and DECIDED to do appear as a mental disorder.

We all know how overbearing and relentless waitresses often are.. not taking “no” for an answer and insisting that we hook up with them out in the parking lot when their shift is over. Several waitresses, mind you.. In several different restaurants in several different cities in several different countries.

We all know how demanding interns and production assistants are.. Making us get THEM coffee and taking two-hour lunch breaks and insisting that we tap that in the company van on the way back from a shoot or in our office while we’re on speakerphone talking business with someone.

THIS. IS. RIDICULOUS! πŸ˜€ Did you notice how the side-chicks are never power-brokers? It’s always some chick like eight levels down or if she looks like anything at all, she’s a hooker or porno chick that these dudes actually PAID to have sex with?

How do you justify that? It’s not like you can say “Damn Sunnnn… I don’t know what happened… She cold OUTSMARTED ME into hooking up with her! :(” haha “I kept telling her ‘Cut that out.. My wife does that perfectly fine for me!’ but she kept on going!!! :(”

No. It’s always some dude that mentally, physically and intellectually trumps the chick he gets caught with and then he tries to get over by playing the DSM-IV card.

Disorders vs. Excuses

The dudes that need help, get them help. I’m sure a dude could ACTUALLY become addicted to sex or gambling or video games or drugs or alcohol or dancing in the subway trying to earn money. Help those dudes return to being functional members of society and living productive lives if they feel like their lives aren’t already productive.

These dudes that got married and then got busted screwing the next chick? \o/

Maybe he was sleepwalking. Was he wearing pajamas when you caught him? If so, give him a pass. Other than that, recognize the situation for what it is.

Personally, I’m tired of carrying these people. πŸ™‚ I’m tired of being vilified because these dudes get busted and then refuse to admit they just plain COULDN’T or WOULDN’T keep their word to their woman. Just fess up and stop trying to make regular behavior a sickness for your own selfish “Get Out Of Jail, Free” reasons.

If this keeps up, I’m gonna write up a new disorder. There are lots of women that I’d like to have committed *TODAY* and throw their asses in SHOE REHAB!

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18 thoughts on “Sex Addiction Therapy & Rehab?”

  1. ******* BRILLIANT! I just caught the news of Mr. Woods getting OUT of rehab. I remember months ago some morning news team was speculating about whether he was a sex addict. I remember thinking how ludicrous that sounded! Guess his publicist got out in front with it and built some public momentum towards acceptance of a non-fact.
    “I’m a sex addict [pout, pout, pout]” – Man get the **** outta here before I slap you for being the over-endorsed little b*tch that you are. What’s that? If you get divorced you only get to keep half of a jillion dollars!?!?! You can fit my sympathy on the head of a pin. It’s just life, get divorced and move on.

    BTW – now they’re saying he “cheated” while he was in the penalty box er, I mean rehab. Guess it’s back to the penalty box again until he gets tired of making his future ex-wife look stupid. I realize I’m projecting a little here but I would be hard pressed to believe that he and his wife weren’t having marital issues from the jump. There he is, used to ******* around all the time and now he’s got this blazingly hot chick that he would like to have satisfy ALL of his needs talking to him about the minute by minute minutia of life and killing his buzz! That’s like somebody putting dog pee in your Guinness after you take the first sip. Hey, this used to be good! What happened!? Then they have kids… ’cause that’s really gonna fix what’s wrong? Nope, no sympathy from me.

    Bill, it’s just like you’re saying, this whole rehab thing is just a public relations gambit and it’s making normal men look abnormal. In short, It’s a woman’s dream come true. Dude’s going to go to rehab and they’re going to cure him of his “caveman tendencies”. Conversly, touching on an offline discussion, the acceptance by women of these girlfriend like, skinny jean wearing, hipsters is making abnormal men look normal!

    Rock==>\o/<==Hard Place

    Who says women dont rule the world? Or maybe this is a Brave New World game?

    From now on man, I'm just cooking chicks dinner then looking at them hopefully through my trendy nerd glasses while nervously fingering my Yukon Cornelius beard with one hand and flashing my rehab certificate with the other while behind me my Alpha Male card is running through the shredder.

    1. Thanks, man. πŸ™‚

      I wouldn’t be surprised if he “ordered out” while he was in Sex Club Fed hahaha πŸ˜€

      I obviously don’t know Tiger at all, but I wouldn’t even assume that “marital issues” are the base layer of this situation. You’re right that the mundane aspects of listening to women talk about nothing and basically waste your time and stop you from concentrating on important ish can be an incredible DOWNER. That’s why a lot of guys don’t get involved in relationships at all or bail when it gets past the fun part, which is the only reason they were involved with the chick in the first place.

      On a side note, that’s one of the reasons I love watching shows like “Teen Mom”. The guy’s there obviously depressed over the situation and obviously wishing he wouldn’t have ****** UP and gotten his girl pregnant when all he wanted to do was have sex… but, he. just. won’t. SAY it! πŸ˜€ The truth of the matter is that his goal in life wasn’t to get some chick pregnant and then spend time hanging out with a baby instead of partying with his homeboys and screwing new chicks.

      Anyway, I think the main thing is that Tiger was pulling chicks BEFORE he got married and just never stopped. \o/ haha It’s not rocket science. It’s CERTAINLY not addiction. It’s the reason why guys bother to get rich in the first place.. so they can enjoy their ******* lives. Chicks are a part of enjoying life. I don’t know why people are so dense that they don’t understand that.

      1. “Anyway, I think the main thing is that Tiger was pulling chicks BEFORE he got married and just never stopped. \o/ haha It’s not rocket science. It’s CERTAINLY not addiction. It’s the reason why guys bother to get rich in the first place.. so they can enjoy their ******* lives. Chicks are a part of enjoying life. I don’t know why people are so dense that they don’t understand that.”

        I do understand that, Bill.
        The part that I don’t understand is:
        Why did he get married?

        1. I don’t know the guy at all, so here’s my opinion.. Well, first of all, let me say I agree with you entirely and didn’t see any reason for Tiger to get married AND I was surprised when I heard about it and the only difference it made to me is that pictures of his wife-to-be were circulated around the internet and made their way to me. Other than that, I probably wouldn’t have even KNOWN that he was married at all.

          My uneducated guess is that he spent his whole life learning how to play golf and none of it learning how to mess with chicks/women. What happens in those cases is you only know what people told you. You think that the only way you can have kids is if you get married. So that’s one reason I can think of.. He might have wanted to have kids and decided that locking down this Nanny was going to be his best shot at having the kind of kids he wanted to have.

          A theory other people have is that he did it for the endorsements. Similar to politicians, you get more stuff if you’re a “family man”. It’s easier to sell you to other married people that buy shaving razors, etc if you can say “Look at our spokesperson! πŸ˜€ He has a family just like you!”, so he might have gotten married because the extra endorsement money was worth it.

          He also might have gotten married because he loves his wife. One of the major disconnects women have is the concept of a guy loving one girl and ******* other girls. Just because you have sex with someone doesn’t mean you like their personality or care if they jump off a bridge. It’s something to do. Desire Fulfillment. Guys don’t desire just one chick.

          You should take a poll of the guys you know and ask them if *ANY* of them only watch pornos with one girl in them. You should also ask them if they can even NAME porno stars. Who cares? \o/ .. What difference does it make what their names are?

          So.. Only Tiger knows why he got married. It certainly wasn’t because she was the only chick he wanted to hook up with ever again in life. That’s not why guys get rich.. to watch OTHER GUYS have all the fun. That waitress that you’ve been dreaming about screwing the whole time you’ve been sitting in this restaurant lets you know she’s interested?.. It’s ON and POPPIN’! >:D

  2. You said: One of the major disconnects women have is the concept of a guy loving one girl and ******* other girls.

    I know this has been discussed before, but is the need in women to have an emotional attachment biological or social? It is the old Nature or Nurture debate.

    From my own personal experience the most rocking sex I’ve had stemmed from relationships which had a strong emotional component. At those times, if I had been given a choice of say hitting it now with some random dude, or waiting a week to hit it with the emotional attachment guy and I could only have one or the other I would have chosen to wait every time. Why? because why would I settle for some crusty dried out left over pizza just because I happen to be hungry now when I can wait a little while and get some much more satisfying prime rib and all the fixings.

    Of course my food analogy falls completely apart when you consider how much I like variety ;). But maybe my prime rib guy is like prime rib on Fridays and french silk on Saturdays and lamb kabobs on Sundays? Then all of my variety needs are being satisfied by a guy who also meets my emotional needs. The crusty pizza guy might satisfy my immediate hunger, but I’m always hungry again later. (I really shouldn’t comment when I’m hungry).

    Maybe the question I should be asking isn’t why girls have this disconnect, but rather do guys find all sexual encounters to be equally satisfying? I mean, you describe it as desire fullfillment, so does the partner really matter so little so long as they meet a guy’s own predefined concept of attractiveness?

    1. Is the need in women to have an emotional attachment biological or social? It is the old Nature or Nurture debate.

      That’s a good question, Yota. Women are at a chemical disadvantage, due to Oxytocin. Guys can get physical with girls and think nothing of it other than “That was sexy” or “That was fun” or “That was a good time”, and women generally experience lingering physical, chemical, emotional and psychological residuals from hooking up with guys.

      Relative to what you quoted me as saying, it’s very easy for guys to go get some from some chick and then come home to the gal that they actually like and care about and want to spend the rest of their lives with. Meanwhile, gals see infidelity as a definite indicator that their entire relationship doesn’t mean anything and sometimes, that’s the furthest thing from the truth. Since guys know gals they really like are going to freak out if they catch him “cheating”, we lie and act as if every girl we have is the only one.

      Actually, now that you have me thinking about this topic, that’s probably actually WHY women freak out so much about a guy hooking up with another chick. It takes so much, emotionally, for women to do that that they think it’s the same for men. They figure “He wouldn’t have sex with her if he didn’t love her, which means he doesn’t love me…” when the reality was that she was hawt, he felt like ******* her, he did it, it was a good time and now he’s going home to his woman that he loves to spend time with and has no intention of leaving.

      From my own personal experience the most rocking sex I’ve had stemmed from relationships which had a strong emotional component.

      That’s good to know about yourself. πŸ™‚ The only way I can attempt to briefly explain how I feel about that situation is that gals tend to focus on the meaning of things while guys focus on the action. We’re like “Does she turn us on” and “How badly do we want to hit that?”, whereas females are more into the “meaning” of the sex, like the togetherness and bonding and “our bodies become one” blah blah blah.

      Like you said, you can’t achieve that “We’re doing this great thing together” feeling unless you feel in tune with the guy you’re hooking up with. That’s something you’ll feel when you feel it and not before…. However, that’s what slow jam tapes are for.

      You describe it as desire fullfillment, so does the partner really matter so little so long as they meet a guy’s own predefined concept of attractiveness?

      Hmm… Another incredible question that can’t actually be done justice in a blog-post-comment-reply, but I’ll see what I can do.

      First of all, I would ‘spin’ your comment by saying it’s not that the partner “doesn’t matter” but that they “matter equally”. Yes, there are guys that are like “***** is *****” and it doesn’t matter to them how the chick carries herself or what she looks like. On the other end of the spectrum, there are guys that only want to express themselves physically to women they’re in love with or at least care a lot about.

      In between those extremes, you have guys that naturally react to the stimulus of a chick that turns them on.. That could be because she’s physically attractive, she’s intelligent, she’s a sweet, deserving person… Whatever it is that floats his boat, he’s going to enjoy the time he spends with any chick that fits that description approximately equally.

      Corinne’s going to try to kill me for this, but Chicks are like Beer. Each beer has a different taste, but ultimately, the end result is that you get high. \o/

      1. “Women are at a chemical disadvantage, due to Oxytocin.”

        There is a similar hormonal mechanism for men, based on vasopressin:

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vasopressin

        “There is also evidence that differences in the AVP receptor gene between individual members of a species might be predictive of differences in social behavior. One study has suggested that genetic variation in male humans effects pair-bonding behavior. The brain of males uses vasopressin as a reward for forming lasting bonds with a mate, and men with one or two of the genetic alleles are more likely to experience marital discord. The partners of the men with two of the alleles affecting vasopressin reception state disappointing levels of satisfaction, affection, and cohesion.”

        I guess there is also some degree of genetic variation in female humans regarding oxytocin. How else could it be explained that some women are able to abandon or neglect their children?

        Some genes can be activated or deactivated depending on early childhood experiences with the primary caregiver. It seems the brain’s reward systems operate based on the “use it or lose it” principle, see this article here:
        http://pn.psychiatryonline.org/content/45/1/18.1.full

        I know for sure that oxytocin has a powerful influence on me, so I don’t have casual sex at all. Getting someone who I had sex with out of my system is hard work and can be very confusing. I remember one situation when a guy I almost had sex with really annoyed me, and I thought “he’s a jerk”, and then suddenly my brain flashed an image of us in bed together, and I felt overwhelmed with the urge to protect this man, no matter what. Only a second later, I was back to thinking “he’s an ass”…. Extremely confusing.

        1. while there is some truth to the Oxytocin -Vasopressin story its not the big picture. there are many other hormones released during sex in both males and females. for example if your enjoying the sex in both males and females you get dopamine released which is a much stronger activator of reward pathways in the brain. The diffrence is guys can get much higher dopamine levels released during sex without prior emotional conditioning. most girls on the other hand get higher dopamine released when there is prior emotional connection most likely due to serotonin levels. this doesnt mean women cant enjoy sex with somebody they just met it just means that its better when there is an emotional connection.

          1. I don’t know why I missed or failed to respond to Fishingrod’s comment.

            Both of youse bring up some very interesting technical background information that’s definitely worth researching, the bottom line being Fishingrod’s statement “Getting someone who I had sex with out of my system is hard work and can be very confusing”.

            This is one of the differences that causes the most problems between men and women when it comes to fidelity. It’s just not natural for guys and doesn’t make any sense. It’s tough to explain this to women, because the only thing to say is “The sex with the other chick didn’t mean anything to me, which sends you cascading down the rabbit hole because she assumes that sex in general doesn’t mean anything to you and sex with HER doesn’t mean anything to you, so you were better off just staying shut. πŸ˜€

            The fact of the matter is that it’s been proven time and time again COUGHtigerCOUGH that it “ain’t no thang” for a dude to spend his day ******* as many chicks as he can afford and then go home to his wife and kids and enjoy his life like a “regular” husband. To her, it doesn’t make any difference until she finds out. Until that time, her life was exactly the same as it always had been and she was none the wiser. He was keeping HER happy and keeping HIMSELF happy. It’s the American way! πŸ˜€

            This is why, in these particular cases, “Sex Rehab” is complete BULLSHIT. It’s not like these guys don’t know what they’re doing. It’s not like they are getting tricked into having sex with chicks. They like women. They like ******* women. They’re going to do it whether they’re married or not and if they get caught, they can either weasel their way out of it by paying some money and claiming to become religious OR they get dumped, divorced or whatever.

            I’m especially going to look up Vasopressin because I think it might be an interesting blog post topic. If it has something to do with “rewards for long-lasting bonds”, I have that… Just not with ONE chick.

            The main three women I spend time with now, I’ve known for one, two and three years, respectively. I have another chick I’ve been rollin’ with for 10 years by now and I’m still friends with all the exes I have current contact information for. I have lots of long-term bonds with women. That’s one of the reasons I don’t have any interest, desire or need to sell out to one chick because I’ve already got whatever it is she wants me to commit to her for.

            It’s amazing how tough it is to explain some concepts to women because their lives are so completely different, but I’m having fun trying! πŸ˜€

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