Tiger Woods spoke in a press conference just now. Here’s what I got out of it:
Tiger looks good. It doesn’t look like he went through plastic surgery.
According to the written speech, he’s deeply sorry for his selfish and irresponsible behavior.
He’s not as good at reading as he is at golf.
He did better than Chris Brown did, at least.
He sounds rather robotic, like “YABBA. DABBA. DOO”.
Tiger Woods does a lot for the children of the world, and he’s dedicated to making sure that continues.
He’s reading off of a paper to express that he didn’t get jacked up by his wife, Elin.
Tiger was taught to believe in core values, but he convinced himself that normal rules didn’t apply. He never thought about who he was hurting. He thought only about himself. He thought he could get away with anything he wanted to.
He felt entitled to the chicks he hooked up with, because he worked hard to be successful.
Jesus.. Could he have REHEARSED THIS? Come on, man. :/
He seemed to genuinely apologize to the families who held him up as a role model to their kids. I actually believe he’s upset that he jacked that up.
Tiger spent 45 days in inpatient therapy, receiving guidance for the issues he’s facing.
Tiger finally told these jackasses that this situation is between him AND his wife. Thank you. Finally.
Here we go. Now he’s upset! 😀 The only passion we heard the whole time was when Tiger was saying mind your ******* business, leave my family out of this and stop chasing them around trying to take pictures of them. Unfortunately, his passionate section highlighted how little passion was involved in the rest of the speech he read.
Tiger is a Buddhist. Starting tomorrow, he will leave for more treatment and more therapy.
He plans to return to golf someday. He doesn’t know when that will be. He’s not ruling out a return this year. He says he needs to make his behavior more respectful of the game.
He asks the people who believed in him to help him by finding room in their hearts to one day believe in him again.
Tiger then proceeded to get dap from the entire front row, including his mother.
I don’t know what else he could have done. \o/ I think the speech was well-written, by whomever wrote it. I believe he’s going to get more therapy for whatever he thinks is wrong with him, or maybe I should say I believe he’s going to do whatever he needs to do to get back on the golf course, make more money, get more endorsements and not get caught hooking up ever again.
Similar to his abilities to keep his woman from accessing his cell phone, his abilities to read speeches isn’t good at all. Hopefully, this will get the crying-ass pundits to move along and talk about something else, now that he’s admitted what we already knew, that he hooked up with a lot of chicks and he felt entitled to do that because he’s a rich and famous sports player.
Here’s a short video clip from the Associated Press:
Good Luck to Tiger. Had he not been married, none of this would have happened and he wouldn’t be considered a sex addict. Period.