A reader asked me a question to the effect of whether guys expect sex on the fourth date. I thought this was very interesting because I hadn’t ever considered the concept before. Offhand, I would say “No. Sex is Not expected on the fourth date”.
Sex is expected immediately.
What He’s Thinking
The only reason he spoke to you in the first place was that he thought you were attractive. Similar to not renting a porno movie and waiting three weeks to watch it, he would like to hook up with you BEFORE he introduces himself to you. By the time you become aware of him, he’s already mentally done the deed a few times while he was figuring out what he was going to say to you to get the show on the road.
The number of dates makes no difference. It’s basically True or False. 1 or 0. Yes or No. She gave it up or she didn’t. \o/ So, for instance, a sequence involving sex on the fourth date would look like 0001. Sex on the third date would look like 0010, etc.
The guy is striving for 1111 and there’s really nothing more to say on that topic. :D
What She’s Thinking
Regardless of whether she likes the guy or not, the average gal on the scene is striving not to look like a ho. At some point in history, the Worldwide Queen Of All Women handed down the decree that the magic number for holding out that qualifies a gal as “not a ho” is three (3) dates. Therefore, observing strict adherence to the Women’s Handbook requires a gal to go 000 on her first three encounters with a guy so she will be beyond reproach if she decides to give it up after that.
Thus, the genesis of the question “Is Sex Expected On The Fourth Date?”. What’s going to happen if a chick goes 0000? What about 0000000000?
We See You Coming
Unfortunately for women, men already know what you’re doing. Some guys are willing to wait it out while y’all play games with yourselves. *yawn* Sooner or later, you’ll let yourself do what you wanted to do the first day we kicked it to you and then it’s Game On! :D
One of the failures of the three-date-abstinence rule is that no timetable was handed down regarding space between dates. This means that you can take a chick out three times during the week and still hit it on Saturday, just the way you planned it. It’s not like you only see her ON Saturdays, which would mean that it would take you an entire month to get on.
Another failure is that sometimes, holding out makes a guy MORE likely to hit it & quit it instead of LESS likely. Going out with you and not demanding sex might mean he’s willing to date you ad infinitum without hooking up. It could also mean that he’s got other chicks to kick it with while he waits for you to come around. This is one of the main reasons why I say that sex isn’t expected on the fourth date.
Never. Say. “Never!” ;)
Guys know that BEFORE the fourth date, chicks are gonna kick themselves for giving it up, so date #4 is really the first time they’re spending authentically uninhibited time with them. Assuming the guy hasn’t bailed already, if he’s waited out three dates, there’s no reason he wouldn’t wait out four dates or six or twelve.
You have to consider the reason why she’s dating you in the first place…
She’s going through her usual process to determine whether she wants to give you some or not. If she wins the game and you become her boyfriend, she automatically inherits responsibility for your sexual satisfaction.
It’s not like she’s NEVER going to give it up.. She just wants to feel like it’s a good probability that she’s going to get what SHE wants out of the relationship before getting down with the program.
So.. Date #4 isn’t any sort of significant milestone for a guy. It’s still a 1 or a 0. He gets on or he doesn’t. It’s not like a guy’s gonna say “Tarnation! :/ I took her out all four times like I was supposed to and she STILL didn’t give it up? I’m OUTTA HERE!” :D
If a guy likes you as a person, he’ll hang out with you whether he’s getting on or not. If he doesn’t like you as a person, giving him some most likely won’t change how he feels AT ALL. If you seem sincere in not wanting to have sex with him, most guys will be cool with that too.. Assuming, of course, you’re not the only gal he’s dating. :D