Tiger Woods Press Conference Takeaways

Tiger Woods spoke in a press conference just now. Here’s what I got out of it:

Tiger looks good. It doesn’t look like he went through plastic surgery.

According to the written speech, he’s deeply sorry for his selfish and irresponsible behavior.

He’s not as good at reading as he is at golf.

He did better than Chris Brown did, at least.

He sounds rather robotic, like “YABBA. DABBA. DOO”.

Tiger Woods does a lot for the children of the world, and he’s dedicated to making sure that continues.

He’s reading off of a paper to express that he didn’t get jacked up by his wife, Elin.

Tiger was taught to believe in core values, but he convinced himself that normal rules didn’t apply. He never thought about who he was hurting. He thought only about himself. He thought he could get away with anything he wanted to.

He felt entitled to the chicks he hooked up with, because he worked hard to be successful.

Jesus.. Could he have REHEARSED THIS? Come on, man. :/

He seemed to genuinely apologize to the families who held him up as a role model to their kids. I actually believe he’s upset that he jacked that up.

Tiger spent 45 days in inpatient therapy, receiving guidance for the issues he’s facing.

Tiger finally told these jackasses that this situation is between him AND his wife. Thank you. Finally.

Here we go. Now he’s upset! 😀 The only passion we heard the whole time was when Tiger was saying mind your ******* business, leave my family out of this and stop chasing them around trying to take pictures of them. Unfortunately, his passionate section highlighted how little passion was involved in the rest of the speech he read.

Tiger is a Buddhist. Starting tomorrow, he will leave for more treatment and more therapy.

He plans to return to golf someday. He doesn’t know when that will be. He’s not ruling out a return this year. He says he needs to make his behavior more respectful of the game.

He asks the people who believed in him to help him by finding room in their hearts to one day believe in him again.

Tiger then proceeded to get dap from the entire front row, including his mother.


I don’t know what else he could have done. \o/ I think the speech was well-written, by whomever wrote it. I believe he’s going to get more therapy for whatever he thinks is wrong with him, or maybe I should say I believe he’s going to do whatever he needs to do to get back on the golf course, make more money, get more endorsements and not get caught hooking up ever again.

Similar to his abilities to keep his woman from accessing his cell phone, his abilities to read speeches isn’t good at all. Hopefully, this will get the crying-ass pundits to move along and talk about something else, now that he’s admitted what we already knew, that he hooked up with a lot of chicks and he felt entitled to do that because he’s a rich and famous sports player.

Here’s a short video clip from the Associated Press:

Good Luck to Tiger. Had he not been married, none of this would have happened and he wouldn’t be considered a sex addict. Period.


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  1. Nicely done Bill! To paraphase something said by Stephen A. Smith if Tiger would’ve marketed himself as just a great golfer/athelete that would’ve been fine but he marketed himself as an ethical guy, great family man thereby leaving him open.
    He should’ve demonstrated that same passion when it came to doing the right thang. I am not a big Tiger fan and I am not one to stand in judgement of him or anyone else and I am far from being flawless but I am not taking money from companies to be their ethical model.

    1. Thanks, Debbie 😀

      You’re right about the marketing. Unfortunately, golf isn’t a sport of playboys. It’s normally dudes that look like they can barely walk and the only physical activity they ever do is rotating their bodies and swinging a club. It’s not like basketball or football where you expect women to be attracted to the guys. It’s easy to make golf a sport for “gentlemen” because most of them don’t have any choice at all and won’t be picking up waitresses at Chuck E. Cheese or anywhere else.

      I’m sure it was easy for Tiger to slide right into this and it may even have been part of the impetus for him to get married at all.

      I’m not a celebrity, but just last night, I was hanging out with reader Steve and he was astonished that this chick walked across the bar to come meet me, kiss me on the cheek and give me her number when he knew I hadn’t said a single word to her because I had been standing next to him ever since we noticed her. When you’ve “got it like that”, it’s tough to have a “girlfriend” because you’re meeting new girls every week and they’re all attractive and interested in spending time with you. It’s not an addiction. It’s a fact of my particular life. I can’t even begin to imagine how ridiculous it would be if I were rich, famous, or a sports star.

      Having said that, I know who I am and I’m not about to swear on a stack of bibles that I’m going to be faithful to some chick when there’s no reason for me to be. I don’t have to make concessions to have a girlfriend or wife. I don’t have to make concessions to have kids.. Chicks have been offering me kids for decades already. *yawn* This why I’ve been snapping all over this excuse of Sex Addiction.

      SOME guys are actually addicted. OTHER guys just live a different life altogether where sex is thrown at them all the time and all they have to do is decide whether to take it or not. It’s not an inability to be faithful. It’s a choice not to. Tiger said it himself today. He felt ENTITLED to do what he wanted to do because he’s a successful person in life. I agree with him entirely, except he shouldn’t have gotten married and if someone would have exposed that he hooked up with 14 chicks over what? 6 years? (Tiger & Elin got married in 2004), it’s like “so what?”. That’s like what? 3 chicks per year, when there are 52 weekends in a year? That’s nothing. He wouldn’t even be a playboy if he had been single.

      My issue here is that when you agree to one thing and then do something different, you’re failing YOURSELF. You’re either labeling yourself a weakling that can’t support his own word or you’re labeling yourself a liar that has no intention of honoring anything you said. IMO, *THAT’S* the tough issue to live with.

      Also, something that came up for me in conversations I’ve been having on this topic over the last several months is that Tiger completely played himself as far as being a role model. Even in this blog, I curse as little as possible because you never know who’s going to stumble upon your posts. Sometimes, it’s necessary in order to get my point across, but in general, I’m trying to spark intelligent conversation here without being a negative influence.. and NOBODY thinks I’m a Mr. Nice Guy. NOTHING that I do is dependent upon people thinking I’m not going to try to hook up with their daughers or mothers if I think they’re hawt! HAHA >:D and I *STILL* feel a sense of wanting to attempt to be as decent an example (of whatever) I can be while sticking to the facts and offering genuine commentary on the topics we discuss here.

      I know I’d be like “Damn.. I played myself. :(” If I broke my own code of trying to do the right thing, so I believed Tiger was sincere when he apologized to the families and the kids that thought he was a straight-lace while he was busy screwing porno chicks and waitresses. Like you said, he signed on to carry these people’s hopes and dreams and ended up being a statement of reality. Every Single Day, I say that people are going to do WHAT they want WHEN they want. The opportunity to do what you want is increased manyfold when you have looks, money, health, fame, charisma & talent. I said at the time he was getting married that Tiger was a fool. We’re finding out now that he saw the concept as foolish as well, so now he’s going to have to choose between ONE CHICK and the children she bore for him (them) and all the chicks he COULD hook up with, being who he is.

      He’s obviously attempting to choose the ONE CHICK route. Let’s see whether that lasts.

  2. In Tiger’s “State of Affairs” press release his sincerity seems masked by his robotic mannerisms. The dramatic pause between the 1:44-1:47 second is a dramatic mess. I can’t question his heartfelt sincerity, only God knows his heart. However, I felt like I was watching his spokesperson… not him. Does anyone else get the feeling his true message is .. YES, I cheated, YES, I lied, but old girl didn’t bust me in my mouth so stop saying that?! Tiger sincerely needs to stay focused on the golf stick and not the “reign maker” in his pants.

    1. Thanks for the comments, Bridget. 🙂

      I agree with you completely. The entire thing was robotic. It was like a court official reading a statement into evidence. I’m sure that after all this ridiculousness, he *IS* sorry that he got caught with his chicks, but when you feel like you owe your explanations to your wife and/or kids, apologizing to a crowd of people can’t possibly come off as genuine.

      You were definitely watching his spokesperson, or whomever wrote that speech. Even if Tiger wrote it, which I SEVERELY DOUBT, his publicists would have to revise it. There’s no way they’re just going to let him say whatever he feels about the situation. It’s not intelligent. That’s not what they get paid for. They get paid to craft his image to the public.

      As far as him not getting jacked up by his woman, I already explained that. It’s not in ANYONE’S best interest for him to snitch on his wife. \o/ He did exactly what you said. He admitted what everyone already heard about and refuted everything that was originally refuted. This whole thing was Tiger falling on his sword and admitting what happened so people could say “He admitted it” because that makes a difference to some people.

      On top of that, they explained that the timing of this press conference was because he’s on a one-week break from Sex Club Fed. I’m sure it was part of his program, like a requirement for his graduation or whatever. Not that I would ever be in this position, because a) I’m not a rich sports star and b) my game is much tighter than Tiger’s, but if I were, you can bet your bottom dollar that I wouldn’t require a piece of paper to tell people what I did wrong and what I’m doing to correct the situation.

      The facts are very simple. “I got married. I kept hooking up with chicks. I enjoyed it. I still enjoy it, but I’d like to keep my family, so I’ve accepted being committed into sex rehab. We’re figuring out ways for me to not hook up with hawt chicks that are throwing sex at me all the time. Hopefully, I’ll be successful and my family will remain intact… either way… I’M RICH, BEYOTCH!!! :D”.

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